Who'd have guessed Fox would come through for me in the clutch?

The upfronts were last week and they came with more than a few surprises. The fates of NBC's shows were decided a while ago (yay for Chuck! (even if we'll have to wait till March)), so now I can move on to the other nets.

The Fox network has a long, painful, sordid, disappointing past, but they made a real effort to redeem themselves this year. Network president Kevin Reilly gave Dollhouse a stay of execution and allowed for a 13 episode initial pick-up for next season. In spite of criminally undeserved low ratings, Dollhouse's notable online numbers and Whedon's obsessive fans help get a renewal. Deep down, I think Reilly was just sick to death of Whedon fans decrying the network day in and day out, but motives aside, I'm thrilled it got a pick-up. It started out a little shakey, but really hit its stride as the season went on. And, if precedent serves, the second season will be even better than the first. The fledgling seasons of Buffy and Angel were good, but the second seasons were much, much better. So let it be with Dollhouse.

The DH renewal provided a win for nerds, but the cancellation of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles was a fair blow for many. I never got into the show, but I hear it was really solid, and the fact that it featured Summer Glau (a Whedon alum) automatically wins it some points. The TSCC fans cried foul when DH got picked up and TSCC didn't, but TSCC got a reprieve last year and was granted two seasons total, so I say it's DH's turn. :) Plus, now Summer is free to jump shows. While she would make an excellent doll (let's face it, she's basically been playing that role for years now), it sounds like Joss has other plans in mind. Whatever happens, I'm excited to see it.

A final note on Dollhouse, before I get to the new pilots, it's sounding like the episode titled "Epitaph One" won't be airing on Fox and will only be on the DVD set (and possibly at Comic-Con). Felicia Day (aka Penny from Dr. Horrible) plays some sort of post-apocalyptic fighter girl, so I'm completely stoked. Oh, Joss. Only he would cast Felicia in such a role. Awesome. For an interview with Felicia where she talks about DH, go here.

Anyway, in other picked up and cancelled Fox news:

Pick-Ups:
24, American Dad, American Idol, Bones (for 2 seasons... yay...), Dollhouse, Family Guy, Fringe, House, Kitchen Nightmares, Lie to Me (for 13 episodes--initially), The Simpsons, and 'Til Death

Deaths:
King of the Hill, Prison Break, Sit Down Shut Up, and TSCC

So yeah, those are the kiddies who will and will not be returning next year. Among those that will be returning will be a slate of newbies, most of which will suck. Here are the new shows you get to look forward to, or in the case of a few of these, avoid like the plague...

Below are the official descriptions and then my initial assessments of them.

PAST LIFE

Network Write-Up: From writer David Hudgins (“Friday Night Lights”), and inspired by the book “The Reincarnationist” by M.J. Rose, comes PAST LIFE, a new drama series about an unlikely pair of past-life detectives who investigate whether what is happening to you today is the result of who you were before. DR. KATE MCGINN is not your typical psychologist. Confident, outspoken and highly educated, she works at The Talmadge Center for Behavioral Health in New York City, a world-renowned institute dedicated to the study of the science of the soul. After experiencing a past-life regression in her 20s, Kate became a believer in reincarnation. Using regression therapy and her natural gift for reading people, Kate helps solve the mysteries of her troubled clients who suffer from present-day problems caused by past-life traumas. She believes there are levels of consciousness and explanations for human behavior that science can’t begin to explain. Accustomed to skeptics, but not bothered by them, Kate is an unapologetic believer and a force of nature who marches to the beat of her own drummer. Her partner, PRICE WHATLEY, is a different story. A former NYPD homicide detective, pragmatic and cynical, Price is a damaged soul who constantly battles grief and guilt over the accidental death of his wife. Price feels that Kate, though not certifiable, certainly operates on the fringes of science. It's a volatile relationship, but with Price's solid detective skills, and Kate's penchant for out-of-the-box thinking, together they make a formidable, if somewhat dysfunctional, team. A fast-paced emotional thrill ride, each episode finds Price and Kate working with their colleagues to unravel a new mystery involving the past-lives of their clients. DR. MALACHI TALMADGE (Richard Schiff, “The West Wing”) is Kate’s mentor and the center’s namesake, an avuncular but gruff elder statesman who is a legend in the field of cognitive research.



My take: Yeah, you lost me at "the world's authority on past lives." Apparently when all the real professions have been played out on TV, you have to start making some up. Fortunately, the people employed by this fake profession are pretty and blonde, so who cares! I don't know, in the right hands, with the right showrunner, and handled in just the right way, this could work, but the odds of that being the case just aren't good. The trailer alone struck me as nothing but lame. I kind of like the Minority Report cinematography (a conceit that was handled in just the right way so that it actually worked), but the concept is just so very silly that all the pizzazz in the world likely won't save it. It's a shame that so much money and talent went into such a cheeseball story. Richard Schiff? Really? I'm so disappointed...

HUMAN TARGET

Network Write-Up: It takes a brave, selfless man to make himself a “human target” in order to save the lives of those in danger. Based on the popular DC Comics comic book and graphic novel, HUMAN TARGET is a full-throttle action drama centered on CHRISTOPHER CHANCE (Mark Valley, FRINGE), a unique private contractor/security guard hired to protect. Call him what you like, because for Chance, it’s about one thing only: saving his clients’ lives. When there is an unusual or imminent threat that can’t be solved through “normal” means of protection, Chance is hired to completely integrate himself into his clients’ lives – to become the human target. If you’re a corporate manager whose disgruntled employee has gone violently off the deep end, Chance is your new auditor. If you’re the president of a bank who’s been tipped off to a potential heist, Chance is your unassuming bank teller. During each job, Chance, assisted by his business partner WINSTON (Chi McBride, “Pushing Daisies”) and hired gun GUERRERO (Jackie Earle Haley, “Watchmen”), puts himself directly in the line of fire as he races against time to save his client, while unraveling the truth behind the mission. With every new danger, Chance’s dark history will also unravel. Does anyone know who Christopher Chance really is, or what secrets lay buried in his past? What would make a man willingly become a HUMAN TARGET?



My take: This one looks like it could be fun, but it also looks like it's trying to be Burn Notice, and NO ONE can hold a candle to Burn Notice... It's got your typical "he's a badass with specialized skills who can do things no one else can" conceit, which is overdone, to be sure, but it has a solid cast (for the most part) and doesn't appear to take itself too seriously (which is appreciated). I love Chi McBride and Jackie Earl Haley always does a great job, but I have to admit, Mark Valley doesn't really do it for me... I didn't like him in Fringe, but I'm hoping he's better here. All in all, this one looks like it could be a lot of fun. It could also be a completely pointless shoot-em-up action show without any real substance, but I'm hopeful that's not the case. I'm not sure who the showrunner is at this point, so it's hard to tell. Based solely on the talent involved and the trailer, I think this one has some real potential. Don't get me wrong, I'd still much rather have Michael Westen watching my back or keeping me safe, but surely he can't save everybody (and would probably take pleasure in seeing Carla die in a train wreck). Overall, I think this show could work and I'll definitely be giving it a chance. Oy, speaking of, Christopher Chance? Seriously? That's the name? Was Warren Fearless already taken? Ugh. I'm going to choose to ignore that...

GLEE

Network Write-Up: McKinley High School's Glee Club used to be at the top of the show choir world, but years later, it has turned into a haven for misfits and social outcasts. But at McKinley, things for the Glee Club are about to change. From Ryan Murphy, the creator of “Nip/Tuck,” comes GLEE, an uplifting comedy musical series with biting humor that features a soundtrack of hit music from past to present. The show follows an optimistic high school teacher as he tries to refuel his own passion for singing while reinventing the school's glee club and challenging a group of ragtag performers to realize their star potential. WILL SCHUESTER (Matthew Morrison), a young optimistic teacher, has offered to take on the Herculean task of restoring McKinley's Glee Club to its former glory with the help of fellow teacher and germaphobe EMMA PILLSBURY (Jayma Mays). It's a tall order when the brightest stars of the club include KURT (Chris Colfer), a nerdy soprano with a flair for the dramatic; MERCEDES (Amber Riley), a dynamic diva-in-training who refuses to sing back-up; ARTIE (Kevin McHale), a geeky guitarist who spends more time avoiding bullies than chasing girls; and TINA (Jenna Ushkowitz), an awkward girl who needs to suppress her stutter before she can take center stage. Will's only hope lies with two true talents: RACHEL BERRY (Lea Michele), a perfectionist firecracker who is convinced that show choir is her ticket to stardom; and FINN HUDSON (Cory Monteith), the popular high school quarterback with movie star looks and a Motown voice who must protect his reputation with his holier-than-thou girlfriend and head cheerleader, QUINN (Dianna Agron), and his arrogant football teammate, PUCK (Mark Salling).



My take: Okay, so the Glee pilot has actually already aired, so my take actually kind of knows what it's talking about this time (for once). If you'd like to watch the full pilot, it's available here. Not only is it available, but it's pretty damn awesome to boot, so I would seriously suggest checking it out. The pilot was really solid, but I have to say that the preview of next season looks even better. (The pilot aired a couple of weeks ago, but the show won't officially start airing till this fall.) Anyway, this show is from the same guy who was behind Popular back in the day, and most recently worked on Nip/Tuck. I adored Popular and I quite enjoy me some musical elements, so it's little surprise the I enjoyed Glee. I think the only reason I didn't completely adore the pilot is that it's largely the same plot as the movie Election, with most of the same characters, only you have to substitute "student council" with "glee club." It even has the same tone and visual style. Don't get me wrong, Election was a great movie, so if you're going to borrow from something, I would highly suggest it, but it was a little off-putting just how many similarities there were. Anyway, deja vu aside, I think it's going to make for a great series. The pilot was a lot of fun, but also snarky, with an edge of dark humor. Even if you're not into musicals, I think you'd enjoy this show (which isn't really a musical anyway). Word is, Alias spydaddy Victor Garber, Pushing Daisies alum Kristen Chenowith, and Wicked star Idina Menzel will all be making appearances on this show coming this fall, so even if I had hated the pilot, I would still be tuning in. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a great musical number, and with Pushing Daisies over and dead, I need a new outlet. :)

SONS OF TUCSON

Network Write-Up: In the tradition of “Malcolm in the Middle” and “The Bernie Mac Show,” SONS OF TUCSON is a family comedy about three brothers who hire a charming, wayward schemer to stand in as their father when their real one goes to prison. What begins as a business relationship evolves into something more complex and compelling: a family unlike any we’ve ever seen. The three brothers find their dad-for-hire, RON SNUFFKIN (Tyler Labine, “Reaper”), at the local sporting good store. Ron will be forced to draw on a wide array of skills and a vast bag of tricks as he steps into the patriarch role to take care of the boys of the Gunderson family. ROBBY GUNDERSON, 8, is a loose cannon who doesn’t take garbage from anyone; GARY GUNDERSON, 11, is a bright and street-savvy leader who is every bit the con man his father is; and BRANDON GUNDERSON, 13, is a gentle free spirit who goes along for the ride. MAGGIE MORALES, Robby’s second-grade teacher and the object of Ron’s affection, might just be the only stable figure in the lives of this quirky quartet.



My take: Meh. It doesn't look terrible, but it didn't really jump out at me either. Tyler Labine never really held much appeal for me on Reaper, and I'm doubting he will here either. It looks like it could be all right, I suppose, but the whole "he's a fish out of water who doesn't know how to be a dad" thing could get real old real fast. In summation, meh.

MENTAL

Network Write-Up: When DR. JACK GALLAGHER (Chris Vance, “Prison Break”), a dynamic and radically unorthodox psychiatrist, is named Director of Mental Health Services at a Los Angeles hospital, his unconventional style leads some of his new colleagues to believe he may be as unstable as his patients. MENTAL is a medical drama that explores the complexities of the human mind as never before. To Jack, each case is a puzzle to be solved. Confronted with each patient’s crisis, including unknown, misunderstood, and even misdiagnosed conditions, Jack must plunge inside the mind of his patients long enough to uncover what might be the key to their long-term recovery, often times working against the clock and his patients’ wishes. Ever the rebel, Jack insists on getting to the root of his patients’ illnesses by exploring first who they are as human beings, but as he fights to help his patients quickly, he must often work within only a legal 72-hour hold to determine a diagnosis. Jack must reconcile his effective, yet highly unconventional practices with his conservative boss, hospital administrator NORA SKOFF (Annabella Sciorra, “The Sopranos”), who puts her own reputation on the line by hiring him. Unfortunately, his colleagues remain resistant to his treatment methods, including dedicated psychiatrist DR. VERONICA HAYDEN-JONES, who was passed over for Jack’s position, and DR. CARL BELLE, a master politician with a polished exterior who is dedicated to Jack’s downfall.

Here's a clip:



My take: This is another one of Fox's new pet projects which has already aired. I would provide you with the link to the full pilot, but trust me, it not worth the effort. The pilot was bad. I mean really, REALLY bad. Aside from Seymour (from Burn Notice) and Maury (from Gilmore Girls), the pilot had no redeeming qualities. And lest you think those two are enough to compensate for all the rest, they aren't series regulars. They were just patients of the week. The promos and brief clips for this show really don't do the horribleness justice. I'm shocked this turkey even got picked up. The writing was atrocious, the acting was almost as bad, and the overall concept has been done and redone a thousand times, only to a much more successful end. This show is basically House, but crappy. He's a renegade doctor who does what it takes to save the patient and doesn't care who he pisses off in the process. The guy on Mental isn't quite so snarky, and the woman playing the Cuddy on the show wears glasses, but otherwise, it's basically the same idea. Only awful. Don't waste your time with this one. The only real merit I found was in the risibility of the show. This show was so bad it was funny, but not so bad it was awesome. It was actually kind of sad to watch. That, and painful. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad... It's crap like this that makes me understand how shows like The Mentalist stay on the air... The bar is low, people. Really low. I mean, they must have special ordered or sent away for that sucker...

Anyway, there were a couple of other shows on the slate, but neither jumped out at me. One was a new animated comedy that I assume will follow in the footsteps of Fox's current slate of comedies and the other was about a football player or something. I didn't read past "football."

So there you have it. As a professional TV watcher, I'll likely be checking most of these out, even if I don't really want to, but that's the burden I bear for having no life.

You can say that again. And again. And again. :)

Another year, another 743,622 crazy things that happened in a Josh Schwartz production. Much like The O.C. before it, only insanely awesomer, more stuff happens in a couple of episodes of Gossip Girl than happens in three or four seasons of any other show. And with a storyline success rate of about 96%, that's a whole lot of awesome in a relatively short amount of time.

Awww, eases the pain.

Unlike some shows that experience your typical "sophomore slump" in their second season, GG started off strong, got even stronger, then hit a bit of a snag, then ended back at awesome. From a show like this, it's exactly the kind roller coaster I'd expect.

It's truly difficult to comprehend that it was only a few months ago that Blair was dating a British lord, Little J was homeless, and Serena has mysteriously grown attracted to greasy hair and scraggly goatees. Aw, memories. Although overall this show kicks just as much ass as ever, some storylines were more successful than others. It's honestly hard to quantify so much information...

Over the course of the season, I think you'd be hard-pressed to find many viewers who weren't the most invested in the trials and tribulations of Chair (or Bluck--neither portmanteau really works for them...). Chuck and Blair have long been my favorite characters and they're the primary reason I tune in every week. Unlike the insanely dull and eventless back and forth of Dan and Serena (which Leighton Meester calls "Derena" and says it sounds like some snack food--you know, "I could sure go for some Cool Ranch Derena right about now..."), the every changing relationship of Chuck and Blair was never dull, never prosaic or overdone, and even in their briefest and most seemingly humdrum of interactions, the pair was always a joy to watch and squee-worthy at every turn.

Leighton Meester and Ed Westwick somehow manage to imbue every scene with a whole lot more than you'd ever think possible. They have always had great chemistry, no matter how their relationship was defined at the given moment. Chuck and Blair make for devilish enemies, passionate lovers, the most loyal of friends, and ruthless competitors, and they do so all at once. It's really quite impressive. Their feelings and motives in season 1 were usually veiled and only occasionally naked and honest, but in season 2, with the unremitting horribleness that happened to them both, they each had to shed the facade more and more often, in spite of their desperate attempts to keep the charade going. I think Gossip Girl herself hit it on the head during graduation when she labeled Blair a weakling (which belies her ruthless, unrelenting Queen B routine), and Chuck a coward (who has built himself up as this amoral playboy who isn't afraid of anything). Chuck's father dying threw a wrench into the game they play (you know, the "you say it first" nuclear assault they'd been engaged in for so long). Chuck fell apart, and Blair quickly followed. After going through something so traumatic, it's hard to think they could put the masks back on, but that's only mode in which Chuck and Blair know how to operate...

Which brings us to the season finale where Blair, once again, tells Chuck how much she loves him, and he's too much of a coward to handle it. Being the spoiler hound that I am, I had it on good authority that it wouldn't end like that again, but it was still damned distressing to watch. The revelation that Blair had hooked up with Uncle Jack didn't play out how I had anticipated at all. In fact, it's pretty clear that the writers decided to seriously overhaul the storyline before it had all played out. Back during the episodes with Jack, there was a promo that aired with Chuck confronting Jack about Blair saying, "Blair wouldn't touch you."



That scene never aired in the actual episode. It would seem that Chuck was supposed to have found out ages ago, but they decided against it. In fact, even the nature of Blair's and Jack's New Year's secret seems to have been revamped (or else Blair simply isn't providing the horrible details--which is definitely a possibility). If you watch the scene at the opera where Jack tries to assault Lily in the ladies room, you can hear Blair's voice yelling/commanding/almost screaming for Jack to stop (see below, about 4 minutes in).



I think in it's original incarnation, Jack was to have raped or assaulted Blair in some manner and she agreed to keep her mouth shut if he brought Chuck back. Although that would have been a much more powerful story arc, I'm kind of relieved they scrapped it. Blair has quite enough horrible in her life without adding that to the mix. After it was clear that the writers had tossed out that idea, I was still certain that it would be revealed that she had slept with Jack as a means of persuading him to go get Chuck. I was sure when it was all revealed, Blair would have told Chuck that it was the only way Jack would go get him, or something like that. Alas, the big secret, although still damning, barely caused any waves at all in the finale. I really enjoyed that Blair likened her tryst with loathsome uncle Jack to Chuck's dalliance with Vanessa though. Heh.

Anyway, as a final note on Chair, I have to admit that the closing scene of the finale was delightful. I'm not of the opinion that they should stay together as a happy couple for long (we all know how boring that is), but it's nice to see them happy once and a while. There are fans out there who want nothing more than for the two of them to live happily ever after, and I just don't understand that at all. How dull would that be? Ugh. Chuck and Blair are at their best when they're at odds, and fortunately, for a show like this, it shouldn't be long for that to be the case once again. :) If it makes the Chair-shippers happy, I'm supremely confident that they can be at odds even more effectively while they're together than when they're apart. So really, it's a win-win (like goose grease). It was only fitting that the closing scene of the season had Chuck finally tell Blair that he loves her. It hasn't been a secret for ages and ages, but that he got up the gumption to admit it to her was fun to watch and extremely satisfying after all we've been through. I especially liked that Blair asked him to say it again. And again. Even when she finally gets what she wants, she likes to hold the reins. It's just so very Blair it's delightful. At first I thought that the scene should have been set in a more intimate space, but after thinking about it, out in the open was much more meaningful. Chuck really had been a coward, heretofore, and telling Blair he loved her in public was a lot braver.

As much as I would love for Chuck and Blair to be the entire show, there actually are other characters to keep track of. Sadly though, they are generally the aspects of the show that led to some less-than-stellar storylines (the 80s weren't quite as awesomely 80stacular as one would have hoped, for example). Serena's fling with Aaron Rose was unpleasant, don't get me wrong, but her back and forth with Dan got very old, very fast. Part of the reason for Serena hooking back up with Dan for the 87th time was that the writers decided to write Aaron off the show well before his story arc was supposed to be over. The fans hated him, the storyline wasn't really working, and the actor they had cast was about as unappealing as possible. As such, while Aaron was supposed to come back from Argentina with Serena, the writers just decided to leave him there (and I can't says I blame them). I think the problem with Aaron mostly came down to unfortunate casting. He was just bland, unkempt, and charmless from beginning to end. Anyway, curtailing that storyline left a void the ultimately led back to Dan. Again. They only mostly worked for me as a couple the first (and possibly second) time around, so this was overkill that really dragged for a few episodes and was clearly a patch job with the overall arc.

Another storyline that didn't really work out was Rachel Carr. I'm confident in saying the episode titled "Carrnal Knowledge" was my least favorite of the series (not season, series). Although her character served an important purpose, the way it all played out fell a little flat. I was glad to see the writers wrap that up as soon as possible and send her back to Iowa or wherever she was from. But, once again, cutting one storyline short led to some sloppy recovery. Add to that the fact that the brass at the CW ordered 3 additional episodes out of no where, and the writers were left with fewer stories to fill more episodes. Henceforth with the filler... Not that I don't enjoy the filler in a way, but it all just detracts from more important things. There were a few episodes toward the latter quarter of the season that were fun and all, but didn't have a whole lot of substance in the end. I was glad to see the show really rein things in at the very end and wrap up a lot of loose ends and terminate a lot of filler storylines.

Among the stories that didn't really work for me were the Eyes Wide Shut escapades in which Chuck inexplicably found himself mired. Elle was never really established as a real character, so she came across as a random obstacle between Chuck and Blair. As lackluster as the arc was, I thought they wrapped it up quite well. A lot of guys have a savior complex where the thought of rescuing some poor damsel (read: hooker) from the depths is appealing, and to see that Elle was the one taking the advantage the whole time really put Chuck in his place. He was being played by the very person he was trying to save, and the whole fantasy just fizzled as a result. It smacked him in the face with a few realities that he had been too stubborn to acknowledge which was something that needed to happen, one way or the other. I have to hand it to the show that even the most frivolous of storylines have a purpose, and even if they aren't executed brilliantly, they're almost never true throw-aways and always seem to matter (even if they only matter in so much as they lead characters to something that actually matters). Clear as mud, eh?

Peeps on the web had a whole lot of anger to express about Blair and Nate getting back together, but I was generally okay with it. That's not to say that I like them together as a couple (I'm not sure it would be possible for a pair to have less spark), but in terms of the characters, it felt more organic and natural than I was expecting. Nate's always just kind of along for the ride, looking pretty and staring off into space, so when Blair comes up with a plan, it makes sense to me that they would both fall into it. Again. They were both totally lost and nothing was turning out as it should, so why wouldn't they happily jump back into a setting that was safe and comfortable. I also quite enjoyed the dynamic it made between Nate and Chuck, with Chuck trying to be the friend, but presented with a situation that he genuinely cannot be objective. Not that I was sorry to see them break up, but I seem to have enjoyed that little detour more than most.

In any season of any show, there will be things that worked and things that didn't. This season had a good few that didn't really do it for me, but overall, the goods outweigh the bads by a significant margin. Little J's fashion line turned homeless train wreck was completely awesome (and it was a sheer delight to see a former O.C.er on board), Cyrus Rose (unlike his son) is inconceivably delightful and exactly what Blair needed in so many ways, Chuck's odyssey to the brink, beyond the brink, and back again made for the most powerful and devastating story arc of the series so far, and the Chuck and Blair emotional arms race was riveting from beginning to end. Even Lufus van der Humphrey turned into a more interesting plot twist than I would have expected. I think we all knew there was no way he was dead from the very beginning and had to assume he'd be making his way onto the show eventually, but I genuinely don't know what his motives are at this point, and quite frankly, can't wait to find out. The Lily and Rufus relationship lost all of its spark and interest over the season (at least for me), but I'm intrigued enough with their long lost son that it kept me going.

Lufus was just one of the many twists the finale had to offer. Front and center, the kiddies try to unmask Gossip Girl. Quite frankly, I'm kind of surprised they never did this before... Especially after being completely demolished with her gossip, I think I'd be trying to nail down who GG was, how he/she came to know what he/she knew, and where I could hide a body. I guess it speaks to the nature of the conceit that they never really pursued this in the past. Rumors, gossip, and intrigue form the basis of their little cutthroat society. Gossip Girl acts as more of a framework for how people interact with one another than as a person. Plus, as Gossip Girl points out, everyone on the show is Gossip Girl. They are the ones sending tips; they are the ones spreading and receiving rumors. They aren't just subject to the machine's wrath, they are the machine. They keep it going. It's a burden and a tool. A social structure and a menace. They love it, and they hate it. And it seems that only when Gossip Girl decides to make some truly incisive and accurate assessments does anyone stop to think of Gossip Girl as a person. No one sent Gossip Girl a tip saying that Chuck is a coward, Blair is a weakling, Nate is a whore, Dan is the ultimate insider, and that Serena is irrelevant. That wasn't a function of the machine at work. That was someone firing a shot across the bow, independent of the tipsters and gossip-mongers. All those monikers are accurate and that's what makes them powerful. I thought each assessment was perfect, correct, and just the thing to say to set each of those people off. The only person who would really worry about being an insider is Dan, who has pretended to be the lonely outsider for the past two years, even though he's been right in the middle of everything. Nate's moniker is just obvious, but still packs a punch. Blair's and Chuck's were addressed earlier and Serena's, while it likely won't actually happen, it's one of Serena's biggest fears. Does Serena matter if there's no Gossip Girl to write about her? Does she have anything to offer besides tabloid fodder? She doesn't really know, and that scares her to death. The finale had its weak points, but the titles doled out by Gossip Girl did a really nice job of boiling down who these people really are at the end of the day (or at least who they're afraid they are).

This show is based on perceptions, facades, secrets, reveals, and masks, so having Gossip Girl out everyone on everything leaves everyone dazed, confused, but ultimately... free. For the moment, anyway. I really loved the scene where Gossip Girl got them all to go to that bar only to realize that they are all cogs in the machine, but that for the moment, the machine isn't running. All the gossip there was to tell has been told. And in spite of Gossip Girl's assurance that she'll be following them to college, for the moment, no one really knows what to do with themselves. For the first time, they can just relax. There's no threat of nuclear attack, no worry that your darkest deepest secret will be revealed. For once, they're all out of nukes and secrets. It's a nice moment. And it sets up a clean slate for next season, although not without some teases...

The big finale set up a fair set of little cliffhangers, but nothing insanely huge, much like last season. The show is good at leaving things up in the air so that they can go just about anywhere with it. Serena and Carter (whom I hated at first, but after watching Kings, really quite enjoy him now) are apparently off to look for Keith van der Woodsen, Georgina made an awesome return to tie up the Ponzi scheme storyline (yet another that peeps had a lot of issues with, but that I thought worked pretty well) and will apparently be rooming with Blair next season (!), Lufus may or may not be up to no good, I'm still not sure where some people are going to school, Lily and Rufus got engaged, but under dubious circumstances (or shall I say, "doobie-ous"), and Little J took over the high school (!!). I, for one, can't wait. I don't know where season 3 will take us, but it'll surely be somewhere crazy. :)

Count. Me. In.

Boner Candidate

There are really only so many sharks a show can jump before you really stop expecting anything of substance... For Bones, that was at least 27 sharks ago-- about a dozen of which were in last night's finale alone.

**SPOILER ALERT** (although I'm doubting there's anyone out there who really cares enough about this show to worry about me spoiling anything...)

Bones has never been a show that takes itself very seriously, but the past couple of seasons, it seems to be having a hard time even being competent. As you may recall from last year's assessment of this show, I've never been particularly invested in this one, but it made for a decent rainy day show, floating around my second and third tiers. Season three was irksome on dozens of levels, but went above and beyond its usual lack of decent writing when Zach was revealed as Gormogon's apprentice. I'm utterly incredulous that a show that's this successful could have such a half-assed, no-talent writing staff (until I saw The Mentalist, that is). Anyway, I bitched and moaned about season 3 last year, so I was going to try to keep this discussion specific to season 4, but so many of the problems begun by last season's incompetence spilled over into the current season and helped rot the the poorly-made barrell.

Taking Zach out of the equation was a terrible move. It would have been one thing if his character had been subtly and slowly built up over the course of the season as a possible candidate for Gormogon, but the authors were either too lazy or too talentless to handle such a basic task. As such, revealing him as the bad guy and taking him off the show wasn't so much powerful story telling as pathetic and annoying. The fans of the show were pissed and season 4 did nothing to ameliorate the situation. Rather than casting a new character to fill Zach's role, they instead opted to cycle through different potential replacements week-to-week, most of whom were more annoying than the last. The audience didn't have a chance to become fond of any of them, really, because they were gone the next week. Unlike when Cam was introduced (and completely loathed) and held in place long enough for her to become at least tolerable, no new Zach stuck around long enough to become enjoyable, thereby making Zach's absence even more disconcerting. It also served to remind the audience of why he wasn't there (you know, what with him being a criminal mastermind and whatnot), which brings the audience back to pissed off again. Oy.

Sadly that wasn't the only area of contention for this season. Now, I realize that this show has always had an easier-going, more fun-loving approach to procedural crime solving (which was one of its best assets, to be sure), but the past season, they don't seem to even have real jobs anymore. More and more, Booth and Bones simply threw themselves into some wacky situation where they ultimately solved a murder in their spare time. The wackiest episodes were enjoyable on a certain level, but the basis for the show got muddled and the supporting players became increasingly useless and their methods increasingly ridiculous (seriously, the phlebotinum used on Bones makes other shows look down-right plausible). The long-running dichotomy between the clinical science of lab and the brash humanism of the field became entirely obscured as everyone on the show started acting out of character more often than in character, and various Ret Cons threw the whole show out of balance. Yeah, turns out Zach wasn't actually a killer (you know, because that was a total mess and the writers decided they needed to at least kind of clean up such a stupid, implausible storyline). Cam has a long lost, adored daughter no one has ever heard of (in spite of her continual assertions that she has no desire or tolerance for children). Blah, blah, blah...

Speaking of acting completely out of character and developing a sudden desire for children, the show decided to delve into one of the worst possible shark jumps with Bones spontaneously deciding to procreate. They did a fair job hanging a lantern on the situation to mask the irrational, spur of the moment change of heart, but for someone as completely rational as Bones to make such a sudden and unexamined decision, it fell flat. She (and every other woman on the planet) would have put in much more than 38 seconds worth of consideration into such a decision, but rational beyond rational Bones just decides to go with it, basically undermining three seasons of evidence to the contrary. Aside from the lazy story writing (by a writing team which simply has to be comprised largely of men), it makes for an incredibly painful and embarrassing story path that viewers only have to hope won't pan out. Seriously, when rumors started swirling about that Bones had suddenly decided her "clock was ticking" as showrunner Hart Hanson put it, the response was overwhelmingly negative. Children hinder just about any show in my estimation, but particularly for a show like this? It's going to make a bad show even worse. I can just see the writers' room patting themselves on the back for this idea though. "Won't it be wacky to watch Bones with a baby!? You know, the baby she never wanted until ten minutes ago? It'll be like Booth in the UK! A real fish-out-of-water spectacular! Don't worry about it going completely against her character profile, all women want babies, right! I don't actually know any women, or any scientists for that matter, but that's just how it is, right!?"

Ugh. Bad. Grr... (You see what you've done, show? Reduced me to caveman criticisms... Beer bad.)

All these wacky and completely unsupported elements came together with a heavy dollop of soap opera-ishness in the closing episodes of the season. Along with an alarming number of characters on other shows, Booth began hallucinating in wacky ways and was later diagnosed with... wait for it... a brain tumor! Which brings us to the season finale...

Yeah, so unlike other shows that did the whole alt verse reveal in awesome and often shocking ways (see: House season finale, Fringe season finale, Newhart, if you want to go old school), Bones' alt verse shenanigans were so obvious that it wasn't fun or surprising. The best "things aren't really what they seemed" episodes (or entire story arcs) have the audience unsure of what's going on at first, and only slightly suspecting that something isn't right. The most successful and exhilarating reveals happen in such a way that with one sudden reveal, all the pieces fall into place and the alternate reality is exposed. With Bones? It's apparent from the very first moments that we're in an alternate reality and that it's more than likely as a result of Booth's tumor. To the show's credit, they at least made it ambiguous as to whether or not the events of the finale were happening in Bones' novel or in Booth's head (or both), but ultimately, who really cares? The events of the alt verse were not pertinent or pivotal to anything in the real world, so the entire storyline is dismissed as just another wacky outing for the Bones crew.

There are those that might argue that the ways in which the regular characters were transformed in the dream/novel/who the hell cares illuminate Bones' and Booths' perceptions and desires, but I just can't bring myself to think long and hard enough about such fluff to make it meaningful. As far as I'm concerned, the writers just wanted a means of getting Bones and Booth in bed together without actually having them hook up (again). (Not that I'm saying they should hook-up, but all the teasing gets real old real fast.) Don't get me wrong, in and of itself, the episode was kind a fun little lark, but it ultimately doesn't carry much weight and didn't have the audience guessing throughout.

When it's revealed that Bones had been writing the story, the first thought went through my head was, "Lame." If I'm forced to give the writers more credit than they deserve, I'd say that the events of the finale were of Bones writing as a coping mechanism, and allowing her sudden desire to have a child to come to fruition in a more romanticized, theatrical way (rather than artificial insemination, or whatever her current plan is). This would explain why she deleted it upon Booth's waking up--i.e., she no longer needs to cope. That would help explain why she used everyone's real names, rather than in a real novel, where she would have made up new ones. It's intentionally unclear if Booth had the same kind of dream experience or if parts of the narrative were Bones' writing and parts were Booth's dream, but again, ultimately, I don't really care. It just felt like a throw away storyline.

Certain elements of the finale were charming in their own right, and it's on that level that I was able appreciate any of it. It was fun to see some old characters return, and Dr. Sweets saying that some people think he's Gormogon, but he isn't, was a particularly nice touch. I also found myself liking the temporary ducklings a hell of a lot more in alt verse than I do on the regular show, so I don't know what that says about them as regular characters... It was light and fanciful and all that jazz, but it mostly felt self-indulgent, and for a finale, I really would have preferred something with a lot more impact...

Oh, wait, the impact comes at the very end. A real cliffhanger, this one! Tapping into The Young and the Restless once again... Booth has amnesia! There's the impact you've been waiting for! Huzahh! Nothing is what it seems! Or whatever...

Yep, I mostly don't care. This show has devolved (from already mediocre beginnings) into lame parlor tricks and hackneyed storylines that don't even make sense most of the time. Oy.

I'm honestly not sure why I keep watching... I think The Mentalist has lowered the bar just enough that I can withstand just about anything these days...

In related news, the craptacularity that is Bones has been renewed for the next two seasons. At the rate we're going, Bones and Booth will be revealed as long lost siblings in no time.

(God I hope none of the writers of the show read this blog, because they'll surely think I've struck a gold mine for next season! "Come on, guys! It worked for Star Wars, right? It'll work for us!)

Ugh.

This Old House

My relationship with House has been a bit lackluster these past couple of seasons... It's not that things have gotten horrible or anything and I didn't feel that unrelenting need to break things off as I did with Grey's Anatomy and Heroes, but that's not to say it's been smooth sailing. Some relationships end in an annoyed, fiery, resentful cliff dive out of the whole messy business, and others just kind of fade away...

After five seasons, just about any show would start to loose some of its punch, but for a procedural in particular, episodes devolve into utterly routine even faster. There are exceptions, but by and large, I can tell you whether or not the diagnosis is correct based on how many minutes are left in the episode and can see House's epiphany coming from a mile away. Procedural shows are fairly formulaic on a fundamental level, given the nature of the conceit, so it's not unexpected that the show would follow the same format from week to week. It's one of the main reasons procedurals aren't exactly my favorites. In general, the A-plots kind of bore me. With House, the patient of the week forms the basis for pretty much the entire episode, and while I've always been invested enough in the patients to enjoy the A-plots well enough, they've never really been the reason I watch the show. The patients are more like a framework for House, Cuddy, Wilson, and the ducklings to work around and react to. Some patients are more intriguing than others, but after 5 seasons, I generally don't care anymore.

In many ways, the show is as good as ever, but I think most House fans can agree that the ushering in of new, and considerably crappier, ducklings, coupled with the criminally reduced screen time and story relevance of Cuddy and Wilson (and even Cameron and Chase) have rendered the past two seasons far inferior to the previous three.

I can definitely understand where the show wanted to get some new blood on board and even quite enjoyed the Survivor-style interview process of season 4, but the end results were underwhelming, disappointing, inexplicable, and most heinously... dull. Of all the potential ducklings, Amber was one of the few that really stood out as a character who could truly add a new facet to the aging show, but they went and killed her off. It's to Anne Dudek's credit that she managed to make a cutthroat bitch the best new character on the show and managed to make the story arc involving her death one of the best of the entire series. Aside from her presence, season 4 was a little misguided in my estimation, and without her, would have begun House's decent into the second (third?) tier all the quicker.

So, after the heart-wrenching brilliance of the final two episodes of season 4 (which managed to compensate for the otherwise marginal success of the rest of the season), my confidence was bolstered once again. As unenthused as I was with the winning ducklings, I was confident the writers had figured things out and would somehow manage to make it all work with the upcoming season.

I was wrong...

It's not simply that there had been a few cast changes. It wasn't just a devoted fan's defiance of change or a loyalty to the old characters. The new batch of underlings changed the dynamic for the show, but not in a good way.

I never truly appreciated the original ducklings until they were replaced. In fact, Cameron, Chase, and Foreman were my least favorite elements of the show. They were all annoying in their own special ways and during the first three seasons, I didn't pay too much attention to them. Cameron was whiny, Foreman was devoid of all personality, and Chase was just kind of pissy and lazy (which, given the bar being that low, made him my favorite). After the induction of Kutner, Taub, and [insert loatheful shudder] Thirteen, I found myself wishing I could have the old team back for pretty much all of this past season.

It's not just that they were new and rabid TV watchers fear change, it's that they are pretty much completely useless, unrelentingly annoying, and don't provide House (or any other character) with an interesting character to play off of. These three were desperate to be on House's team, so unlike the original trio, they never really stood up to him or challenged his assumptions. The old team may have been annoying, but they each served a very specific purpose. In their own way, each of the originals provided opposition for House to antagonize, mock, and appreciate. The newbies, on the other hand, spent all of season 4 trying to win a spot on the team, and the better part of season 5 not knowing what to do with themselves now that they had won. After three seasons of largely the same construction, I was very open to change, but the changes that were made fell flat, ultimately fizzled, and were deleterious to the elements of the show that were still working.

It's bad enough that Cameron and Chase were relegated to cameos at best (seriously, I think their combined screen time for all of season 5 would come in at about 20 minutes), but that Cuddy and Wilson were reduced to bit parts and their characters reduced to shells of their former selves was just unforgivable. Cuddy and Wilson were always my absolute favorite parts of the show, but Cuddy was reduced to a powerless, simpering idiot who wanted a baby and Wilson was turned into a mopey, useless, wet blanket after Amber's death. In that regard, their severely reduced screen time and relevance was actually kind of appreciated, but what little they showed up was mostly disappointing.

I really do believe their characters could have been salvaged (and to be fair, toward the end of this season, they had greatly improved over their early season selves), but so much time and attention was paid to the new ducklings that no other storylines could be paid due attention.

Most egregious and horrendously unsuccessful among the bunch? Do I even have to say?

Ask just about any House fan what the worst part of the past two seasons has been and you'll get a near unanimous answer: Thirteen. No contest, end of story, period. She was dead weight pretty much from the very beginning, but then throw in a belabored and unremittingly boring storyline about her Huntington's Disease and the show became nigh unwatchable. God bless my DVR, because if I hadn't been able to zip through those scenes with Lori Petty, I'd have been forced to break up with the show outright. Add to that her relationship with Foreman (far and away the most boring character on the show) and you've got a recipe for eye-gougingly painful TV. When you find yourself desperately hoping that a character will get shot or drugged to death during a hostage situation and that character is not the bad guy, you know you've got a problem. The show kept teasing that Thirteen could be bumped off, but then go and kill of Kutner instead. Kutner. The only one of the newbies who really had any potential. (I realize that was Kal Penn's decision, not so much the show's, but still.)

So between Kutner's death and Thirteen's life, how could I enjoy the show as I once had? Taub? Yeah, not so much. Don't get me wrong, somehow I was more interested in his marriage and career woes than with Thirteen's life-changing diagnosis and near death experiences, but he's no where near enough to make up for his fellow ducklings. Oy.

Amid all the detrimental changes that so tragically bogged down season 5, I found that even the elements that remained the same have been so overdone that I'm kind of bored with it. House is as snarky as ever, his medical deductions are still impressive, and his manipulations and insanities are ever present, but I've seen it all before. His wacky and often criminal approach to medicine was a joy from the beginning, but after five years of watching him do crazy things, they just don't have the same punch that they once did. House has always been the linchpin of the series, and Hugh Laurie is as brilliant as ever, but it just doesn't have the same effect. To quote a very wise, sagacious soul, "The thing is, there's not really anything wrong with the Itchy & Scratchy Show. It's as good as ever. But after so many years, the characters just can't have the same impact they once had." The setup, the conceit, House himself, the formula... They just aren't really doing it for me anymore. It's gotten to the point where the differentials have become perfunctory rather than illuminating and I just can't even bring myself to listen anymore, and that's coming from someone who's interested in medicine and likes to play along. Back in the day, I quite enjoyed listening to the back and forth, the diagnosis debate, and the ethical conundrums House put his team in, but between the underlings having no backbones and the show having dealt with over 100 patients, I just can't get all that excited about it anymore...

At the end of the day, it's still a good show, but I don't think it can hold up as it once did. I finally got around to watching the season finale last night, and while it was a very good episode with an interesting patient (who pointed out deeper facets to the main characters--an element that factors in to all the best patients on the show) and had a great twist, I have to admit I just wasn't all that enthralled overall. I really did enjoy the House/Cuddy and House/Wilson of it all, and it was lovely to see Amber for these past few episodes (proving to be one of the best parts of the show, even a year after her death), but all the pieces just seem overdone at this point. That House's perception of reality over the past few episodes has been warped and unreliable (at best) was the most fascinating part of this season's end. I really liked that the audience got to see how House's subconscious (psychosis?) or whatever is going on inside his head would construct his own universe and to find that his fantasy is completely different from his reality. For a character like House, whose rational brain is his greatest asset and most important quality, to suddenly find himself unable to tell what's real and what isn't made for a fascinating, and most importantly, refreshing dynamic on an otherwise aging show. The big reveal at the end of the episode, that the events of the past few days were largely a construct of House's vicodin-addled brain, was very well done. I particularly liked the bit with the lipstick. Unlike other shows (I'll get to my Bones finale ridiculous jump the sharkiness later...), House very subtly inserted clues that what we were seeing wasn't actually the reality of the situation. I kept thinking to myself, why has no one mentioned the fact that he's twirling a lipstick around? How is it that his leg pain has so thoroughly subsided? How did he totally detox so quickly? The show layered in little hints and conundrums, but didn't put everything together until the very end. It was very satisfying and had a hint of the old spark this show used to have on a regular basis.

The season ends with House entering a psychiatric facility and leaves the future of these characters way up in the air. As disappointed as I was with many facets of this season, the writers always manage to bolster my confidence in the end. I'm not breaking up with House, in spite of my concerns. It has become a second tier show, but I'm keeping the faith. I'll have to see how next season goes and have already accepted that this might have been my last full season of the show.

In many respects, it's as strong as ever, but after so many episodes of mostly the same routine, I'm a little bored, and to large extent, I've lost that lovin' feeling.

But I guess that's what marriage is all about. ;)

A Fifth of Whiskey...

...goes a hell of a long way.

**SPOILERS ABOUND**
So if you haven't watched the Dollhouse finale, I'd suggest you do so before venturing any further... and after looking at the length of this monster, I'd suggest you pack a lunch and take frequent breaks... I have way too much time on my hands--yet not enough to proofread, so good luck...

With a show like Dollhouse, you find yourself questioning just about everything. In a universe where anyone can be anyone, and reality is completely subjective, it's tough to nail down the edges and hammer out the exact details (annnd I seem to have stumbled into an unintentional carpentry metaphor... huh). Henceforth, at various points during the season, I've questioned who may or may not be a doll with just about every character in the show. That said, I'm thrilled to say that I honestly didn't see Whiskey coming and it made for a pretty delightful reveal.

When Wash was revealed as Alpha, it was fairly anticlimactic given that I had learned that this was the case well beforehand. As I watched the episode, and Alan Tudyk quickly shifted from meek scientist to psychotic killer, I couldn't help but to think that for viewers who didn't know that was coming, it must have been an awesome reveal. It then occurred to me that the only people watching Dollhouse would be people who would already know who Wash was and that he was going to be playing Alpha about 8 episodes ago. Nevertheless, it was well done and Alan Tudyk's performance was completely badass from beginning to end. An even better reveal, although I actually saw this one coming, was November. I suspected that she was a doll from the very beginning, but the sequence where Adelle flips the switch over the phone so that November can totally kick some ass was masterfully done. I suspected she was a doll, but I didn't see that reveal playing out like that at all. The cutaway from Paul calling the house as he raced back and then having the answering machine pick up with Adelle's voice was absolute genius and made that episode one of the very best of the season.

Those reveals were impressive enough, but the fact that I didn't see Whiskey coming made her reveal much more satisfying. I'm extremely glad I didn't know (even though as I'm typing this, I keep thinking, "I probably should have seen that coming..." and trying to decide if I'm a moron for not knowing) because the reveal, a true reveal this time, was fantastic. It was especially delectable because the reveal that Dr. Saunders was a doll, a doll that was closely tied to Alpha when Alpha first started to go off grid, answered a hell of a lot of questions. Though the revelation wasn't quite as thrilling as November's, it was much more meaningful.

When I saw the figure silhouetted, I assumed it was Echo (as I'm sure was the show's intention). That's kind of where I kick myself for not thinking about it harder and not seeing it coming that the dancing figure might not be Echo. I feel like I should have known. In my defense, however, I assumed that the show was simply reminding us of how very "on Fox" we were, because nothing spells Fox programming quite like a scantily clad dancing girl (and let's face it, it would have been about the dozenth time this season that Echo would have filled such a role). Whether I should have seen it coming or not, I didn't (I was going to lie and say I did, but in the interest of full disclosure, I'll admit to being a fool) and when Dr. Saunders stepped out from silhouette and was clearly a doll, a barrage of oh-well-that-explains-a-lot!s went off in my head. Awesomely, delightfully, brilliantly.

I spent the rest of the episode thinking of everything that had happened on the show and how Whiskey had been built up without my knowing it. I was so focused on how Echo and Alpha formed the crux of the narrative that Dr. Saunders somehow slipped by. That revelation goes back to pretty much every previous episode and explains a hell of a lot, and for a viewer, there's no better turn than one that informs on all other events. It's why the Sixth Sense was such a success. Seeing Whiskey and Alpha interact while they were on their Natural Born Killers assignment explains why he didn't kill her when he killed everyone else. There was a connection there. A connection that Alpha's real alter ego appreciated. That Dr. Saunders is a doll explains how she would have seemingly implicitly known that the actives needed closure in that episode where Echo, Victor, Sierra, and November were allowed to "wake up" and take care of things in their real lives. It explains why Alpha asked her if she had always wanted to be a doctor and then mocked her affirmative response. It explains why Dr. Saunders has always had a more sympathetic relationship with the dolls, because (whether she realized it or not), she related to them on a fundamental level. It also explains how she came to have such a job in the first place, why she never seems to leave, and how a young, attractive doctor would seemingly have no friends or associates outside the house. And most thought-provoking, it shed a curious light on Dr. Saunders' relationship with Topher, who programmed her in the first place, although that asked a lot more questions than it resolved. It answered all those questions and more and the flashbacks to her days as a doll helped outline what happened with Alpha, how Echo got mixed in with all this, and what imprint he gave Echo to get her out of the dollhouse. It was exceedingly satisfying and quite a delight as all those things that I had questioned fell into place all at once.

The season (series?) finale was at its best with its flashbacks and Whiskey-related revelations. I found myself much less interested in Echo's perils than with the good Dr. Saunders and her heartbreak at realizing she was a doll. This whole show has reminded me of Blade Runner since day one, and Dr. Saunders realizing who she is/was was as poignant as Deckard illuminating the fact to Rachael that all her memories were fake and that she was herself a replicant. Take into account the theory the Deckard was himself a replicant and the actives in the Dollhouse take on even more parallels and titillating dimensions. For me, the Whiskey storyline was at least as important as the Alpha/Echo craziness, and as far as I'm concerned, a lot more visceral and delivered more meaningful impact. The scene where Dr. Saunders confronts Topher was probably the best, most memorable, and most engaging event of the finale. To see Topher, who heretofore had basically been an amoral prick with a serious god complex, truly, deeply, emotionally affected by the situation was completely gripping. The confrontation begged so many questions about their relationship that I want to know the answers to, but more than likely never will (damn network--odds are my darling Dollhouse won't be coming back next year). I loved that she broached the confrontation with the fact that he programmed her with rather more computer skills than she would likely have had. He programmed who she is and he chose to give her a skill set that a doctor wouldn't need just because he wanted to. He also programmed her to hate him and seemed truly disappointed and even a little crushed that she didn't want to see who she really is/was. Why? Why does he care about her and no one else? Why would he made of point of keeping her at a distance? Was it their past? Did he know her real self? Did he recruit her into the Dollhouse in the first place? Is that how he came to be there too? Did he program her with enough computer skills to hack his system (which would have to be a hell of a lot of skills) because he wanted her to find out? Why does she not want to know who she was? So many whys, so few answers. Of all the crazy that happened in the finale, that interaction is the one the truly stayed with me and has me lamenting the fact that the show probably won't be back the most. Whiskey's revelation and Topher's emotional progression carried the most intrigue for me and hearing Topher's voice break as he wiped Echo at the end of the episode was perfect.

I'm sure as you're reading this, you're completely incredulous that with all the awesome Alpha stuff and all the crazy Echo everything, that Whiskey is what most caught my attention, but there it is. I think it's that Dr. Saunders is a consistent character. She's been the same imprint since the very beginning, so unlike Echo, I feel like I know her character and I genuinely care about her. Echo is someone new from week to week, and what little I know of Caroline wasn't enough to really endear her too me. That the wedge with Caroline on it was in danger was a concern to me, but more so because it was a concern to others (Ballard and Boyd), rather than a deep, intrinsic fear that her persona would be lost forever. I cared because characters that I care about cared, and in that sense, Echo's peril just didn't resonate with me in the most meaningful way...

That said, as enamored of Whiskey's storyline as I clearly was, Alpha's and Echo's journeys were the real A-plot and were what Whiskey's storyline provided the most backstory for, and I would be remiss not to pay it due attention.

Although the action/thriller/horror aspects to Alpha's story were enthralling and central to the overall season narrative, I found the more cerebral facets to be just as entertaining. I really loved the thought that Alpha's new imprint(s) could be angry and resentful at his true self for allowing himself to be wiped in the first place. That the new imprints would immediately destroy the original wedge really grabbed me. Was it mere resentment that his true self would be so stupid (not knowing, I suppose that he was a prisoner who likely had no choice), or was it some sort of survival instinct? Does each imprint realize that it can be wiped and essentially erased? It gave the whole concept of imprinting a fascinatingly parasitic quality that really struck me. It's a dynamic between characters that I've never really experienced before, and that's something special, something unique. I particularly enjoyed that Alpha clarified that it's not multiple personalities, it's multiple people (even though one of his people has multiple personalities--heh). I've seen multiple personality disorder before, where one personality is aware of all the others, but to see dozens of personalities all at once, and manifested in this way, was a very different and much appreciated experience. That dozens of individual, sentient beings (essentially) were governing Alpha's decisions led to a wide range of actions and reactions, motives and agendas, desires, fears, and vendettas that were wonderful to see played out.

I have to admit though, my conception of what the "composite event" that he experienced was far different that what I had expected. I had always assumed that his past imprints were somehow reactivated in his brain, as though they were never truly wiped from the mainframe. The actual composite event was much different, although the fact that his true self manifesting formed the basis for the event was spot on.

With a show like this, it's always difficult to know where you stand and what limits have been imposed. Unlike past Whedon productions where the rules are often explained in length (thank you, Giles, Wesley, Fred, etc...), the Dollhouse universe seemed to have a more empirical construction, and that made it all the harder to keep track of, but all the more rewarding to see it played out. Episode to episode, I had (and still have) numerous questions about the science of it all. Phlebotinum showed up in my explanations with astounding frequency, but I was willing to go with it. There are still issues that I find irksome (like how exactly did they get this giant catalog of personas? and how is it that a conscious, sentient being is extracted, not just their memories?), but I was willing to let those go by the wayside for the sake of the story. With Dollhouse, we mostly know what is possible because we've seen it in other characters. It's a sneaky way to construct the rules of your universe (especially when your universe isn't overtly furturistic or fantasy), but it allows for less exposition and a more natural learning process for the audience, which I appreciate.

With Buffy, a hell of a lot of things were explained and defined upfront and then episode to episode, as needed. Dollhouse had its fair share of exposition, but the most meaningful information was empirically proven or denied. Which brings me back to Alpha and Echo. The flashbacks of Alpha first seeing Echo and becoming inexplicably drawn to her, in a way that neither he, nor the Dollhouse, would have expected or understood, is entirely possible and believable because of Victor and Sierra. What may have seemed like a minor love-story subplot actually formed the basis for the entire narrative. The audience knows that this is possible and how it can manifest because they've seen it in others. That Alpha's true self was able to shine through is understandable and possible because we've seen it in Echo. That Dr. Saunders could be a doll and not even know it is possible in the same way. That the current persona could be cognizant enough to want to keep the body it's in is a reality because of the episode with Adelle's friend who died. Even something as seemingly meaningless and innocuous as the actives being programmed to want to be their best while in the doll state turned out to be absolutely pivotal. Take that fundamental wish, combine it when Alpha's obsession with Echo and his true psychopathic self shining through and Whiskey gets disfigured so that Echo can "be her best." The rules and parameters of this universe are neither clear nor finite, but they exist because we've learned them the way any newcomer would learn--observation, trial, and error. It makes the questions that arise week to week much more perplexing to answer, but that's part of the fun. Echo's journey over the course of the season has been almost as murky to viewers as it has been to Echo, Paul Ballard, Topher, Adelle, Boyd, and everyone else.

Essentially, the viewer had the same perspective as Ballard. Like the audience, he didn't know how the universe operated and had to piece things together based on observation, trial, and error. That he became so consumed with Caroline is largely because she represented a huge unknown. It's a big part of why the viewer cared about her too. She was the key to understanding the Dollhouse, so in spite of her new personality each week, she was the key to something much more fascinating. It's for this reason that I was less concerned with Echo's (and Caroline's) fate than with Alpha's, Dr. Saunders', Topher's, and Ballard's. At the end of the day, she's still just a piece of something much much bigger. And as counter-intuitive as it feels to discount the lead character in such a way, that's where I ended up, and I think it's where Ballard ended up to large degree as well.

I may not have seen the Whiskey reveal coming, but I did see predict that Ballard had selected November to be the doll released, not Echo. Aside from Echo kind of being important to the show and all, Ballard's fantasy is essentially over. He rescued Caroline, though he did so in a way that was far less glamorous than he ever could have imagined. Unlike the Sleeping Beauty fantasy he had constructed for himself where he'd storm the castle gates and rescue the blushing damsel, saving Caroline boiled down to catching a computer chip before it hit the ground. Caroline represented the unknown, the key to something much more intriguing than any one person could be, and now that Ballard has broken into that universe, Echo/Caroline is much less of a mystery and much less of a fantasy. He had only had an emotional connection with her in his mind, whereas November was a real flesh-and-blood person. A person he knew was a doll, but took advantage of her anyway. That's why he picked her. He was still wracked with guilt over his past actions with her and saw this as the only way. But, in a sense, he managed to have his cake and eat it too. In essence, he gave up what little was left of his fantasy of Caroline by choosing November instead, but he also got to keep his fantasy locked away in her little pod. What if Caroline wasn't all he had envisioned? What if it all ended with her walking out the door? At this point, Ballard is wholy and entirely invested in the Dollhouse and Echo/Caroline, and I don't think he wanted to give that up.

In this respect, the show threw me for a bit of a loop. Going in I expected to be completely invested in Echo and to see Echo's true self and her past imprints manifest over time, but at the end season, I found that I was much more invested in everyone else on the show. Echo proved to be merely a device for all the other characters to be presented. Her story was central and intriguing, but having a new personality each week began to wear on me. I found myself wishing she remembered what happened last time and focusing more on characters who did remember. Even the other dolls turned out to be more primary in my focus, particularly with Whiskey being revealed. For me, Echo was more of a gateway than anything else, and although she's beginning to remember who Caroline was, I'm not yet invested enough in Caroline to make her my primary concern. As the finale drew to a close and Echo whispered her real name, I was thoroughly bummed out that I'll probably never get to see Caroline truly find a place in my heart (as the show likely won't be back next season). I'm not sure why the other dolls grabbed me more than Echo, but I would have liked her to have had another season for her to become more sentient, more detailed, and ultimately more essential as an individual, not just a cog in a terrible wheel.

There are so many things I would have loved to have seen in second season. That Alpha is still out there is fundamental to the overarching story, but it's the shifting relationships within the dollhouse that I would most liked to have seen fleshed out. That Ballard has taken a position with the enemy, that Topher has a heart, that Dr. Saunders is a doll, that Boyd has questioned his allegiances, and that the entire organism has been tested ethically, procedurally, and technologically are all pivotal dynamics that I'd like to see more of. But, as mentioned previously, it's looking pretty grim. The ratings just aren't there and I don't see Fox taking a chance on anything that isn't a safe bet. The show started off a little uneasily, but really did find its stride and turned into a first tier show all the way.

All the half-naked Helo didn't hurt either...

I'll miss you, Dollhouse. I'll hold out for a miracle, but I won't be holding my breath. At least Castle's chances are looking better and better, right?

NBC can officially (and unofficially) bite me.

So yeah, May is upfront season. It's generally pretty straight forward, but apparently NBC is trying to buck the system by being completely useless. Way to sock it to 'em, morons!

NBC used to be quite the powerhouse network. Back in the days when Friends and ER were dominating the airwaves, NBC was always a major contender. Well, in the past few years, as NBC's programming has gotten progressively crappier and reality dreck like American Idol and Dancing with the Stars have kind of taken over, NBC's overall ratings have been slipping pretty consistently to the point where struggles night in and night out.

Well, in a bizarre attempt to shake things up, NBC has decided to overhaul its upfront procedures. Last year they announced their line-up earlier than the other networks and offered up some truly strange programming at some rather perplexing times of year. Well, their attempts at setting themselves apart from the other nets didn't work out so well for them. In spite of last year's failure, they once again announced their upfronts, or as they're lovingly called by insiders, their "infronts," early once again. Only this time, they didn't actually disclose anything that was particularly useful! You know, like the fates of all of their bubble shows! Seriously NBC, WTF?!

Yeah, they unveiled a whole bunch of crap, but the information viewers actually want, the fates of shows like Chuck, Law & Order, Life, and My Name is Earl were left undetermined. [[This just in, Life has been cancelled. Bah! Stupid network!]] Word on the street says that they will likely not disclose pick-ups or cancellations of these shows for another couple of weeks (i.e. not until all the other networks have their upfronts starting on the 18th). So what exactly was the point of having their upfronts early? Oh, wait, there was no point. I can see where they are trying to set themselves apart so that their new shows don't get overshadowed by the other networks, but this is bad PR through and through. The fans are pissed, the critics are annoyed, and NBC is left looking fairly ridiculous.

Here's what we do know:

• Southland was picked up for 13 episodes
• Medium was picked up for 13-16 episodes
• Heroes was picked up for (I believe) 18 episodes (although it should have been cancelled as far as I'm concerned).
• And The Office and Parks and Recreation were picked up as well (I have to admit, Parks and Rec isn't really doing it for me... It's funny, but the base concept is lacking. I already don't really care about the park and it looks like that's going to be the main focus until the end of time...)
• Other shows were picked up as well (you know, like their reality crap), but I'm mainly posting the stuff that people would actually be worried about...
• We won't learn the official fates of Chuck, Law & Order, Life, and My Name is Earl won't be announced until probably May 19th, but at this point, Law & Order and Chuck are looking pretty safe (yay for Chuck!)
• As mentioned above, Life has been officially cancelled. While the second season was a little shaky, it was a really good show and definitely a hell of a lot better than most of the new crap they'll be unveiling (see below for the disappointing details... yikes).

Aside from the pick-ups of returning shows, NBC also announced several new series that will be premiering in the fall. Don't get too excited yet, most of them sound utterly craptastic... Below are the official descriptions and then my initial assessments of them.

**First up, the dramas**

PARENTHOOD
From the executive producers of the box-office hit "Parenthood" -- Ron Howard and Brian Grazer (Oscar winners for "A Beautiful Mind"), and writer/executive producer Jason Katims ("Friday Night Lights") -- this contemporary re-imagining of the blockbuster film depicts the colorful and imperfect Braverman family -- four grown siblings sharing the headaches, heartaches and joy of being parents. The star-studded cast includes Peter Krause, Maura Tierney, Craig T. Nelson, Dax Shepard, Bonnie Bedelia, Monica Potter, Erika Christensen and Sarah Ramos. When Sarah Braverman (Tierney, "ER"), a financially strapped single mother, returns home to her parents and siblings in Berkeley, Calif. after packing up her Fresno apartment and uprooting her two inconvenienced kids, Amber (Mae Whitman, "In Treatment") and Drew (Miles Heizer, "ER"), she is greeted by her opinionated father, Zeek (Nelson, "Family Stone," "Coach"), and strong mother, Camille (Bedelia, "Heart Like a Wheel"), who are privately dealing with their own marital issues. As Sarah is reunited with her siblings -- sister, Julia (Christensen, "Traffic"), and brothers Crosby (Shepard, "Baby Mama") and Adam (Krause, "Six Feet Under") -- all struggling with issues of their own, it's clear that the Braverman reunion is just what they need to face the everyday challenges of modern family life. "Parenthood" is a production from Imagine Entertainment and Universal Media Studios. Emmy winner Thomas Schlamme ("The West Wing") directs the pilot.



My take: All right, as anyone who knows me knows, I don't like children. And, I particularly don't like children when they're on TV, because, let's face it, they ruin everything (see Friends, Alias, Angel, etc.). As far as I'm concerned, children don't become viable characters until they're teenagers. There are exceptions, to be sure, but by and large, there are only so many storylines a show can have involving a 6 year old. In spite of such opinions, this show looks very well made and has a truly impressive cast. Peter Krause is excellent in everything, Maura Tierney is great, Mae Whitman has Arrested Development (and Avatar) cred to back her up, and just about everyone else is a known actor with a solid resume. I get the impression that this show will focus more on the adults than the children, so that gives me some hope. Not that I relish hearing about other people's kids on a regular basis, but I think this show has potential. I'll certainly be giving it a shot with the hopes that it doesn't suffer the usual pitfalls of shows that revolve around young kids. Based on the clips, it appears to have a lot more humor and a lot less saccharine than the usual fare, so I'm optimistic.

MERCY
"Mercy," a new medical drama with a unique point of view, portrays the lives of the staff at Mercy Hospital as seen through the eyes of those who know it best -- its nurses. Nurse Veronica Callahan (Taylor Schilling, "Dark Matter") returns to Mercy from a military tour in Iraq -- and she knows more about medicine than all of the residents combined. Together with fellow nurses Sonia Jimenez (Jamie Lee Kirchner, "Rescue Me") and Chloe Payne (Michelle Trachtenberg, "Gossip Girl"), Callahan navigates through the daily traumas and social landmines of life and love both inside the hospital and out in the real world. The cast also includes: James Tupper ("Men in Trees") as Dr. Chris Sands, a new doctor at the hospital who complicates Veronica's life; Diego Klattenhoff ("Supernatural") as Mike Callahan, Veronica's husband; and Guillermo Diaz ("Weeds") as Nurse Angel Lopez. "Mercy" is a production from Universal Media Studios and Berman Braun. Joining writer/executive producers Liz Heldens (NBC's "Friday Night Lights") and Gretchen Berg & Aaron Harberts ("Pushing Daisies," "Pepper Dennis") are executive producers Gail Berman and Lloyd Braun. Emmy Award winner Adam Bernstein (NBC's "30 Rock," "Rescue Me") is the director.



My take: With a name like Mercy, you'd think they'd have some. Oh, lordy. It's your typical medical drama (with a Grey's Anatomy tint), but this time it's totally unique, because this time...wait for it... it's from the point of view of nurses! Huzahh! How innovative! Yeah, not so much. The reason most medical dramas don't focus on the nurses? Because nurses are the ones who change bed pans and give sponge baths. Don't get me wrong, nurses are absolutely essential to all the complicated surgeries and emergencies and no hospital could operate without them (heh, literally), but they also get a lot of the most unpleasant of tasks. I'm guessing this show will be skirting that issue in favor of the main character being a badass who knows more than all the doctors because she served in Iraq... Oy. Talk about a conceit I'm not all that excited about... Oh, and then throw Dawn into the mix. This show looks pretty well made and has a premise that will likely find a sizable audience, but it's your standard medical drama, only with less cool medical and a lot more drama. I'll give it a shot, I'm sure, but so far it's not looking like my cup of tea.

TRAUMA
Executive producer Peter Berg (NBC's "Friday Night Lights") delivers "Trauma," the first high-octane medical drama series to live exclusively in the field where the real action is. Like an adrenaline shot to the heart, "Trauma" is an intense, action-packed look at one of the most dangerous medical professions in the world: first responder paramedics. When emergencies occur, the trauma team from San Francisco General is first on the scene, traveling by land, by sea or by air to reach their victims in time. From the heights of the city's Transamerica Pyramid to the depths of the San Francisco Bay, these heroes must face the most extreme conditions to save lives -- and give meaning to their own existence in the process. Starring in "Trauma" are Derek Luke ("Notorious"), Cliff Curtis ("10,000 B.C"), Anastasia Griffith ("Damages"), Aimee Garcia ("George Lopez"), Kevin Rankin ("Friday Night Lights") and Jamey Sheridan ("Law & Order: Criminal Intent"). "Trauma" is a production of Universal Media Studios and Film 44. Berg, Sarah Aubrey ("Bad Santa," "Friday Night Lights"), Dario Scardapane and Jeffrey Reiner ("Friday Night Lights") serve as executive producers. The pilot was written by Scardapane and directed by Reiner.



My take: Apparently when NBC lost ER, it decided it needed to overcompensate... Here we have yet another medical drama, only this time, it's told from the perspective of, wait for it, the paramedics! I love a good medical drama as much as the next person, but seriously? I think it's time for TV to pick a new career to focus on. Two new medical dramas, both on NBC, and both have badass rebels trach-ing someone in the field--because apparently that's just the coolest thing ever, and when establishing someone as a medical maverick, that's the required way to do it. Or was that first one a pneumothorax? Whatever. It all kind of blurs together after a while. I've seen it all 800 times before. Anyway, this show seems way to serious and self-important for my tastes. Which, don't get me wrong, it's a serious job, but this is a TV show. Oh, and I love how they point out the fact that the characters are stereotypical by boiling them down to "The Father", "The Fighter", and "The Rebel". You know, just in case it wasn't obvious enough. The cast doesn't really jump out at me as anything special and the show appears not to have a light-hearted bone in its body. Again, it looks pretty well made, but I've seen it all before. For a genre show to truly be engaging, it needs to turn the genre on its ear and that can't be achieved merely by changing the show's perspective to a slightly different kind of medical professional. It might be an awesome show, but unless it has something special, it's only going to bore people who've seen it all before. Based just on the trailer, it doesn't look it'll have what it takes to suck me in (pretty much your standard storylines and characters, beginning to end), but I'll give it shot I suppose.

DAY ONE
From executive producer/writer Jesse Alexander ("Heroes," "Lost," "Alias") and director Alex Graves ("Fringe," "Journeyman"), "Day One" tells the story of life on earth following a global catastrophe that has devastated the world's infrastructures. Beginning with the immediate aftermath of the cataclysmic event, an eclectic band of survivors -- played by Adam Campbell ("Date Movie"), Catherine Dent ("The Shield"), Julie Gonzalo ("Eli Stone"), David Lyons ("ER"), Derek Mio ("Greek"), Carly Pope ("24"), Thekla Reuten ("Sleeper Cell") and Addison Timlin ("Cashmere Mafia") -- strives to rebuild society as they unravel the mysteries of what happened and face their uncertain future. The group, all residents of one apartment building in suburban Van Nuys, Calif., embarks on a quest for survival and discovers that hope is found in small victories -- and heroes are born every day. "Day One" is a Universal Media Studios production.



My take: Initial thought? Oy. It sounds pretty self-indulgent and overly ambitious. The cast leaves much to be desired... As much as I love watching a bunch of overly attractive 20 somethings (oh, wait, I mean "eclectic band of survivors") trying to survive some horrible something or other, it's been done, and I'm guessing to a much more successful degree. The clip didn't really give me much to base an initial assessment on, but bottom line? I think this concept has been played out too many times before to be original, and Day One doesn't have the bare bones to play it again successfully. I think we'll just have to wait for an actual trailer, but it's all sounding very Lost-y at this point... only crappy.

**Next up, the comedies (or in the case of our first contestant, "comedies")**

100 QUESTIONS (fka "100 Questions for Charlotte Payne")
Emmy winner James Burrows ("Will & Grace," "Friends") directs "100 Questions," a new comedy series written and executive-produced by Christopher Moynihan ("For Your Consideration") that provides hilarious answers to 100 questions about love. Charlotte Payne (Sophie Winkleman, "Peep Show") is looking for love and has rejected multiple marriage proposals -- but she has yet to meet Mr. Right. When she joins a popular online dating site, she gets a little help from her dating counselor Ravi (Amir Talai, "The Ex List") – who requires her to take a 100-question compatibility test. The questions aren't easy for Charlotte to answer, and each one requires her to recount a poignant and humorous time in her life with friends Leslie (Elizabeth Ho, "Women's Murder Club"), Jill (Joy Suprano, NBC's "Law & Order"), Mike (Christopher Moynihan "For Your Consideration") and Wayne (David Walton "Quarterlife"). The test becomes a journey of self-discovery for Charlotte who begins to realize what she truly wants in a relationship. Ron West ("Psych"), Kelly Kulchak ("Psych") and Michelle Nader ("King of Queens") join Moynihan as executive producers. The series is produced by Universal Media Studios and Tagline.



My take: Bad. I mean, really bad. The laugh track alone was enough to annoy me, but for decent comedies, I'm willing to overlook that (see How I Met Your Mother). For comedies with a bunch of no-talent no-names, however, it's unbelievably obnoxious. It makes the fact that it's not funny all the un-funnier because it reminds the audience of how funny it's supposed to be, but isn't. The premise is flimsy and hackneyed at best. It's as though the writers were trying to come up with something clever, but instead just borrowed pieces from other sit-coms and hoped it would turn into something awesome. It did not. The female lead is unengaging and doesn't strike me as able to carry a series. Her friends are all standard stereotypical sit-com cardboard cutouts, only not so good. The requisite good-looking ladies man is only okay-ish looking and doesn't have the charm to compensate. The other friends are pretty standard and at least seem capable of filling their meager roles, but that's not saying much. Bottom line, I'm less than enthused and won't be giving this one much of a chance. I realize that was only the trailer and a show can't truly be judged on a few clips alone, but the trailer is where shows generally put their best material, hoping to gain viewers, so if those were the good clips, I don't want to see the bad ones. Yikes. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.

COMMUNITY
From Emmy Award-winning directors Joe and Anthony Russo ("Arrested Development") comes "Community," a smart comedy series about higher education -- and lower expectations. The student body at Greendale Community College is made up of high-school losers, newly divorced housewives, and old people who want to keep their minds active. Within these not-so-hallowed halls, "Community" focuses on a band of misfits, at the center of which is a fast-talkin' lawyer whose degree has been revoked (Joel McHale, "The Soup"), who form a study group and end up learning a lot more about themselves than they do about their course work. In addition to McHale, the series also stars: Gillian Jacobs ("The Book of Daniel"); Yvette Nicole Brown ("Rules of Engagement"); Danny Pudi ("Greek"); Alison Brie ("Mad Men"); and comedy legend Chevy Chase ("Saturday Night Live"). "Community" is a Krasnoff Foster Entertainment, Harmonious Claptrap and Russo Brothers production in association with Sony Pictures Television and Universal Media Studios. Russ Krasnoff ("The Soloist"), Dan Harmon ("The Sarah Silverman Program"), Joe Russo ("Arrested Development"), Anthony Russo ("Arrested Development") and Gary Foster ("The Soloist") serve as executive producers. Joe and Anthony Russo directed the pilot that was written by Dan Harmon.



My take: From the cast list, I already had a lot more hope for this show than the other comedy offered up by NBC, and thankfully, such hopes were rewarded. :) This show looks kinda, sorta, really awesome! I love Joel McHale (The Soup has a permanent spot on my DVR list) and John Oliver is always hilarious (The Daily Show also has a permanent spot). The rest of the cast is really funny as well. A lot of the supporting players are the kind of actors who look familiar, but can't quite place (aside from Chevy Chase, whose status gained a few points with his recent guest stint on Chuck). The premise looks to have a lot of potential for great storylines, so if this show finds an audience (and I sincerely hope it does), I can see where it would have sustainable longevity. In short, the trailer really cracked me up, which, for a show I knew nothing about previously is a pretty tall order. I guess I can't be too surprised given the people involved, but it's just not all that often that a comedy comes along that doesn't suck. ;)