The Dead, the Mostly Dead, and the Slightly Alive

For some reason I keep thinking it's June next week... Perhaps it's because Burn Notice returns on June 4th (booyah! my god, I love that show), but I just can't seem to acknowledge that May is still very much in existence and means I'll have to wait four more weeks for Michael Weston and company to start blowing things up once again.

Whatever the reason May has fallen of my head, fact is, it's here to stay, and television-wise, it's actually a very important month.

Aside from being a sweeps month and one of the best month's for season finales, it's also upfront season. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, the "upfronts" are the season schedules for each of the networks. It's during this time that viewers get to find out which shows got picked up for next season, which shows got the axe, and what new pilots are in the works.

For a professional television watcher such as myself, the upfronts are kind of like the draft (as I hesitantly dip my toe into a sports metaphor)... Shows get picked up, fired, and traded, the schedules get jumbled, and I have to completely reorient myself. As frightening as it can be at times (what with the vast majority of my shows currently teetering on the bubble), it's also one of the most fun (for someone as pathetic as I am, that is).

For some unknown reason, NBC's upfronts will be on November 5th, while the other networks won't be until the 18th through the 21st. Maybe they're hoping that announcing first will give them some sort of edge? Lord knows they could use the help, but I just don't think it'll do them a whole lot of good. Whatever. Most of my bubble shows are on NBC, so the less time I have to wait, the better.

Anyway, here are the latest details on pick-ups and cancellations (go here for shows that were picked up or axed earlier), and a few predictions about the bubble shows that currently on the endangered TV list.

OFFICIAL PICK-UPS:

• Grey's Anatomy (Every time I see anything about this show, I find myself ever so glad we broke up. Although I'm hearing Izzie is on her death bed these days, so I might just have to tune in for her untimely (in that it should have come three years ago) demise. Although imminent death would be about the only way she could possibly become whinier... Maybe I'll pass after all.)
  
• Private Practice (Oh lordy, I don't watch this show, but I came across this clip and about died. I tell ya what, wow/oy/ugh/seriously?)


• Ugly Betty (which I'm a little surprised at...)


• Lost


• Desperate Housewives
  
• Brothers & Sisters


• Dancing with the Stars (injuring "celebrities" for yet another season)


• The Big Bang Theory (picked up for 2 more seasons)


• How I Met Your Mother (also picked up for 2 more seasons--yay!)


• Heroes (Although the show has been sucking it up lately, it still does very well overseas and with Bryan Fuller back on the team, I've heard that creatively, it's in a much better place than when Heroes and I broke up earlier this year. It was picked up for next season, but only an 18 episode order, as opposed to this season's 24 or 25 (which felt more like 86 or 117)).


• Two and a Half Men (got picked up for the next 3 seasons--gag me)


• 24


• Friday Night Lights (I believe it's another weird, DirecTV something or other, but one way or another, it's alive and kicking (heh, no pun intended))


• Breaking Bad


• The Tudors


• Law & Order: SVU

OFFICIALLY DEAD AS A DEAD DEAD:

• Life on Mars


• Knight Rider


• Chopping Block (the title alone was just begging for cancellation)


• Lipstick Jungle (after about of dozen horror-movie style returns from the dead, I think this one is finally over with)
  
• Trust Me (wasn't a terrible show, but it was kind of painful to watch. You have to try pretty hard to make Erik MacCormack and Tom Cavanaugh unlikeable, but I'll be damned if they didn't succeed with flying colors)
  
• According to Jim

Those were the shows that I've heard official news about. Below are the shows that are still unofficially anything...

GOOD AS DEAD:

• Kings (Well made, ambitious, and had a lot of great elements to work with, but it never found an audience. Also, it was more than a bit of a downer... Seriously, a little levity would have gone a long way. It started on Sundays as NBC's grandiose new drama, then it was banished to the Saturday death slot, then, just when you thought it couldn't get worse, it's been pulled from the schedule entirely. I'm hearing the remaining episodes of its 13 episode order will air this summer. Ouch.)
  
• Better Off Ted (This is a real shame. It's a great show, but Americans have truly, truly, terrible taste (see Two and a Half Men's pick-up status above for reference). I'd like to think that this little gem had a chance of being picked up, but the ratings are pretty abysmal and the show is actually good, so between those two factors, it doesn't stand much of a chance. Bah!)


• Terminator: The Sarah Connors Chronicles (The official word hasn't come down from on high, but multiple sources confirm that the show is dead. I never watched this show, but I hear it was quite good and anything with a Whedon alum on board deserves better than Fox has to offer.)

ON LIFE SUPPORT:

• Dollhouse (She ain't dead yet, but things are looking pretty grim. Joss mentioned in an interview recently that a second season pick-up is entirely possible, but after looking at last Friday's numbers, I'm not holding my breath. Let's just say it was a tough call between putting this show in the category above or this one. I would be thrilled if it got picked-up, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up (read: get any hope at all). It has turned into a pretty kick-ass series and I'll be sad to see it go. Here's hoping for a miracle.)


• Chuck (Although Chuck has always struggled a bit in the ratings department, deep down I think it'll get picked up. The brass at NBC like the show and have shown quite a bit of support in the past. I like to think that the powers that be realize that Chuck is in quite possibly the worst timeslot ever conceived, and that that has a lot to do with its ratings woes. Seriously, it's up against House, Dancing with the Stars, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, and Gossip Girl. Monday at 7 is a very busy time for me... Plus, the grassroots efforts by fans and the show's cast have garnered quite a bit of media attention of late, so I think NBC will keep it, even if just to save face. They don't have a whole lot of successful shows these days, and certainly none with as devoted a following. In short, go to Subway this weekend and help the cause!)
  
• Life (another one of my darlings that has struggled in the ratings department. Honestly, the ratings aren't terrible and given the number of times it's been moved around on the schedule, it's performing better than I would have thought. The overhead on this kind of show usually isn't too insane, and we all know people love their procedurals, so I have a little hope that Life will survive. More than for Dollhouse, but not as much as for Chuck. It's prognosis is somewhere in between, I'd say. Even though season two kind of lost its way here and there, it ended strong and I'm keeping the faith.)
  
• The Unusuals (its ratings aren't terrible, but they've been slipping week-to-week. It's a solid show with a premise that should have mass appeal, but it just isn't finding a huge audience. I'd really like to see this show come back for a second season, but unless the ratings pick up, or at very least, stabilize, it doesn't look too likely).

LOOKING GOOD:

• Castle (I'm very pleased that a pick-up for Castle is looking fairly likely. The ratings aren't insanely spectacular or anything, but they're good and hold steady week-to-week. Also, ABC doesn't really have much else in terms of a procedural, so I think they'll keep Castle around for next year. I sure as hell hope so. What at first struck me as a piece of harmless fluff that could flesh out my second tier shows has quickly become one of my favorite shows on TV, first tier all the way. Finally! A show with Nathan Fillion that might survive! Yay!)


• Eleventh Hour (The ratings are actually quite good (in spite of CBS's ostensible lack of support for the show). I'm hearing Marley Shelton might not be back next year, which for a show with only two series regulars, she's half the show... I think this show could really benefit from an overhaul, so if it gets picked up, here's hoping that make a lot of changes. The show needs a home base and more than two regular characters.)


• Lie to Me (It's really not that good of a show, but I have to admit it's gotten a lot better since its first couple of episodes. It's a third tier show through and through, but it's toned down its "we're these incredible specialists who have the unique ability to spot obvious lying" overtones and that has made it a lot easier to watch. I still fast-forward through parts of every episode though... Anyway, the ratings are pretty good, but could certainly be better. I think Fox will keep this one around, especially with Prison Break ending and 24 getting on in years, it could use another consistent player.)


• Samantha Who? (I was honestly a little surprised that Ugly Betty got an early pick-up and Sam Who? didn't... I think it still has a good chance of being picked up, but the early pick up announcement made it a little uncertain. It's a decent show, but I only caught the first few episodes. The concept doesn't leave room for much longevity, so I can see where ABC might be on the fence with this one...)


• Scrubs (strange as it may sound, it's looking more and more like Scrubs might get picked-up for another season... The real contingency is which actors would be willing to come back to the show. If enough regulars agree to come back, it'll most likely get picked up, if not, it's much less likely.)
  
• Southland (It has only aired a couple of episodes so far (which is the only reason I didn't put it in the "Definite Pick-Ups" category), but the numbers are solid and NBC has been pushing hard for it. With ER over and buried (finally), they've been looking for a new drama to fill that slot and it appears they may have found it. The show doesn't really do it for me, but it's well made and I can see where it could find a sizable audience. Another good sign, now that Kings has been yanked and sent to the Summer Cemetery, reruns of Southland are airing in its place. Bad for Kings, good for Southland. It's nice to see Ryan Atwood getting work...)
  
• Privileged (shockingly enough, the little show that could might actually make it. The CW doesn't really have a whole of shows to hang on to, and with most of their returning shows getting older and more ridiculous, Privileged may very well be picked up. I've been hearing good things about its possible return lately, so although I don't really care one way or the other and have never seen a full episode, good for them...)

DEFINITE PICK-UPS:

• The Mentalist (although official word hasn't come down yet, this mediocre show was this year's breakaway hit for some unknown reason. Oh wait, Americans really love bad television. This show isn't a total disaster, but that's about the best I have to say. It's watchable, but it'll never break out of its third tier distinction unless it really starts bringing its A-game (assuming such a thing exists). Have no fear Mentalist fans, Simon Baker will be back next year, smarmily pompous as ever, along with Robin Tunney's dead eyes and hollow head. Yay...)
  
• Fringe (again, nothing official, but Fringe is pretty much a lock for next year. I didn't survive past the first 6 or 7 episodes, but I hear the show has really hit its stride these days. The ratings are solid, and Fox has shown considerable faith in the show. I'm confident of a pick-up and will be pretty surprised if it gets the axe (even though this is Fox we're talking about and nothing should shock me at this point)).

These lists are of course not comprehensive. Shows like House, the CSI trifecta, and the glut of reality crap like American Idol and The Bachelor will surely be back, so I didn't focus on them. Once the upfronts are officially announced, I'll post a comprehensive list for each network (including new pilots for next fall), but until then, it's the shows that have uncertain fates that get the attention.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted. Till then, I'll just be sitting here, on pins and needles, hoping to hell my shows come back next year... Sigh.

CBS: Standard Operating Procedurals

It finally happened. After spinning CSI off into every possible direction, CBS finally decided they'd spun it as far as it would go... we hope...

Apparently CBS (and the world at large) has finally had their fill of CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: NY, and Without a Trace (yep, that was spun off of CSI, in case you didn't know). Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm not absolutely dying to see CSI: Boise or anything, because I think we're all gearing up for that one, but honestly, there are only so many ways you can tweak a procedural before it's overdone...

Or so one would have thought.

Yes, that's right. Although no new offerings of CSI are plaguing CBS's new fall line-up, two of the very few new shows slated to run are procedurals (because clearly CBS didn't have nearly enough). Quick TV lesson: A "procedural" is a show that involves a case or a mystery that is solved each week. The central A-plot of each episode (or series of episodes) revolves around the steps taken to solve whatever it is the characters are trying to solve. Shows like Criminal Minds, Cold Case CSI, and Law & Order are crime procedurals. A show like House is considered a medical procedural. Even Pushing Daisies and Veronica Mars could be considered procedurals in that there's a mystery each week to be solved. When you look at CBS's line-up, I kid you not, more than 2/3rds of the programming falls into the crime procedural category. And from looking at the new fall season, clearly they're trying to push that into 3/4ths territory... Yay... I can hardly wait... [Sarcasm sufficiently noted? Super, let's move on.]

Not that I hate procedurals, but they're completely overdone as far as I'm concerned. Between the family of CSIs and the brotherhood of Law & Orders, the amount of related programming at a wedding of the two would make a Bristow/Derevko reunion look positively sparce by comparison. It's kind of ridiculous, but here we go with two more charming additions to the bloodbath.

First up, The Mentalist

Per CBS:

The Mentalist stars Golden Globe Award nominee Simon Baker as Patrick Jane, an independent consultant with the California Bureau of Investigation (CBI), who has a remarkable track record for solving serious crimes by using his razor sharp skills of observation. Within the Bureau, Jane is notorious for his blatant lack of protocol and his semi-celebrity past as a psychic medium, whose paranormal abilities he now admits he feigned. Jane's role in cracking a series of tough high-profile cases is greatly valued by his fellow agents. However, no-nonsense Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon openly resists having Jane in her unit and alternates between reluctantly acknowledging Jane's usefulness and blasting him for his theatrics, narcissism and dangerous lack of boundaries. Lisbon's team includes agents Kimball Cho, Wayne Rigsby and rookie member Grace Van Pelt, who all think Jane's a loose cannon but admire his charm and knack for clearing cases.

Hehe. Yeah, so he works for the CBI? Seriously? That's about as close to spinning him off into a CSI as they could get without actually doing so. Way to branch out, CBS. Anyway, here are a couple of clips to show you just how different and edgy this show is going to be:



Apparently the well of TV serial killers has all but run dry, because seriously? Red John? That's your bad guy? I can just see the writers' room: "Red Bobbie Ray? No, not threatening enough... Red Harry? Problematic on several levels... Red Rover? Red Baron? Simply Red? All taken... Red John it is!"

Anyway, to the show's credit, it has Simon Baker in the lead, and he's a pretty decent actor who could certainly anchor a show. Whether or not he's compelling enough to anchor this particular show has a lot to do with him, but much more to do with the show's writing. Having not seen an episode yet, it's hard to judge, but given that he'll have to overcome a hackneyed concept and the almost non-existent acting range of Robin Tunney, I defintely have my reservations. Oh, Robin Tunney. Just keep staring blankly off in to space, Sweetie. She's so bland. I really wish she just would have died off in the House pilot (she played the kindergarten teacher in the first episode), then this wouldn't be an issue...

Here's another clip that gives a bit more in the way of story direction:



In spite of the glut of shows in this particular genre, I'm a bit hopeful for this one. Simon Baker is charming enough and I'm at least mildly intrigued to see his connection to Red John and why he is who he is. It smacks of a more serious version of Psych, but I'm hearing it's actually takes a very different tack. The buzz around the show has been fairly limited, but pretty decent overall.

THE VERDICT: It all really depends on how much you love procedurals. It's by no means my favorite genre, but when it's done right, I can definitely get sucked in. For me, the balance of procedure and character development is key. I err on the side of more character, less step-by-step case solving, so when character development is limited, so is my viewing. I'll be giving this show a chance, but I doubt it will garner a reserved slot in my viewing schedule. I'll more than likely DVR this bad boy and watch it whenever I get an opening.

Next up to bat... Eleventh Hour

Once again, per CBS:

Eleventh Hour, from acclaimed producer Jerry Bruckheimer, follows Dr. Jacob Hood, a brilliant biophysicist and special science advisor to the government, as he investigates scientific crises and oddities. His jurisdiction is absolute and Hood is dogged in his pursuit of those who would abuse and misuse scientific discoveries and breakthroughs for their own gain. His passion and crusade is to protect the substance of science from those with nefarious motives. He is called in at the eleventh hour and he represents the last line of defense. Special Agent Rachel Young is the decorated FBI protection officer assigned to watch Hood’s back.

This show is based on a British series that starred Patrick Stewart, so right off the bat (note continued lame baseball cliches), I have to approach with prejudice. American imports are only very rarely any good and almost never exceed the quality of the foreign version. However, The Office managed to borrow from the Brits and turn it into one of my all-time favorite shows, which in my opinion, is even better than the British version (which set the bar pretty high). I'm not as hopeful for this one...

Here's a teaser trailer:



Not a DELICATE situation!!! Run! Anyway...

It looks like this particular procedural is taking a hint of the X-Files bent as it tries to retool an overworked genre... I'm hearing that the stroyline in this promo has actually been deemed too squicky for a pilot, so the show has been reworked and the events that would have appeared in the pilot will not appear in a later episode. Historically, NOT a good sign.

I do enjoy Rufus Sewell, however, so I'm trying to force myself to give this a shot. Now, while Sewell always does a great job, I don't think I've ever seen him NOT play a bad guy, so seeing him on the side of truth and justice comes as a bit jarring. Add to that the fact that he has an obligatory hot blond, played by the ever-imposing Marley Shelton to serve as protection, or whatever, and you've got an uncertain premise to work with. "Hi, I'm Bambi! I'll be your bodyguard/will-they-or-won't-they love interest. Just let me get my espionage boots on and I'll be ready for protectioning! Hehe!"

And then there's Marc "I suck the life out of every scene I'm in" Blucas. He made Buffy painful to watch and I don't anticipate any change here. He must have an uncle or cousin with some mob ties or something because I have a hard time seeing how he ever gets cast in anything. He was pretty decent in the episode of House that he was in, but he happened to be dying at the time, so it was unduly satisfying to watch.

And then there's the Jerry Bruckheimer angle. May God have mercy on our TVs. He's produced a few winners in his day, but did anyone see Pearl Harbor? I'd have sooner been present at the actual bombing than have sat through that dreck. It would have been considerably less painful. Oh, the humanity! His presence does not instill confidence...

Anyway, here's another clip to flesh out the experience:



The storyline seems weak and like they're imbuing it with a false sense of urgency and doom. They're really just trying a little too hard to be edgy and cool and it's coming off as creepy. And the whole "I'm the one they call when things go wrong" angle is always hard to pull off, so I'm fairly skeptical of this one. It's all been done, folks, and I'm just not confident that they'll be able to re-invent the wheel successfully.

THE VERDICT: I'll DVR it, but I'm not going to hang on too tightly. This one just doesn't strike me as having much staying power. I don't anticipate hanging in there past the pilot. This one just isn't grabbing me and what little buzz there has been isn't exactly glowing (not that it's terrible, but it merits no hype, that's for sure).

I'd much rather see the British version, quite frankly...



Patrick Stewart can pull off even the weakest of storylines. Rufus Sewell? We'll just have to wait and see.