CBS Upfronts: More of the Same

When it comes to CBS, there are generally very, very few surprises. They have a brand, and with a few rare exceptions, they stick to it. As sick to death as I am of crime procedurals and cop shows, it's hard to argue with their results. Network for network, they have the most consistently successful slate of scripted programming out there. Sure the network skews older in general, but when they end up canceling shows that get ratings other networks would salivate over (*cough* NBC *cough*), it's clear that their tactics are working. Seriously, they could have pretty much renewed their entire slate and it would have been a solid business decision. Not a sound creative decision, but alas, when was the last time anyone in network TV cared about quality anyways?

There were very few surprises overall. The only news that really caught my attention was the fact that The Good Wife is moving to Sunday nights (i.e. the night I've thought the show should air since day 1). I guess in this one sense, the network really did make a vote for quality over ratings. In terms of the key demo, The Good Wife has always been a little worrisome to me. Its overall numbers are great, but it certainly skews older. For this reason, there were some TV ratings watchers out there who put The Good Wife on the bubble. I guess if that's the only factor you're looking at, sure, that makes sense. In terms of every other factor, I was never very worried.

SHOWS NOT RETURNING NEXT SEASON:

• Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior
  I realize that procedual spin-offs are CBS's bread and butter, but seriously, if there were ever a show that wasn't begging for a spin-off, it was Criminal Minds. The show has been on for 6 years now and has basically investigated every conceivable type of murder. That said, I'm still a casual viewer of the original, but could never even kind of care about the spin-off. Forest Whitaker may be an award-winning actor, but I couldn't stand him. To boot, the rest of the cast was nothing to write home about either. Geez, never would I have guessed that the original was so popular because of the great ensemble cast, but here we are. This spin-off never really worked and it won't be missed.
  
  
• Mad Love
  Uh, was I asleep when this was on? I don't even remember it. I'm pretty sure I never even watched the pilot... Well, whatever it was, it no longer is.
  
  
• The Defenders
  I only ever saw the first episode or two, but it was harmless enough. On another network, its ratings might have given it a shot, but at CBS, it didn't stand a chance.
  
  
• $H*! My Dad Says
  I think I speak for all television bloggers when I think the gods that I'll never again have to type that title. Or see the show.

SHOWS THAT WILL BE RETURNING:

• The Amazing Race
  
  
• The Big Bang Theory
  
  
• Blue Bloods
  I have to admit, this was a bit of a surprise. With schedule real estate at a premium, this one could have gone either way. I think keeping it was a good call. The show itself started off strong, then got pretty lame and generic, but it holds its own in a very difficult timeslot (Fridays are no one's friend, not even Tom Selleck), so in spite of lackluster ratings, it was a good call to keep it.
  
  
• Criminal Minds
  It's long in the tooth, but I still enjoy it well enough. Even better? Our good friend JJ has officially returned (take that new blonde!) and odds are Prentiss will be back at some point as well. As far as I know, Paget Brewster's new pilot is a no-go, so she's available. It should be pretty bitchin' to see the other characters' reactions to her return from the dead. They could do a lot of interesting things with that. Still up in the air? Thomas Gibson is still in contract negotiations, so whether or not Hotch comes back next year is up for grabs. My guess is, he'll be back.
  
  
• CSI, CSI: NY, and CSI: Miami
  The unholy trinity will all be back, although CSI has been bumped from its cushy timeslot. Why, it's almost as though the brass at CBS have noticed that it and its ratings kinda suck.
  
  
• The Good Wife
  I've already sung this show's praises, but I can't tip my hat to CBS enough for this show. It's beyond shocking that a show of this quality exists on network TV at all, but the fact that it's on CBS of all networks is astounding. Who'd have guessed? And lest you're one of those people who think it's a show for old people or for Lifetime viewers who got lost, Todd VanDerWerff with AV Club wrote a wonderful piece on the show heralding it as a worthy successor to The Wire (aka the most critically acclaimed television show I've ever come across). He sums up the show's qualities far better than I ever could. Kudos, CBS. Nice job. Also, I'll probably never find the time to write up my thoughts on the finale, but I loved it. $7800? Worth. Every. Penny.
  
  
• Hawaii Five-O
  I gave up on this sucker, but apparently most people stuck with it. It's fate was never in doubt. Not that I follow this show or anything, but I hear that Masi Oka has been made a series regular for next year, in case anyone cares.
  
  
• How I Met Your Mother
  Oh, good god. This season actually started off very promisingly, but ultimately fell apart. By the time we wound down to the final few episodes, I was so annoyed and bored that I could barely keep going. I held on through the finale to see who was getting married (which they'd been teasing since the first episode, if I recall correctly) only to find it was Barney and... yeah, no, they didn't reveal who the bride was. Back in the day, these little teases and mysteries were fun. Now they just piss me off. I'm done, thanks. We're breaking up over the summer.
  
  
• The Mentalist
  I haven't watched this show in ages, but in light of the total lack of anything else new last night, I tuned in for the finale, having been promised that Jane would finally confront Red John. To my surprise, it was actually pretty entertaining. They seem to have realized that Jane was annoying as hell most of the time and have toned that down considerably. Most important though, Red John was played by Bradley Whitford, who is practically perfect in every way. The confrontation was quietly intense and the final moments were shocking, if not entirely surprising. Jane has been saying he'd kill Red John the minute he got the chance, so to see him follow through with that promise, killing a man in the middle of a mall, no less, was pretty dramatic. I'm actually pretty intrigued by how they're going to handle Jane's new status as murderer, so maybe I'll just swap out HIMYM for The Mentalist for a spell. See how that goes.
  
  
• Mike & Molly
  
  
• NCIS and NCIS: Los Angeles
  
  
• Rules of Engagement
  
  
• Two and a Half Men
  Ugh. Even if Ashton somehow made this show 800% better, it would still be unwatchable. I still can't believe anyone watches this shit. I was very hopeful that Charlie's departure would signal the end, but instead, it simply put this crap factory in the media even more. Here's hoping it dies a swift death.
  

On Ratings...

As you all know, I spend a lot of my time focused on TV shows, spoilers, pick-ups and cancellations, and, of import today, ratings.

I try not to operate on the assumption that everyone is as pathetically well-versed in industry speak and the nuances of network practices as I am, but occasionally I fumble. As with anything that someone is really passionate about or that he/she spends enough time on, the things that are obvious to someone who's constantly embroiled in that subject are completely arcane and unknown to others. So let it be with television.

I recently received a comment from someone named Baye who pointed this out to me (that wasn't actually was the intention, but that was the result).

Baye called me out for some perceived ageism that I included in my diatribe about The Mentalist's success last spring (the full post can be found here). This the section Baye took issue with:

In short, the show annoys the hell out of me and I spend the better part of every episode alternately yelling at the TV and weeping for the future of a culture that would love this show so entirely. I'm going to assume that the only people out there with Nielsen boxes (which is a ridiculous, inaccurate, archaic system that doesn't even kind of work--but that's a rant for another day) are old people who don't know how to watch TV online or off their DVR. Seriously, only people over the age of 50 consistently watch TV when it's actually on. As such, shows that appeal to old people (well, not only old people, but they skew older, that's for sure) like Dancing with the Stars, NCIS, and the steaming crap pile that is The Mentalist garner such huge ratings numbers.

Here's what Baye said in response:

Oh! Some serious age bashing going on here. Damn! I was enjoying your blog. Let me assure that I and many of my older cohorts are not only capable of handling whatever technology dishes up, we are participating in developing it. I got my master's in instructional design and educational technology in my fifties with a perfect 4.0 leaving the vast majority of the much younger students in the dust.

The older generation is not responsible for the programing. As anyone in advertising will tell you, advertisers support programing that appeals to younger people. If a show stays on, it is because younger people are watching. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure that doesn't apply to blogs, though.

First off, I totally cop to some ageism. But, I honestly didn't mean it as an absolute assessment of the entire over 50 community. I know more than a few people in their 50s, 60s, and even 70s who know their way around technology way better than I do. But, I have to admit, my perspective is a bit colored by my and my peers' parents. My mother, for example, still hates answering calls on her cell phone. She's gotten considerably better, but for the longest time, when someone would call, she would push "Ignore" or "Cancel". Again and again. I don't know why she thought that would answer the call, but as the person on the other end of the phone trying desperately to get a hold of her, I can assure you, it does not. Anyway, again, not a blanket absolute here, but that's really beside the point.

What really jumped out at me from Baye's comments was the fact that I have a tendency to assume that people know exactly what I'm trying to say even when I'm not even in the same hemisphere as clarity.

The point I was really trying to make about The Mentalist is that it skews older than a lot of other shows in terms of viewers. The show puts up huge numbers in total viewers, but when it comes to the "Key Demo," they don't perform anywhere near as well. The "Key Demo" is ages 18-49. That's why I chose the number 50 when speaking to the age range of viewers for The Mentalist. The key demo (I'm sick of capitalizing and quotation marking, so I ain't gonna) is more important than the overall total number of viewers because advertisers seem to think that before you're 18 and once you hit 50, you don't buy anything anymore. I've never thought using the key demo numbers was all that great an of an idea, but whatever. This means that a show can get pretty paltry total numbers, but if they tend to skew younger, they're considered a success, whereas a show that posts huge total viewers, but skews older, might be seen as struggling. The total number of viewers is important though (even if it's secondary to key demos), and can absolutely affect the fate of a show with less-than-phenomenal key demo numbers. I assume that is the case with The Mentalist. Now, don't get me wrong, The Mentalist's key demo numbers aren't terrible, but compared to their overall viewership, it's clear that the show largely appeals to the over 50 demographic. For example, the ratings for its most recent episode (which aired on 4/22) were thus: It scored a huge 14.78 million total viewers, but only scored a 3.0 in the key demo--not bad, but no where near as spectaculars as the overall total. Ergo, the show skews older, and I hate the show, so I chose to blame the older set (because I have the emotional maturity of a cupcake and always need someone to blame, whether they deserve it or not). Again, a 3.0 is decent and all, especially given that CBS tends to skew older in general, but advertisers would like to see that key demo number higher. By contrast, a show like The Office, which tends to appeal to younger viewers, most recently posted only 7 million total viewers, but scored a 3.6 in the key demo. Another show which skews younger is Glee, which routinely scores above a 5.0 in the key demo--an insanely high number for a scripted program. Glee generally has lower overall viewers than its timeslot competitor NCIS: Los Angeles, but never ever loses in terms of demo numbers. Most recently, NCIS:LA posted more than 3 million more total viewers, but only scored a 3.2 in the demo, compared to Glee's 5.3.

Even though the key demo is the most important number, the number of total viewers is the primary reason shows like The Mentalist and The Good Wife are considered successful. As such, the total number of viewers are a big part of why the crap pile that is The Mentalist is such a force, and such, the reason that those who fall outside the key demo incurred some wrath (not that you key demoers out there are helping the situation--I gave up on the show ages ago and encourage you to follow suit).

This ratings breakdown sometimes helps the shows I watch and it sometimes hurts. The Good Wife tends to skew older and is getting some heat for it. The Good Wife averages a healthy 13 million total viewers each week, but only rates in the 2.3-2.6 range for key demo (even lower than that lately). It's a real shame, because shows can get cancelled for numbers a bit lower than that and The Good Wife is one of my favorites. On the other hand, my CW darlings definitely benefit from key demo ratings. The Vampire Diaries only had 3.4 million total viewers, but scored a 1.6 in the key demo (which for the CW, is awesome). So yeah, The Vampire Diaries has about 1/5 the total viewership of The Mentalist, but manages over 1/2 the demo rating.

From a technology standpoint, shows that skew younger also benefit from considerably higher DVR viewings and online support. Much more so than shows that skew older. That's why I made the leap that, in general, shows that skew older have higher total viewers because older viewers are more likely to watch a show live. For instance, shows like Gossip Girl and The Vampire Diaries have relatively very low live ratings, but the shows benefit hugely from DVR and online viewings. Those numbers aren't as important as live viewing and key demos or anything, but they still matter. Shows like The Mentalist don't benefit much at all from other viewing methods because most viewers watch the show live.

Anyway, I realize that most of you totally don't care about any of that, but in case you're wondering how I come up with my theories on which shows will survive and which will get canceled, this is a big part of it. I don't keep up with the ratings of shows I don't watch all that often, but I always check to see how new shows are doing and how my current slate of programming fares week to week. On a related note, say goodbye to Happy Town and Miami Medical. There's no way in hell they'll be joining us next season (barring a Dollhouse-sized miracle for the 9 people who actually watched either of those crappy beyond crappy shows).

Long story short, Baye, if you're out there, I hope my Mentalist-induced ageism didn't drive you off for good. I love, love, love the fact that millions of people 0ver 50 are tuning into The Good Wife live, because it's a fantastic show, and they're a big part of why it's still on the air. My ire over the fact that the over 50 set is watching The Mentalist in throngs says more about The Mentalist being a terrible show than anything else. Good god, I tried to watch a bit of it the other day and just couldn't get through 5 minutes without wanting to throw something at the TV.

Mea Culpa activated!

The Curious Case of The Mentalist's Success

When The Mentalist premiered last fall, it actually struck me as better than I would have expected. That's not to say it was an excellent show or anything, but I had hopes that it would turn into a better procedural than most. Well, unlike most shows that start off slow and get better as the first season progresses, The Mentalist started off decent enough and very quickly devolved into the murky waters of the practically unwatchable. The worst part? The worse the show gets, the more viewers it gets. Oh, America. Will you never learn?

In a crop of otherwise lackluster new series last fall (ratings-wise), The Mentalist emerged as the only real runaway hit. Many of the other new shows were immediately far superior in quality, but somehow CBS once again sucked in record numbers of viewers for yet another mediocre crime procedural. I'm thinking it must be a Stonecutters plot...

Anyway, it started off okay-ish, if hackneyed, and given it's uncrowded timeslot, I penciled in a space for The Mentalist on my third tier and watched it only when there was absolutely nothing else.

After the past few episodes however, I think it may have to be bumped off the viewing list completely. In short, the show annoys the hell out of me and I spend the better part of every episode alternately yelling at the TV and weeping for the future of a culture that would love this show so entirely. I'm going to assume that the only people out there with Nielsen boxes (which is a ridiculous, inaccurate, archaic system that doesn't even kind of work--but that's a rant for another day) are old people who don't know how to watch TV online or off their DVR. Seriously, only people over the age of 50 consistently watch TV when it's actually on. As such, shows that appeal to old people (well, not only old people, but they skew older, that's for sure) like Dancing with the Stars, NCIS, and the steaming crap pile that is The Mentalist garner such huge ratings numbers.

Anyway, after this week's episode, I just don't know if The Mentalist will be allowed a spot on my viewing schedule, no matter how desperate I am for programming. It's just too painful.

Let me count the ways...

1) That's not a brilliant deduction, Sherlock, that's lazy, half-assed writing.
This problem presented itself early on in the series (read: about a dozen times in the pilot alone), but I had had hopes that the writers would realize this was a problem and correct things. Yeah, not so much. Basically, Patrick Jane (played by the usually delightful Simon Baker) is a Sherlock Holmes-yish type character who can make keen perceptions about the people around him. The problem is, the writers are just too damned crappy for him to make brilliant deductions based on tiny clues, so they just have him pull random insights out of his head with either no explanation, or a completely crappy explanation. Apparently he could tell that Van Pelt's father was a football coach from the Midwest, but then casually offers no explanation for how he came to this (invariably) correct conclusion. When he does offer an explanation, it's usually painfully ridiculous. Seriously, it usually goes a little something like this: A body is found with no identification. The witless detectives turn to Jane who chimes in with something like, "You see the tiny black smudge on his shoe? Well, clearly this indicates that his family owns an Italian restaurant in Virginia where a bituminous coal mine 6.2 miles up the road deposited coal dust on the sidewalk he takes to work from his one bedroom apartment for which he pays $557 a month in rent to a landlord name Oleg. You people didn't notice that? You're so stupid." Okay, so it's not quite that ridiculous (usually), but on the off chance that the writers even bother to give some sort of explanation, it's outlandish, condescending, and unbelievable and leaves the other characters on the show amazed, dumbfounded, and ultimately useless in the presence of such a supreme genius. Oy. Which brings me to my next point...

2) He's infallible and basically renders the rest of the team completely unnecessary.
Jane has the uncanny ability to make assessments based on nothing. Okay, whatever. If that's where you want this premise to go, fine. But, if that's really what you're going to base your entire show around, he has to have flaws and he has to be wrong at least some of the time. Jane is never ever wrong. He's almost never even a bit off. He pulls fanciful bullshit out of no where and is always spot on. Shows like House and Psych (the far superior predecessor to this kind of idea) both have characters who make deductions based on their observations, but those shows do it right. Dr. House is wrong a hell of a lot of the time, but ultimately works it out in the end. Usually. Even the brilliant Dr. House totally screws up on occasion. While not the norm, the audience at least knows that it's a possibility, and can never be sure he'll swoop in to save the day. His team (well, at least the old team--god, how I miss the old team...) actually helps him get to the right answer and on occasion, beat him to the punch. The crew on The Mentalist basically just have to watch Jane foppishly screwing with people and setting up ridiculous schemes until the end of the episode. They do the standard cop stuff, interviewing people and whatnot, but never really help solve the case in the end. Dull, lame, lazy, stupid. On Psych, from which this concept was originally stolen, bastardized, and resold to the public in a pathetically inferior form with The Mentalist, Shawn makes deductions based on his surroundings, but the writers of that show actually have the skills to make his deductions possible. Also, Shawn is wrong sometimes, and even when he's right, he's never positive he's right until he has more pieces of the puzzle. Gus always helps out and the police actually do their jobs and help solve cases. Jane is certain of everything pretty much all at once. It's lame and it makes the rest of the cast nothing but extraneous fodder for Jane to screw around with and patronize. It's like when someone who's listening to a conversations smugly says, "Interesting," then refuses to say what is interesting. It's pompous and annoying and on this show, constant. Can you say fun to watch? Blah. Which brings me to my next point...

3) He's annoying as all get out and I'd love to see Mary and Marshall kick his ass.
Jane toys with people constantly. Again, other shows seem to be able to make this work. House and Shawn both toy with the people around them on a regular basis, but they're actually likeable--even when House is an ass, he's better than Jane. Now don't get me wrong, Simon Baker is usually quite delightful. On this show? He's so incessantly smug that you just want to slap the hell out of him. On last night's episode, the dead-guy-of-the-week was in witness protection, so the US Marshalls showed up all over the place. Fortunately, In Plain Sight actually got pretty good (second tier, I'd say, if not lower first), so I'm intimately familiar with witsec procedures and whatnot. The whole time Jane was being a pompous jackass, I just kept hoping the next US Marshalls to show up would be Mary and Marshall. Oh, how I'd love to see Mary kick Patrick Jane's sorry ass. Alas, to no avail... Jane will just keep on being the single-faceted impish prick he's always been and the writers of the show will keep thinking that that kind of behavior is actually charming. Which it's not.

4) The writers of this show don't have even the most basic knowledge of the law.
Further, I'm pretty sure they've never seen a movie or TV show about people how have a basic knowledge of the law. The characters' actions are beyond ridiculous, risible, immoral, and unethical, pretty much all of the time. Warrants are almost never obtained, and on the off chance they decide to get one, they somehow get it within a matter of minutes. Whatever the situation, they generally just barge into people's homes willy-nilly and someone will add a throw-away line that explains why they don't have to actually follow any police protocol or, you know, the Constitution. In last night's inexcusable episode, they barge into the home of the dead guy even after the guy's wife tells them they cannot come in and screams at them to leave. Apparently she was in mortal danger (throw away line that makes no sense), so they just stormed in without an invitation or warrant. That, however, pales in comparison to the most ridiculous, unlawful act ever committed on this show (and let me tell ya, I had to special order a bar that high, and then this surpassed it). To get the dead guy's wife to confess to the murder, Patrick Jane literally tells her she has to confess to the murder or die. He even had one of his police friends dress up as a hitman and come to the house as Jane reiterates that unless she confesses, she's going to die. Jane very cleverly (note sarcasm) tape records her confession and then has her hauled off to the pokey. Oh my holy god, that's the most ludicrous thing I've ever seen on this show or any show. Can you say coerced confession?! If that's not duress, I don't know what is! Seriously, I think a hitman is going to shoot me unless I confess to a murder and hell yeah I'll confess to anything! As would anyone else! That tape is completely inadmissible in court and if anything, makes the police case look that much worse. It's unethical and was obtained under duress, but Jane and company act like that was just crack detective work. Without the tape, which is inadmissible, they have no case whatsoever. No hard evidence, no witnesses, no nothing. That wasn't a smooth and clever wrap up to a difficult case, that was an embarrassment. This show's writers have apparently never done any research into the profession they write about all day and have clearly never seen a show written by anyone who has. Utterly inexcusable. That was seriously the last straw. It's not clever and cunning, it's ridiculous, lazy writing, once again.

5) Oh, so predictable.
In spite of the show's ridiculousness and Jane's preternatural ability to draw specific conclusions based on practically nothing, the show is utterly predictable. Nine episodes out of ten, I know who did what and why and how within the first 20 minutes. This again can be largely chalked up to the horrible writing. They focus on things that make the conclusions obvious and when something is genuinely mysterious, Jane pulls the full explanation out of his ass and all is revealed after very little if any effort. It makes it exceedingly unfun to watch and anti-climactic on a regular basis.

6) Robin Tunney.
Bland as ever. 'Nough said. Well, not quite 'nough, I suppose. It's clear that the writers are trying to write her as Jane's foil and that they're pushing for some chemistry between them, but it's a lost cause. The pair have absolutely no chemistry whatsover, let alone a strong romantic vibe. She has no personality, no charm, and near as I can tell, nothing but a hamster wheel in her head. The rest of the supporting cast is decent enough, but with Tunney's character and Patrick Jane at the helm, the show is exceedingly dull.

So there you have it. Just some of the many, MANY reasons this show has gotten pretty damn awful, and yet people keep tuning in. A lot of people. A lot of old people who actually watch TV when it's actually on... Weird, right?

Anyway, if you like this show but are realizing that it actually kinda, sorta, seriously sucks, I'd recommend tuning in to Psych on USA Network instead. Same kinda premise, but insanely awesome instead of completely craptastic. :)

The Dead, the Mostly Dead, and the Slightly Alive

For some reason I keep thinking it's June next week... Perhaps it's because Burn Notice returns on June 4th (booyah! my god, I love that show), but I just can't seem to acknowledge that May is still very much in existence and means I'll have to wait four more weeks for Michael Weston and company to start blowing things up once again.

Whatever the reason May has fallen of my head, fact is, it's here to stay, and television-wise, it's actually a very important month.

Aside from being a sweeps month and one of the best month's for season finales, it's also upfront season. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, the "upfronts" are the season schedules for each of the networks. It's during this time that viewers get to find out which shows got picked up for next season, which shows got the axe, and what new pilots are in the works.

For a professional television watcher such as myself, the upfronts are kind of like the draft (as I hesitantly dip my toe into a sports metaphor)... Shows get picked up, fired, and traded, the schedules get jumbled, and I have to completely reorient myself. As frightening as it can be at times (what with the vast majority of my shows currently teetering on the bubble), it's also one of the most fun (for someone as pathetic as I am, that is).

For some unknown reason, NBC's upfronts will be on November 5th, while the other networks won't be until the 18th through the 21st. Maybe they're hoping that announcing first will give them some sort of edge? Lord knows they could use the help, but I just don't think it'll do them a whole lot of good. Whatever. Most of my bubble shows are on NBC, so the less time I have to wait, the better.

Anyway, here are the latest details on pick-ups and cancellations (go here for shows that were picked up or axed earlier), and a few predictions about the bubble shows that currently on the endangered TV list.

OFFICIAL PICK-UPS:

• Grey's Anatomy (Every time I see anything about this show, I find myself ever so glad we broke up. Although I'm hearing Izzie is on her death bed these days, so I might just have to tune in for her untimely (in that it should have come three years ago) demise. Although imminent death would be about the only way she could possibly become whinier... Maybe I'll pass after all.)
  
• Private Practice (Oh lordy, I don't watch this show, but I came across this clip and about died. I tell ya what, wow/oy/ugh/seriously?)


• Ugly Betty (which I'm a little surprised at...)


• Lost


• Desperate Housewives
  
• Brothers & Sisters


• Dancing with the Stars (injuring "celebrities" for yet another season)


• The Big Bang Theory (picked up for 2 more seasons)


• How I Met Your Mother (also picked up for 2 more seasons--yay!)


• Heroes (Although the show has been sucking it up lately, it still does very well overseas and with Bryan Fuller back on the team, I've heard that creatively, it's in a much better place than when Heroes and I broke up earlier this year. It was picked up for next season, but only an 18 episode order, as opposed to this season's 24 or 25 (which felt more like 86 or 117)).


• Two and a Half Men (got picked up for the next 3 seasons--gag me)


• 24


• Friday Night Lights (I believe it's another weird, DirecTV something or other, but one way or another, it's alive and kicking (heh, no pun intended))


• Breaking Bad


• The Tudors


• Law & Order: SVU

OFFICIALLY DEAD AS A DEAD DEAD:

• Life on Mars


• Knight Rider


• Chopping Block (the title alone was just begging for cancellation)


• Lipstick Jungle (after about of dozen horror-movie style returns from the dead, I think this one is finally over with)
  
• Trust Me (wasn't a terrible show, but it was kind of painful to watch. You have to try pretty hard to make Erik MacCormack and Tom Cavanaugh unlikeable, but I'll be damned if they didn't succeed with flying colors)
  
• According to Jim

Those were the shows that I've heard official news about. Below are the shows that are still unofficially anything...

GOOD AS DEAD:

• Kings (Well made, ambitious, and had a lot of great elements to work with, but it never found an audience. Also, it was more than a bit of a downer... Seriously, a little levity would have gone a long way. It started on Sundays as NBC's grandiose new drama, then it was banished to the Saturday death slot, then, just when you thought it couldn't get worse, it's been pulled from the schedule entirely. I'm hearing the remaining episodes of its 13 episode order will air this summer. Ouch.)
  
• Better Off Ted (This is a real shame. It's a great show, but Americans have truly, truly, terrible taste (see Two and a Half Men's pick-up status above for reference). I'd like to think that this little gem had a chance of being picked up, but the ratings are pretty abysmal and the show is actually good, so between those two factors, it doesn't stand much of a chance. Bah!)


• Terminator: The Sarah Connors Chronicles (The official word hasn't come down from on high, but multiple sources confirm that the show is dead. I never watched this show, but I hear it was quite good and anything with a Whedon alum on board deserves better than Fox has to offer.)

ON LIFE SUPPORT:

• Dollhouse (She ain't dead yet, but things are looking pretty grim. Joss mentioned in an interview recently that a second season pick-up is entirely possible, but after looking at last Friday's numbers, I'm not holding my breath. Let's just say it was a tough call between putting this show in the category above or this one. I would be thrilled if it got picked-up, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up (read: get any hope at all). It has turned into a pretty kick-ass series and I'll be sad to see it go. Here's hoping for a miracle.)


• Chuck (Although Chuck has always struggled a bit in the ratings department, deep down I think it'll get picked up. The brass at NBC like the show and have shown quite a bit of support in the past. I like to think that the powers that be realize that Chuck is in quite possibly the worst timeslot ever conceived, and that that has a lot to do with its ratings woes. Seriously, it's up against House, Dancing with the Stars, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, and Gossip Girl. Monday at 7 is a very busy time for me... Plus, the grassroots efforts by fans and the show's cast have garnered quite a bit of media attention of late, so I think NBC will keep it, even if just to save face. They don't have a whole lot of successful shows these days, and certainly none with as devoted a following. In short, go to Subway this weekend and help the cause!)
  
• Life (another one of my darlings that has struggled in the ratings department. Honestly, the ratings aren't terrible and given the number of times it's been moved around on the schedule, it's performing better than I would have thought. The overhead on this kind of show usually isn't too insane, and we all know people love their procedurals, so I have a little hope that Life will survive. More than for Dollhouse, but not as much as for Chuck. It's prognosis is somewhere in between, I'd say. Even though season two kind of lost its way here and there, it ended strong and I'm keeping the faith.)
  
• The Unusuals (its ratings aren't terrible, but they've been slipping week-to-week. It's a solid show with a premise that should have mass appeal, but it just isn't finding a huge audience. I'd really like to see this show come back for a second season, but unless the ratings pick up, or at very least, stabilize, it doesn't look too likely).

LOOKING GOOD:

• Castle (I'm very pleased that a pick-up for Castle is looking fairly likely. The ratings aren't insanely spectacular or anything, but they're good and hold steady week-to-week. Also, ABC doesn't really have much else in terms of a procedural, so I think they'll keep Castle around for next year. I sure as hell hope so. What at first struck me as a piece of harmless fluff that could flesh out my second tier shows has quickly become one of my favorite shows on TV, first tier all the way. Finally! A show with Nathan Fillion that might survive! Yay!)


• Eleventh Hour (The ratings are actually quite good (in spite of CBS's ostensible lack of support for the show). I'm hearing Marley Shelton might not be back next year, which for a show with only two series regulars, she's half the show... I think this show could really benefit from an overhaul, so if it gets picked up, here's hoping that make a lot of changes. The show needs a home base and more than two regular characters.)


• Lie to Me (It's really not that good of a show, but I have to admit it's gotten a lot better since its first couple of episodes. It's a third tier show through and through, but it's toned down its "we're these incredible specialists who have the unique ability to spot obvious lying" overtones and that has made it a lot easier to watch. I still fast-forward through parts of every episode though... Anyway, the ratings are pretty good, but could certainly be better. I think Fox will keep this one around, especially with Prison Break ending and 24 getting on in years, it could use another consistent player.)


• Samantha Who? (I was honestly a little surprised that Ugly Betty got an early pick-up and Sam Who? didn't... I think it still has a good chance of being picked up, but the early pick up announcement made it a little uncertain. It's a decent show, but I only caught the first few episodes. The concept doesn't leave room for much longevity, so I can see where ABC might be on the fence with this one...)


• Scrubs (strange as it may sound, it's looking more and more like Scrubs might get picked-up for another season... The real contingency is which actors would be willing to come back to the show. If enough regulars agree to come back, it'll most likely get picked up, if not, it's much less likely.)
  
• Southland (It has only aired a couple of episodes so far (which is the only reason I didn't put it in the "Definite Pick-Ups" category), but the numbers are solid and NBC has been pushing hard for it. With ER over and buried (finally), they've been looking for a new drama to fill that slot and it appears they may have found it. The show doesn't really do it for me, but it's well made and I can see where it could find a sizable audience. Another good sign, now that Kings has been yanked and sent to the Summer Cemetery, reruns of Southland are airing in its place. Bad for Kings, good for Southland. It's nice to see Ryan Atwood getting work...)
  
• Privileged (shockingly enough, the little show that could might actually make it. The CW doesn't really have a whole of shows to hang on to, and with most of their returning shows getting older and more ridiculous, Privileged may very well be picked up. I've been hearing good things about its possible return lately, so although I don't really care one way or the other and have never seen a full episode, good for them...)

DEFINITE PICK-UPS:

• The Mentalist (although official word hasn't come down yet, this mediocre show was this year's breakaway hit for some unknown reason. Oh wait, Americans really love bad television. This show isn't a total disaster, but that's about the best I have to say. It's watchable, but it'll never break out of its third tier distinction unless it really starts bringing its A-game (assuming such a thing exists). Have no fear Mentalist fans, Simon Baker will be back next year, smarmily pompous as ever, along with Robin Tunney's dead eyes and hollow head. Yay...)
  
• Fringe (again, nothing official, but Fringe is pretty much a lock for next year. I didn't survive past the first 6 or 7 episodes, but I hear the show has really hit its stride these days. The ratings are solid, and Fox has shown considerable faith in the show. I'm confident of a pick-up and will be pretty surprised if it gets the axe (even though this is Fox we're talking about and nothing should shock me at this point)).

These lists are of course not comprehensive. Shows like House, the CSI trifecta, and the glut of reality crap like American Idol and The Bachelor will surely be back, so I didn't focus on them. Once the upfronts are officially announced, I'll post a comprehensive list for each network (including new pilots for next fall), but until then, it's the shows that have uncertain fates that get the attention.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted. Till then, I'll just be sitting here, on pins and needles, hoping to hell my shows come back next year... Sigh.

TV Roundup--New Shows So Far...

In an unusually sparse line-up of new shows, I've really had to adjust my strategies for this season. Ususally, I have the pleasure of taking chances on probably a dozen new shows and deciding if I should axe any of my usuals in the interest of something shiny... This season? I still have the urge to axe some of my oldies, but haven't a whole lot to replace them with. Henceforth, my schedule is filling up with old stuff I'm kind of sick of and new stuff that isn't that spectacular. Sigh... I'm hopeful the next few weeks of premieres will bolster my schedule, but so far, so not-so-good...

Anyway, here's how things are stacking up so far.

NEW SHOWS THAT I'VE GIVEN A CHANCE:

• FRINGE: This is the show I was most excitedly anticipating, but so far it has been a bit of a letdown. Only three episodes have aired, so I'm not going to give it the old heave-ho just yet, but at the same time, I'm not exactly giddy for each new episode. The concept has merit, but once again, the execution is problematic at best. I'm finding Pacey's snottiness even more unwarranted, especially when hurled at his old, batty father. There's just something about is demeanor that strikes the wrong chord. I find his character the most charming when he's not being a smarmy jackass (which is usually when I'm most delighted with someone) and that's a pretty paltry percentage of the time. Anna Torv isn't doing herself any favors with her character profiile either. She's so dour you either want to smack her or fall asleep. Or, ideally, manage to flail your hand into her face as you unconsciously slump to the floor.
  
  Bottom Line: It's kind of X-Files-y, but not as good. And, if you've seen one 8-year-stint of sci-fi detective work, you've seen 'em all. I'll be giving Fringe a couple more episodes to grab me, but unless Anna Torv is the next sci-fi conundrum they solve (you know, what alien presence could possibly make someone so bland?), I'm doubting it will make it onto my permanent rotation...
  
  
• THE MENTALIST: Okay, I approached this bad boy with more than a little apprehension and a healthy dollop of superciliousness, planning to mock and mame at every turn. Little did I know that it's actually a pretty decent show. The pilot aired the other night (and airs again tonight, if you're interested) and I was genuinely drawn in and entertained. I'm not saying it's the greatest show ever or anything, but for the procedural that it is, it's quite well done.
  
  Simon Baker, the lead actor on the show, is truly the anchor and driving force behind the pilot's success. He plays one of those ever-so-ubiquitous know-it-all types, but rather than being annoying (as is so often the case), his character is quite charming. In an odd twist for a know-it-all detective, he's surprisingly polite and even soft-spoken. His character used to be a fake TV psychic, but after his family is murdered, now uses his powers of, um, menial observation to genuinely help people. His character has a more complex pathology than I was expecting and his genius is unassuming, but influential.
  
  The supporting cast could be better. Without Baker at the helm, I think this would be just another procedural where the maverick genius goes against standard procedure to solve the unsolvable. Robin Tunney, who is dull as ever, fills the requisite role of Baker's foil, playing the rule-abiding, protocol-following straight woman of the pair. It's kind of a one-dimensional, hackneyed role, so I guess for what it's worth, Tunney does what was called for (not that that makes her engaging in any way). As usual... I realize the need for a foil, but I think they could have done a whole lot better.
  
  The whodunnit of the pilot was well thought-out and the mystery was engaging, if not entirely unique (it's a busy genre, what can I say?) The pacing was effective and I didn't find myself getting bored or irritated. If this is a harbinger of mysteries of the week to come, I think the show will do pretty well. Yet again, nothing earth-shattering or spectacular here, but definitely enjoyable. Also, the larger story arc involving Red John has affected Baker's character directly, so it makes for a more engaging season, multi-season, or god help us, series plotline. (For the sake of the show, I'm hopeful they wrap it up at the end of season 1--trust me peeps, it's for the best.)
  
  Bottom Line: If you're in to procedurals (or even if you aren't), The Mentalist is at least worth checking out, even if only for Simon Baker. I'm not sure it's quite good enough to make my permanent rotation, but it's much better than it looks and I think I'll be DVRing this one for weekends and rainy days.

And, as those are the only two new shows that have premiered so far (shockingly, given that Sepetember is almost over), my next roundup will have to be about returning shows. This little post turned into quite a bit more than expected (as is par for the course), so I'm having to break things up. I was going to have one giant monolith of TV reviews, but I find bite size pieces to be a lot easier to swallow.

CBS: Standard Operating Procedurals

It finally happened. After spinning CSI off into every possible direction, CBS finally decided they'd spun it as far as it would go... we hope...

Apparently CBS (and the world at large) has finally had their fill of CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: NY, and Without a Trace (yep, that was spun off of CSI, in case you didn't know). Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm not absolutely dying to see CSI: Boise or anything, because I think we're all gearing up for that one, but honestly, there are only so many ways you can tweak a procedural before it's overdone...

Or so one would have thought.

Yes, that's right. Although no new offerings of CSI are plaguing CBS's new fall line-up, two of the very few new shows slated to run are procedurals (because clearly CBS didn't have nearly enough). Quick TV lesson: A "procedural" is a show that involves a case or a mystery that is solved each week. The central A-plot of each episode (or series of episodes) revolves around the steps taken to solve whatever it is the characters are trying to solve. Shows like Criminal Minds, Cold Case CSI, and Law & Order are crime procedurals. A show like House is considered a medical procedural. Even Pushing Daisies and Veronica Mars could be considered procedurals in that there's a mystery each week to be solved. When you look at CBS's line-up, I kid you not, more than 2/3rds of the programming falls into the crime procedural category. And from looking at the new fall season, clearly they're trying to push that into 3/4ths territory... Yay... I can hardly wait... [Sarcasm sufficiently noted? Super, let's move on.]

Not that I hate procedurals, but they're completely overdone as far as I'm concerned. Between the family of CSIs and the brotherhood of Law & Orders, the amount of related programming at a wedding of the two would make a Bristow/Derevko reunion look positively sparce by comparison. It's kind of ridiculous, but here we go with two more charming additions to the bloodbath.

First up, The Mentalist

Per CBS:

The Mentalist stars Golden Globe Award nominee Simon Baker as Patrick Jane, an independent consultant with the California Bureau of Investigation (CBI), who has a remarkable track record for solving serious crimes by using his razor sharp skills of observation. Within the Bureau, Jane is notorious for his blatant lack of protocol and his semi-celebrity past as a psychic medium, whose paranormal abilities he now admits he feigned. Jane's role in cracking a series of tough high-profile cases is greatly valued by his fellow agents. However, no-nonsense Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon openly resists having Jane in her unit and alternates between reluctantly acknowledging Jane's usefulness and blasting him for his theatrics, narcissism and dangerous lack of boundaries. Lisbon's team includes agents Kimball Cho, Wayne Rigsby and rookie member Grace Van Pelt, who all think Jane's a loose cannon but admire his charm and knack for clearing cases.

Hehe. Yeah, so he works for the CBI? Seriously? That's about as close to spinning him off into a CSI as they could get without actually doing so. Way to branch out, CBS. Anyway, here are a couple of clips to show you just how different and edgy this show is going to be:



Apparently the well of TV serial killers has all but run dry, because seriously? Red John? That's your bad guy? I can just see the writers' room: "Red Bobbie Ray? No, not threatening enough... Red Harry? Problematic on several levels... Red Rover? Red Baron? Simply Red? All taken... Red John it is!"

Anyway, to the show's credit, it has Simon Baker in the lead, and he's a pretty decent actor who could certainly anchor a show. Whether or not he's compelling enough to anchor this particular show has a lot to do with him, but much more to do with the show's writing. Having not seen an episode yet, it's hard to judge, but given that he'll have to overcome a hackneyed concept and the almost non-existent acting range of Robin Tunney, I defintely have my reservations. Oh, Robin Tunney. Just keep staring blankly off in to space, Sweetie. She's so bland. I really wish she just would have died off in the House pilot (she played the kindergarten teacher in the first episode), then this wouldn't be an issue...

Here's another clip that gives a bit more in the way of story direction:



In spite of the glut of shows in this particular genre, I'm a bit hopeful for this one. Simon Baker is charming enough and I'm at least mildly intrigued to see his connection to Red John and why he is who he is. It smacks of a more serious version of Psych, but I'm hearing it's actually takes a very different tack. The buzz around the show has been fairly limited, but pretty decent overall.

THE VERDICT: It all really depends on how much you love procedurals. It's by no means my favorite genre, but when it's done right, I can definitely get sucked in. For me, the balance of procedure and character development is key. I err on the side of more character, less step-by-step case solving, so when character development is limited, so is my viewing. I'll be giving this show a chance, but I doubt it will garner a reserved slot in my viewing schedule. I'll more than likely DVR this bad boy and watch it whenever I get an opening.

Next up to bat... Eleventh Hour

Once again, per CBS:

Eleventh Hour, from acclaimed producer Jerry Bruckheimer, follows Dr. Jacob Hood, a brilliant biophysicist and special science advisor to the government, as he investigates scientific crises and oddities. His jurisdiction is absolute and Hood is dogged in his pursuit of those who would abuse and misuse scientific discoveries and breakthroughs for their own gain. His passion and crusade is to protect the substance of science from those with nefarious motives. He is called in at the eleventh hour and he represents the last line of defense. Special Agent Rachel Young is the decorated FBI protection officer assigned to watch Hood’s back.

This show is based on a British series that starred Patrick Stewart, so right off the bat (note continued lame baseball cliches), I have to approach with prejudice. American imports are only very rarely any good and almost never exceed the quality of the foreign version. However, The Office managed to borrow from the Brits and turn it into one of my all-time favorite shows, which in my opinion, is even better than the British version (which set the bar pretty high). I'm not as hopeful for this one...

Here's a teaser trailer:



Not a DELICATE situation!!! Run! Anyway...

It looks like this particular procedural is taking a hint of the X-Files bent as it tries to retool an overworked genre... I'm hearing that the stroyline in this promo has actually been deemed too squicky for a pilot, so the show has been reworked and the events that would have appeared in the pilot will not appear in a later episode. Historically, NOT a good sign.

I do enjoy Rufus Sewell, however, so I'm trying to force myself to give this a shot. Now, while Sewell always does a great job, I don't think I've ever seen him NOT play a bad guy, so seeing him on the side of truth and justice comes as a bit jarring. Add to that the fact that he has an obligatory hot blond, played by the ever-imposing Marley Shelton to serve as protection, or whatever, and you've got an uncertain premise to work with. "Hi, I'm Bambi! I'll be your bodyguard/will-they-or-won't-they love interest. Just let me get my espionage boots on and I'll be ready for protectioning! Hehe!"

And then there's Marc "I suck the life out of every scene I'm in" Blucas. He made Buffy painful to watch and I don't anticipate any change here. He must have an uncle or cousin with some mob ties or something because I have a hard time seeing how he ever gets cast in anything. He was pretty decent in the episode of House that he was in, but he happened to be dying at the time, so it was unduly satisfying to watch.

And then there's the Jerry Bruckheimer angle. May God have mercy on our TVs. He's produced a few winners in his day, but did anyone see Pearl Harbor? I'd have sooner been present at the actual bombing than have sat through that dreck. It would have been considerably less painful. Oh, the humanity! His presence does not instill confidence...

Anyway, here's another clip to flesh out the experience:



The storyline seems weak and like they're imbuing it with a false sense of urgency and doom. They're really just trying a little too hard to be edgy and cool and it's coming off as creepy. And the whole "I'm the one they call when things go wrong" angle is always hard to pull off, so I'm fairly skeptical of this one. It's all been done, folks, and I'm just not confident that they'll be able to re-invent the wheel successfully.

THE VERDICT: I'll DVR it, but I'm not going to hang on too tightly. This one just doesn't strike me as having much staying power. I don't anticipate hanging in there past the pilot. This one just isn't grabbing me and what little buzz there has been isn't exactly glowing (not that it's terrible, but it merits no hype, that's for sure).

I'd much rather see the British version, quite frankly...



Patrick Stewart can pull off even the weakest of storylines. Rufus Sewell? We'll just have to wait and see.