When I first heard that JJ Abrams had a new show about prisoners disappearing from Alcatraz prison in 1963 then resurfacing 50 years later to cause mayhem and whatnot, I was pretty excited. JJ has a pretty good track record (Undercovers notwithstanding) and although Lost eventually devolved into a total mess, that was long after JJ's involvement had ended. It was with this pedigree that I happily looked forward to Alcatraz as, I hoped, my new obsession, bringing a glisten and cache to midseason that we'd never seen before.
Yeah, not so much.
Awh, best laid plans. Yeah, I think with Alcatraz we have a tragic case of a great, high concept idea that's been weighted down by network TV. What could have been a gripping serial drama full of mystery and intrigue has been revised and diluted into a standard network crime procedural. Ugh. It wasn't a total disaster or anything, and I really do think it has potential, but at the end of the day, it appears to be way more baddie-of-the-week than I expected. In my book, I'll take a decent serial over a good procedural any day of the week, so such a realization was quite a letdown.
The basic gist of the show is interesting and different. When Alcatraz prison closed in 1963, the prisoners were supposedly transferred to other prisons. In the show's mythology, however, they were taken by unknown forces for unknown reasons. In present day San Francisco, these long-forgotten prisoners are resurfacing, having hardly aged a day, with vengeance on their minds and mysterious puppet master pulling the strings. Interesting, right?! Wow, that sounds like a hell of a concept for show! That's something I've never really seen before! I can hardly wait for the awesome web of awesomeness to unfold before me!!In actuality, the base mythos for the show's conceit acted merely as a framework for a quirky buddy cop crime procedural. Yeah, that's the exact opposite of what I was hoping for. That said, even that could have really come together in fabulous ways. It didn't. Problemo numero uno? Sarah Jones. Good lord, you've got to be kidding me. When I first heard she'd been cast as the female lead, my expectations for the show diminished by half. Quite rightly, I was disappointed to find. Sometimes I really hate being right. Jones plays Rebecca Madsen, a tough, no-nonsense detective who rose through the ranks at a young age, having learned everything she knows about detectiving from her father. Okay, seriously? How many times do I have to see this character? Your show is about ghosts from Alcatraz wreaking havoc and yet you couldn't come up with something more original than that for your primary character? Such laziness does not bode well for the show as a whole. But, again, even such a hackneyed character model can work when placed in the right hands. Sarah Jones' hands ain't them.
In truth, I've only ever seen her on a few episodes of Sons of Anarchy and an episode of Justified. I wasn't particularly impressed by either, but all in all, she did a serviceable job with the roles she was given (that of the daughter of a white supremacist and very pregnant Kentucky prisoner, respectively). While she managed okay with those, at no time did I think to myself, "You know, she's make a hell of a supernatural detective." I was hoping I'd be wrong, but no. She was terrible. Not for one second did I believe she was a police officer of any stripe, let alone a badass detective who chases down bad guys. First of all, she's not old enough to be a detective.
But, then again, no one on these shows ever is. The real problem is that she looks about 14. The flippy blond bob and matronly shape did not help. To boot, her manner, her demeanor, the way she carried herself, everything, struck me more as any random woman at a grocery store than as a ballbusting maverick. With a capable actress, her appearance wouldn't have mattered, but Jones couldn't sell the part even if she looked it, so to not look the either was the death knell. She commanded no authority and at no time did I feel she was actually capable of much of anything. She truly brought nothing to the table and left the audience with a bland, forgettable performance. Seriously, if I had to think of 5 words to describe who she is a as a person, I doubt I could get to 3 before giving up and saying things like, "Uh... punctual? And, um... loves Eggos?" for personality traits 4 and 5. A great actor can make even the weakest of material sing. Alcatraz has problems, but it's by no means the "weakest of material," and yet she still failed. The first outing for the show consisted of the pilot and second episode, of which she was front and center and yet I'm still left with nothing but cliches to hold onto. Maybe that's why they stuck to the cliches... they realized she couldn't bring anything special, so they just put a cookie-cutter out there and hoped the audience would fill in all the blanks. Man, I think back to the Veronica Mars pilot. With Kristen Bell as the lead, I left the pilot knowing who she was, how she operated, and most importantly, that I liked her and wanted to know more. Sarah Jones is not half so capable, and Alcatraz suffered as a result. Honestly, with another actress at the helm, I'd probably being singing the show's praises. As is, I'm left wondering what idiot thought she could anchor a show.
Jones was the real problem here, but honestly, the rest of the cast wasn't given much to work with. Hurley is playing Hurley. Straight up. Even his quips and turns of phrase are the same. His manner, tone, reactions, everything. Don't get me wrong, I love Hurley, but I already know Hurley. He's as warm and convivial as ever, having a lovable chemistry with just about everyone. Having never seen him in anything besides Lost, I can't vouch for his range, but I would have loved to have seen him given something a little different. In this, I'm met with a female cop stereotype and a character I already know. On the one hand, it grounded the show in familiarity, but on the other hand, it grounded the show in familiarity. I'm always looking for something new, and when I run across a ballsy high-concept, I expect it to follow through in all aspects, not just the background conceit.Sam Neill and Parminder Nagra round out the supporting cast and are both fine, but I kept feeling like they were being wasted in favor of watching Jones awkwardly run after criminals. I'm hopeful the writers will realize what they've got on their hands and shift the focus, but as is, they provided the mysterious people behind the curtain, the bosses, the ones in the know, but didn't get to show much of it. Here's hoping for more. The end of the second episode opened a lot of possibilities for Nagra and I'm hoping they make the most of them.
That she, apparently, hasn't aged either, existing in flashbacks and modern day, is genuinely intriguing and automatically makes her character far more interesting than the actual leads of the show. It also helps explain how she could have been shot straight through the heart with a huge rifle and managed to survive. I just hope they actually have a plan for the long term and figured out their own mythology before jumping int with both feet. As with Lost before it, I'd hate to see "the island is magical" become a common refrain for this show... (I just barely finished Lost and can I tell ya? Majorly disappointing. That whole last season was a snooze. I had three eps to go and I simply didn't care. Finally watched said eps, and still didn't care. Ugh.)While the show definitely has some procedural elements to it, what with a ghost from the past seemingly being tracked down week-to-week and pairing between a cop and an unconventional partner, but its ongoing story seems to hold together better than most. I expected the prisoner in the first episode to be a one-off, but it appears that they'll be making appearances for the long run. This gives me hope for the series. With the leads being as lackluster as they are, I found myself instantly more interested in the prisoners, wanting to learn more about their stories, their histories, and their personalities than in Jones or Hurley. For the one-off characters to outshine the stars is a very bad sign, but the
underpinnings of the show allow for a more serial arc than expected. I really hope the writers make the most of that and eschew standard procedural elements for something much deeper than they've given us so far. The mysteries they've laid out are genuinely compelling, but having been burnt so many times before, and by several of the same people, I'm reluctant to trust the writers to payoff their setups. Seriously, is it worth feverishly discussing the many possibilities if you can't be sure the writers themselves have figured anything out? Ultimately, probably not. Lost raised so many questions and opted to answer them poorly or not at all that viewers felt cheated. If you're ever looking for a good time, play the "Wait, how did that happen? Uh, the island..." drinking game. You'll be soused in no time. I'm more than a little concerned that this will be the same situation, slightly different island.The show isn't without hope, but I'm proceeding with extreme caution and prejudice. I doubt I'll ever learn to love the bad acting and personality-lessness of the lead actress, but I'd like to think there's enough here that they could make it work. There are a lot of logistical elements of the story that I think will prove problematic for the writers down the road, but I'm crossing my fingers that they have a plan this time (having seen what a disaster not having a plan proved to be with Lost). At the end of the day, I didn't hate it, but I certainly didn't love it either. My brother and I spent the whole time wishing it were written by Joss Whedon and starring... almost any other actress out there. Gina Torres was our top pick, but there's a bag of potatoes in my kitchen that's on the short list for the job (what with Jones being their competition). Even if the project ultimately falls to pieces, JJ can usually put together a hell of a pilot. With Alcatraz? Not even close. There are a number of amazing shows out there that had bad or mediocre pilots, but JJ's trajectory is almost always in the other direction. That does not bode well for Alcatraz.
I like to think that in its original iteration, Alcatraz was as badass as it should be and that it was the network that tied their hands and foisted mass appeal on them in the form of a crime procedural. Whatever the cause, that's far and away the show's weakest
story element. It's weakest overall element, of course is the cast. Wow. I'm hoping the show starts to gel into more of a serial as they go along and that the overarching storylines take over as the season progresses. The concept of Madsen's grandfather being one of the prisoners who has come back, although hokey and predicable, opens some interesting doors as well. In a perfect world, the show would use the first few episodes to build a bit of an army of prisoners from Alcatraz and then stop having the baddie of the week elements for the most part. I realize that's probably not going to happen, but a girl can dream. Hey, they have middle America to appeal to, dontcha know, and they can't be confusing them with actual storytelling. Ugh.Again, it wasn't a total disaster and it does have some things going for it. I just wish I'd gotten to see more of those things in the pilot. I also wish so many of those things weren't the same things Lost had (hell, even the music sounds exactly the same). As is, most of the show's assets are theoretical. In my mind, they have a lot of a good stuff to work with. On the screen, much less so. The production values are high and show is well-made, even if the talent onscreen and offscreen leaves a bit to be desired. Hopefully they'll settle into their roles and be more at home with who they're supposed to be... or, you know, Sarah Jones could get hit by a bus. One or the other, really. I'll give it a few more episodes to find its feet and establish itself, but after two episodes, I'm left with a "meh." And... more than a few unintentional laughs... My brother and I really had a field day with this one. They just made it too easy.
Pilot Grade: C+
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