Showing posts with label Justified. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Justified. Show all posts

Monday, December 19, 2011

My Top 10 TV Shows of 2011

I'm really hoping that with the new year, my zest for, well, anything really, will return, but until then, this blog is going to be pretty sparse. It's not that there isn't plenty to talk about TV wise (the fact that Once Upon a Time just killed off one of the few characters I liked is currently irking me and the fate of Boardwalk Empire sans Jimmy looms large), but I just can't seem to care enough to type. Venting to the kiddies at work is my current outlet. I highly recommend everyone get their coworkers hooked on all the same shows.

Anyhow, in spite of my apathy, I couldn't not put together a top 10 list of the best television programs of the year, and then some significantly pettier, dorkier lists as well. Without further ado, and in no particular order...

MY TOP 10 SHOWS OF 2011

JUSTIFIED
My love for this show knows no bounds, and the fact that it's been rather conspicuously absent from my schedule since March is kind of maddening. That said, the show is finally starting up in about a month and I can't wait. FX has been re-airing the first season and even though I've already seen it at least twice, I couldn't help but watch again. What's more, it didn't even occur to me to fast-forward through the boring or annoying parts because, well, there aren't any. It's not a crazy, fast-paced, explosion a minute kind of show or anything, but I find that I'm simply riveted from beginning to end. While season 1 was fantastic, season 2 brought something even more amazing to the table: Mags Bennet. When you have a cast of characters that includes the likes of the Crowder clan, it's hard to imagine someone stealing the spotlight, but Margo Martindale was electrifying. My one quibble with the show in general is that female characters tend to play the damsel, but the addition of Mags (and Loretta for that matter), balanced the scales in all the best ways. Oh sure, we started the "Oh, for hell's sakes, Winona!" drinking game during her tenure as the dithering damsel with sticky fingers, Mags was there to temper the gender gap. She was layered and warm and terrifying and ruthless and caring, oftentimes all at once. I'm incredibly sad that Mags won't be back for season 3, and her loss, coupled with the loss of Helen and Loretta, the other tremendous female characters on the show, means that we're left with Winona and Ava. If any show has the power to turn them into more than moronic damsels and fluttering love interests, it's Justified, but their treatment of these two thus far gives me pause... That said, the promos have Raylan and Boyd seemingly teaming up, so there's only so much I can worry about.

BREAKING BAD
Once upon a time, when television aficionados would herald the greatness of the medium or defend it against the slings and arrows of critics defaming it as pulp, they would call on The Wire to justify their cause. Now they call on Breaking Bad. This show is just so, so good. This is one of the few shows that I've actually addressed in fair measure lately, so I'll keep this short. Maybe. While it's been a powerhouse of awesome and artistry since day one, I think this most recent season might have been their best yet. The brilliance with which the writers balanced so many different factions, agendas, mental and emotional priorities, political concerns, and kingpins is nothing short of amazing. At any given time, I found myself pulling for someone different, condemning characters I once loved, and exalting the baddest of the bad. Then it would all change in the coming week. The best part of all is that these shifts in my loyalties were not based on the most ostentatious or sensational of events. By contrast, with Breaking Bad, it's the quiet moments that shed the most light and send me reeling. Which isn't to say that the show is lacking in big, insane, WTF moments or anything. There are certainly plenty of those. It's just that with Breaking Bad, a scene with a few guys sitting around a table talking (or a scene with no talking at all) is just as gripping and terrifying as the deadliest shootout, the biggest explosion, or a mass poisoning. This season saw the end of Tio Salamanca (ding! ding! ding!) and Gus Fring, two irreplaceable powerhouses, but I have every confidence that next season will see the introduction of even fiercer, quirkier baddies. In a lot of ways, I think the season 4 finale could have served well as the series finale, but I'm sure glad it wasn't.

REVENGE
Going into every fall pilot season, I have shows that I'm excited about, shows that I know I'll hate, and shows that I'm willing to give a shot, but fully suspect I'll drop them in a couple of weeks. Revenge definitely fell into the third category. Little did I know it would quickly turn into the sudsiest, juiciest, most delectably addictive soap opera to hit TV in years. The first few episodes had me a little worried that I was headed for a revenge procedural, with Emily dispatching of one of her father's foes each week, all wrapped up in a nice little bow. Much to my delight, those early episodes were only setting up the tangle web to come. This show is a soap opera, which is generally used in the pejorative, but there's not guilt in this pleasure. With any genre, there are going to be good ones and bad ones. For genres like "chick flick", "rom com", "soap opera", and "crime procedural", the bad so often outnumber the good that the genre as a whole gets a bad wrap. Well, Revenge may be a soap, but it's a bloody good one. The story-telling is lightning fast, but there's also a long con that sweeps maliciously from episode to episode, tying things tighter and raising the stakes. The characters are surprisingly layered and complex, giving the writers plenty of room to explore not just the outlandish soapy plot elements, but the more intriguing character elements as well. The cast in general is very strong, but my heart belongs to Nolan (which, given my propensity for siding with the smart, snarky game-changer should come as no surprise). Revenge is truly a watercooler show, even in an age when everyone seems to watch shows at different times. With Revenge, you simply can't afford to risk missing it or you'll be subject to 45 minutes of heated discussion without you. I'm not sure where the show is headed in the long run (although I hear a move to New York is in store for season 2), but I'm definitely along for the ride.

BEING HUMAN (UK)
Although the US version tries desperately to keep pace with it's British predecessor, it's an incredibly high bar that it will never surpass. The most recent season of the British version ended many months ago, but it was still one of the first shows to come to mind when compiling this list. Being Human, on paper, has one of the most absurd, campy, tween concepts in town. And yet, the writers brilliantly explore the human condition through werewolves, ghosts, and vampires. Indeed, by looking at what humans are when they aren't human at all, it sheds light on humanity as a whole. This most recent season was brutal and beautiful and heartbreaking. The writers had a plan from day one, plotted and executed it perfectly, and ended right where they should have, even if that was the most devastating place possible. It's months later and I still can't believe Mitchell is truly gone. As the season began, and it was foretold that he would be killed by a werewolf, fans couldn't help but wonder if that werewolf would be George. Against all inclinations to the contrary, as the season concluded, it only made sense that George would end Mitchell's life. It had to be done, I knew it had to be done, but it was devastating for all involved. No matter what Mitchell had done, no matter in how many ways his inhumanity wreaked havoc, he wanted so desperately to be a good person, but it just never happened. Until the bitter end. The wolf-shaped bullet ending his life was, in its own way, the most human thing to have happened. I honestly don't know where the show will go without his handsome mug, but even if it falls apart, I can always remember last season as being something truly special. The US version can try and try all it likes to match the darkness, the brutality, the hilarity, and the humanity of its predecessor, but I can't really fault it for falling short.

SUITS
Last year, almost all of USA Network's line-up got a nod in my "Best Of" list, but this year, only their newest show garners a spot. While one-time favorites slumped, fell by the wayside, or decreased in quality, Suits arose as the banner show for the network. I assumed this would be yet another "blue skies" procedural for the network, taking the exact same principles and elements of their other shows and wrapping them in the guise of "lawyer show," I was very pleasantly surprised to find the network's most adult offering to date. It has "lawyer show" elements, of course, but it's more of a serial than I've ever seen on USA, it takes more chances narratively, and it even adopts the standards and practices for foul language that networks FX and AMC have employed for years. The occasional "shit" may not seem like much, but it marks a shift in terms of tone and audience. I recently noticed that Covert Affairs has taken a similar tack, so I'm hopeful that as the network takes more chances, the quality and originality would follow suit. Don't get me wrong, I've always enjoyed the "blue skies" approach taken by the network, but after a few years, it starts to wear on you with its sameness. For various reasons, USA's other options haven't retained their luster, but the sameness is one of the main factors. Burn Notice has played the same hand for the past three seasons, needing a reinvention sooner than later, In Plain Sight got pregnant and ruined the show, Covert Affairs is somehow surprisingly boring, seeming to have lost its narrative thrust, its sense of direction, and its understanding of its own characters, and Psych is... well, it's Psych. If you've seen one episode, you've seen them all. (White Collar is really the only other show on the network that has upped the ante and kept me totally enthralled.) Suits (oh yeah! we're talking about Suits!) bucks the trend of sameness in the best ways possible. It takes the best elements of the network's shows and adds so much more. Suits isn't afraid to have heroes that do bad things, characters that are unlikable, and real tension. All of this is undercut with an incredibly charming bromance, a lot of laughs, and several ongoing storylines to keep the show from stagnating or stalling. In the best surprise of all, they have crafted characters that are layered and intriguing in surprising ways for this network. Indeed, the show's lead, Harvey Spector, isn't particularly likeable on a number of levels, but that's what makes him so special. He's not the kind of character I usually latch onto, but I'm completely enamored. This kind of connection with characters, and the knowledge that they won't always do what you expect them to, makes for a surprising ride where I genuinely don't know what's going to happen every single minute of every episode. It's a lovely change of pace for USA and one that I hope continues. I can't wait for Suits to come back and have spent the downtime re-watching this year's episodes.

GAME OF THRONES
It honestly took me about half of the first season to really get invested in this show, but once I did, I found myself really looking forward to it week-to-week. Even if it weren't my kind of show, the size and scope and scale of the production should garner it a spot on most lists. My initial qualms with the show stemmed from the seeming marginalization of the female characters. Based on the time and setting, it made sense, but that didn't mean they deserved to be afterthoughts. As the season progressed, however, I was very pleased to see the female characters taking center stage and becoming substantive movers and shakers in the narrative. As the season drew to a close, my qualms were fully assuaged. Rumors of storylines to come have also bolstered my confidence. It's not the easiest show to jump into if you haven't read the books, but I think the writers and producers did a nice job of paring down the cast and explaining who was who in a mostly non-oppressive manner. I have always appreciated a show that's willing to kill people off (as long as it makes sense for the story and isn't to the clear detriment of the show... *cough* Once Upon a Time *cough*), and Game of Thrones does not hold back. I had heard that the characters who start off the series are not the ones you end up with in the end, but this didn't truly hit home until Ned was beheaded. That takes balls. As much as I enjoyed Ned, killing him off was true to form and turned the narrative on its head. That's the kind of storytelling that keeps me on my toes and genuinely surprises me. When all bets are off, there's a terrifying sense of the unknown that I absolutely love and dread with equal measure. For someone who watches as much television as I do, it's not easy to quash my expectations, so when a show manages to achieve such a feat, it gets rewarded with a place on this list. Game of Thrones wasn't perfect, but it came close enough. I'd tune in just for Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish alone, but Robb Stark and Jon Snow don't hurt either. Now that the show has it's legs and a better grasp of how to turn this story into a series, I'm very hopeful that season 2 was be even more sensational that season 1. It'll certainly be just as expensive to produce. Wow, HBO knows how to loosen the purse-strings and I can't thank them enough.

COMMUNITY
No top 10 list would be complete without the best comedy on TV. No, not Modern Family. Indeed, while Community continues to push the boundaries and have me rolling in the aisles for new and surprising reasons each week, Modern Family seems to get more and more boring. I used to really enjoy the show, but more and more, I find myself smiling on occasion, and almost never laughing out loud. This is most delightedly not the case with Community. Most shows on TV can be likened to other contemporaries or predecessors, but Community is genuinely unlike any other show. In any given week, the show somehow manages to combine hilarious gags, clever jokes, erudite allusions, and a hell of a lot of heart with a willingness to play with form and narrative unlike any other show. You truly never know what exactly to expect from Community, whether it be a Spaghetti Western, a musical, an homage to an obscure movie, a parody of an entire genre, a more conventional comedy episode with a splash of anime, or anything and everything in between. They play with storytelling in a way that makes me smile every time. All the while, the show maintains its warmth and heart. The show isn't too cool for school, and it embraces it. Indeed, this collection of characters is probably the most endearing family on TV. Other comedies find themselves hitting the same beats again and again, what with comedy being a genre where true character growth and development is difficult to manage, but Community throws out the rulebook, giving it's characters real journeys to follow all the while making me crack up. I'm heartbroken that NBC has shelved the show until who-knows-when. I realize that the ratings are bad, but so are the ratings of every other show on the network. I don't want to live in a world where dreck like Whitney and dumbass shlock like Two and Half Men survive, but Community gets put on hiatus. Oh, America. You make me sad sometimes. I do hope that NBC keeps sucking just long enough for Community to get another season. They're only about a season away from being able to be sold into syndication, so hopefully NBC will take that into consideration. Come back, Community! Come back!!!

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES
The CW doesn't often get a lot of love when it comes to critical acclaim, but more and more, even the hold-outs have had to admit that The Vampire Diaries is one hell of a show. No longer mistakenly thought of as a Twilight rip-off or True Blood lite, The Vampire Diaries has set itself apart as a kickass supernatural thriller. It's storytelling is tight and compelling, giving viewers a thrill-a-minute, tantalizing cliffhangers, and a surprising amount of depth and character advancement. Sure it has its flaws, but ounce for ounce, it's one of the best shows out there. While the last part of season two got a bit muddled with the moonstone and the curse, season 3 has been its best yet. Two of the best aspects of the show are that it's willing to kill off important and beloved characters and if a character doesn't need to be in an episode he/she isn't in it. True Blood could learn a lot from TVD in this regard. TVD blazes through story at a breakneck pace, introducing new characters and killing off others in near equal measure. This keeps the cast from spiraling out of control the way that True Blood has. What's more, the storytelling is tight and interlaced among the characters. While True Blood has about 87 different storylines going at once, half of which have nothing to do with the others, TVD brings everything together in the most tantalizing of possible ways, ending each episode (if not each segment) with a jaw-dropping cliffhanger. There's an insane amount of character history and supernatural mythology that has been doled out over the past two and a half seasons, but somehow the show makes it all work (well, mostly). When Rebekah revealed the history of her family, the origins of werewolves, the original vampires, her brother as a hybrid, the sun and the moon curse, and everything in between, it... actually made a lot of sense! Sure there are certain things that we just kind of ignore, but for the most part, the writers put it altogether in a way that worked. No small feat, that. The show also manages to impart all of that history and mythology in a captivating way. Seriously, where most shows put me to sleep with plot exposition and info dumps, TVD makes those some of their best episodes. Seriously, in a recent episode, the entirety of the actual action that took place was Elena talking to Rebekah while Damon and Stefan hung out. Sounds like a snooze-fest, but it was exciting, revelatory, and fabulous. Best of all? Elena and Stefan, who used to be on the bland and boring side, have become interesting and badass in their own ways. Evil Stefan is even better than I would have guessed and Elena has finally taken some control over her life. Now if we can just kill off Bonnie and Matt, we'll be good to go!

THE GOOD WIFE
This is one show that has received a fair bit of press on this blog (more so than the other deserving entries on this list), but I promise, it's still not enough. That this is one of the best dramas on TV goes against so many factors. The show airs on network TV, said network is CBS of all things, the show features actual adults, it tackles sensitive issues like religion, politics, and money in just about every episode, it's been moved around on the schedule, and it skews older in terms of demographic (for some unknown reason). And yet, it survives. This show is smart and sexy and has more than a few serial elements to it. In a network viewing landscape that has seen the success of one crappy crime procedural after another, The Good Wife bucks the trend. Thank god! Season 2 was absolutely amazing. Seriously, the last 5 or 6 episodes could each have served as the jaw-dropping, gut-wrenching season finale, but they just kept piling on the awesome, episode after episode, culminating in one of the best season finales I've ever seen. So good, in fact, that had the show been unjustly axed after season 2, it could have served as one hell of a send off. Season 3 hasn't quite kept pace with the insanity of the last half of season 2, but it's building slowly and surely. One of the most heartbreaking factors of season 2, Kalinda and Alicia's falling out, reverberates through season 3 in a very real, restrained way. One of the things I've always loved best about the show is that the female characters are allowed to have layers, agendas, and a well-rounded presence on the screen. They're also allowed to be friends. On most shows, women are invariably pitted as sexual rivals. On The Good Wife, as with the real world, women are friends, they support one another, and form complex bonds and relationships with one another. Seeing Kalinda and Alicia, the best of friends, fall apart was devastating, but seeing the slow easing of tensions over season 3 has been incredibly rewarding. This show knows how to hit all the right buttons and it doesn't casually forget about things that have happened before. I'm constantly amazed at how a person, an event, or a piece of information comes back many episodes later like a lightning bolt. This show has an amazing cast, an enviable list of guest stars, and Eli Gold to boot. Alan Cumming is completely magnetic as Eli, but this is so good that even when he's not in an episode, I don't notice until long after the show is done. As with The Vampire Diaries, The Good Wife knows how to economize storytelling. If they don't need a character, they don't have that character. Case closed. (Heh, get it? Case closed? They're lawyers? I'll shut up now.)

SHAMELESS

Any and all US imports of British shows are met with extreme scrutiny and prejudice from this humble TV watcher. The same goes for animated shows being adapted to live action. In general, I simply don't see the point. In most cases, the original is by far the superior and a remake or adaptation seems unnecessary and counter-intuitive. It's with this bias in mind that I'm surprised at how much I grew to love Showtime's US adaptation of Shameless, a raunchy British program that I was honestly not too familiar with. To this day, I've only seen a couple of the episodes of the British series, but to my delight, the US adaptation took the principles of its predecessor, made the show its own, and made it really damn good. It took me a couple of episodes to really invest in the show, finding William H. Macy's character to be more of a hindrance than a celebrity draw, but as the show settled in and found its feet, it managed to craft interesting, complex characters whose interdynamics sucked me right in. At its heart, Shameless is about a family. For all of its dysfunction, and there plenty to go around, at the end of the day, the burdens and traumas they suffer makes them one of the closest knit families on TV. When you're that poor, that desperate, and that downtrodden, all you have is each other. The family simply has to work together just to survive. On a less dire level, I can relate. My family was by no means as bad off as the Gallagher clan, but it was very clear to all of us from a very young age that we don't have the luxury of bickering or fighting or holding petty grudges. We're all in this together, and a lot of the time, that's all we have. In speaking with other people, I'm constantly amazed at how well my family got along, how close we all were (and are), and how willing we are to give relatives money without any expectation of repayment. I always assumed all families were like that when I was a kid, but as it turns out, we were in the minority. Anyhow, with the Gallaghers, this hits home in a number of social, psychological, and financial ways. It was so heartbreaking to watch Fiona, the eldest daughter turned mother, trying to break free of all the responsibility, only to find that she simply couldn't. The last few episodes of the season were tremendous and showed how this kind of close-knit dependence on one another has its wonderful aspects and also its insidious underpinnings. Her siblings want her to go, they know she's paid her dues, but she just can't leave them. What started out as a raunchy dramedy that was trying too hard to be shocking quickly morphed into a searing character piece with the family unit as a whole being the most important single character of all. It's been gone for entirely too long and I can't wait for season 2 to premiere early next year.

**HONORABLE MENTIONS**


Alphas
It's a genre show, but it genuinely managed to put a new spin on an old routine. Most importantly for any genre show, it focused on the characters as much as the storyline, so that helped turn it into quite a quality program by the end of its first season.

The Chicago Code

Gone, but not forgotten. I'm not a huge fan of cop shows, but this one was excellent. It's ratings weren't spectacular, but they were steady and decent. This show really had Fox's once chance at any kind of dramatic critical acclaim, but they opted for poorly crafted CG dinosaurs and a bickering family that just refused to get eaten by them instead. Boo.

Nikita
Season 2 hasn't quite had the same focus or narrative drive as season 1, but this show is still a solid genre show that knows how to craft a spy thriller. Covert Affairs should take notice. This show is 15 times more entertaining and exciting on 1/10th the budget. Where Covert Affairs is so bland this year the background is more interesting than the story, Nikita takes what it has and makes the most of it.

Hell on Wheels
I'm... not entirely sure why I'm enjoying this show so much. Nothing... really... happens. But, I find I get swept up in whatever is happening on screen and I don't seem to mind that over the course of several episodes, we've basically built 10 feet of railroad and... ridden some horses? Whatever the reason, I'm digging it.

Boardwalk Empire
If my list above were a top 11, this would have made the cut. It made last year's list, but their second season took a lot time to really get me enthralled. I got several episodes behind because I just didn't feel very invested anymore, but once I got caught up, I could appreciate that in a number of ways, it was better than ever.

White Collar
Aside from Suits, this is really the only other USA network offering that I'm excited about. This last year the show hit quite a stride, and while there were some casting decisions I still can't believe, on the whole, this is a light, fun caper with enough depth to keep me eagerly anticipating its return next month. And then, of course, there's Matt Bomer, so it may as well be a freeze-frame for 42 minutes and I'd be just as pleased.

Aside from my overall top shows of the year (and well-deserving honorable mentions), there were some other odds and ends and categories that I just had to include in my year-end review as well. Here are some random judgments and dubious distinctions...

Shows that Showed Signs of Recovery Only to Flatline Once Again:
  • Glee
    After the craptastic second season, I had pretty low expectations for season 3. When the season started off and seemed to have gained a slight grasp of continuity and storytelling, I was ready to put this in the Most Improved Show category... Until a few episodes ago when it all got shitty again. Seriously, that Christmas episode was even more painful than usual.

  • How I Met Your Mother
    Started off a bit better than expected, but then Lily and Marshall got pregnant, then Robin got pregnant, or didn't... oh, who the hell cares. It was awful either way.

Worst Hair and/or Clothes:

  • Robin (How I Met Your Mother)
    Apparently barrenness leads to hideous hair and horrible wardrobe choices? That's all I can guess, because why else would they make her look that way?

  • The Entire Cast (Parenthood)
    Okay, maybe not the entire cast, but I think it's safe to say they hit critical mass about 3 characters back. When you hit 80%, is there any real reason to split hairs? (Heh, get it? Oh lord, that pun was almost as bad as Haddie's permed bangs... sorry about that.)

  • Dr. Reid (Criminal Minds)
    Not going to lie, he's the reason I started watching the show. His look and persona were a huge part of the draw. Now he has this unfortunate fuzzy, choppy something or other on his head and it just takes the charm away...

  • Rachel (Glee)
    The storytelling wasn't the only casualty during season 2...

Best Chemistry:
  • Damon and Elena (The Vampire Diaries)
    A lot of real-life couples fall flat on screen, but these two totally sizzle. Seriously, that (fully-clothed) scene where he ran his hand along her ribs was sexier than some of the most explicit sex scenes I've seen.

  • Eli and Kalinda (The Good Wife)
    They may not be sleeping together (that I know of... that would be kind of awesome, actually), but the rapport between Alan Cumming and Archie Panjabi is completely irresistible. Eli's chemistry with just about anyone is giggle-worthy and fabulous, but with Kalinda, he sees a true peer. He doesn't bullshit her the way he does other people and she doesn't try to manipulate him the way should would someone else. The professional courtesy is hilarious and undeniable.

  • Nolan and Tyler (Revenge)
    These two are both so conniving, so manipulative, and so driven that it's hard to know just what to make of them as a pair, but one thing is for sure, their chemistry is sexy as hell. Although Tyler might claim otherwise, I'm guessing they're both about a 3 on the Kinsey scale, so anything goes. Their couple portmanteau is "TyleNol" by the way, which is just about the best I've ever seen.

Speaking of Magnetism on Screen, Here are My Irrational TV Crushes of 2011:
  • Robb Stark (Game of Thrones)
    It took me a while to really connect with the show, but his presence among the cast was never an equivocal one.

  • Jesse Pinkman (Breaking Bad)
    Aaron Paul is such a tremendous actor that yes, I kinda sorta really adore a murderer/drug dealer. I mainly just want to give the guy a hug. He certainly needs one.

  • Harvey Specter (Suits)
    As I mentioned above, I'm a little surprised by this one, but Gabriel Macht is just beautiful and he manages to make a slick, corporate, 1 percenter unbelievably sexy.

  • Johnny Iuzzini (Top Chef: Just Desserts)
    Love him. Aside from being talented, charming, and easy on the eyes, he's a bit of a gay icon and he's totally fine with that (even though he's straight). That wins him a hell of a lot of points in my book. Rather than being threatened by attention from the gay community, he embraces it. WIN.

  • Seymour Birkoff (Nikita)
    I know, I know, of all the beautiful people on that show, I'm in love with the snarky computer nerd. That's just how I roll. Not that Michael or Owen or Ryan or anyone else isn't a winner, but my heart belongs to Birkoff.

  • Nikita (Nikita)
    Okay, it belongs to Birkoff or Nikita. It's a toss-up. Maggie Q is amazing. She simply could not be any more fabulous. Or badass. Or gorgeous. Could I be her when I grow up? Pretty please? Ooh, or Kalinda!

  • Hardison (Leverage)
    It's a mid-level show, to be sure, but Hardison makes it all worth it. He's far and away the best part of the show and certainly the easiest to look at.

  • Mitchell (Being Human UK)
    Goddamn, he's beautiful. Yeah, yeah, he slaughtered a train full of people... Still beautiful. Sometimes, it's what's on the outside that counts.

  • Paulo (The Borgias)
    Okay, I admit his hair is not doing him any favors, but that's what you get when you're cast in a period piece. That said, Luke Pasqualino will always be Freddie to me and that's really all it takes. My darling Freddie (sob). Love him. Unfortunate historically-accurate haircut and all.

  • Nolan (Revenge)
    He may not be the most conventionally attractive guy on the show, but for me, personality, character, and intelligence count for about 80%. Being a 3 on the Kinsey scale certainly doesn't hurt either.

  • Tim Gutterson (Justified)
    His character is pretty much the exact opposite of what I would ever really want, but I just adore him. Seriously, a law enforcement officer with a history in the military? Yikes. And yet, his manner is so appealing and his demeanor so chill, I just can't help myself.

  • Jai Wilcox (Covert Affairs)
    Sure it took me an entire season to stop calling him Mohinder, but that in no way diminishes the pretty. It's a very attractive cast in general (you know, as opposed to all those shows with ugly people), but he takes the cake. Not that he'd be able to eat it, but still. It may be a boring show, but the scenery is nice.

  • Damon (The Vampire Diaries)
    No list of TV crushes would be complete without Damon Salvatore making an entry. It's a plain and simple fact that's beyond reproach or argument.

Well, kiddies, I think that's it for me this year. I'm hoping to be less of a slacker as the new year begins, but I excel at not giving a shit. We'll see. Happy viewing!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Bloody Harlan

A lot of crazy shit went down on last night's season finale of Justified, so I'm going to skip the recap and just jump right into my observations and theories. And there are a lot of them, so buckle up and stay hydrated. ***SPOILER ALERT***


As with The Good Wife, pretty much every episode of this show is finale-worthy, so when the actual finale comes along, it kind of just feels like every other stellar episode of the show. The only difference is that at the end of the finale, I'm left with a sad, empty feeling that only a promo for "next time on" can quell... It's always disheartening when that doesn't happen, but way more so with Justified because it's cable and only comes but once a year. NOOOO, come back!!! If precedent serves, we won't get to see our good friends and fabulous enemies in Harlan again until next March. That's... entirely too long to wait. I was discussing this with Brett this morning though, in our usual Thursday morning episode discussion, and we decided that the long hiatus probably has a lot to do with the quality of the show, so it's well-worth the wait. There are a lot of reasons that cable shows are better than network shows (in general) and the volume is certainly part of that. When a show has to contend with 22 episodes in only 8 or 9 months, there's bound to be some decline in quality. That's just too much content to be produced in too little time. To boot, network shows only get a couple of months off (at the very most) between seasons before they have to go back into production, so it doesn't exactly leave much time for the writers to really craft the direction of the coming year ahead of time. Somehow The Good Wife manages to pull it off, but most network shows seem to be making it up as they go along. With Justified, I have no doubt that the writers had worked out exactly where this season was going from start to finish before they ever started shooting. The consistency and superiority of the writing are testament to this theory.

It's been one hell of a year for Raylan and company and I daresay this season surpassed the first in a number of ways. The Black Pike/Bennett Feud over-arching narrative worked incredibly well on all levels, but none more so than with Margo Martindale. Seriously folks, her every scene seems destined for the Emmy clip reel. I can absolutely see her getting snubbed, but that would be a travesty. I really can't sing her praises enough. Especially nice is that on a show about good ol' boys and good guys chasing bad guys, she provided a female element that wasn't based around being a love interest. Female characters are generally pigeon-holed into a few generic categories: love interest/damsel, mother, frigid/angry/or power-hungry bitch, etc. I think we can all see that Ava and Winona fall into the "love interest" category almost exclusively. Now, Justified has a lot more dimensions than most shows out there, so they aren't simply cardboard cut-out our cliches, but I think it's pretty clear what role they played this season, with Ava in particular. Pretty much her entire story arc was warming up to Boyd and eventually falling in love with him (you know, so that Boyd has a powerful call to arms when she gets shot in the finale). That's one of the roles for female characters that annoys me the most. I call it the "impetus." So often, women aren't there to actually do anything so much as they're there to get hurt or killed or kidnapped as a means of spurring the male characters into action. This trope spans all genres and annoys me almost every time. Even in movies that I love and adore, this trope finds its way in. Sorry for the tangent here, but a quite note on Pixar's Up. Pixar movies are spectacular (with the possible exception of Cars, which, of all the Pixar movies out there, is the the one least deserving of a sequel), but when it comes to female characters, they're almost almost tangential love interests or act as the impetus. When Up began, and we met young, adventurous, clever Ellie, I was so excited to see a female character that I instantly connected with and who wasn't a damsel or a princess. Well, as I would find some 15 minutes later, she turned out to be the impetus instead, which is just as bad. That's right, this female character who takes charge and plays by her own rules dies early on and provides little more than the basic reason for all the male characters to go on an adventure. Don't get me wrong, it's a wonderful movie that I absolutely adored, but that was disappointing on a number of levels. If it didn't so often that female characters are reduced as such, it wouldn't bother me case-to-case, but it's far too prolific to not get under my skin.

It's for this reason, and so many others, that Mags Bennett was such a welcome addition to the show and the television landscape at large. Yes, she's a mother, but she isn't just a mother. The fact that she's a mother is one facet to a well-rounded, developed, and fascinating character. As much as Ava and Winona factor into the overall narrative of the show, they don't have the depth that Mags does. Same goes for Loretta, I suppose. (Caitlyn Dever, who played Loretta, would make for a hell of a Katniss, come to think of it.) Yet another wonderful female character who has a lot more going on than whatever man is in her life. Indeed, with Loretta, her father fills the role of "impetus," which is a trope on its own, but one that was handled in a unique and captivating way. In the penultimate episode, there was only one scene of Loretta at her foster home and I wasn't sure what that was pointing to for the finale. I had a feeling it was letting the audience know that she was still around and still a factor, but it was presented in such a way that it also could have passed as a bookend to her storyline, letting us know that she was okay and that she had moved on. I was very glad to see that the former was the case. After a season of watching Loretta bear the brunt of lies and brutality, it was quite satisfying to see her take charge and stand up to those who tell her "only so much as they see fit." Unlike most shows, I honestly didn't know how the scene between Loretta and Mags would play out and I was actually pretty surprised that she shot Mags. For her sake, I was glad Raylan talked her down, but with this show, I could absolutely see Loretta pulling the trigger for good. “Ask yourself what your daddy would want you to do.” “I want him to be here to tell me.” Wow.

Although Loretta didn't physically kill Mags, I do think she was one of the last nails in the coffin. Mags had adored that little girl and was ultimately held at gunpoint by her. That's gotta hurt. Add to that the fact that Doyle was dead and that Mags had just confessed to murdering Loretta's father and I wasn't surprised that Mags killed herself. My brother instantly assumed that she had poisoned Raylan, but I instantly assumed she's poisoned herself. The writers and actors played it off incredibly well, though. I assumed Mags, but then vacillated back and forth a couple of times before Mags finally went off to meet Doyle and Coover in that big Whoop-de-doo in the sky. It made for a chilling bookend to the season, bringing things full circle with a deadly glass of Apple Pie Moonshine. I love that Mags has two cupboards of glasses on hand. Hehe, here is where she keeps the "guest" glasses and here is where she keeps the "guests who've overstayed their welcome" glasses. You never know when you're going to need to poison someone, you know? So awesome. I had to think long and hard as to whether suicide was what Mags really would have done. On the one hand, she's a tough old broad who I could see fighting to the bitter end, but ultimately, I think this season established her as a woman who lives by her own rules, so it makes sense that she'd die on her own terms. With her sons dead (well, except Dickie, but that's a whole other story), her empire collapsing, the town turned against her, Loretta ready to kill her, and a prison sentence for murder in her future, I think suicide was the only way for her to retain control. In a season that was stolen by Margo Martindale, it only makes sense that the show end on Mags' last breaths. “Put an end to my troubles. Get to see my boys again. Get to know the mystery.” A powerful end to a powerful performance. Bravo.

She was far from the only death, though. Bloody Harlan, indeed. I knew the parlay between Boyd and Mags wasn't going to be smooth (how much did you love it when the kindly pastor collected all the weapons?), but the multi-front bloodbath between the two clans was beyond even what I expected. While the major players this season have long pretended that they're about making deals and promises, at this point in the game, both sides know that all bets are off and have prepared accordingly. It's a little shocking to me that Dickie, of all people, is the Bennett to have survived all this. Not only does he have a crippled leg, but he's done more to piss certain people off than even Mags had. Shooting Helen damn near got him executed in a forest, but he thought it was a good idea to shoot Ava for good measure? Uh, you mean Boyd Crowder's girlfriend, Ava? I'm sorry, does anyone think that's a good idea? Yeah, I didn't think so. Oh, Dickie. If you're back next season, and I hope to hell you are, you're in for a crazy ride, because you see, not only does law enforcement have it out for you, but Boyd Crowder was denied his revenge, so... yeah... that's gonna end well.

Okay, that scene where Dickie had Raylan strung up like a pinata was completely awesome. Again, not only does it tie into the mythology of these characters perfectly, but it fits into the overall narrative in a specific and important way. Under other circumstances, it might come across as incredibly convenient that Boyd just happened to show up to save the day, but the show set this situation up in such a way that it makes perfect sense. When Boyd wants you dead, you're gonna get dead. Unless Raylan steps in, of course. Hehe, I loved when Dickie was begging Raylan not to leave him alone with Boyd. Ha! You know Boyd is insane and scary as hell when Dickie would rather take his chances with Raylan, the man who nearly executed him in a forest not three days ago, than go toe-to-toe with Boyd. It was also nice to see that Raylan, a bona fide lawman who's foiled Boyd's plans on any number of occasions was like, "You have fun with Boyd, Dickie. I'm out. Hope he kills you real good." Jeremy Davies does an amazing job as Dickie, as always, but the lightning-fast turn in his demeanor for high-and-mighty torturer to pathetic, whimpering coward begging for his life was truly a sight to see. It'll be interesting to see how things play out next season between Boyd and Raylan even if Dickie doesn't come back next year. Raylan kind of ruined Boyd's revenge plot, albeit with a good reason, and I don't think Boyd is the kind of guy to just let that slide. I'm guessing that next season will depend on whether or not Jeremy Davies can come back to the show. If he can't, I'm guessing Dickie will "go to prison" for the foreseeable future, but I'm hopeful that he'll at least be back for the third season premier to tie things up even if he can't be in the whole season.

The finale did a very nice job of tying up some major plotlines, but leaving other things up in the air. Knowing that it won't be back for forever and a day makes the loose ends a little more irksome to endure, but I think they struck a nice balance. We leave off with Ava bleeding to death on a couch, although with Boyd calling the shots, I think that doctor from the free clinic will perform a miracle whether he currently possesses such powers or not. "You fix her like your life depends on it, because it surely does." Awesome. I think it's safe to assume that Ava will live, as will the chip on Boyd's shoulder. Her coming out of the cellar was consistent with her character and all, but it certainly elicited an, "Oh, for hell's sake," which is phrase usually reserved for Winona. I really loved the progression of Boyd's and Ava's relationship over the season. The fact that that's essentially the only thing Ava got to do would have been far more off-putting if it hadn't been done so well. Her growing affection for Boyd also signaled a change in her priorities and her stance on criminal activity. She has always been smack-dab in the middle of shady activity, but it was her love for Boyd that made her really accept it. Boyd has been super-protective of Ava since back to season one and to see that really manifest itself in this finale was really lovely to see. His sheer panic at her injury was a very un-Boydlike reaction and drove home the fact that she's everything to him. Even in the face of his own grisly death, Boyd is usually cool as a Kentucky creek, but when Ava's on the gurney, he freaks out and nearly shoots one of his guys. Very nicely played.

The other major loose end is Raylan's fate in Kentucky (both in terms of the marshal service and in terms of Winona). Oh, for hell's sake, Winona, you had to go and get pregnant, didn't you? I'm generally put-off by pregnancy storylines because I am rather firm in my opinion that babies ruin everything, but in terms of this show, I actually think the twist works, if for no other reason than the fact that the physiological affects of pregnancy might help to explain why Winona has been so off-balance and erratic this season. Along with that, it was actually pretty charming to see just how happy Raylan was with the pregnancy, which it's clear really is the "best news [he's] gotten in... ever." Once again, I fully believe that that writers knew about this pregnancy before they even started filming this season. They began setting this up as far back as the second or third episode of the season with that pregnant prison inmate, and have laid the groundwork for it ever since. That's one of the reasons it doesn't bother me. It didn't come across as a ridiculous ploy to shake things up or like the writers just threw it in for a shock, it felt organic to the story. It also makes Winona's reaction to Raylan running off toward certain death (again) all the more understandable. The reason their marriage didn't work the first time was largely due to Raylan's work. I've never been married nor have I ever had a family member with a deadly job, but I imagine it's incredibly frightening and stressful to never know if your loved one will be coming home alive every day. It makes Winona's uncertainty as to whether or not she can do this again, especially with a baby on the way, all the more reasonable, which isn't a word I've been able to apply to her much this year. It also sets up a scenario for Raylan to have a reason to stay in Kentucky. He can't got to Glynco and teach firearms and have the series continue the way it has, so it only makes sense that he stays in Kentucky. Unless the writers have a fundamental game-change in the works, he'll be staying. A separation from Winona would facilitate that possibility.

Another factor which may influence Raylan's choice to stay in Kentucky is the fact that Art and the marshals saved the day. Winona hasn't done much right this season, but going to Art and convincing him to haul the entire cavalry to Harlan to save Raylan wins her back quite a few points in my book. Art and Raylan have been at odds because of Winona, so it's make good narrative sense that she'd be the one to bring them back together. Art had no legal or personal obligation to go to Harlan, but at the end of the day, I think Art's paternalistic feelings toward Raylan won out. Again, it could have been seen as a bit convenient that the entire marshal service just happened to roll up the minute Raylan was about to be killed, but the writers established that this was a possibility, so it plays out nicely. They also established a red herring, however, that I totally fell for. By having Boyd make a deal with that policeman early on, it made it hard to be sure who had shot Doyle and whether or not Raylan was actually going to be safe or if this was just one more body for the heap. It took me a split-second to process, but in looking at the incredible precision of the shot through Doyle's forehead, I quickly switched from, "Was is that dirty cop from earlier?" to "Why, that looks like the work of one Deputy US Marshal Tim Gutterson!" Indeed, my only true laments for this finale (and the season as a whole) is that the marshal service didn't get more screen time. Hell, Rachel and Tim didn't even get speaking parts in the finale. If nothing else good comes of Winona's sticky fingers, it gave the show a reason to spend time at the marshals' office, when by all logic, they should otherwise have been in Harlan. Say what you will about the Winona money theft storyline, but it was the writers' way of keeping the marshals at the core of the show. Without that storyline, there really wouldn't have been much reason for them to have been in the show this year. You'll notice, after that storyline wrapped up, we saw a hell of a lot less of them, so in terms of my crush on Tim Gutterson, I have to give Winona's stupidity a few points in the plus column.

Overall, I have some mixed feelings about the finale. In general, a finale should up the show's game and go out in superior fashion, but with Justified, every single episode is stellar, so how do you really improve on that for the big finish? You can't really, so the finale feels a whole lot like every other episode. That said, they did tie up a lot of story and open the doors for more. It was an incredible end to a near-perfect season. I laughed, I cried (that's right, Raylan, your little speech about Helen when you were about to kill Dickie had me tearing up), and I couldn't possibly ask for anything more. Except for maybe more episodes... but that's ground we've already covered. Until next year, my darling kickass show.

Well done. Er...

Nice shootin'?

Yeah, that's better.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Week-In-Review 4.3

Still sick as a dog, but here we are. To add insult to injury, the CW kinda sorta really sucks at their job. Seriously, you guys have one thing to do and you just can't seem to do it. Pathetic.

TV Cross-Connection of the Week
: Grandma Florrick on The Good Wife was Grams on Dawson’s Creek

Given that she's basically playing the exact same character, I really should have realized it sooner, but no.

Best Impression
:
Jon Stewart as Glenn Beck
Jon Stewart is my hero. Period.

Worst Way to Go: Cheese Cutter Garrote on The Borgias… or was it the half-assed poison?
Upon reflection, regarding the cheese wire decapitation of the guard, even Ceseare was like, “Yeah, let’s not do that anymore… Oh no, keep killing people, just not like that.” Although the poisoning didn’t exactly go according to plan, what with the writhing in agony for hours and ultimately having to be smothered with a pillow. (In case you missed it, this show isn’t exactly a huge fan of subtlety. Or people living very long.)

Biggest Whiners
: The Chicago Code
In general, I would sympathize with those suffering from a heat wave, but as I gaze out my window at the snow falling, my only thought is: Heat wave? Yes, please.

Most Believable Copping
: Theresa on The Chicago Code
So often with cop shows, when it comes to actual policing, the actors are either over the top or totally unconvincing. But when Theresa Colvin tells you to put the gun down, you put the gun down. Nice job, you maniac, you.

Cartooniest Progression
: Barney on HIMYM… or was it Lily?

Sigh. This season of HIMYM has been a hell of a lot better than last, but the characters are quickly becoming caricatures. That ridiculous and irritating storyline with Barney and the meatball sub was just lame. This season, it seems that Barney is either a total cartoon or is brooding over emotional baggage. That’s a fine line to walk and it’s not really working. What’s worse, he’s not the only one. What the hell happened to Lily? I used to adore her, but now? I’m with TVWithoutPity on this one, “Lily was once a likable, semi-rational character on #HIMYM, wasn't she? It's been so long, it's hard to remember.” I think the show’s next set of flashbacks should be back to seasons 1 and 2 when I actually liked these people.

Most Disappointing Season Finale
: Being Human US

A lackluster end to a meh season. The show kept having glimmers of potential, but very few were realized. Maybe if I hadn’t seen the UK version I’d have been more enamored of this one, but at every turn, I couldn’t help but to think of how the UK version handled a storyline in invariably better ways. The US version just feels like one missed opportunity after another. The pilot was quite promising, but it ultimately let me down.

Best Season Finale
: Being Human UK
Okay, given that the US and UK versions of Being Human were the only finales this week, the bar was set pretty low, but even if it were stacked up against an entire slate of finales, the UK version would hold its own. Wow. US version, take a lesson.

Worst Parenting
: Basically the entire cast of Parenthood

I keep trying to not hate this show, because it does have its good points, but overall, it’s just irritating as hell. If I had grown up with any of these people as my parents, I’d have made a run for it at age 6. Each member of the cast is more ridiculous than the last and the level of cheese they’re injecting into every episode would put those Cheez-It commercials to shame.

Biggest Heartbreaker
: Alicia on The Good Wife

The ramifications of Kalinda’s affair with Peter have already been theorized on this blog, and even though I knew it was coming, it was still tough to watch. The writers of this show are so, so good. Just as Alicia puts the pieces together and realizes that her husband slept with her (now) best friend, the room full of Peter’s supporters break into For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow. Ouch. My friend Jahn tends to crucify Kalinda for not telling Alicia, but in all honestly, I don’t think anyone would, let alone Kalinda. For probably the first time in her life, she’s not in complete control of information and she doesn’t know what to do. I really think that deep down, Kalinda was sure that somehow, some way, she could keep this under wraps. Based on precedent, she must be pretty astounded that she couldn’t.

Second Biggest Heartbreaker/Couple I Never Knew I Wanted Together
: Eli and Natalie on The Good Wife

How’s that for an odd couple? And yet, I find myself hoping that America Ferrera shows up again in the future. I’m as shocked as you are. On paper, the thought of them as a romantic pairing is kind of ridiculous, but in reality, it works amazingly well.

Best Kiss
: Boyd and Ava on Justified
The thought of Boyd and Ava ever getting together was an impossibility during season 1, but with the current season, it makes perfect sense. The actors have wonderful chemistry together and I’m excited to see how things play out. I’m also glad to see that Ava will have more to do than hang around the house all day. Of course, know Ava, that probably just means she’ll get kidnapped. For the third time.

Most Addictive New Website
:
Cute Roulette
You know, in case there was ever a threat of me getting things done at work...

Meh-iest New Show: Happy Endings As per the AV Club, #HappyEndings: "Hard to hate. Also hard to love." It wasn’t really all that funny, but in terms of half-hour sitcoms, it was by no means the worst thing I’ve seen. I guess it could potentially turn into something more memorable, but at this point, it’s just another in a long line of Friends rip-offs that can’t quite get off the ground. Plus, it has Elisha Cuthbert in it, so that’s prohibitive right there. Pilot Grade: C+

Unjust-est Elimination
: Sue on Top Chef Masters

Okay, I realize that there’s really no way that Sue was going to win the competition or anything, but to eliminate her because the show didn’t provide enough kitchen space or equipment for her to cook? That’s just ridiculous. She and Suvir totally got screwed on this one. I found myself growing more and more pissed off as the episode progressed. Dear Top Chef, it’s fine to throw crazy challenges at them, but for hell’s sake, at least give them a chance of succeeding. Ridiculous. Instead of expressing your condolences to participants for the crappy conditions, here’s a novel idea, FIX THE CONDITIONS!

Worst Local Affiliate
: CW30

Holy hell, this has to stop! My local CW affiliate has a long and aggravating history of sucking at their jobs, but last night was the final straw. I’ve endured many years of shows having occasional weird audio, visual screw-ups, and whatnot, but cutting off the last half of The Vampire Diaries and the first half of Nikita with an episode of That 70s Show is way over the line. The audio was screwed up from minute one, so I should have known that someone was asleep at the wheel. Again. Maybe they’ve started hiring ex-air traffic controllers… Long story short, I didn’t really get to watch either show, which in my universe, is tantamount to death by firing squad. I went to bed at 10 o’clock. That’s just sad.

**Quotes of the Week**


“No surprise. Mental illness can be fascinating. RT @thewrap: #ExtremeCouponing Debut Pays Off Big for TLC.”
-- TVWithoutPity, via twitter. Those couponers are insane. I will happily pay full price for every item in the store if it means I don’t have to take three binders full of little scraps of paper to the store and then follow a detailed game plan during checkout. If they spent half the time working that they spend preparing to hit the Safeway, they’d have enough money to not worry about finding a great deal. These people are basically organized hoarders. Not that people don’t need 68 bottles of mustard at a time…

“Belated congrats to Robert Sean Leonard on his impending escape from #House. Never look back.”

-- TVWithoutPity via twitter. Word.

“Caroline was frantically trying to figure out the Matt situation. She hadn't seen or heard from him ever since she came clean about being a vampire the night before. So then there she was trying to place a very important phone call using a hands-free device in a PARKED CAR? Come on, weirdo! Also, quit it, Ford. Nobody wants to buy a Fiesta. Or maybe we should Bing it?”

--Price Peterson for tv.com, skewering the omnipresent and obnoxious product placements in The Vampire Diaries.

“Don’t confuse me with your reasonableness.”

--Castle

Kalinda: “What do you think?”
Will: "I think she's fantastic."
Kalinda: "I think she just won him the election."
Will: "Probably."
Kalinda: "You should tell her how fantastic she is."
Will: "She knows."
Kalinda: "You should tell her. People like to be told."
--The Good Wife. Methinks this is Kalinda’s way of softening the blow to Alicia about the affair. Hey, at least she’s got Will, right? Good luck with that...

“Pray for me.”

--Michael Ausiello, via twitter, preparing for THIS. Godspeed, good buddy.

“I am so glad Nikolaj Coster-Waldau has finally hired out his pretty face to a respectable TV show. The failed pilot parade was getting sad.”
--JenniferArrow, via twitter. Just one of the many reasons I’m excited for Game of Thrones.

“My name is Boyd Crowder. You can come after me if you like, but it’ll be the last thing you ever do.”

--Justified. I am beyond stoked for a return of Bad Boyd. You’ve been missed.

“Joss Whedon is no Michael Bay. Thank goodness for that. An Avengers film made with a ‘bigger is better’ mentality is the last thing we need.”
--Matthew Hurd at popmatters.com. Hear, hear!

“Remember how they claimed LOST needed an end date because there was a planned ending in mind? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA. Man, that was rich.”
--JenniferArrow via twitter. I haven’t actually finished Lost yet, but I can already tell that this is where we’re headed. It’s half the reason I’m having such a hard time powering through. It’s already spinning its wheels and I still have over two seasons to get through.

“I remember when I was growing up, the rule was, ‘Don’t call anyone after 10 p.m.,’ ” Mr. Adler said. “Now the rule is, ‘Don’t call anyone. Ever.’ ”

--quote from a New York Times article by Pamela Paul.

“But heaven forbid you actually have to listen — especially to voice mail. The standard “let the audience know this person is a loser” scene in movies where the forlorn heroine returns from a night of cat-sitting to an answering machine that bleats “you have no messages” would cause confusion with contemporary viewers. Who doesn’t heave a huge sigh of relief to find there’s no voice mail? Is it worth punching in a protracted series of codes and passwords to listen to some three-hour-old voice say, “call me” when you could glance at caller ID and return the call — or better yet, e-mail back instead?”

--Pamela Paul, again. It’s a really good article (linked above). I hate the phone. Indeed, if there were a way that I could just play excerpts from that article as my voicemail message at work, I certainly would.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Week-In-Review 4.1

And the slimminess of the pickens keeps on keepin' on... A lot of shows which have been on hiatus return next week, so things are looking up, but holy hell, if that last month hasn't been a slog. I'm starting to forget what The Vampire Diaries and Nikita even look like.

Best Cult Name
: The Church of Earth…Wind and Fire on Being Human (UK)

This show has more than its fair share of dark moments, but it balances it out with hilarity. “I was in the cult? I was in the cult, yes.”

English to English Dictionary Addition of the Week: “Pikey” on Being Human (UK)
A “pikey” is basically the British equivalent of trailer trash, as I recently found out. As per urbandictionary.com, it’s from the English "turnpike", the place where itinerant travelers and thieves would camp near a settlement. And, from the film Snatch, they apparently have their own unintelligible language that “isn't English, it isn't Irish, it's just Pikey.” Learn something new every day.

Question You Never Want to Have to Ask
: “What’s the age of consent for the state of Illinois?” on Shameless

Sorry Frank, that ship has sailed. It’s half-way to Fiji by now. Or, even worse, en route to Eddie’s and Lip’s email inboxes.

Worst Way to Go
: Eddie Jackson on Shameless
Well, shit. I can think of a lot of good ways to kill yourself, but strapping cinderblocks to your legs and hopping into a frozen lake? Not at the top of my list… Presumably the freezing water would kill you quicker, and maybe he’s hoping his body is never found for some reason, but still.

Best Closet Exit: Ian finally tells Fiona that he’s gay on Shameless
It’s pretty clear that Ian and Lip have the closest bond of any of the siblings, but I like to think that Fiona knew Ian was gay well before Lip did. “Fiona, I’m gay,” he apprehensively blurts out. “I know,” she simply replies. Fiona may not be his best friend in the house the way that Lip is, but she’s his sister, and his mother basically, and in terms of knowing that someone is gay, sisters and mothers are usually the first to know.

Most Welcomed Return
: Nurse Jackie

Oh, how I’ve missed you. It was a little strange going into season 2. After the suicidal events of the season 1 finale, I expected season 2 to be very different, but it wasn’t. I mean, it took things down a different path in many ways, just not the ones I expected. With season 3, however, the game has definitely been changed. Both Kevin and O’Hara know the truth, and Jackie is reeling. Biggest change of all? Jacks passes on the opportunity to purloin a fallen Percocet. I can’t wait to see where things go from here. I still miss Mo-mo though. Always will.

Mini Let-Down of the Week: Castle
It was honestly one of their stronger A-plots, but as you know, A-plots do not a series make in my opinion. This episode just didn’t seem to have the snap, crackle, and pop of others. I didn’t even pull out any funny quotes for the end of this post. I don’t think that’s ever happened before… In the plus column though, the very end where Castle basically dupes Beckett into going on a date with him was adorable. Best part of the episode, hands down.

Most Shameless Product Placement
: Castle

Okay, I don’t actually know what kind of phone or what apps Castle was using, but the promotion was pretty shameless and annoying. At first, when he used his phone to track Alexis’ position, I was willing to go with it as simply a plot point. The next several times, complete with close-up views of his phone, were not so forgivable. He uses a different phone every week, so this comes as little surprise really, but it’s never been so blatant before. I guess I should be grateful that the integrations were pretty well integrated. White Collar could take some pointers from this. If you simply must use integrated product placement, at least make it make a modicum of sense.

Most Depressing Ratings News
: Body of Proof does better than The Good Wife

I realize it was a series premiere and that it will likely drop off next week, but still. The thought that anyone would choose yet another crime procedural over the best drama on network TV is just depressing as hell.

Biggest Storm a’ Brewin’ (Chicago Division): The Good Wife
Man alive, the noose just keeps getting tighter and tighter and it’s making me more and more nervous with each passing episode. The revelation that Peter slept with Kalinda has the potential to uproot just about every character on the show, if not destroy them entirely. Peter’s bid for State’s Attorney, Kalinda’s secret identity, Alicia’s entire existence… Things are about to get crazy. Well, crazier.

Biggest Storm a’ Brewin’ (Whoop-de-doo Division): Justified
First thing, ten-gallon hats off to Justified (and to FX) for its third season pick-up. Secondly, with the current season getting better and better week-to-week, I can only imagine how awesome that third season will be. Between the Bennets, the Givenseseses, Black Pike, Boyd, and Art’s suspicions of Raylan, we have one hell of a nailbiter on our hands (heh, get it? nailbiter, hands? sorry).

Best Performance
: Margo Martindale on Justified

This show is always firing on all cylinders, and has a cast that can rise to the challenge, but the addition of Margo Martindale has upped everyone’s games considerably. Emmy voters, take notice. She didn’t just win over the town with her oration about “the spoil,” she solidified her place on my ballot.

Best Win: Richard Blais on Top Chef All Stars
Saints be praised, and hallelujah! He was my pick to win from day one, but I’ll be damned if the show didn’t make it look like Mike Isabella might take it home. I’m pretty sure Blais would have simply collapsed and died on the spot if he’d lost, so it’s for the best on a number of levels. Speaking of Blais, I came across an article in the Hollywood Reported titled “5 Things to Know About New Top Chef Winner Richard Blais”. It went on to say, “here are five things you might not know about him…” First on the list? He uses liquid nitrogen when he cooks. Um, I hate to break it to the people at the Hollywood Reporter, but anyone who would be reading this article would know that. Indeed, in a contest between knowing his first name or knowing that he uses liquid nitrogen, believe me, more people will know about the liquid nitrogen.

Sorest Loser
: Mike from Top Chef All Stars

Okay, seriously, what happened to you as a child that you turned out like this? The eye-rolling, the excuses, the bravado… someone needs to just shoot the bastard. Look, Mike, I realize you must have been beat up as a child, a lot, but that’s no excuse. I’ve never seen someone so insecure in my life, and I just watched an entire season of Richard Blais having panic attacks.

Lamest and Most Obvious Plea to Viewers
: Criminal Minds

Oh, Criminal Minds. Don’t fire two beloved actresses and then pretend that the audience is just being whiny when they cry foul. This latest episode opens begins with, well, a horrific death of course, but right after that, we see Penelope staring at a picture of Prentiss on the wall, which prompts Morgan to say, “Prentiss wouldn’t want us to sulk. […] She would also want us to embrace Seaver.” This thinly veiled plea to the audience to just get over it all ready was more annoying than convincing. JJ and Prentiss were two of the best aspects of the show, and to summarily fire them within weeks of each other was a serious blow. On top of that, Seaver could not possibly be any more boring, or more damningly, completely useless to the team. Honestly, she was vaguely helpful for that one episode where her life-experience actually aided the team, but since then? She’s a total waste of space and no scolding from the writers of the show is going to convince me otherwise. How do I know for sure that losing Prentiss and adding Seaver was a bad move? This last episode was one of the most boring episodes I’ve ever seen. The dynamic among the group is just plain dull these days. Here’s hoping they add someone who actually brings something to the table (you know, like a gun with which to shoot Seaver).

**Quotes of the Week**

“The #burnnotice ep we're working on is too hard. So instead of an ep, shirtless Michael just blows something up and we'll call it a day. Ok?”
--Burn Notice showrunner Matt Nix, via twitter. Dear Matt, that works for me.

“I don't need or want ur apology...I want your kidney dude. ‘On behalf of ur X and all the women uv insulted...give it back.’”

--Kirstie Alley, responding to George Lopez calling her a pig and referring to the fact that Lopez divorced his wife five years after she donated one her kidneys to him.

“No magic (unless you count how Romans in Hollywood always magically sound British).”
--Entertainment Weekly, taking a tally of the various aspects of new epic TV shows like Camelot, Game of Thrones, and The Borgias. The Borgias doesn’t have much in the way of magic, but a hell of a lot of English Spaniards and English Italians. I’ll never understand why the hell they do that, but it’s distracting. The French guy sounded French, after all…

“Lowest Common Denominator Continues To Plummet: The lowest common denominator (LCD), the leading cultural indicator for American mass-market tastes, continued its precipitous drop last week, fueling worries about the future of the U.S. marketplace for ideas and stoking fears of a long-term cultural recession.”
--The Onion, which, I have to assume, is talking about Body of Proof’s impressive ratings versus The Good Wife. The plummeting LCD is one of the primary reasons I’ve started importing more and more TV goods.

“I’ve got an axe I can drop on your head at any moment. Why would I give that up?”

--Nurse Jackie, letting Sam know exactly who she is and how she operates.

“You broke my heart, Jacks.”

--O’Hara on Nurse Jackie. Jackie has been breaking the audience’s heart for two seasons now, but seeing it hit the people around her hurts even more.

Ian: “If I get convicted, I can’t enlist.”
Lip: “What?”
Ian: “In the Marines.”
Lip: “Good. I was planning on kneecapping you in your sleep to keep you out of Kandahar anyway.”

--Shameless, regarding Lip and Ian’s recent arrest for grand theft auto. As is a surprise to no one, in spite of Lip’s determination to keep Ian out of Kandahar, he takes full blame for the crime so that Ian won’t be convicted.

“It’s like when a storm is over. Is it happiness? Or is it just relief?”
--Alicia on The Good Wife, being very Epicurean, and sadly delusional. Oh, Alicia. If you only knew. Wait, strike that, please don’t ever know.

“Didja know that Dana Delany's supposed to be brilliant on #BodyOfProof? Cause the show didn't hammer that point AT ALL.”
--Television Without Pity, via twitter, summing up the annoyance that was Body of Proof in 140 characters or less.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Week-In-Review 3.4

Okay, yeah, so March can't end any sooner. The dearth of new programming is starting to take a serious toll, people. April usually fares a bit better, and then, of course, May is sweeps. Lousy Smarch programming... Honestly, when there's only one new show to watch on a Thursday, you know you're in trouble.

Worst Costume Design/Most Frightening New Pilot: Wonder Woman
Wow, I hardly even know where to start with this particularly train wreck... Man alive, I was worried for this reboot before I saw the costume design courtesy of Entertainment Weekly. Now? "Yikes" just doesn't quite seem to do it justice... It looks to be even worse than I’d feared. I guess it’s good to know that Howie’s Halloween Bargain Bin is getting some much needed business though… Seriously, it could not look any cheaper and couldn’t make Adrianne Palicki look any worse. She’s actually a very pretty girl (check her out as Tyra Collette on Friday Night Lights for a shocking comparison), but with dark hair and the smashed breasts make her look terrible. Her face looks oddly mannish here, which, for a character by the name of Wonder Woman, probably isn’t the direction they were hoping for. I’m going to have to side with TWoP on this one. “Days later and we still think that Adrianne Palicki would have been better off in some Wonder Woman underroos.” I'm not sure how appointed David E. Kelley as the head of this disaster, but between him and this costume, I'm afriad. Very afriad.

Best Casting Choice: Ian’s Biological Father on Shameless
Um, wow. Nicely done, casting director person! Seriously, I’m guessing Cameron Monaghan’s actual father doesn’t look that much like him. Freaky.

Least Believable Knowledge Gap: Robin on HIMYM
I actually thought the concept of everyone having a “knowledge gap” was pretty entertaining, but after several years of establishing Robin as a Canadian who misses being up north, the thought of her not knowing that the North Pole is a real place is ridiculous, even for this show. And not knowing that reindeer are real? Absurd. There are a billion gaps they could have given her, but for some reason they settled on the most unbelievable of them all. Did the writers do this on purpose to make Robin look even dumber than we thought, or did they casually forget who the character is entirely? Who knows.

Best Pick-Up News: Southland
I wouldn’t say this is my favorite show by any stretch, but it’s a quality program with incredible performances week-to-week and deserves another season. Anything to stick it to NBC for canceling them in such a shady way in the first place is a win in my book.

Somehow, Most and Fewest Eliminations: The Biggest Loser
I have never really cared for this show, but various people in my office watch it, so I caved. I hate being on the outside of a conversation, so I figured I’d tune in for the fast-forwarded version. I did that for a few weeks, but then my scheduling got too full and I had to bail on it. Well, with March upon us and reruns in full swing, I finally got back to it. After this long, I assumed I’d see maybe 6, considerably thinner contestants left. Well, everyone was thinner, but there were still 11 people left. And if that weren’t enough, they brought back another one! And then they eliminated a guy who didn’t want to go home, and kept a girl who did. I realize they’re trying to make things more exciting here, but it’s mostly just lame. And at the rate they keep bringing people back, the season will end sometime around Christmas. Of next year.

Best Shipper Name: Esplainie on Castle
You know, because they’re always “esplaining” things. Solid gold.

Best Meta References: Castle
Speaking of shippers, hats off to Castle for addressing the crazy fans out there head-on, and in the most charming way possible. They somehow managed to take on obsessive shippers, bloggers who rail against the shows they love, and the fervor over their own will-they-or-won’t-they setup, all without pissing off anyone who actually falls into those categories. Well played.

Shittiest Luck: Basically the entire cast of Shameless
Boy, this just keep going from bad to worse for these people. This week’s episode set the dominoes in place, and in the finale few minutes, nudged that first one into the next. Sunday’s finale promises a wide array of crazy as the rest come tumbling down. Oh, Officer Tony. Way to go, champ. Surely sending Lip and Ian to jail is the way into Fiona’s pants, right?

Second Shittiest Luck: Winona and Raylan on Justified
Last week’s episode felt a little out of place and kind of like a filler episode, but when you combine it with this week’s denouement, it turns out that it was actually a thrilling two-parter that should have been aired on the same night. After last week, I was a little skeptical about how things played out. Why the hell would Winona have taken a single bill to the bank to see if it was real? Was she going to go back for the rest? That’s a terrible plan! Well, with this week’s episode, it all makes a lot more sense. She took the whole lot first thing, intending on spending it, then realized that perhaps the reason it was in lock-up for so long was that it was counterfeit. That’s why she went to the bank with the one bill, then changed her mind as she realized the ramifications of showing up at a bank with a fake bill. This in no way means her actions weren’t incredibly stupid, but at least there’s a rationale behind it. Man alive, the payoff in this week’s episode was well-worth the ambivalence over last week’s. In true Hitchcockian brilliance, the audience becomes a co-conspirator with Raylan and Winona as they try desperately to put that money back where it came from without getting caught. With the audience being the only ones privy to every moment, it became unbearably nerve-wracking as their every attempt failed, then was one-upped with even more danger. So great. And, while lesser shows would have put us through all that and then had them get away scot free, Justified gives us some resolution without the rose-colored glasses. Winona gets the money back into evidence, but not without Art Mullen becoming slightly suspicious of our good friend Raylan. I’m just so glad I can breathe again now that the money has been taken care of that I’m more than happy to live with a little unsubstantiated suspicion.

In Related News, Most Terrifying Performance by an Inanimate Object: Winona’s stupid, ugly, incriminating bag on Justified
I must have thought to myself, “Oh, for hell’s sake, Winona!” at least a hundred times because of that bag…

Most Deafening Silence/Longest Elevator Ride Ever: Justified
After enduring an entire episode of unbridled anxiety, the money is returned, Winona’s leather bag is empty, but that’s only just the beginning. Wow, I wouldn’t have wanted to have been in that elevator after all that. Really, after something like this, what do you say? What can you say?

Slumpiest Sophomore Year: Modern Family
This week’s episode was better than the last several, but that must mean that the bar has been lowered considerably from season 1. I’ve never been as over-the-moon about this show as most people (finding it to be more amusing than uproarious), but in season 1, I walked away from most episodes with a few hi-larious quotes and several memorable moments. This season? It’s more medium-larious than anything else and on a far less frequent basis. I guess I’m just not finding a whole lot to latch onto this year. Long story short, where Community has upped its game in season 2, Modern Family has declined. Community has always been a better comedy, but now, the gap is more noticeable than ever.

Biggest Dick: Mike on Top Chef All-Stars
Can I tell you how irked I am that he’s in the finale? Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather see Blais trounce him than Antonia, but that also means that we have to see yet another episode of Mike and his insufferableness. He’s suck a prick. Even when he’s trying to be complimentary, he’s a bastard. Way to undercut Chef Bernstein by specifying that she’s “one of the top women chefs,” rather than simply “one of the top chefs” in the country. Nice back-handed praise for one of the guest judges there, jackass. I swear to god, if he wins this, fans will revolt. Come on Blais, don’t you dare choke… you know, like you did the last time (why yes, yes I will continue to pour salt in that wound if I think it'll motivate him to suck less this time around!)

Strangest, Yet Ridiculously Common Pronunciation: Jaguar on Top Model
I don’t know where people get this idea, but I have heard more than a few people over the years pronounce “jaguar” as “jag-wire”. It’s not even kind of spelled like that and in spite of my best efforts to find a dictionary out there that has that as an alternate pronunciation, I fell short. There are only two pronunciations of “jaguar” that I’ve ever come across in a dictionary. “Jag-wahr” and the chiefly British “jag-yoo-ar”. I’ll happily take either. Not that I should be expecting much from top model contestants, but this weirdness extends beyond just them. So weird.

Best Mash-Up: Pulp Fiction and My Dinner with Andre on Community
I love this show. Best comedy on TV. I’ve never actually seen My Dinner with Andre, but now I might just have to. “I’ll never forget My Dinner with Andre dinner with Abed.” Classic. Only this show could managed to blend two such disparate movies into a TV show that's not only hilarious, but also has emotional depth. Impressive.

Best New Acronym: THL—Tight Heavy Lid
Courtesy of Community, of course. Should prove useful...

**Quotes of the Week**

“You shouldn't have to do fucking Glee…. The guy is so offended that we're not, like, begging to be on his fucking show. Fuck that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee. ... I watched 10 minutes. It's not my thing.”
--Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters. I couldn’t agree more. I enjoy Glee well enough (although this season has been rough), but I find myself thinking a little less of certain musicians who allow their music to be used on the show. If I had my way, they’d do almost nothing but showtunes, which showcase the cast’s talents the best and which help tell a story a whole lot better. Sorry Ryan Murphy, but I’m with Dave on this one. Stop being such a baby and taking offense when you get turned down.

“Report: Majority Of Newspapers Now Purchased By Kidnappers To Prove Date”
--The Onion makes my day.

“We call this color: I was saying Royal Blue-urns.”
--Shirt Woot, making my day with a reference only true blue-urns Simpsons fans will appreciate.

Martha: “After my character married his character, Joseph Fox, she was kidnapped, buried alive, trapped in a cave with bears, uh, kidnapped again, and held hostage in the sewers of Paris.”
Beckett: “How long were you on the show?”
Martha: “Three weeks.”
--Castle, regarding Martha's stint on a daytime soap.

“George. I choose you.”
--Mitchell on Being Human (UK), who keeps breaking my heart. I’m afraid for the rest of this season, peeps. Very afraid.

Alicia: “It’s my daughter. She thinks I drink too much.”
Kalinda: “You know what your problem is?”
Alicia: “I don’t drink enough?”
Kalinda: “You didn’t get your tubes tied.”
--The Good Wife. Word. (Sorry, Jahn, I know you like Grace.)

Alicia: “You crossed the line.”
Eli: “…Which one?”
--The Good Wife. I don’t talk about him much, but Eli Gold is one of the best characters on TV. It makes the frequent absences of Chris Noth a little easier to endure. Alan Cumming, you’re my hero. Or, as my brother would say, “Nightcrawler really deserves his own show.” Agreed.

"There's nothing clear about the air around coal."
--Probably the most prophetic and subtly pointed lines ever spoken on Justified.

Raylan: “He has had my back on two occasions. Once was the last day I was in the mine, and the other, not so long ago.”
Carol: “My, that sounds like a love story.”
--Justified, pointing out what the audience already knows. This show may be about a lot of things, but the relationship between Boyd and Raylan takes the cake.

“He will be amazing & adored, then Fox will cancel him after 14 eps.”
--Nathan Fillion, via twitter, responding to tradertiki’s comment, “My wife and I just named our son Malcolm Reynolds....”

“And all the while there was Winona's tan leather bag, brimming with stacks of smirking Benjamin Franklins, mocking us at every turn. Just sitting there. Like a bag. But it was anything but a bag. It's always fantastic when an inanimate object becomes a central character in a show or film, and halfway through the episode I wanted to punch that bag in its non-existent face or roughly pull its zipper back and forth until it caught on something and got stuck. Take that, bag!”
--Tim Surette on TV.com, expressing my thoughts toward Winona’s bag far more eloquently than I could.

“Cool. Cool. Cool, cool, cool.”
--Abed on Community, noting the awesomeness of his friends’ Pulp Fiction costumes. Cool to the fifth, really. I loved how earlier in the episode Annie had said that they’d get at least five “cools” from Abed, and then they did.

Troy [near sobbing]: “They said market price! WHAT MARKET ARE YOU SHOPPING AT?!”
--Community. I always love the little… geez, what do you call those little scenes at the end of a show that come after the narrative has already been wrapped up? Well, whatever they’re called, Community does them better than anyone. They always leave you will a hilarious little nugget to hold onto.