Week-In-Review 2.1

It has become apparent that I need to somehow label these so that I can keep them straight. I'm going to employ a system that I know all to well, the season.episode format, only now with month.week. Here we go!

Most Unexpected Memory Trigger: Betty White at the SAG awards, if you can believe it…
As happy as I was to see 89 year old Betty White take home the statue (even if she actually won for outstanding achievement in the field of still being alive), it also triggered one of those lightning-fast recollections of a dream that I had totally forgotten about. For some reason, I was riding in the backseat of a car (one of those old people cars—you know, the size of a catamaran, all in maroon) with someone I can’t remember and Betty was driving. When I say “driving,” I mean “racing down the freeway like a maniac.” I kept screaming for Betty to stop the car, but she wouldn’t. Then the cops pulled up beside us, sirens blaring, trying to get her to stop. Still no luck. I kept looking over at the cops with a look of “I don’t know what to do” because it was really important to me at the time that they know that I was not in cahoots with Betty White. I seem to recall Betty driving off the road into a ditch after that, much to everyone’s relief. That maniac Betty White would no longer be terrorizing the good people of whatever fictional town my brain had come up with. What this all could mean, I have no idea… If there are any Freudians or dream analysts out there, Merry Christmas.

Best Absence: Al Pacino wins at the SAG awards, but mercifully isn’t there to accept.
Not having to listen to another interminable “speech” from Al Pacino means we’re all winners.

Most Convenient Casting: Paz de la Huerta
Apparently the casting director for Boardwalk Empire wasn’t taking too big of a leap in casting Paz de la Huerta as a half-conscious, grating, incoherent dingbat, as confirmed at the SAG awards. And here all this time I was just hoping she was one hell of a convincing actress. As it turns out, no acting required. In related news, put… the bronzer… down!

Longest Divorce: Chuck
Hot on the heels of its dubious distinction as the “least tempting show saved on my DVR,” I’ve finally, finally, FINALLY broken things off for good. In light of hardly anything being new last night, I started watching one of the saved episodes. After about five minutes, I could hear Jessica Lovejoy’s voice in my head with a plaintive, “Bored now,” and called it quits. Officially. The series has been canceled from my DVR list and all saved episodes have been deleted. If precedent serves, this means the show will now get insanely awesome again, so if you’re sticking with it, you’re welcome.

Most Unhatable Villain: Lie to Me’s baddie-of-the-week
Okay, I realize that the delectable Ashton Holmes (the late great Thom from Nikita) was actually a brutal murderer on last night’s episode of Lie to Me, but I have so many warm and fuzzy feelings about him from his stint on Nikita that I spent the entire episode hoping to hell he got away with it. It wasn’t all that long ago that he got killed (the wound is still a bit fresh in my mind), so it sure was nice to see him crop up on another show (quite frankly, a show that can use all the help it can get). Here’s hoping he lands a regular gig on something worth watching (which is code for, something on cable—ooh! Justified! Please?).

Best Casting News: Kristen Bell in Showtime's House of Lies, a role that might not totally suck.
I think we can all agree that most of her career moves have been more heartbreaking than uplifting. Post Veronica Mars, it’s been pretty painful to watch our darling Veronica in one craptastic romantic comedy after another. Here’s hoping her return to the small screen yields watchable results. Showtime has a pretty good track record, so at least there’s a chance. Kristen really deserves more than just a supporting role, but hey, I’d rather see her play second fiddle on a show that’s good than headline something as horrendous as When in Rome. Oh, wait…

Most Tantalizing Tidbit: Neal Caffrey’s father was a cop!
Can I just say, White Collar took a while to really find solid ground, but now that it’s there, it has become one of my favorite hours of television each week. Maybe it’s that the writers really feel like they know their characters now, or that the network is in full support of the show, or maybe it’s that they finally killed off Kate ("I’ll take Kate Getting Killed for 500, Alex."), but whatever is going on, it’s working. After last week’s flashback episode, I had feared that they would withhold any additional information about Neal’s past until some sort of finale or premiere (which don’t get me wrong, on USA, that’s about all there is), but I was pleasantly surprised to get some tantalizing information about Neal’s real past, not just his criminal past. I love that Neal’s father was a cop. The vibe between Neal and Peter has always had a bit of a father-son vibe to it, so making Neal’s actual father a cop just adds to that. The fact that his father was never around when he was a kid (and was apparently a dirty cop) also gives their vibe a shot in the arm. I thought it was really interesting when Neal said that he learned a lot about guns trying to be like his father, given the fact that it’s been established that Neal hates guns. His relationship with his father (or lack thereof), has helped mold Neal into the man he is today, and essentially Peter is stepping in where his father never did. Neal’s mother claims that his father died when he was a toddler, but I think we all know that he isn’t dead. With the Kate mystery starting to wind down with the revelation of Adler, I’m happy to see them sparking new ones. The actual chronology of events and the veracity of everything Neal told Peter is still up for grabs, but whatever the case may be, I’m thrilled to finally get some basic information about who Neal is and where he came from. I’m secretly hoping there are some siblings out there to be found as well…

Best Showdown: Cary vs Blake on The Good Wife

Second Best Showdown: Eli vs Becca on The Good Wife

Third Best Showdown: Alicia vs Wendy Scott-Carr on, wait for it, The Good Wife

Most Showdowns: Homekeepers with Arthelene Rippy
Or was it The Good Wife? Yeah, in case you hadn’t noticed a pattern here, The Good Wife had kind of an intense week… Homekeepers is really more about passive-aggressive power-plays than showdowns. No really, I’m serious. If you watch The Soup, you know what I mean.

Bloodiest Backfire: Being Human
While it can’t quite hold a candle to the UK original, the US version is well-done and entertaining. And pretty bleak, at times. I had a feeling Aidan’s attempts to glamour that guy wouldn’t end well, but I didn’t expect the guy to kill himself. When Bishop handed Aidan that envelope, I thought of several possibilities for what could be in there, but bloody suicide photos was not at the top of the list. Ouch. Poor Aidan. That’s rough, bro.

Best Shower: One that has Ian Somerhalder in it...
Kudos, Vampire Diaries. Kudos. Ian is also sitting in the "Best Bathtub" category. Man, that was a really good episode, wasn't it?

Sorest Loser with the Most Pathetic Pasta: Mike Isabella on Top Chef
Mike, it’s one thing to be disappointed that you didn’t win, it’s quite another to bitch and moan that Antonia’s dish was “really easy” when all you had to do was make pasta. And you couldn’t. That’s right, jackass, she didn’t beat you with some fantabulous dish. Nope, all she had to do was make something properly and it blew your hard, crunchy, “un-done-te” pasta out of the water. Seriously, I can’t believe he had the gall to call her out for making something simple. Dear Mike, I can’t steam mussels, but I can boil water and dump pasta in, thanks. Bastard. Mike, if you want to beat Antonia, might I make a suggestion?

Best Episode Cliffhanger (muahahahaha division): The Vampire Diaries
I don’t know about you, but I kinda can’t wait for Katherine to get out of the tomb. Did I think for even a minute that it would be Uncle John to get her out? Not a chance. The vampire/werewolf war that’s brewing needs all the badass vampires it can get. There will be blood. Well, more blood.

Best Episode Cliffhanger (ruh-ruh division): Nikita
It doesn’t come as a total surprise that Michael is starting to put the pieces together on Nikita, but that doesn’t make it any less foreboding. His reaction to Nikita outside the museum, however, makes me think that most of his blustering is pure bravado and that he’s isn’t as angry as he claims. I’m loving this show and I can’t wait to see how this one plays out. In other news, uh, Alex? Could you at least try to look like you’re actually capable of subduing a room full of hostages? And couldn’t the show have included at least one other woman in that group? She stuck out like a tiny, teenage thumb.

Quotes of the Week:

Lip: “Debs, was he inside or outside the yard when you grabbed him?”
Debbie: “Inside.”
Lip: “Okay… So, how’d you get him out?”
Debbie: “I waved a Snickers bar at him.”
--Lip trying to figure out just how Debbie stole a 2-year-old from a birthday party and exactly how much trouble she’ll be in on Shameless. It was Debbie’s zealous reading of “Snickers bar” that really sold the line.

“Tell me about your mother. Did she wear hats?”
--Peter, on White Collar, trying to pin down absolutely anything regarding Neal’s dubious personal history, whether sartorial or otherwise.

“This looks like something you’d find at the steam table at your worst enemy’s wedding.”
--Anthony Bourdain (aka the best addition to the show in ages), regarding Mike’s pathetic pasta on Top Chef. Sooo, you’re saying we’re at Mike’s wedding?

Eli: “How is it that I can manage aldermen, judges, and yet I still seem to have this ridiculous little mean girl thorn in my shoe?”
Becca: “Maybe your secretly in love.”
--One of many showdowns in The Good Wife this week. Apparently Eli didn’t watch enough Gossip Girl or he would have seen this coming a mile away. Not that he wasn’t prepared. I think we can all agree that when it comes to politics, Eli is the meanest mean girl in town.

Cary: “You just got my only eyewitness kicked and you want my help?”
Kalinda: “Yeah.”
--Oh, Cary, we all know she does and we all know you will. So would we.

“It’ll murder those fine lines and wrinkles right off your face.”
--Danielle Fishel on The Dish, regarding the Rejuvenique beauty mask.

Damon: “He’s a werewolf. He needs to die. I’m willing to kill. It’s a win-win.”
Elena: "Damon, please. Too many people are dead.”
Damon: “You need to stop doing that.”
Elena: “Doing what?”
Damon: “Assuming that I’ll play the good guy because it’s you who’s asking.”
--The Vampire Diaries. Something wicked this way comes, and he has fabulous blue eyes.

“For reasons that should be obvious, Pierce the Insensitive, known also as Pierce the Dickish and Grandpa the Flatulent, was not invited.”
--Lord of the Rings-y narrator of Community’s Dungeons & Dragons send-up of Pierce.

The Dead, the Mostly Dead, and the Slightly Alive

For some reason I keep thinking it's June next week... Perhaps it's because Burn Notice returns on June 4th (booyah! my god, I love that show), but I just can't seem to acknowledge that May is still very much in existence and means I'll have to wait four more weeks for Michael Weston and company to start blowing things up once again.

Whatever the reason May has fallen of my head, fact is, it's here to stay, and television-wise, it's actually a very important month.

Aside from being a sweeps month and one of the best month's for season finales, it's also upfront season. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, the "upfronts" are the season schedules for each of the networks. It's during this time that viewers get to find out which shows got picked up for next season, which shows got the axe, and what new pilots are in the works.

For a professional television watcher such as myself, the upfronts are kind of like the draft (as I hesitantly dip my toe into a sports metaphor)... Shows get picked up, fired, and traded, the schedules get jumbled, and I have to completely reorient myself. As frightening as it can be at times (what with the vast majority of my shows currently teetering on the bubble), it's also one of the most fun (for someone as pathetic as I am, that is).

For some unknown reason, NBC's upfronts will be on November 5th, while the other networks won't be until the 18th through the 21st. Maybe they're hoping that announcing first will give them some sort of edge? Lord knows they could use the help, but I just don't think it'll do them a whole lot of good. Whatever. Most of my bubble shows are on NBC, so the less time I have to wait, the better.

Anyway, here are the latest details on pick-ups and cancellations (go here for shows that were picked up or axed earlier), and a few predictions about the bubble shows that currently on the endangered TV list.

OFFICIAL PICK-UPS:

• Grey's Anatomy (Every time I see anything about this show, I find myself ever so glad we broke up. Although I'm hearing Izzie is on her death bed these days, so I might just have to tune in for her untimely (in that it should have come three years ago) demise. Although imminent death would be about the only way she could possibly become whinier... Maybe I'll pass after all.)
  
• Private Practice (Oh lordy, I don't watch this show, but I came across this clip and about died. I tell ya what, wow/oy/ugh/seriously?)


• Ugly Betty (which I'm a little surprised at...)


• Lost


• Desperate Housewives
  
• Brothers & Sisters


• Dancing with the Stars (injuring "celebrities" for yet another season)


• The Big Bang Theory (picked up for 2 more seasons)


• How I Met Your Mother (also picked up for 2 more seasons--yay!)


• Heroes (Although the show has been sucking it up lately, it still does very well overseas and with Bryan Fuller back on the team, I've heard that creatively, it's in a much better place than when Heroes and I broke up earlier this year. It was picked up for next season, but only an 18 episode order, as opposed to this season's 24 or 25 (which felt more like 86 or 117)).


• Two and a Half Men (got picked up for the next 3 seasons--gag me)


• 24


• Friday Night Lights (I believe it's another weird, DirecTV something or other, but one way or another, it's alive and kicking (heh, no pun intended))


• Breaking Bad


• The Tudors


• Law & Order: SVU

OFFICIALLY DEAD AS A DEAD DEAD:

• Life on Mars


• Knight Rider


• Chopping Block (the title alone was just begging for cancellation)


• Lipstick Jungle (after about of dozen horror-movie style returns from the dead, I think this one is finally over with)
  
• Trust Me (wasn't a terrible show, but it was kind of painful to watch. You have to try pretty hard to make Erik MacCormack and Tom Cavanaugh unlikeable, but I'll be damned if they didn't succeed with flying colors)
  
• According to Jim

Those were the shows that I've heard official news about. Below are the shows that are still unofficially anything...

GOOD AS DEAD:

• Kings (Well made, ambitious, and had a lot of great elements to work with, but it never found an audience. Also, it was more than a bit of a downer... Seriously, a little levity would have gone a long way. It started on Sundays as NBC's grandiose new drama, then it was banished to the Saturday death slot, then, just when you thought it couldn't get worse, it's been pulled from the schedule entirely. I'm hearing the remaining episodes of its 13 episode order will air this summer. Ouch.)
  
• Better Off Ted (This is a real shame. It's a great show, but Americans have truly, truly, terrible taste (see Two and a Half Men's pick-up status above for reference). I'd like to think that this little gem had a chance of being picked up, but the ratings are pretty abysmal and the show is actually good, so between those two factors, it doesn't stand much of a chance. Bah!)


• Terminator: The Sarah Connors Chronicles (The official word hasn't come down from on high, but multiple sources confirm that the show is dead. I never watched this show, but I hear it was quite good and anything with a Whedon alum on board deserves better than Fox has to offer.)

ON LIFE SUPPORT:

• Dollhouse (She ain't dead yet, but things are looking pretty grim. Joss mentioned in an interview recently that a second season pick-up is entirely possible, but after looking at last Friday's numbers, I'm not holding my breath. Let's just say it was a tough call between putting this show in the category above or this one. I would be thrilled if it got picked-up, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up (read: get any hope at all). It has turned into a pretty kick-ass series and I'll be sad to see it go. Here's hoping for a miracle.)


• Chuck (Although Chuck has always struggled a bit in the ratings department, deep down I think it'll get picked up. The brass at NBC like the show and have shown quite a bit of support in the past. I like to think that the powers that be realize that Chuck is in quite possibly the worst timeslot ever conceived, and that that has a lot to do with its ratings woes. Seriously, it's up against House, Dancing with the Stars, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, and Gossip Girl. Monday at 7 is a very busy time for me... Plus, the grassroots efforts by fans and the show's cast have garnered quite a bit of media attention of late, so I think NBC will keep it, even if just to save face. They don't have a whole lot of successful shows these days, and certainly none with as devoted a following. In short, go to Subway this weekend and help the cause!)
  
• Life (another one of my darlings that has struggled in the ratings department. Honestly, the ratings aren't terrible and given the number of times it's been moved around on the schedule, it's performing better than I would have thought. The overhead on this kind of show usually isn't too insane, and we all know people love their procedurals, so I have a little hope that Life will survive. More than for Dollhouse, but not as much as for Chuck. It's prognosis is somewhere in between, I'd say. Even though season two kind of lost its way here and there, it ended strong and I'm keeping the faith.)
  
• The Unusuals (its ratings aren't terrible, but they've been slipping week-to-week. It's a solid show with a premise that should have mass appeal, but it just isn't finding a huge audience. I'd really like to see this show come back for a second season, but unless the ratings pick up, or at very least, stabilize, it doesn't look too likely).

LOOKING GOOD:

• Castle (I'm very pleased that a pick-up for Castle is looking fairly likely. The ratings aren't insanely spectacular or anything, but they're good and hold steady week-to-week. Also, ABC doesn't really have much else in terms of a procedural, so I think they'll keep Castle around for next year. I sure as hell hope so. What at first struck me as a piece of harmless fluff that could flesh out my second tier shows has quickly become one of my favorite shows on TV, first tier all the way. Finally! A show with Nathan Fillion that might survive! Yay!)


• Eleventh Hour (The ratings are actually quite good (in spite of CBS's ostensible lack of support for the show). I'm hearing Marley Shelton might not be back next year, which for a show with only two series regulars, she's half the show... I think this show could really benefit from an overhaul, so if it gets picked up, here's hoping that make a lot of changes. The show needs a home base and more than two regular characters.)


• Lie to Me (It's really not that good of a show, but I have to admit it's gotten a lot better since its first couple of episodes. It's a third tier show through and through, but it's toned down its "we're these incredible specialists who have the unique ability to spot obvious lying" overtones and that has made it a lot easier to watch. I still fast-forward through parts of every episode though... Anyway, the ratings are pretty good, but could certainly be better. I think Fox will keep this one around, especially with Prison Break ending and 24 getting on in years, it could use another consistent player.)


• Samantha Who? (I was honestly a little surprised that Ugly Betty got an early pick-up and Sam Who? didn't... I think it still has a good chance of being picked up, but the early pick up announcement made it a little uncertain. It's a decent show, but I only caught the first few episodes. The concept doesn't leave room for much longevity, so I can see where ABC might be on the fence with this one...)


• Scrubs (strange as it may sound, it's looking more and more like Scrubs might get picked-up for another season... The real contingency is which actors would be willing to come back to the show. If enough regulars agree to come back, it'll most likely get picked up, if not, it's much less likely.)
  
• Southland (It has only aired a couple of episodes so far (which is the only reason I didn't put it in the "Definite Pick-Ups" category), but the numbers are solid and NBC has been pushing hard for it. With ER over and buried (finally), they've been looking for a new drama to fill that slot and it appears they may have found it. The show doesn't really do it for me, but it's well made and I can see where it could find a sizable audience. Another good sign, now that Kings has been yanked and sent to the Summer Cemetery, reruns of Southland are airing in its place. Bad for Kings, good for Southland. It's nice to see Ryan Atwood getting work...)
  
• Privileged (shockingly enough, the little show that could might actually make it. The CW doesn't really have a whole of shows to hang on to, and with most of their returning shows getting older and more ridiculous, Privileged may very well be picked up. I've been hearing good things about its possible return lately, so although I don't really care one way or the other and have never seen a full episode, good for them...)

DEFINITE PICK-UPS:

• The Mentalist (although official word hasn't come down yet, this mediocre show was this year's breakaway hit for some unknown reason. Oh wait, Americans really love bad television. This show isn't a total disaster, but that's about the best I have to say. It's watchable, but it'll never break out of its third tier distinction unless it really starts bringing its A-game (assuming such a thing exists). Have no fear Mentalist fans, Simon Baker will be back next year, smarmily pompous as ever, along with Robin Tunney's dead eyes and hollow head. Yay...)
  
• Fringe (again, nothing official, but Fringe is pretty much a lock for next year. I didn't survive past the first 6 or 7 episodes, but I hear the show has really hit its stride these days. The ratings are solid, and Fox has shown considerable faith in the show. I'm confident of a pick-up and will be pretty surprised if it gets the axe (even though this is Fox we're talking about and nothing should shock me at this point)).

These lists are of course not comprehensive. Shows like House, the CSI trifecta, and the glut of reality crap like American Idol and The Bachelor will surely be back, so I didn't focus on them. Once the upfronts are officially announced, I'll post a comprehensive list for each network (including new pilots for next fall), but until then, it's the shows that have uncertain fates that get the attention.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted. Till then, I'll just be sitting here, on pins and needles, hoping to hell my shows come back next year... Sigh.

Lie to Me (no really, you'll have to to get me to watch this show)

Well, it just goes to show that a good cast and promising premise do not necessarily a great show make. Lie to Me, one of Fox's midseason replacements, premiered last Wednesday, and while the critics I've come across have been fairly generous, I will be far less forgiving. I watch a lot of TV and my standards are strictly observed.

Following in the unending line of procedurals, Lie to Me focuses on a team of agenty type people who have been trained in the elusive art of lie detection. It's not the strongest premise in the world, but with Tim Roth and Kelli Williams at the helm, and in spite of the oh-so-formulaic elements (e.g. a new agent joins the team and acts as the audience's way in to a new world), I had some hopes for this show. I was willing to go with the fairly cheesy premise if the stories were solid, but the stories were, well, less than solid... It was all really more in the realm of Ooblick...

Anyway, it wasn't that the story of the week was insanely terrible or that the group dynamic was fatally flawed, but the show's failings really revolved around an inherent problem with the show's concept. For the audience to see these agents as badasses who can fight crime thanks to their specialized training (as is the overarching premise of so many shows out there, particularly procedurals), the abilities they possess need to be truly unique. These agents are able to detect micro-expressions or minute changes in voice and behavior that allow them to tell when someone is lying. Unfortunately, because the people on this show are actors and are all lying basically anyways, there can't be any genuing micro-expressions or tells that they're lying, so the actors have to consciously make those expressions, which invariably makes them neither micro nor hardly perceptible.

The show essentially operates on the specious belief that the audience can't tell when people are lying and that they can't tell that the actors are acting. In order to set these agents apart from the regular people out there, they need a set of skills that most people don't have (e.g., I can't diffuse a bomb like Sydney Bristow, I can't diagnose people like Dr. House, I can't remove my sunglasses with earnest self-importance like David Caruso (who can?) etc.). Well, I hate to break it to you, show, but most of your audience has a least a decent ability to sense bullshit. Indeed, it's the truly rare individual who believes everything he or she hears. And given that the actors on the show have to exaggerate all their micro-expressions to the point of not being micro at all, it's pretty damn easy to tell who's lying and who's not. Because it's so patently apparent, it becomes unbelievably annoying that these characters seem to think they have some fantastic ability that makes them super cool or something. It makes it even more annoying when you, the audience member, can easily tell that a character is lying, but a lie-detectin' dream team member can't.

At one point during the show, Kelli Williams' character's husband shows up and says he's late because he got stuck at the office or something. I know he's lying, everyone else on the show knows he's lying, but Kelli doesn't. She's supposed to be some specially trained whatever but can't tell he's lying/probably cheating on her? Ummm.... okay? I'm hopeful that she actually does know that he's lying and is toying with him, but I'm not holding out hope. The most annoying part of that scene was that one of the onlookers mentioned the fact that the husband was lying as though it was some startling revelation. Yeah, no. Everyone watching knew that was the case as well.

What's more, the show also operates on the ridiculous assumption that people only ever lie with the belief that people will believe the lie. At one point, Tim Roth is waiting for a parking space when a lurker sneaks into it before he has the chance. Tim accosts the man who says he didn't notice Tim waiting for the space. Well, Tim brilliantly uses his super skills to point out that the man was lying. As though the guy thought (or cared) for even one second that this guy believe his lie! Well no duh he saw you, Tim. He just didn't care. And if he actually thought for even a second that you'd believe him, he's probably dumb enough to have actually not noticed you there, so you can't really blame him one way or the other.

I don't know. Maybe I just watch too much TV and that's why I could see the plot twists a mile away and knew that the characters were lying (and much more damningly, why they were lying--yeah, my mother and I had the whole storyline figured out in the first 20 minutes). Or maybe this genre is overdone. Or perhaps this show really is just kinda, sorta mediocre and has adopted a concept that seems promising on paper, but falters in execution. It's probably a bit of all three, but that's exactly why a show that uses this kind of formula has to have something special to offer--some sort of twist or perspective that keeps it fresh. Lie to Me has no such specialness. And it's kind of a shame... I have to admit, on paper, I thought this concept would work a lot better than it does. The actual skill of reading micro-expressions is extremely interesting, but on the show, it just comes across as lame and condescending.

I'll be giving Lie to Me a couple of more weeks to hopefully find its footing, but I'm not sure it's salvageable. The acting is good and the stories weren't terrible, but when the basic premise is flawed, it makes it hard to really find a foothold. It's a pity, but I have to say that Lie to Me isn't worth your time. I've seen more than a few shaky pilots that turned into really good serieseses, but that's when I saw a lot of promise in the premise. I don't think Lie to Me has enough promise...

I gave Lie to Me a C-/D+. It wasn't a total train wreck, but it goes as far off the rails as possible without garnering such a distinction.

I'll let you know if it miraculously gets better in the next few episodes. It's happened before, but not often...

FOX's Midseason Schedule

After a fairly dismal fall pilot season (this is hopefully the last time I'll rail against the disastrous writers' strike--I'm letting it go, I promise), winter is upon and and the new year is just around the corner. And we all know what that means. Christmas? Celebrations? New Year's resolutions? Yeah, not so much.

Midseason replacements!

It's that most glorious time of year after the shock and pain of watching some of your favorite shows get the axe has been tempered and you're ready to open your heart to some new hopefuls. Due to the delay in pilot season, this midseason is more crowded than most. Henceforth, for the sake of time and sanity, most of the descriptions and reviews below are not my own. I'll be doing this for each of the major networks and the same principles apply. I've scoured the web and compiled as much decent information as I can on these shows, but didn't have the motivation to rewrite anything into any sort of cohesive review. I have offered my two cents here and there, but for the most part, these next few posts will be gleaned from all over the place and the views and opinions expressed are not necessarily reflective of myself, my network, or my parent companies.

With that out of the way, here's what the Fox network has to offer for midseason. Besides nauseating amounts of American Idol.

DOLLHOUSE:

I've already lauded Dollhouse's creative team and concept numerous times, so I'll keep this short. I've been hearing some concerning and rather dismaying reviews of the show, but I'm keeping the faith (heh, no pun intended). Other articles that I've read have bolstered my confidence, but I plan on remaining cautiously optimistic. No matter what I come across, I'll be there with bells on when Dollhouse premieres on Friday (yeah, I know), February 13th.

In case you're out of the loop, here is the network's summary of the show:

• Joss Whedon, creator of groundbreaking cult favorites "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Firefly," returns to television and reunites with fellow "Buffy" alumna Eliza Dushku for a thrilling new drama, DOLLHOUSE.
  
  ECHO (Dushku) is an "Active," a member of a highly illegal and underground group who have had their personalities wiped clean so they can be imprinted with any number of new personas. Confined to a secret facility known as the "Dollhouse," Echo and the other Actives including SIERRA (Dichen Lachman, "Neighbours") and VICTOR (Enver Gjokaj, "The Unit") carry out engagements assigned by ADELLE (Olivia Williams, "X-Men: The Last Stand," "Rushmore"), one of the Dollhouse leaders. The engagements cater to the wealthy, powerful and connected, and require the Actives to immerse themselves in all manner of scenarios - romantic, criminal, uplifting, dangerous, comical and the occasional "pro bono" good deed.
  
  After each scenario, Echo, always under the watchful eye of her handler BOYD (Harry Lennix, "Commander in Chief," 24), returns to the mysterious Dollhouse where her thoughts, feelings and experiences are erased by TOPHER (Fran Kranz, "Welcome to the Captain"), the Dollhouse's genius programmer. Echo enters the next scenario with no memory of before. Or does she?
  
  As the series progresses, FBI Agent PAUL SMITH (Tahmoh Penikett, "Battlestar Galactica") pieces together clues that lead him closer to the Dollhouse, while Echo stops forgetting, her memories begin to return and she slowly pieces together her mysterious past.

LIE TO ME:

Well, what can I say? Here we have yet another procedural where the main character's seemingly preternatural abilities solve crimes in unconventional ways. Yeah, this one looks a whole lot like The Mentalist, but with less Simon Baker... Tim Roth is a pretty incredible actor, however, and this show has significantly less Robin Tunney, so it really does have a lot going for it. Geez, if they could just go back in time and recast Robin Tunney's role, that show would be so much better. Awh, hindsight. Oh wait, no, she's been dead weight in everything she ever been in. Seems like the brass at CBS probably should have noticed that.

Anyway, here's the official description:

• From writer Samuel Baum ("The Evidence") and the executive producers of "24" and "Arrested Development" comes LIE TO ME, a drama series inspired by a real-life specialist who can read clues embedded in the human face, body, and voice to expose the truth in criminal investigations.

  When you scratch your chin, wring your hands, wrinkle your nose, or swallow too much, DR. CAL LIGHTMAN knows you're lying. He doesn't just think so, he knows so, because he's taken his exceptional skills of observation to become the foremost deception expert in the country. Being a human lie detector, Cal can uncover the deepest secrets and crack the hardest cases. More accurate than any polygraph test, he knows when those in front of him are being less than forthcoming, be they family, friends, or complete strangers.

  Cal heads up a private agency contracted by the FBI, local police, law firms, corporations, and private individuals when they hit roadblocks in their searches for the truth. Joining him are a variety of experts in the field of behavioral evaluation: DR. GILLIAN FOSTER is a gifted psychologist and Cal's professional partner, a woman whose guidance Cal needs, whether he knows it or not; WILL LOKER is Cal's lead researcher, and he's so aware of the human tendency to lie that he's decided to uncomplicate matters and practice what he terms "radical honesty": he says everything on his mind at all times. RIA TORRES, the newest member of the team, arrives at the truth differently by acting more on instinct and using her natural, less-studied ability to read body language and catch certain clues that Cal's other pledges may miss.

  Brian Grazer, David Nevins, and Samuel Baum serve as executive producers in conjunction with 20th Century Fox Television on this intriguing character drama based on the science of emotion. The show will tell stories that are not simply about the search for an elusive criminal, but also about the search for something even more difficult to pin down: fundamental human truth.

  LIE TO ME probes how people can deceive themselves just as easily as they deceive others, and explores the idea that there's nothing more revealing than when we choose to tell the truth and when we decide to lie.

SIT DOWN, SHUT UP:

I honestly haven't heard much about this one. It's a half-hour animated comedy from the team that brought us Arrested Development and features the voice talents of Will Arnett and Jason Bateman, so I'll be giving it a shot. Of course, it also features a writer who worked on Two and a Half Men, so I'll only be giving it one shot. And the fact that it's a remake of an Australian show doesn't exactly bode well for the show (Kath and Kim, anyone?), but this genuinely does seem a lot more promising (insanely low bar duly noted).

Here's the official write-up:

• From Emmy Award-winning writer Mitchell Hurwitz ("Arrested Development") and Eric and Kim Tannenbaum ("Two and a Half Men") comes SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, an animated comedy that focuses on the lives of eight staff members at a high school in a small northeastern fishing town (Go Baiters!) who never lose sight of the fact that the children must ALWAYS come second. We watch them grapple with their own egos, needs and personal agendas, their petty insecurities and prejudices, unrequited loves, and ruthless battles for power - and that's just at the staff meeting.
  
  SUE SEZNO (Kenan Thompson, "Saturday Night Live"), a woman who frequently says "no," is the acting principal of the school (the actual principal is recovering from a series of unfortunate accidents that might be seen as escape attempts). Then there's Vice Principal STUART PROZACKIAN (Will Forte, "Saturday Night Live") who has a terrifically positive and upbeat attitude...possibly from the performance-enhancing medication he's been secretly put on by the other teachers. There is one educator who feels the focus should be on academics, but despite the old adage, at this school, those who can teach, teach gym - and that's where LARRY SLIMP (Jason Bateman, "Juno," "Arrested Development") has been exiled to. Immensely frustrated, Larry nurses a crush on science teacher MIRACLE GROHE (Maria Bamford, "Stuart Little 2"), a woman whose superficial grasp on science is balanced by her superficial grasp on spirituality. Rounding out the staff is the aging German teacher WILLARD DEUTSCHEBOG (Henry Winkler, "Arrested Development," "Happy Days"), a deeply defeated man whose yearbook quotation reads "If I believed in reincarnation, I'd kill myself tonight." Uptight HELEN KLENCH (Cheri Oteri, "Saturday Night Live"), a librarian whose life's work in research and archiving can now be surpassed by the average Google search from the average cell phone. Proud ANDREW SAPIEN (Nick Kroll, "Best Week Ever," "Cavemen") is the flamboyant drama teacher. And finally there's HAPPY (Tom Kenny, "SpongeBob SquarePants"), the plotting secretive custodian who's assumed to be Hispanic despite the fact that his real name is Muhannad Sabeeh Fa'ach Nuaba.

  With a distinctive new look - a combination of animation against a live-action backdrop - SIT DOWN, SHUT UP is a series for the young and old at heart. It lampoons modern society while exposing the dreams, flaws and struggling humanity of our first and most formative authority figures: teachers.

THE CLEVELAND SHOW:

Yeah, I've got nothin' to offer on this one. This is the first I've heard of it. It's another half-hour animated comedy from Fox, so that already comes with certain expectations. This one isn't really sounding like my cup of tea, so, yeah...

Here's the description:

• Many years ago, CLEVELAND BROWN (voiced by Mike Henry) was a high school student madly in love with a beautiful girl named DONNA. Much to his dismay, his love went unrequited, and Donna wound up marrying another man. Cleveland once told Donna he would always love her, and if this man ever done her wrong, he'd be there when she called.

  Well, this man done her wrong.

  Donna's husband skipped town with another woman, leaving Donna with a daughter and a baby. Now she's come to Cleveland and offered him another chance at love. Unattached after the Loretta-Quagmire debacle and true to his word, Cleveland joyously accepts and he and CLEVELAND JR. move to Stoolbend, VA, to join their new family.

  Once in Stoolbend, Cleveland has a few surprises in store for him, including a flirtatious new stepdaughter, a 5-year-old stepson who loves the ladies, as well as a collection of neighbors that includes a loudmouth redneck couple, a British family seemingly stuck in the Victorian era and a family of bears living at the end of the block.

  FAMILY GUY was only the beginning. Get ready for THE CLEVELAND SHOW (working title)!

OUTNUMBERED:

This looks completely awful. And it's yet another remake of a foreign show (this time it's the British who get to cringe at us). I'll be passing on this one. Wow. Fortunately, I didn't come across any premiere date for this little gem, so hopefully it was scrapped before it ever made it on to the schedule.

If you're feeling masochistic, here's what you can expect:

• OUTNUMBERED takes a fresh and hilarious approach to the staid family sitcom. The show offers "Curb Your Enthusiasm"-style improvised dialogue with a "Malcolm in the Middle"-like premise about the triumphs and travails of parenting. The adult actors are scripted, while the children's dialogue is improvised and off-the-cuff.

  No one ever said parenting was easy. You make the rules up as you go, and some days dealing with your bundles of joy leaves you at your wits' end. For GREG (Ken Marino, "Veronica Mars") and JENNA EMBRY (Brooke Bloom, "CSI: Miami"), whose 6-year-old LILY (Alina Foley, "Days of Our Lives") has the diva act down pat, 7-year-old JACK (Aidan Potter, "Opposite Day") lies with the dexterity of a con-artist and pre-teen KYLE (Ridge Canipe, "Walk The Line") is...well, a pre-teen, it's three against two and they're OUTNUMBERED. Rounding out the madness in Greg and Jenna's lives are TANYA (Beth Dover, "Criminal Minds"), Jenna's slightly off-balance spiritual-healing sister, and EDDIE (Bill English, "Cavemen"), Greg's wheeling-and-dealing, fast-talking salesman brother. These two end up being more of a liability than an asset to the family.

  Based on the hit British series, OUTNUMBERED is written and executive-produced by Larry Levin ("Dr. Doolittle").

COURTROOM K:

If you're not in the mood for yet another crime procedural, how about yet another courtroom drama to whet your palate? I enjoy the occasional courtroom drama, and as I don't currently have one in my rotation, I'll likely give this one a shot. Plus, Alfred Molina is excellent (and I'm not sure why he's doing TV, but I'll take it), so it has some potential. I couldn't find a premiere date for this one either, so it might have already bit the dust, but if not, enjoy the litigiousness.

Here's the official description:

• From executive producer Paul Attanasio (HOUSE, "Homicide: Life on the Street") comes COURTROOM K, a darkly comedic look at the life of a courthouse in a Midwestern city.

  An American courtroom is the last bastion of absolute feudal power, and upon this throne sits dictatorial JUDGE HAROLD ROBAR (Alfred Molina, "Spider-Man 2," "The Da Vinci Code"), a former trial lawyer who is completely convinced he can do both the prosecutor's and the defense lawyer's jobs better than either can do it themselves. Gruff, sarcastic and lovable JUDGE ROBAR does not suffer fools gladly, but he will gladly make fools suffer.

  COURTROOM K centers on a group of public servants who cope daily with the basic fact that no one gets in legal trouble for a smart reason. This cast of characters includes District Attorney KENT PUCKER (Michael Landes, "Final Destination 2"), a self-deluded Midwestern booster with a joyful disregard for his own insensitivity; Public Defender MARIJANE DIEHL (Megan Dodds, "Not Going Out"), whose grace under pressure is tested by the insanity of the system; and Diehl's boss, DANIEL JUNE (Jonathan Sadowski, TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES), a clever, boyish bureaucrat 10 years younger than her. Filling out this family are court reporter ROSE MARIE CHEEKS (Noureen DeWulf, "Ocean's Thirteen") and ORTHA SCHUNK (Diana Maria Riva, "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip"), Judge Robar's court clerk who knows him so well, she could be considered his "work wife."