NBC FALL 2012: Pick-ups, Cancelleds, and Schedule

Whoa, blogger is different!  Hopefully better...  If not, my apologies.  Geez, how long has it been since I blogged that I didn't know about this till now?  Oh, well.  On with the show.  UPDATE:  Oh my holy hell, it is SO MUCH WORSE!  Just when I thought that wasn't possible!!!  Yeah, that picture above?  Hard as hell to move around without screwing up all your text.  If it moves at all.  Kudos, Blogger.  Way to suck.  Yeah, I'm gonna be looking for a new program to use in the very near future, because if pictures are this hard, embedding videos is going to be a blast...

As per usual with NBC over the past 5-10 years, they have more an insane number of new pilots.  Why, you ask?  Because the network is underwater and they cancel nearly everything they pick up.  Seriously, when a fantasy show in the Friday night death slot is the highlight and biggest success of last season’s pilot ventures, you’re truly, truly in trouble.  Here’s the breakdown of pick-ups and cancelleds (only the scripted shows, naturally).

PICKED-UP FOR NEXT SEASON:  30 Rock (final season), Community (wahoo! 13 episode initial order), Grimm (yay!), Law & Order: SVU, The Office, Parenthood, Parks & Recreation, Smash (will be held till midseason), Up All Night, and Whitney.

CANCELLED:  Are You There Chelsea?, Awake, Bent, Best Friends Forever, Chuck, Free Agents, Harry’s Law, The Playboy Club, Prime Suspect, and The Firm.

Along with the largely unsurprising pick-up and cancellation news, some scheduling changes should be noted.  Biggest change?  Community has been moved to Fridays.  This, in and of itself, wouldn’t be a death sentence (if ever a show could survive on a Friday, it’s a show with a niche audience), and quite frankly, not being up against The Big Bang Theory anymore can only be good news, but that it will now follow Whitney is a big problem.  Whitney’s ratings are bad, and the fans aren’t going to follow it to Friday.  I think Community’s base certainly will, but no casual viewer is going to watching Whitney and then stick around.  It’s a terrible lead-in and Community is going to suffer for it.  Ugh.  Other than that, here’s how things are stacking up.

The entries in ALL CAPS are new shows for fall.  The times are all Eastern Time Zone because I was too lazy to adjust for the time zone I actually live in.

NBC FALL 2012 SCHEDULE

MONDAY
8/7c The Voice
10 pm REVOLUTION

TUESDAY
8 pm The Voice
9 pm GO ON
9:30 pm THE NEW NORMAL
10 pm Parenthood

WEDNESDAY
8 pm ANIMAL PRACTICE
8:30 pm GUYS WITH KIDS
9 pm Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
10 pm CHICAGO FIRE

THURSDAY
8 pm 30 Rock
8:30 pm Up All Night
9 pm The Office
9:30 pm Parks and Recreation
10 pm Rock Center with Brian Williams

FRIDAY
8 pm Whitney
8:30 pm Community
9 pm Grimm
10-11 pm Dateline NBC

SUNDAY (Post-football/Winter 2013)
8 pm Fashion Star
9 pm The Celebrity Apprentice
10 pm DO NO HARM

I’ll be posting clips and trailers of the new shows with my knee-jerk reactions in the coming weeks, but for now, that’s what we’re in for.  Having watched the trailers already, I can tell you that there are some absolute disasters coming down the pike, but also a couple of possible contenders. 

Renewal Prospects: NBC

I'll stop bitching about my multifarious reasons for being so lax with this blog and just get the point. Long story short, apathy is metastatic.

Moving on.

The networks won't make final decisions about which shows will survive and which shows have been crushed under the weight of timeslot competition, incompetent management, and network tomfoolery until the middle of May, but here's how things are shaking down so far. I'm starting with NBC because it's far and away the saddest and sorriest among the big four. It's like eating all the tasteless, cardboardy, multigrainy cereal bits so you can save the marshmallows till last. NBC is in trouble, folks. We all hoped that the removal of Jeff Zucker would revitalize the network, but it's going to be an uphill battle. Having ousted Zucker and his reign of terror, NBC is now comprised largely of Showtime vets who are trying to invigorate the NBC as they had Showtime. Good luck with that. This is network TV and the outlandish, envelope-pushing programming that made Showtime a major player simply has no chance on any of the big four, least of all a network that's already in trouble. Network TV simply imposes too many limits and restrictions to allow for much creativity and programming is suffering as a result. Unique, out of the box thinking is actively punished on network TV and until the new brass at NBC cast off other notions, I think NBC is going to continue to struggle. (Frankly, any network that would shelve my darling Community is going to get a stern talking to from me, but that doesn't mean I'm entirely biased.) Couple that with the fact that the network has pretty much nothing in the way of a strong lead-in for new blood and you've got a recipe for disaster. Er, more disaster. Case in point, of all of NBC's fall pilots, only a vanishingly small number will survive.

Henceforth, on with the cardboardy disappointments...

Wait, quick note: I usually categorize by "how screwed are they?", but this year I'm just going to go alphabetically. These predictions are based on my own system of gauging ratings, network expectations, and a keen, truly absurd understanding of how TV works. I'm not infallible, by any stretch, but most of my predictions are spot on. That said, I've been shocked before and I'll be shocked again. Take these with a grain of salt and if you'd rather wait till May to get definitive answers, hats off to you.

The obvious ones won't get much rhapsodizing, but the tougher calls will require some explanation...

• 30 Rock
  Safe: Will certainly be renewed for next season. Even if the actual quality of the show has been slipping for the past couple of seasons, it's one of NBC's few safe bets.
  
  
• Are You There Chelsea?
  Why no, no she isn't. This one's a goner. Even by NBC's pitifully low standards, she doesn't stand a chance. Basically: Dead.
  
  
• Awake
  Fairly Dead: This one is a little too early to call definitively (they've only had two eps to date), but I don't think it's long for this world. Or the other one. It had a good pilot and an intriguing concept, but it would have been better suited to a mini-series or a movie. I've enjoyed the first two episodes, but don't think it will last. Two eps in and the ratings are in a downward slope that I don't see stopping in time to save the show. I'll be really surprised if it lives. UPDATE: The numbers just came back for episode 3 and they held rock solid with episode 2. Granted there was less competition last night than usual, but that's still impressive. I'm upgrading their condition to: Tough Call.
  
  
• The Biggest Loser
  Safe: Oh, it'll be back all right. And, given what other gems NBC has to work with, I suspect you'll have to endure a solid 17 minutes of beeping and two commercial breaks before the weight is revealed. All to the shocked horror of those who have slow-motioned us into the break.
  
  
• Celebrity Apprentice
  Safe: See above with The Biggest Loser, substitute "beeping" with "bad hair and incompetence." It'll be back for sure. Sadly, sadly.
  
  
• Chuck
  Dead: Finally sloughs off this mortal coil. The series ended back in January after surviving for two seasons too long. God, how I used to love that show. Sad to see what it turned into. Cancellation was the only humane thing to do.
  
  
• Community
  Safe: This might be the fan girl talking, but I'm betting Community will be back for season 4. It's ratings are pretty bad, even for NBC, but I think the network may have realized that that has more to do with the timeslot than anything else. They plopped 30 Rock into that time period and it struggled hardcore as well. The hiatus put us all on edge, but the fact that they never stopped production speaks volumes. At the end of the day, the show is about 1 season away from hitting the golden 100 episodes and I think NBC will let them get there. Once a show hits 100 episodes (usually), it can be sold into syndication. That's a cash prize that NBC won't pass up. The value of selling it into syndication will more than make up for producing one more season of the show. Henceforth, I'm cautious, but optimistic. I may be going out on a bit of a limb, but I'm putting this one in the safe column. Six seasons and a movie! (Community returns this Thursday, March 15th, to much applause.)
  
  
• Free Agents
  Long Dead: This sucker barely made it three episodes before biting the dust. Yet another feather in NBC's cap.
  
  
• Grimm
  Safe: I'm as shocked as you are. As the season began, never did I think a supernatural genre show slated for the Friday night death slot would be one of the very, very few success stories for the network. Given its genre and time period, the show is doing extremely well. Hell, for NBC, its ratings are pretty decent for any time period. To boot, it's actually quite a good show. It's not often that the A-plots keep me entertained, but Grimm does a very nice job. The ongoing story could be a lot stronger and more present, but all in all, it's a solid story-of-the-week kind of show. In all honesty, when it comes to the recent fairy tale trend, I daresay Grimm does a better job than Once Upon a Time. The fact that I quite enjoy Grimm but can barely bring myself to watch Once anymore really says it all. I'll be surprised if it doesn't come back.
  
  
• Harry's Law
  Tough Call: Here's the conundrum. Ratings-wise, this show is an absolute disaster. That said, it was a disaster last year and NBC kept it. All I can think is that NBC likes having a show that gets nominated for something, anything, and wants to hold onto it. I guess the fact that it doesn't actually deserve to get nominated for anything never crossed their minds when handing out pink slips. In my heart of hearts, I think it will be canceled (it's doing even worse in its new time period than its last), but NBC might not have anything else to fall back on. Final prediction: canceled.
  
  
• Law & Order: SVU
  Safe: Network TV never met a crime procedural it didn't like and NBC is no exception. I'm sure this will be back. Again. For what I have to assume is season 38.
  
  
• The Office
  Safe: In spite of the fact that it stopped being consistently funny (or even occasionally funny) several seasons ago, its ratings are among NBC's best. The Office isn't going anywhere, even if the majority of the regular cast is jumping ship as soon as possible.
  
  
• Parenthood
  Pretty Safe: The ratings aren't good, but I think this one will be back for next year. They had a truncated season this year to accommodate a new slate of pilots and because, well, NBC struggles, but I'm confident it'll get renewed. Said new pilots have pretty much fizzled so far, so even though Parenthood's ratings aren't great, they're consistently pretty decent. For a network in complete and total turbulence, moderate, but consistent is more than they can hope for most of the time. The season finale was written so that it could serve as a series finale, but I don't think it needed to. Way to hedge your bets though.
  
  
• Parks & Recreation
  Safe: This show gets used and abused by the network, but it's a quality show with decent ratings (again, by NBC standards). It'll be back.
  
  
• The Playboy Club
  Long Dead: Yet another glittering jewel in NBC's crown, this half-baked farce was on a network with no balls whatsoever... which is kind of a liability when your show is ostensibly about sex.
  
  
• Prime Suspect
  Dead: On another network, in another time, I think this show could have done well. Perhaps on CBS, paired with one of their heavy-hitter crime procedurals, Prime Suspect could have made a real go of it. As is, on NBC, paired with... god, I can't even remember what it was paired with, but I recall it made no sense, it didn't stand a chance. It was actually a pretty good little show and I'm sad to see it end so quickly and ignominiously. Maybe it was the hat's fault... (I liked the hat, but I'm in the distinct minority here.)
  
  
• Smash
  Pretty Safe: Most websites will tell you that it's too early to tell or that it's a tough call, but I think it'll make it. We are legitimately only six episodes in, and the numbers aren't as high as NBC would like, but they're still higher than just about any other show on the network. More importantly, the number seem to have leveled off in the 2.5ish range, and for NBC, I'd say that's more than good enough to grant renewal. Time will tell, but if it stays within a couple of points of that key demo rating, it'll be back.
  
  
• The Firm
  Dead: It may not be official, but this one's a goner. It premiered to some of the lowest numbers any of the big four have ever seen for a primetime drama and it only went down from there. I'd be positively shocked if this got renewed. From where I'm sitting, it's already dead.
  
  
• Up All Night
  Safe: It's one of their better-performing shows and it's a half-hour sitcom. Barring some sort of ratings disaster, it should be just fine. The fact that they ordered extra episodes this season also bodes well for next season.
  
  
• The Voice
  SAFE: This is far and away NBC's best performer on any night, in any time period, in any genre. It's really the only show keeping the network afloat, so it will definitely be back, and, if NBC can find a way, will be even longer than it is now.
  
  
• Whitney
  Fairly Dead: I can see where some genius at NBC might think keeping this show is a good idea, but I doubt it. Its ratings have been in free-fall since the pilot and the critical backlash doesn't help. It might eek out a renewal, but I'm putting my prediction safely in the canceled camp.
  

That's all she wrote, folks. From where I'm sitting, the only shows new shows that will live to see a second are Smash and Grimm. Grimm indeed...

NBC Pilots 2011: Volume 3 (midseason dramas)

A few strange trends emerged with the network announcements of fall shows (vintage-y, fairy tales, comedies that seem hell-bent on convincing the world that men are complete morons), but none was more disconcerting than the midseason slate. For some unknown reason, the major networks seem to be holding all their most promising new shows until the dead of winter. Seriously, before I had sized up exactly what the schedules would look like for fall, and had only seen a pile of trailers, there were a number of shows I was rather intrigued by and, I daresay, excited about. Only then did I realize that the vast majority of them wouldn't have the luxury of a big, splashy, fall premiere, but would instead start filling the schedule whenever a spot opened up. On the one hand, I guess it makes sense to replace fall failures with something more promising, but more than anything, I think this sets these shows up for failure. Once in a while a midseason replacement makes a splash and hits big (Grey's Anatomy is the main one coming to mind), but in general, it's a rough go. After the winter break hiatus, even established shows tend to struggle a bit to get viewers back into the swing of things, let alone a brand new show.

Well, whatever the reason may be, I find myself a hell of a lot more excited about the midseason than the fall, which I'm pretty confident has never happened before. I guess it'll be nice to see some quality come mid winter rather than the second-tier cast-offs (as per usual), but call me crazy, I don't want to wait that long!

Alas, here are NBC's midseason dramas (well, most of them--there will be an adaptation of John Grisham's The Firm as well, but it has yet to even be cast, so there's not much to tell):

SMASH

Description: Stars Debra Messing (Will & Grace), Katharine McPhee (American Idol), Anjelica Huston (Medium), Jack Davenport (Captain Norrington), and others. Steven Spielberg is somehow behind this and Grammy and Tony winners Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman (Hairspray) will write original songs for the show.



First Impressions: You see what I mean about all the good stuff being held till midseason? Yeah, I'm extremely excited for this one. I've never gravitated toward Marilyn Monroe as a cultural icon the way many people do, but that's decidedly beside the point. I've seen this billed as a "grown up Glee" but I don't think that's it at all. To me, this looks like a tremendous story about putting on a Broadway show, which, I don't know if you've met me, but that pretty much is my wheelhouse. This isn't a show about a bunch of people singing for increasingly plot-irrelevant reasons. This is a concept about Broadway, and on Broadway, you get singing. Besides, after this season of Glee, putting anything in the same boat is kind of an insult. Moving on, the cast and creative team are pretty amazing. I'm not an American Idol fan, so my knowledge of Katharine McPhee is limited, but she seems to be holding her own in the trailer. I always have a bit of a problem with people choosing a Christina Aguilera song for their auditions though, because let's face it, good luck with that, but she pulled it off. To boot, I think she actually looks really good as the Norma Jean end of the Marilyn spectrum. The blond they have vying for the role as well doesn't look like Monroe at all, save for the hair. The fact that things like this are already on my mind means that I'm already invested in this show more than probably any other new pilot. Indeed, watching most of the trailers for these news shows a second time has seemed like a chore in most cases, but not here. I was as enthralled in the second go-round as the first. I love Jack Davenport (who looks really great as the director), Angelica Houston is a legend, and I have no positive or negative feelings toward Debra Messing in this role (and when it comes to Debra Messing, feeling neutral generally equals a win). In terms of concept, the only way this show could appeal to me more is if they were making a musical about a different person, but I realize that it kind of has to be Marilyn. In terms of old Hollywood screen legends, however, I'm more of a Barbara Stanwyck, Marlene Dietrich, Mae West kind of girl, but they don't have quite the same cultural zing that Marilyn does. The show appears to have just about everything I could ask for in a drama and more. Even the more familiar ground they'll be covering has me intrigued. The director-ingenue dynamic has been done and done and done, but McPhee and Davenport looked great together and I'm excited to see that explored (especially with her seemingly perfect boyfriend(?) in tow). Knowing how common it is to have to sleep with the director to get the part, I'm eager to see how they handle it. In case I've been far too subtle, I'm super-stoked for this one and kinda sorta pissed that I have to wait till midseason. Presumably, they're holding it till then so they can pair it with The Voice, but given the sinking ratings lately, I'm not sure that will be doing Smash any favors.


AWAKE

Description: Stars Jason Isaacs (Brotherhood), Laura Allen (Terriers), Cherry Jones (24), Steve Harris (The Practice), and Michaela McManus (The Vampire Diaries). The project comes from Kyle Killen, creator of Fox's short-lived Lone Star and 24's Howard Gordon.



First Impressions: I have to tip my hat to the big four for continuing to take chances with high-concept shows, even in spite of the rash of recent failures (The Event, FlashForward, The Nine, etc). I am not a casual TV viewer, so the extra effort needed for a show like this is most enjoyable to me, but often comes as a turnoff to other viewers. Networks seem to be searching for the next Lost, but so far have come up short. Awake isn't the same kind of "high concept" as those cited previously, however, so I think it has a better chance of surviving the network mill. At its core, it's a cop show (and likely a fair bit procedural--hopefully not entirely though), albeit with a sort of Inception-y vibe to it. Indeed, with him tackling different cases in each of his lives, I'm thinking NBC said to itself, "Two procedurals for the price of one?! I'll take it!" The concept raises some very interesting questions about identity and reality. At the end of the day, our entire existence is founded in our perceptions and our memories, so who's to say what is and is not reality? The show posits the theory that his mind has constructed an elaborate coping mechanism following a tragedy and asks the audience to consider what is and is not mental illness. This coping mechanism, by most accounts, means that he has officially gone insane, but by his personal measure, it's the only thing holding him together. Indeed, the stakes are so high in both of his realities that he can't really risk believing that one is real and the other isn't. What if he chooses wrong? What if both realities actually exist (from the trailer alone, it's hard to determine a supernatural element, but the overlaps in his two realities suggest that at least in his mind, some warping is occurring). It reminds me of that episode of Buffy where she's in a coma in one reality and is fighting monsters in the other. At one point, Buffy decides that she really is a woman in a coma and that all the fantastical things that have happened for the past few years were a dream and that all the dangers she and her friends are currently facing don't actually exist. She endeavors to ignore her dream reality, but on the chance that she's wrong, on the chance that it isn't all a dream, she engages and slays the demons like she has for the past few years. All in all, it simply isn't worth the risk of being wrong. I have a hopeful feeling that Awake will explore the mysteries of identity and reality in an intriguing way and that the more procedural elements will be kept to a minimum. The cast is excellent (seeing Laura Allen gives me pangs of grief for Terriers, but it's lovely to see her back on the air) and the creative team seems spot on (I loved what little I got to see of Lone Star and I'm excited to see Kyle Killen's talents in a project that will hopefully last). I'm a bit concerned that, like Lone Star, this concept may have been better suited to a movie or mini-series and I'm also afraid that the tone of the show may turn off network viewers. Where a somber exploration of grief, mental illness, and fabricated realities would work wonderfully on AMC, I'm not sure how sturdy a foothold it will find on NBC. Whatever the show's fate, I'm certainly intrigued and am looking forward to this midseason offering quite a bit more than most of the fall slate.

NBC Pilots 2011: Volume 2 (comedies)

It's always tough for me to really evaluate the potential of new comedies. In general, their trailers are almost always pretty bad, even if the show itself isn't. There's just so much to a joke that is based on set-up, character profiles, and timing--none of which are easy to convey in a three minute collage of clips. More often than not, I'm underwhelmed, or downright cringing. But, comedy is more particular to individual tastes that other genres typically, so to each his/her own, I suppose. I have to give NBC credit for trying, but I don't know that adding another comedy block was the best plan of action. I think they're hoping for a breakout hit like ABC scored with Modern Family two years ago, but based on what I've seen so far, I have some serious doubts. Given the outright slaughter of all their new comedies from last year, expanding their slate is a bold move, but one that I'm doubting will pay off. That said, NBC's new comedic offerings don't look half as awful as ABC's or CBS's, so maybe they have a chance after all.

Here are the three new comedies premiering this fall on NBC.

UP ALL NIGHT

Description: Stars Christina Applegate (Samantha Who?), Maya Rudolph (Saturday Night Live), and Will Arnett (Arrested Development). Parks and Recreation writer Emily Spivey wrote the pilot and will executive-produce with Saturday Night Live's Lorne Michaels.



First Impressions: On paper, this looks like it has all the makings of a good show (in spite of the cast of showkillers), but at the end of the day, the "age old" question of "Can you really have it all?" is simply a little too age old. This is territory that has been explored entirely too many times to see fresh or interesting. To boot, it's territory that I've never been fond of. Being as happily childless as I am, I simply can't relate to the any of this. What's worse, shows like this make people's desires to have children even more confounding. I have never looked at a pile of tiny socks and turned to mush and I have never mortgaged my entire identity so that I can help overpopulate the earth, and the idea of watching nothing but that week-to-week doesn't really interest me. That said, Applegate and Arnett seem to work well together (maybe showkiller + showkiller = success?) and I can see where this show would appeal to most people. The trailer had its moments and did manage to imbue this most unfortunate of subjects with some charm. I can't say I'm chomping at the bit for this one, but it doesn't look like a total disaster either.


WHITNEY

Description: Stars Whitney Cummings (Comedy Central), Chris D'Elia (Glory Daze), and Beverly D'Angelo (Entourage).



First Impressions: Okay, on the other side of the spectrum, we have a comedy with a theme that I can certainly understand, but that looks pretty awful in the long-run. The notion that marriage is the quickest way to ruin a good relationship is one of the greatest truisms around, but when the annoying and unappealing Whitney Cummings is the one delivering this message, I can't bring myself to be interested. I'm honestly not too familiar with her work on Comedy Central, but I'm hoping this is a case of network restrictions stifling cable-style comedy. There were a couple of scenes in the trailer that elicited a bit of smile, but most of them were at the hands of the guy playing her husband, which, for a show called "Whitney" seemed a little odd. Whatever the case may be, the few brief moments of charm were greatly outweighed by the heaping bowlfuls of cliche and cringe-worthiness. Given that the trailer basically showed the entire pilot (seriously, never before have a seen a trailer that essentially laid out the entire first episode in near chronological order like that), I'm not too enthusiastic about the series as a whole. Were this not a Whitney Cummings' vehicle, I'd be more willing to give it a chance, but I find her completely unappealing and her humor seems painfully forced. All in all, I don't think this show is featuring anything new or innovative and isn't covering familiar ground in a way that sucks me in. As ever, I'll give it a shot, but I'll be truly surprised if this holds water.


FREE AGENTS

Description: Stars Hank Azaria (The Simpsons), Kathryn Hahn (Hung), Anthony Head (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), and Joe Lo Truglio (Reno 911!). From creator John Enbom (PARTY DOWN) and Emmy Award-winning director Todd Holland (MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE).



First Impressions: GILES!!! That was honestly the first impression, and pretty much the main good impression. Wow, this is another American reboot of a British series (which is a phenomenon that often yields diminishing returns) and while the cast and concept seem solid, the execution looks pretty bad. The people sitting around the table might have thought Hank Azaria's laundry list of sexual positions was hi-larious, but it just didn't quite have the right snap to it. I don't know, maybe this is a case where the trailer simply doesn't do the show any favors, but I found this pretty bland and hackneyed. I'm hoping the actual program has a lot more charm and a lot more laughs in store. It has Giles in it (even if he's playing the anti-Giles), so I'm immediately more invested than I would be otherwise, and the cast and creative team seem promising, so I have my fingers crossed that this one is better than it looks. From the trailer alone, it seems like a lot of stock characters dealing with a lot of things we've seen a million times before. If the show can set itself apart somehow, I think it could have some potential. Maybe I just watch entirely too much TV (blasphemy!), but these days, I need something unique or innovative to really invest. Otherwise, they'd better just hope that the chemistry between the leads is palpable because that appears to be central to the entire show. If that's a bust, the show likely will be as well.

NBC Pilots 2011: Volume 1 (fall dramas)

It's that magical, yet ultimately disappointing time of year again. Don't get me wrong, May is probably the biggest, most important, busiest time of year for the TV biz, but with all the new pilots announced in the Spring comes all the apprehension that most of them will suck come Fall. This year's slate of new pilots looks to be more promising than last year (when I was honestly starting to think that network TV had just sorta given up altogether), but I'm not counting my chickens.

Here's what the schedule will look like for NBC this fall (please bear in mind that these times are Eastern Standard Time, even though that's not where I live (hey, a girl can dream, all right?)):

New pilots are in all-caps.

MONDAY
8 pm The Sing-Off
10 pm THE PLAYBOY CLUB

TUESDAY
8 pm The Biggest Loser
10 pm Parenthood

WEDNESDAY
8 pm UP ALL NIGHT
8:30 pm FREE AGENTS
9 pm Harry’s Law (new time slot)
10 pm Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

THURSDAY
8 pm Community
8:30 pm Parks and Recreation (new time slot)
9 pm The Office
9:30 pm WHITNEY
10 pm PRIME SUSPECT

FRIDAY
8 pm Chuck (new, rather sad time slot)
9 pm GRIMM
10 pm Dateline NBC

SUNDAY
7 pm Football Night in America
8:15 pm NBC Sunday Night Football

Geez, whoever noticed that NBC has absolutely nothing on Sundays? I sure didn't. Wow, this network is even more pathetic than I thought... and that's a high bar.

Anyway, the only scheduling notes are that Chuck has been moved to Friday, so that it has plenty of time to ponder sloughing off this mortal coil, and that Grimm will be premiering on Friday, which doesn't exactly scream confidence. Dear NBC, maybe you should put some actual scripted programming on Sundays, eh? Oh, who am I kidding. Football is about the only thing on this network that anyone watches. So sad.

Even sadder? NBC actually has some pilots that look promising, but they'll be held till midseason for some unfathomable reason (maybe they really like rhyming?). More on them in a future post, but for now, here are some of the new drama pilots for this fall:

THE PLAYBOY CLUB

Description: Stars Amber Heard (Zombieland), Eddie Cibrian (CSI: Miami), David Krumholtz (Numb3rs), Jenna Dewan-Tatum (Step Up), Laura Benanti (Eli Stone) and others. Brian Grazer (24, Parenthood and Friday Night Lights) executive-produces.



First Impressions: While I salute NBC for trying to tap into the Mad Men vibe and era, I have serious reservations about this kind of show on network TV, especially with the focus being on an establishment geared toward sex and drugs. I don't know if you've met network TV, but there's a reason edgier programs wind up on cable. For as solid as the production looks in the trailer, I have a feeling the show started off one way and ended up quite another way when it got picked up by NBC. As much as I hope it can find a foothold and an audience, the necessary watering-down of the content will likely water-down the quality as well. Plus, if there's one demographic that taps into period pieces, it's people who peaked during that period. As much as NBC would jump at the chance for anyone to watch their network again, I don't think the octogenarian set is exactly what they had in mind. This show is going to skew older, I have no doubt. It looks to be well-made and stylish and the decision to cast tabloid staple Eddie Cibrian as a lothario and playboy seeks pre-ordained, but I'm already a bit iffy on the initial story arc. You're telling me her heel broke through someone's skull and all the way into his brain before it broke off the shoe? Boy, they really don't make things like they used to... apparently for safety reasons. I'm cautiously hopeful for this one. Hey, it has David Krumholtz (aka Mr. Universe) in it (even if he wasn't in the trailer at all), so it already wins a few points in my book. If they can pull off the balance between cable themes and network restrictions the way The Good Wife does, it could be a winner, but I'm willing to wager it'll just turn into a low-substance, high-cheese soap opera that likes to think its high brow, but isn't. So I don't trust NBC. Sue me.


PRIME SUSPECT

Description: Stars Mario Bello (ER), Aidan Quinn (Canterbury's Law), and Kirk Acevedo (Fringe). Sarah Aubrey and Peter Berg (Friday Night Lights) will executive-produce.



My Take: First off, this is an American remake of a British series, so I'm already pre-disposed to throw it on the scrap heap and simply seek out the original. Secondly, the British series starred Helen Mirren in the lead where she has been replaced with Maria Bello for American audiences, in case you were wondering just what tack they were aiming for. With that out of the way, I'd say my biggest concern is that it feels like I just watched a trailer for an edgy new cop series about gender roles from... Oh, I don't know, maybe 1991. I have to seriously question the show's approach here. Does anyone really think of policework at strictly a boys' club anymore? Whether it is or it isn't in real life, the television landscape moved past this ages ago. The whole concept seems a little dated and irrelevant. Maybe it's British vs. American sensibilities? Maybe policing really is still a stodgy old boys' club in Britain? In all honestly, when I watch my British shows, there really is a much more prominent and palpable sexism than I see in American shows, so perhaps therein lies the difference. It's always unexpected and I always find it extremely strange, but portrayals of women and interactions with female characters on my British shows are surprisingly sexist from time to time. With that, I can see where Prime Suspect genuinely would have seemed like a trailblazer, featuring a tough woman who can keep up with the guys. On American TV? Been there, done that, two decades ago. Anyway... aside from all that, it honestly doesn't look like a bad show, even if it's main theme seems outdated and perhaps a bit irrelevant. It looks to have more substance than your typical CBS procedural, but more hackneyed procedure than a cable cop drama would offer. It looks like it could strike a nice balance of the two. I can definitely see myself getting sick to death of the constant, "What?! A girl?!" of it all, so hopefully that goes by the wayside sooner than later. Bello looks surprisingly at home in the role and isn't at gussied up or "Hollywood" as I had feared when I heard about the casting, so I'm hopeful. This one will boil down to the level of yammering about the boys' club and the amount of procedure in the show. The less there is of both of those, the better. Yeah, man alive, in terms of gender roles, The Chicago Code managed to explore the treatment of women on the police force only by having the woman in question be top dog of them all, be younger than any other superintendent in history, and be biracial. You really think you're going to push the envelope with a white woman working as a regular old detective? Good luck with that.


GRIMM

Description: Stars David Giuntoli (Privileged), Sasha Roiz (Caprica), Silas Weir Mitchell (Prison Break), and Kate Burton (Grey's Anatomy). The pilot was written and executive-produced by Jim Kouf and David Greenwalt (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel).



My Take: Wow, where to start... On paper, this sounds insanely awesome. In execution? I'm a little afraid. I think it was the little red riding zip hoodie that started the worries. Coming from a production team that had their hands in Buffy and Angel, it's hard not to get excited. Were Joss Whedon included on that list, you can bet I'd be over the moon. Without Joss, however, I have a feeling this show is going to fail to meet its potential. Where Buffy took the "high school is hell" notion and made it reality, this seems to be playing with the "murderers, rapists, and kidnappers are demons" concept in the same way, but without as much success. It's a lot easier to have fun with the concept of Buffy. The levity and snark make the more campy elements totally work. Trying to incorporate similar thematic elements into a crime procedural? I have my doubts. Aside from being one of my least favorite genres, the crime procedural tends to take itself too seriously a lot of the time and when you're dealing with the notion that a descendant of the Brothers Grimm is fighting big bad wolves (heh, well, they got the "big bad" part of the Whedonverse right) and saving little red riding sweatshirt, I have a sinking feeling it'll come across as lame, not inspired. The fact that Seymour from Burn Notice is ostensibly one of the scoobies warms my heart and gives me hope, but I fear viewers will tune in expecting the snap crackle wit of a Whedonverse production and be left wanting. The fact that it's airing on Fridays, after Chuck, doesn't exactly bolster confidence either. On the hopeful chance that this is as awesome as it could be, it likely doesn't stand much of a chance in that timeslot, with that lead-in. Don't get me wrong, they make for a logical pairing, but Chuck's numbers are already terrible, and will likely be abysmal come fall, which means it's not exactly the blockbuster lead-in a new pilot would hope for. This was far from a reassuring trailer, but I'm willing to wager a three minute snippet of Buffy probably looked pretty ridiculous as well. Fingers crossed on this one.

NBC Upfronts: Let God Sort 'Em Out

Oh, NBC. It's just sad. Yeah, so last year, they basically axed 2/3rds of their network, picked up an obscene number of new, expensive pilots, and were confident they'd be able to rebuild the network to its former glory. How did that work out for you, NBC?

NBC was unavailable for comment, but I can tell you, it did not go as planned. In fact, when you look at the slate of new pilots from last year and then look at the schedule for this fall, you'll notice that there is a total of 1 show that survived. Ouch. The list below doesn't even really do the slaughter full justice because shows like Undercovers and The Whole Truth got canceled so long ago that they weren't even in contention at this point.

Why has NBC fared so poorly, you ask? One word. Zucker. He is the network president who took NBC from first to worst and was the driving force behind the Leno/Conan debacle. What a peach. The good news? He's out, Bob Greenblatt is in. I'm not sure he'll be able to save the network in one season, but he's certainly a step in the right direction. Greenblatt was largely responsible for turning Showtime into the powerhouse that it has become. Before Greenblatt, Showtime had very little in the way of original programming. After Greenblatt, Showtime holds its own against HBO. As a huge fan of most of Showtime's slate, I'm very interested to see what Greenblatt can do. Having seen previews of the new pilots for this fall, however, I'm going to reserve judgment... (More of the new pilots in a later post.)

Aside from no longer having the cache or the clout the throw its weight around like it used to, NBC simply doesn't have many launchpads for new shows. A big part of a new show's success depends on its lead-in. When you put your new show directly after a returning hit, its numbers only benefit as a result. When you're on NBC, however, there's pretty much no such thing. Seriously, The Voice is the closest they have and it won't be back to midseason next year. Anyway, see below for the full shake-down of misery and embarrassment (which they at least tried to lessen by passing on the Wonder Woman reboot--god, I'd kill to see that pilot. If NBC is passing, it's gotta be good (you know, in a bad way)).

SHOWS NOT RETURNING THIS FALL:

• The Cape
  I only struggled through an episode and a half of this sucker, but I'm glad it made it to air if for no other reason than for Community to make fun of it.
  
  
• Chase
  The only bad thing about this crap-fest being canceled is that it freed up the odious Kelli Giddish to appear on The Good Wife. That needs to stop.
  
  
• The Event
  As with FlashForward, The Nine, and V before or next to it, The Event started off strong then fell completely apart. The midseason hiatus certainly didn't help, but really, was there anything left to hurt?
  
  
• Friday Night Lights
  Great show. It wasn't canceled, it's simply ending.
  
  
• Law & Order: Los Angeles
  I never even watched the pilot, but I hear it was somehow even more boring than all the other Laws & Orders out there.
  
  
• Outsourced
  The 7 minutes of the pilot I could stomach were plenty for me and apparently just about everyone else. This show won't be missed. I'm a little surprised at NBC's good judgment here. Must be Greenblatt? As the guy responsible for getting a number of Showtime's best comedies on the air, I have to assume Outsourced was positively painful for him.
  
  
• Perfect Couples
  Man alive, this one was painful as well. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm sure there are some marriages out there that work, but most TV shows have me happily single and childless.
  
  

SHOWS THAT WILL BE RETURNING:

• 30 Rock
  
  
• The Office
  I broke up with this show ages ago, so I don't even really care at this point, but yeah, it'll be back. Word is, Will Ferrell is pretty underwhelming, or as a friend at work said, "Hard to watch," so I'm not exactly chomping at the bit to give this show another chance.
  
  
• Parks & Recreation I've only just started getting caught up on this show on Netflix, but already I'm regretting that I ever broke up with it. What can I say? I have a soft spot for gay penguins.
  
  
• Community
  NBC doesn't do a whole lot of things right, but picking up Community, in spite of dismal ratings, is the smartest move they've made. It's far and away the best comedy on TV and it only got better as the second season wore on. Unlike Modern Family, which has gotten kind of boring, I'm sorry to say...
  
  
• Chuck
  Ugh. Groan. Grrr. Argh. I used to love this show, I really did, but this last season was unbearable. As any avid reader knows (and I'm sure there are simply scads of you out there), I broke up with this show quite a while back. I thought NBC would finally put it out of its misery, but instead they've relegated it to the Friday night death slot. You know, because it wasn't pitiful enough. Thankfully it'll only be back for 13 episodes, but those episodes will be on opposite Nikita, so they have to make me grimace a bit. I'm going to go out on limb and say that those two shows have similar audiences, and Nikita needs every eyeball it can get. You can go ahead and keep up with both, but watch Nikita live, please.
  
  
• Harry's Law
  Ding! Ding! Ding! For those of you playing the home game, this is the one and only new show that will be returning this fall. Yes, Harry's Law is the best of the best, apparently. I'll just let that sink in for minute while I ponder how very far NBC has fallen...
  
  
• Law & Order: SVU
  
  
• Parenthood
  You know, I've tried to love this show, and it really does have its moments, but overall, its kind of a mess. If I were trapped within a family that operated like the ones featured on this show, I'd be driving off a cliff by now. That said, when it's not being ridiculous, it does have its charms, so I keep up with it on an occasional basis. The fact that it's no longer opposite The Good Wife will help. Oh, and the fact that The Event got canceled ups the changes of Jason Ritter returning, so that could be fun. All in all, not my favorite show, but it's not one that makes me seriously question the nation's priorities either, so it's welcomed to stay.
  

NBC aka The Biggest Loser

Now that the fall slaughter is basically complete, it's time to run down the networks and see how everyone fared. Oh, NBC... Seems they just didn't get rid of Zucker in time to save this fall development schedule. At this point, I'm honestly not sure how they're going to recover. They spent an obscene amount of money trying to revitalize the network with an unheard of number of high-profile, expensive new shows and what do they have to show for it? Chuck is one of their highest-rated scripted shows. Quite frankly, when titling this post, I had a hard time deciding between NBC shows The Biggest Loser or ER in terms of aptonyms. I thought about Lost, but that's another network that's currently in trouble.

Here's how the chips fell for the peacock this fall... (We'll start with the bad news--brace yourselves, there's a lot of it.) It's hard to know just where to begin when even the "successes" are failures, but here we go. Worst of the worst.

(When talking about TV success and failure, you're usually talking ratings. For a primer on TV ratings, go here. It'll probably make most of the ratings talk later on make a lot more sense.)

THE CANCELEDS

Outlaw
While it wasn't the very first fall show to get the axe, that has more to do with NBC's ever-lowering standards than with the ratings themselves. Even for a Friday show, the ratings were abyssal. At last glance, they were getting their asses handed to them by the CW in terms of key demo ratings. On any other network, Outlaw would have been toast even sooner than it was. Deservedly so, as luck would have it. This was a truly terrible show that should never have seen the light of day. This sucker was about dead right out of the gate with debut numbers that were embarrassing by nearly any standards. Jimmie, you made for the worst season of Dexter ever, and for that, I'm glad to see your career taking a hit. Let this be a word of warning to other shows... don't cast him! Boy, I don't remember hating him before Dexter, but seriously, if I never hear the name Miguel Prado again, it'll be too soon. Smits is forever tainted... as is the third season of Dexter, thank you very much.

Undercovers
Although this show was only recently given the passive-aggressive axe (rather than being flat out canceled, they simply opted to not pick up anymore episodes), I think it's probably the most devastating, most expensive blunder NBC has endured this year. Good lord, when a flashy, high-budget JJ Abrams production can't survive on your network, what can? Once again, however, this show was quite deservedly canceled. Its debut numbers were lower than expected and just kept falling from there. At last count, it scored a 1.3 in the key demo. For comparison's sake, that's only slightly better than Nikita's numbers. The Vampire Diaries most recently scored a 1.6. When you're getting trounced by the CW, you're in trouble, even if it's abundantly clear that their shows are awesome. Serious trouble. Fans of Undercovers might cry foul that that's an unfair comparison because the CW slate airs on a different night than Undercovers does. Yeah, they air on a much more competitive night. And they're still holding their own. NBC promoted the hell out of Undercovers, and scheduled it in one of the least daunting timeslots on the air. At the end of the day, it's just a terrible show. It's a shame to lose on of the few shows around to be helmed by faces of color, but as one commenter noted on a gossip blog, poor quality transcends race (or something like that). At the root of the problem for me was the lack of gravity. I realize the writers were aiming for a lighter farce, but they shot themselves in the foot. Hell, Psych has more suspense and more at stake and it's even more of a farce. Undercovers was just plain dull. when there's nothing to lose, there's little to gain. The espionage was about as suspenseful as the lame-ass catering B-plots. This show won't be missed by viewers, but I think NBC is about ready to cry. This was their ace in the hole going into this fall and it has proven to be one of their costliest misfires. Ouch.

THE SHOULD-HAVE-BEEN CANCELEDS

Chase
I still can't believe that they picked this show up for a full-season. I really think they simply didn't have anything with which to fill the gap, so they had to keep it. At last count, they were averaging a 1.5 in the key demo when they received the back nine order. For yet another comparison, Fox's Lone Star was unhesitatingly canceled after two weeks of scoring a 1.3--which is the same kind of numbers that led to Undercovers being canceled. 1.3 and 1.5 aren't that far apart, even in terms of TV ratings. Why did Chase get a pass? Well, it's a tough call. Aside from having little else to fall back on, Chase airs in one of the most competitive timeslots on the air. Based on the steep competition (I can't say I'd be happy to be pitted against Castle and Hawaii Five-0 if I were a show), a 1.5 might not be looking so bad to the suits at NBC. The most recent 1.2 that the show posted last night, probably looks pretty grim. Ouch. It managed to eek out of a full season order, but it won't be picked up for a second season. Quite frankly, if this trend continues, it'll likely get yanked before the year it out. It certainly won't survive the winter break. Good god, this is the first time since I started watching the ratings that the CW actually looks almost competitive! When compared to NBC, they really aren't that far behind. Sad. Fortunately, Chase is yet another horrible show, so it deserves the axe, but for NBC's sake, this is yet another colossal failure, and it's a purported success. Ha!

The Event
Yet another show that got a full-season pick-up, and yet another show whose ratings really don't warrant such a distinction. It's the best show of NBC's fall slate, however, so I'm glad they're giving it the old college try. Its ratings started out stronger than expected, but it's been hemorrhaging viewers ever since. I myself am one of those viewers. Well, sort of. Technically, it's been piling up in my DVR for over a month... I'm going to give it one more shot, but assume I'll bite the bullet and cancel it. It's really a pretty good show (as I recall from 5 weeks ago), but I just couldn't seem to get into it initially. Anyway, it managed the back nine, but with a 1.7 key demo rating last night, the slide continues into some seriously troubled waters. Of all the new shows on the network, I think this one will have the hardest time recovering from the winter break. As with FlashForward before it, I predict it will limp its way through sweeps, go on hiatus, and basically never really come back. I can't imagine this show will get a second season, so I'm honestly not all that motivated to give it another shot. The only way this show will be back next year is if NBC doesn't have any other options or simply can't afford to promote anything new. As one of the only new shows to even kind of step out of the box this year, it's a shame, but I can't say I'm surprised.

THE UNBELIEVABLY-LOW-BAR SUCCESSES

Chuck
Okay, this cracks me up every single time. This show has been struggling since day one, has almost been canceled three years in a row, and is now one of NBC's highest-rated and most consistent scripted programs. Ha! The really funny part is that the ratings aren't any better than they've ever been. In fact, they're worse. But with a steady 1.9-2.0 in the key demo, it's one of NBC's top shows these days. I honestly haven't been all that impressed by the current season (what can I say? I'm bored. Where's Bryce Larkin when you need him? Oh wait, that would be on White Collar), but it seems to be turning a corner (it always seems to take a few episodes to really get in gear). I'm happy for the little-show-that-could and do hope that they're all laughing their asses off at the NBC brass. Unless NBC someone finds a whole lotta cash (at this point, I'm thinking alchemy is their best bet), I don't know how they're going to put together a slate this fall that might result in Chuck getting the axe, so count on Chuck sticking around for the foreseeable future. With the new president though, I'm hopeful for NBC's creative direction in the coming year. It can't possibly get worse, right?

Law & Order: Los Angeles
Hi, broken record here. This show is averaging a 1.9 in the key demo, but for NBC, that makes it one of their pinch hitters. Man, that's bleak. I've never watched the show, but I hear it's pretty awful. I've heard that Law & Order : UK is actually quite good, however, so I'd suggest tuning into BBCA if you're really in the mood for this particular franchise.

Outsourced
Ugh. I tried to watch the pilot, I really, really did, but just couldn't do it. 7 minutes was all I could take. I hear it's actually gotten considerably better since then, but I'm in no mood to give it another go. I was pretty disheartened and embarrassed to hear that it received a full season order, but given that it's a half-hour comedy with decent ratings, I'm not surprised. It most recently scored a 2.7 in the key demo, which at first blush looks fantastic for NBC, but trust me, it's really not that impressive. When you take into account that its lead-in The Office scored a 3.7, that's a serious drop off, and leaves it in fourth for the time period. Not good. But, it's an inexpensive show that's easy to produce and that has to be paired with something else, so I'd be surprised if it doesn't get a second season. While its ratings should be better, they're pretty damn good by NBC standards, and have actually been fairly consistent, so assuming it stays above a 1.5, it should be a shoe-in for another year. How sad is that? Double ugh. Of all the shows to make my safe list, did this really have to be one of them? Really? Thanks for nothing, NBC. Once again.

Parenthood
It's honestly a bit difficult to decide exactly which category this one should be in. While it's been enduring a slow but steady slide in the ratings, and more than a few rumors that it's getting the axe, it still averages in NBC's safe zone, so I don't think viewers have much to worry about. It's generally in the 2.0 key demo range, which for NBC, is quite solid. Unfortunately, the show itself isn't. It has never been a favorite of mine, but it seems to be more grating than ever. The contrived drama and constant bickering is unbearable most of the time. I hang in there for Lauren Graham and Peter Krause, but it's getting tougher and tougher--especially when you take into the sheer brilliance of its main timeslot competitor, The Good Wife. Honestly, if it's one or the other for you, the decision is easy. I recently just started watching Sports Night on DVD, so my love between Peter Krause and Josh Charles should be evenly split, but overall, The Good Wife is simply superior in every possible way so even Sports Night can't level the field. As happy as I am that Lauren Graham has a steady gig (and that she and Peter Krause are reportedly dating--aww, well idn't that nice!), I wouldn't be heartbroken to see Parenthood get the axe at the end of this season. It has its moments, but it's mostly just shrill bickering. I'm sorry, but if this show is an accurate representation of family life for most people, I can't understand why anyone gets married, has children, or even speaks to other people. When there's nothing but conflict, it's unsatisfying. Who cares if one irrational fight gets resolved because you know there's another one right around the corner. Ugh. It's ratings have been in a downward trend, so it'll certainly be on the bubble come May, but if it can maintain a 2.0, it should be okay. The only other factor that might make that 2.0 not look so rosy is the cost of the show. It has a huge cast of names attached to it and it can't be cheap to produce. NBC doesn't exactly have money to burn these days, so if it comes down to Parenthood or a cheaper show with slightly worse ratings, it could easily be a toss up.

So there you have it. I didn't get into the nitty gritty of some NBC's returning shows, but odds are you're already aware of how they're performing. The Office and 30 Rock are tops, The Apprentice is a ratings disaster, The Biggest Loser keeps eating up more primetime (about 40 minutes of scales bonging a week, I'd say) and my darling Community continues to struggle a bit in a painfully tough timeslot. Creatively, it's better than ever, and NBC has even upped its season order to 24 episodes. Yay! Odds are it'll be fine come May, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. And then there's The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. What an unmitigated disaster. For the first time ever, I believe, The Daily Show beat Leno (and Letterman for that matter) in the key demo the other day. Ha! A little Comedy Central fake news show is beating The Tonight Show. That has to be pretty gut-wrenching for the brass at NBC.

Speaking of the brass, as mentioned, NBC has finally, finally, FINALLY gotten rid of Jeff Zucker. I'm honestly not too familiar with his replacement, but I'm pretty sure a pet rock could do a better job, so it doesn't really matter who takes over. At least it's not Zucker. He managed to take the number one network on TV and turn it into a close competitor for the CW. Way to go, dumbass. You won't be missed.

It's hard to know really where NBC will go from here. They need to rebuild their schedule for real this time, get a few solid scripted programs on the air, and then build from there. One of the biggest problems with the fall pilots this year is that NBC doesn't have any heavy hitters to act as lead-ins for new shows. If they can manage to develop even a couple of solid performers, they can use that as a foundation to promote other new shows. Until then, they're going to struggle... more so.

NBC Pilots 2010: Volume 3 (comedies)

Sticking with NBC's "Me too! Me too!" approach to programming, their fall slate follows in ABC's footsteps and makes a major play for new comedy blocks. ABC hit it big with last year's foray into the thought-dead genre, so now NBC is trying to do the same. From what I've seen, NBC is kidding themselves if they think they have the next Modern Family on their hands, but a couple of their new offerings appear to have some potential.

New half-hour comedy Outsourced and hour-long Love Bites are set to premiere after The Office on Thursdays this fall, while Friends With Benefits and Perfect Couples appear to be slated for midseason. There's something called The Paul Reiser Show that's on the list, but I haven't seen it on any official schedule yet, and I kind of have a feeling it won't actually pan out, so I won't be reviewing it here. Plus, you know, I'm lazy. (Also, I just watched the trailer and it looks criminally un-funny, so yeah, count me out.)

OUTSOURCED

Description: Stars Todd Dempsy (Ben Rappaport, off-Broadway’s “The Gingerbread House”), Rizwan Manji (“Privileged”), Sacha Dhawan (BBC’s “Five Days II”), Rebecca Hazlewood (BBC’s “Doctors”), Parvesh Cheena (“Help Me Help You”), and Anisha Nagarajan (Broadway’s “Bombay Dreams”), Diedrich Bader (“The Drew Carey Show”), and Jessica Gower (Network Ten’s “The Secret Life of Us”). Robert Borden (“The Drew Carey Show” and “George Lopez”) is executive producer/writer. Ken Kwapis (“The Office”) developed the project through his company, In Cahoots, and serves as executive producer/director.



My Take: Ummm... wow. It's hard to really know where to start here. I have to give them credit for trying something new, but this isn't really working for me so far. I'm stuck between finding this funny or cringe-worthy. I have a sinking feeling this is just going to be one episode after another of Americans looking like assholes whilst mocking Indian culture. Yeah... not exactly my bag, thanks. I honestly don't know what to make of this one. Handled in just the right way, it's the kind of concept that could be a witty juxtaposition of cultural norms, but so far, I'm not sure they're capable of pulling that off. In case the equivocacy thus far hadn't tipped you off, I'm on the fence with this one. I salute them for being daring. Having a mostly unknown cast and setting your comedy in India is ballsy, if nothing else. There's certainly a lot of room for funny in this concept, but I'm afraid it's going to veer into un-funny, America-is-better-than-you-are territory awfully quickly. Anything that is overtly "We're number 1!" is a major turn off for me, so I'm really hoping this comedy takes jabs on both sides (with the serious jabs coming America's way) and using this show as a platform to expose cultural quirks in a hilarious way. That's a tall order to fill, so I'm apprehensive at the very least. We'll see how it goes, but I have to admit, I'm nervous. It just feels like the kind of show that will make me embarrassed to be American... you know, more so. It has some impressive creative talent behind it, so I'm hoping to hell they pull this one off. I'm not sure it'll find an audience immediately, but to NBC's credit, one of the few things they do right is give their comedies time to grow.


FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

Description: From Oscar and Emmy winner Brian Grazer (A Beautiful Mind, Arrested Development). Stars Ryan Hansen (Veronica Mars, Party Down), Danneel Harris (One Tree Hill), Fran Kranz (Dollhouse)--a role which is being recast, Ian Reed Kesler--who is also being recast, and Jessica Lucas (Cloverfield). David Nevins (Lie to Me, Arrested Development) joins Grazer as executive producer. Also serving as executive producers are David Dobkin (Wedding Crashers), who directs the pilot, writers Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber ((500) Days of Summer), and Jeff Kleeman.



My Take: Well, it's hard to know exactly what this one is going to look like in the end because half the lead roles are being recast as we speak. Most irksome? That my darling Topher Brink (aka Fran Kranz) is getting the boot. Grrr! Argh! He seemed perfect for the role (which I have to imagine is being tweaked as well) and can absolutely hold his own in the acting department. He has great comedic timing and a hell of a lot of depth. I was really looking forward to seeing him again (you know, in a less Thoughtpocalypse kind of way). Sigh. Considerably less irksome? That guy playing the womanizer (with the plan to sleep with a representative from the major religions) is also being recast. I didn't recognize him (after checking IMDb, it appears he's been in stuff here and there, but nothing noteworthy--you know you're in trouble when the official description doesn't list anything) and didn't find him appealing at all. He certainly didn't strike me as a ladies man (at least not a successful one). Anyway, he won't be missed. Regarding the elements which will be staying the same (presumably), I love Ryan Hansen and think that if anyone could pull this off (and temper the Fran Kranz ouster), it's him. His days as douchey Dick Casablancas on Veronica Mars always make me smile. He wasn't terribly appealing back then (which was the point), so I'm actually pretty surprised at how he came across here (i.e. likable and attractive). The other leads are basically unknown to me, but they seemed to acquit themselves well. The concept is pretty basic and standard and I don't think it'll take more than a season for one (or both) of the primary leads to fall in love with the other, but all in all, it looks like it could be some mindless fun. Ryan Hansen is funny even when the script isn't, so in spite of some "meh" jokes in the trailer and some less-than-stellar line deliveries by his co-star (maybe it's just her voice, but it feels like she's playing a character, not that she is that character--"Well, what would you expect from the acting school of One Tree Hill?" chimes the audience), I think he's abundantly suited to anchoring a comedy. The creative team has some promise, even if 500 Days of Summer didn't really do it for me... My main quibbles with that movie had little to do with the comedy, so here's hoping the writers are better equipped for serialized TV rather than film. This feels like NBC's latest attempt at bringing back the glory days of Friends (hell, let's put "Friends" in the title!), but the odds of it being the cultural hotspot of its predecessor are slim. It looks like it could be a really solid comedy, but again, it's hard to know exactly what this is going to be. I'll give a serious shot to just about anything with Ryan Hansen at the helm. God, I miss Veronica Mars (speaking of which, did everyone see Jason Dohring on Lie to Me? I really miss him as well).


LOVE BITES

Description: From Emmy Award-winning writer-producer Cindy Chupack (Sex and the City). Stars Becki Newton (Ugly Betty) and Jordana Spiro (My Boys), whose character names are Annie and Frannie--no, I'm not kidding, although I wish to hell I were. This is kind of a weird one and doesn't have much in the way of a regular cast. Apparently each episode will include several vignettes or something... Their story will anchor the series, while other romantically-challenged characters will come and go each week. Hence, LOTS of guest stars, not so many regulars. Chupack is creator, executive producer and writer. Marc Buckland (My Name Is Earl) also is executive producer and directs the pilot.



My Take: Okay, wow, this might just not speak to my sensibilities, but this looks positively painful. I actually quite like Jordana Spiro, but she and what's-her-face appear to be aiming for Romy and Michelle and are failing, failing miserably. Spiro's ditzy dingbat voice might be a character affectation, but that makes it no less annoying or disingenuous (maybe that's the point? the character is all a front? here's hoping...). More than that, I've never been a big fan of meaningless A-plots, and this show appears to have based itself around that concept entirely. I watch television because it's serialized. While lazy viewers might like a show that they can tune into once in a while and still know exactly what's going on, those are my least favorite shows. If I wanted a self-contained, one-time thing, I'd watch a movie, thanks. Anyway, the concept is dubious for me at best and the creative team leaves much to be desired. I watched exactly 10 minutes of the Sex and the City movie and they had pretty much the exact same gag with the two hot guys turning out to be gay. It was uber-predictable the first time, so you can imagine how thrilling it was to see it once again. Way to recycle, Chupack. I appreciate it when people go green. Quite frankly, can we excise the actual leads of this show and follow the attractive gay guys instead? Pretty please? This feels more like a string cornball casting stunts than an actual series and that is an immediate turn off. I'll never understand the concept of introducing characters, developing them in a way that makes the audience really care about them, and then never having them on the show again. It's like what happened with Cupid. I ended up caring more about the story-of-the-week than the series regulars, so it was beyond irksome when I'd never seen the actually interesting characters ever again and was stuck with total crap. The writing is weak and rife with cliches, the base concept is way too A-plot based to appeal to me, and the two leads aren't coming across as nearly as well as they could. Best part of the trailer? Getting to see Kyle Howard again. He was always one of the better aspects of My Boys. Which, while My Boys was never a home run or anything, appears to have been a million times better than this. Spiro and Howard could do (and have done) better.


PERFECT COUPLES

Description: Stars Kyle Howard (My Boys), Christine Woods (Flash Forward), David Walton (Heist), Mary Elizabeth Ellis (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia), Hayes MacArthur (She’s Out of My League), and Olivia Munn (Attack of the Show). Jon Pollack (30 Rock) and Scott Silveri (Friends) are the executive producers while Andy Ackerman (Seinfeld, The New Adventures of Old Christine) is the director.



My Take: Are we sensing a theme here? Dadgummit, NBC is going to find the second coming of Friends if it's the last thing they ever do! Or at least they're going to try. And try. And try. This one even has a Friends producer on board. Holy hell, this slate of new comedies is redundant. Speaking of redundant, hey look! It's another My Boys alum! Oh wait, it's the same alum! Anyway, and once again, this one just isn't really jumping out and grabbing me. It doesn't look awful, but it definitely smacks of the inexplicable cliche that men are clueless morons and women are irrational shrews, a la Knocked Up. Okay, not that bad. Nothing could be that bad, but you know what I mean. If the writers can find a way to make these people truly endearing and charming, this show could really work, but I'm cautious. The base concept doesn't leave as much storyline wiggle room as audiences' generally go for (you know, what with the perils of dating being essentially removed). There's just something about established couples that doesn't have people glued to their screens. Okay, there are actually a whole lot of things. It'll be interesting to see exactly what angle the writers take with this, but so far, none of these characters seem all that engaging. They strike me as annoying more than anything. But, as with any show, they might just need time to really establish themselves. I've seen a couple of clips of the show that make it look a lot more promising. The creative team is solid, so if there's enough here that it can work, they're the ones to pull it off. I have to admit, the gag with the dramatic walk-away soundtrack made me smile. The stuff about how annoying married couples can be? Not so much. Here's hoping the writers avoid that. Maybe you have to be married to find that kind of pettiness hilarious... I, for one, am not, and do not. At least Kyle Howard is getting work?