Week-In-Review 3.2

Well, kiddies, March is upon us. That's means we're in for a major slump in new programming. February is a sweeps month (hence all the explosions and whatnot), and shows end their seasons in May (yet another sweeps month), so March is the wayward middle child who gets no attention. Quite frankly, it it weren't for cable, I'd be in sorry shape right now. Anyway, there may be some slim pickins in the weeks to come, but here's what struck me this week.

Saddest Kiss: Being Human (UK)
This show has the most amazing ability to balance the utterly hilarious and the completely heart-breaking. It never does anything in the straight-forward way that you’d except and always keeps you on your toes. Having alluding to an Annie/Mitchell hook-up in previous episodes, viewers knew something was coming, but I don’t think any of us expected the long-awaited kiss to come in such a devastating way. Poor Mitchell. Guy just can’t catch a break. Honestly, you slaughter a few people on a train and everything just falls apart.

Mediocre-est New Show: Breakout Kings
I neither liked nor disliked this show enough to write a full post about it. Plus, with it airing on A&E, I’m probably the only one who saw it anyways. It’s essentially the Mod Squad, but with the US Marshals holding the reins and the convicts only allowed out of prison for each case. It’s a concept that’s been done a million times because it’s usually pretty successful. With Breakout Kings, I think we have an unfortunate case of “Lots of potential, failed execution.” It wasn’t a total disaster, but if I had to sum the pilot up in two words or less, I’d go with “seriously flawed.” Those were actually the first words out of my mouth as the pilot drew to a close. The real problem with the show is that the writers seemed to be having a hell of a time coming up with things for the convicts to do. It really shouldn’t be that hard to find awesome uses for their criminal talents, but the pilot basically had one guy pick a lock, the token hot chick hit on a guy to steal his cell phone (I got the disconcerting feeling that the writers seriously didn’t know what to do with her character) and get free breakfast, and the ever-present socially-awkward genius on these shows (he’s basically Dr. Reid) determined that a girl was telling the truth. Um, yay? For a concept like this, I was surprisingly bored. The Dr. Reid of the show is the real star and was the only character that I actually invested in. He’s played by Jimmi Simpson (who played Mary in the Mr. Yang episodes of Psych) and he’s the only actor who really brought anything special to the table. I don’t think he’ll be able to make up for the rest of the cast, but he made it worth it for me to give the show one more week. Theoretically, this show should be exciting and awesome, so maybe there’s still a chance. After only the pilot, however, I’m very tempted to just stick with White Collar for all my cop/criminal alliance needs. I’d give the Breakout Kings pilot a C-.

Most Heavy-Handed, yet Ambiguous Metaphor: Soda Destruction on Shameless
So… as a card-carrying English major, I’ve been trained to look beneath the surface, but not always with successful or pleasant results. At first glance, a vigorous sex scene between Karen and Lip intercut with a scene of Carl tossing a 2-liter bottle of soda off a ledge and exploding on impact (“Shatter-proof, my ass…”) seemed mildly incongruous. After about a second and a half of thinking however, I can’t decide if the exploding soda was a metaphor for sexual climax or it goes beyond that and points to a condom breaking (in which case, an unfortunate pregnancy storyline will likely be forthcoming). I’m hoping for the former, but I have a sinking feeling it’s the latter.

Most Devastating Reunion: Mama Gallagher on Shameless
This show was little hit or miss at the beginning, but in recent episodes it seems to have really hit its stride. Sunday’s outing was excellent in general, but really became a force to be reckoned with in its final scenes. I’d been wondering whatever happened to their mother (Monica) since day one, and now we know. Turns out, Frank was the better parental option. Ouch. To have their mother desert them in the first place must have been devastating, but to have her return intent on taking the younger children? That’s just unbearably cruel. Especially for Fiona, who was forced to step in and be the mother for the past two years. Man alive, seeing Carl and Debbie hug Monica after she asks to be their mother again was like a punch in the face. It’s understandable that 9 and 10 year old kids would be able to look past the desertion in the interest of getting mommy back, but that doesn’t take away the sting. This show does a wonderful job of exploring how different a family dynamic is for younger and older children and it always shows on the faces of the older kids just how screwed up things really are.

Best Reason to Reunite with an Ex: House
I broke up with this show at the beginning of this season, but, upon hearing about Monday’s episode, decided to tune in. A singing, dancing, piano-playing House? Um, yes please. Aside from the boring-as-ever random patient of the week, it was a wonderful episode that managed to take an unbelievably tired routine and make it something special. Asking Mia Micheals to choreograph was the first step in the right direction. The other genre nods were entertaining and all, but the warped Busby Berkeley number was tremendous.

Soundest Termination: Charlie Sheen
Um, WINNING. (That would be society.)

Most Ridiculous Deluge of New Pilots: Click HERE for a list of all the newest pilots and the array of talent attached to them. Please bear in mind that a pilot being filmed does not mean that a show will necessarily show up on your TV anytime soon (or ever, in a lot of cases). From what I’ve read, there may be a few winners this coming fall, but by and large, it’s more of the same shit.

Most Disconcerting Tease: True Blood promo for season 4
Well, Eric has apparently lost his memory… which, at a thousand years old, is quite a lot to lose. I’m not sure how I feel about this. Eric is the primary reason I watch the show, so if Eric isn’t Eric, does it make a sound? You know what I mean.

Best Attempt at a Return to Form: Glee
So, after over a month of nothing but lackluster, disappointing episodes courtesy of Ian Brennan and Ryan Murphy, we finally got a Brad Falchuk episode to ease the pain. It wasn’t one of his best episodes, but even his worst attempts are generally better than his fellow writers. What’s this? Emotional resonance and character development?! Huzah! I could live without the PSAs though, I have to say. Dear Glee, Let the action speak louder than words. If the narrative is strong enough, you don’t need to have your characters say exactly how you feel about an issue. Sheesh. I keep expect that “The more you know” star to shoot across the screen.

Gag that Would Have Been a Whole Lot Awesomer if Arrested Development Hadn’t Done it First (and Better): Glee’s rendition of Afternoon Delight
It was still pretty funny, but it mostly just made me pine for the good old days. Indeed, the discussion of Arrested Development’s version with the fam made me miss half the Glee edition.

Best Game Changer: The White Collar season finale… with Neal’s storage unit of fun.

Best Performance: Michael Cudlitz for the season finale of Southland
To be fair, it was hard to pick just one actor who stood out (the cast on that show is amazing), but I think Cudlitz takes the cake (or the vicodin, as it were). “I’m a cop,” he notes upon checking into rehab for substance abuse… Understated, yet heartbreaking, as always. Well done.

Most Obviously Political Decision: Carla is sent packing on Top Chef, not Antonia
Based on their dishes and the judges initial perceptions of those dishes, Antonia should have gone home. Her dish was poorly conceived and poorly executed. Carla’s dish at least had a promising idea behind it. But, Antonia has been a shining star lately, and is a favorite to win, so the judges and producers of the show gave her a pass. Don’t get me wrong, of the four finalists (who happen to be some of the least-likely All Stars to make it this far), she’s really the only one who can really challenge Richard Blais. He’s really the only finalist that I really thought would be a finalist. I’ve been pulling for his since day one, but he’s been revealed to be kind of a dick in these past few episodes, so now I don’t really care who wins. So long as it’s anyone but Mike Isabella, I’m happy.

Toughest Love: Mags Bennett on Justified
Wow… This show has a slower, more deliberate pace than most which lulls you into a comfort zone just in time for moments of absolute horror. The smooth Kentucky feel actually makes the terror more effective because you just never know when a quiet conversation over Apple Pie Moonshine might turn into a murder. Most recently, Mags’ brand of justice reared its ugly head on Coover’s hand… with a hammer. Yi-hikes.

Most Refreshing Dismissal of Protocol in the Face of a Disastrous Showing: Face Off
This show usually allows the challenge winner to recommend someone to go home to the judges, but after Megan’s spectacular failure in the disguise challenge (she basically just gave herself a spray-tan and a wig—my god! It’s like she’s disappeared!), the judges thankfully dismissed with the formality and just sent her packing immediately. Look, Megan, I realize your facial prosthetics weren't working (what with your total lack of skill and all), but it would have been more admirable to have presented sub-par prosthetics than to have given up completely. Ridiculous. And the judges knew it. No need for a recommendation, no need for discussion or deliberation, she was the clear loser and everyone knew it. Way to not waste my time, show. Much appreciated. Had you sent her home three weeks ago like she deserved, I’d have been even more impressed, but this works too.

Best Reason to Rewatch Season 2 of True Blood: The only new show that evening is Bones
Yep, I had a brand new episode just sitting there on the DVR, yet I opted to rewatch True Blood instead. The only reason I recorded it in the first place was because of the total lack of anything else, but even that wasn’t enough incentive.

Clearest Indiacation that Someone at Jeopardy is a Batman Fan: The two competitors challenging returning champion Mike were named Harley and Quinn
You have no idea how much this made my day. There's no way that was a coincidence. Those just aren't common enough names. They were even standing in the right order with Harley in the middle and Quinn on the far right. Harley Quinn! Ha! I love it!

**Quotes of the Week**

Library Aide: “I’ve got a signed first edition of Harry Potter.”
Debbie: “Overrated. Made a better movie than a book. And now with all those kid actors grown up, they’re scarier-looking than the villains.”
--Debbie, on Shameless. I assume she was mainly talking about Ron… (Boy, I’m not generally fond of kids on shows, but little 10-year-old Debbie is fantastic.)

“I thought we were supposed to be the scary ones!”
--George, Being Human (UK). No, George, I’m afraid you’re just adorable. Well, most of the time…

“It wasn't always known as White Collar. The series was pitched as Commuted, with the tagline: ‘He ended his sentence with a proposition.’”
--Oh dear lord, that’s fabulous! I don’t love the title Commuted in and of itself, but that tagline cracks me up. The English major within is very, very happy.

Neal: “I haven’t lied to you, Peter. I’m not lying to you now. I didn’t steal the art.”
Peter: “I think you did.”
Neal: “Then prove it. Prove it.”
--Oooh, next season of White Collar is going to be insane, people. Ahhhh!

“Love these ‘Thousands Of Fish Die’ stories. They raise a lot more excitement than our ‘Thousands Of Sudanese Die’ stories.”
--via twitter, courtesy of BrookeAlvarez from The Onion News Network. Gotta love The Onion.

“You’re like the hillbilly whisperer, Raylan.”
--Art noting Raylan’s way with hicks on Justified.

Losing that Loving Feeling

As you probably surmised given the dismaying brevity of my shows-I-love list, this season isn't exactly bowling me over in most departments. In terms of news shows, never have I been so underwhelmed. Honestly, the only new network (heh, which I accidentally typed "newtwork"... must be Halloween hangover) shows that I kept (and that are still on the air) are Nikita, Blue Bloods, and Raising Hope. Technically, The Event made the cut, and lord knows NBC needs all the nuggets of encouragement it can get, but more accurately, it's been building up on my DVR and I just haven't been all the keen on getting caught up... Of those, only Nikita genuinely has me excited week-to-week. Blue Bloods is well-made and has a strong cast, but its cases-of-the-week aren't exactly breaking new ground here. Raising Hope is fun and enjoyable (and I don't think I'll ever be able to look at Garret Dillahunt the same way ever again--sorry Burn Notice, the menace is officially gone), but it isn't exactly appointment TV either.

That said, you'd think my older shows would be getting a lot more love, but no. They too have been fairly disappointing this year (with a couple of notable exceptions--namely Castle, The Vampire Diaries, and The Good Wife). My relationships with my long-term lovers has been strained of late... sometimes ending in flat-out divorce.

IN NEED OF COUPLES COUNSELING

CHUCK
Oh, Chuck. It's been a long, tumultuous road of near-constant worry about our future together. I don't think I've ever had a show that has been on the bubble so many years in a row. For a quick insight into how spectacularly screwed NBC is, ponder this. After years of having to beg for renewal and only barely scraping by, Chuck has suddenly become one of NBC's highest rated scripted shows. Sadly for NBC, this is not because Chuck's ratings have improved. On the contrary, it's really that the rest of NBC's programming has crashed and burned. Chuck was renewed at the end of last season with a tentative 13 episode initial order. I think NBC assumed that some of its huge slate of new pilots would catch on and they'd be able to axe Chuck sooner than later. Well, rather than axing the show, they've not only given it a full order, they've given it more than a full order. I believe their total episodes will be 24, which is two over usual. Ha! It's truly shocking how pathetic the network has gotten. It's been going downhill ever since Zucker got his hands on things, but this is just sad. Chuck regularly scores a 1.9 in the key demo. For any other network, that would absolutely be cancel-worthy (well, except for the CW, but that's a whole other story). But, on NBC, a consistent 1.9 is close to the best they could hope for and is among their highest rated shows. What does all this rambling have to do with our strained relationship, you ask? So here's the deal. Chuck has been picked-up for a super-sized season... and I don't really care.

In years past, this would have been cause for celebration, but now? I honestly would have been fine with the show wrapping things up. There are a lot of reasons why this show has lost most of its luster. First and foremost, the initial dynamics of the show, the dynamics that made it so fun and charming, have mostly been lost. I realize that after so many episodes that was inevitable, but that doesn't make it interesting. So far this season, I've been pretty damn bored. The show still has its moments, but on the whole, it's starting to feel like a chore to watch week-to-week. Chuck and Sarah getting together for real has been as boring as I suspected it would be. No, wait, strike that, it's been way more annoying than that. Seriously, that episode where Chuck spent the entire time bitching about his relationship was utterly cringe-worthy. What's that? You say can decide which episode I'm talking about because that sounds like a lot of them? My point exactly. Don't get me wrong, the will-they-or-won't-they antics needed to stop. But I think I'd greatly have preferred they stopped because one or both of them found someone else to be with. I'm sorry guys, I really don't like them together. It's boring and Chuck's whining has gotten untenable. I have never felt for even a second that Sarah would ever make a good match for Chuck and now it appears I was right. Is anyone really enjoying watching this relationship? I'm sure not.

On top of that, the Buy More has gotten ridiculous, and not in a good way. It's now a government base of operations but no one knows this but Morgan? O--kay. Third (I think), the whole story arc with Chuck's mom has been pretty lame so far. I was super-excited for it at the end of last season, but it just hasn't grabbed me the way I'd hoped it would. I genuinely don't care if she's good or bad or Russian or whatever. Fourth, the missions are dull. Seriously, the A-plots this year have barely kept me awake. Fifth, Casey's daughter? Really? Sixth, Ellie and Awesome are having a baby... because that's just what a show does after so many seasons, right? At least it gives them something to do? You know, like shopping... and stuff...

Sadly, I'm pretty sure I could keep going. I'm trying to love the show like I once did, but if a show is doing things right, I shouldn't have to try at all. Chuck is a show that generally gets cooking after a good ways into a season, so I'm hanging in there, but believe me, I find myself caring less and less with each passing episode. Sigh.

GLEE
Glee is an odd duck with which I have a love/hate kind of relationship. Last season, it was mostly love. There were rough patches (cough-"Funk"-cough), but overall, this show totally appealed to my love of musicals, my appreciation of good comedy, and above all, the pure satisfaction of seeing something that isn't crime procedural hitting it big. I've never been obsessive about the show and don't find myself eager for the next week. Don't get me wrong, I love the show a lot of the time. Seriously, if Joss Whedon could direct every episode, it would be all love all the time. But what Whedon's sensational episode "Dream On" had that the show is increasingly missing is a little thing called story. Throughout season 1, there were more than a few times when it didn't really make much sense to have a song at that particular moment, but I was happy to let it slide. Each episode had a small handful of songs that mostly related to whatever the theme of the episode is. Nowadays? They don't even pretend to have a story most of the time. This show has turned into a series of musical vignettes. It's essentially a variety show with very little variety. This is where the love/hate really kicks in. I love a good musical number, but I hate it when it's completely pointless to the overall story. Wait, no, that implies that there's a story at all... It's weird, because this show will have one episode that reminds me of why I love it ("Grilled Cheesus" and "Duets") but then have these ridiculous theme episodes that have entertaining musical numbers and all, but not the slightest semblance of coherent storytelling (the absurd and delusional Britney tribute, the unfortunately watered-down Rocky Horror send up... seriously, you're replacing "transsexual" with "sin-sational"? Really? Ugh.) It's wildly uneven and disappointingly hit or miss with the ratio getting more and more unsettling with each passing episode. Musicals work when the music and the story are so seamlessly and logically married that you don't think twice about it. Of course that person would break into song right now! With Glee? It's a bit of a mess most of the time... I have heard some good things about upcoming episodes so I'm hopeful they'll find a way to return to former glory, but I think the iTunes dollar signs are a little too distracting for them to really see the big picture these days. They seem so hell-bent on jam-packing every episode with as many songs as possible and not really caring what they have to sacrifice in the process. It's the kind of show I knew couldn't last, but I really hope it hangs in there longer than this... I'm loving this one more than Chuck these days, but they really need to base the show on story, not songs (songs which, increasingly, I've never even heard of--maybe I'm old or uncool, but seriously, half the songs they pick I either hate or have no knowledge of whatsoever... which is all code for: more Broadway!. (Quick note: Wondering where Puck has been? Rumor has it he is making a solo album and the producers of the show were pissed... apparently this is penance.)

HIGH TIME FOR A DIVORCE

BONES
Ugh. The only reason I kept this sucker for as long as I did was that it was in an uncrowded timeslot. Well, that's no longer the case, so it's time to make a clean break. Good god this show has gotten awful. It was never great, but back in the day it at least made for a nice rainy day distraction. Now? It's practically unwatchable. Oh dear lord, did you see their Jersey Shore themed episode?! Shudder... Awful. Simply awful. That was the moment I removed it from my DVR for good. Man alive, the will-they-or-won't-they keeps trucking along at a snail's pace, the constant rotation of interns keeps reminding me of the horrendous Gormogon storyline and Zach's confoundingly stupid dismissal from the show, the stories-of-the-week are lamer than ever (which for this show, is really saying something), and the interpersonal dynamics between the few characters that I actually like are as dull as dirt. Oh, and Bones' new hairdo is hideous and makes her looks like a frumpy housewife from the 50's. It's hard to look it, even on fast-forward... Strike 317. So long once-mediocre, now sucktastic show! You won't be missed. And I'm keeping the mass spectrometer!

HOUSE
Well, what can I say? I'm simply done with this one. I held on through last season, but just can't take it anymore. Seriously, I've always been a Huddy proponent, but them getting together came about two years too late. Had House and Cuddy hooked up a couple of seasons back, I think there would have been some definite sizzle, but now? Who the hell cares anymore? I was willing to give it a shot regardless, but actually seeing them together is unbearable. Oh god, see these two holding hands and taking about their relationship was so awkward. Yikes, yikes, yikes. I couldn't even make it through the premiere. Five minutes of watching them as a couple was more than I could handle. It all just seemed so forced and out of character for both of them. Add that to the fact that I've never really cared about the A-plot, the fact that the ducklings have been broken up and recast about 87 times (with diminishing returns each time) and you've got a show that just needs to stop. I didn't even intend on divorcing this one before the season began, but ten minutes in, I knew it wasn't meant to be. One more free space on my DVR. Now I just wish I had a quality new show to replace it...

Well, there you have it. I usually have to make tough choices about older shows so that I have room for new blood, but this year? I'm cutting old shows without a second thought and not picking up any new ones. Well, not anything on network TV anyway... God bless cable is all I can say. And god bless The Vampire Diaries. Speaking of which, here's a little something to soothe the disappointment with TV at the moment. It's Ian Somerhalder dressed up as Stefan Salvatore for Halloween.

Ha! Simply fabulous. :) Geez, he looks so different with the lighter hair! I wouldn't suggest he make it a permanent change or anything, but I'm pretty sure he could be rockin' Richard Simmons' unfortunate coif and make it work.

Here's hoping next season has something better to offer... At the very least, NBC is in different hands now so hopefully the creative direction will be better... not that there's any money left. Ouch.

How The Mighty Have Fallen

I recently noted some of my new favorite shows on this blog and it's a damn good thing they've come along because some my higher ranking shows have fallen off the tracks (or in this case, dropped off my tiers almost entirely).

It's always a shame when a once beloved show falls out of favor, but for whatever reasons, the recent spate of mainstays disappointing or boring me has been more irksome than usual. I've broken up with shows in the past (Heroes and Grey's Anatomy were some of my more vitriolic recent break ups), but the shear volume of disappointments lately has been really depressing.

Here are some (though sadly, not all) of the current shit list occupants:

GOSSIP GIRL
It pains me to put Gossip Girl on this list, but what can I say? I think you'd be hard-pressed to find any die-hard fan who hasn't been let down by the current season. Where this used to be the very top of my very top tier, it is now teetering at the bottom of my third tier. This season started off a little shaky, but still enjoyable. Then the show went on a 4 month hiatus. Now my interest seems to be taking a 4 month hiatus... I have heard that the show is on an up-tick after several discouraging episodes, but I'm just not sure I have the strength to even get caught up. I currently have the last 4 or 5 episodes saved on my DVR and can't seem to motivate myself to watch them. Rather, I've been opting to re-watch other shows. And not even top tier shows at that... Why am I forsaking GG specifically?

• Chuck has been defanged. The whole beauty of a character like Chuck is that he's and uncompromising asshole. That's the whole point of a bad boy. He did as he pleased and pretended not to care what anyone thought. He was ruthless and debauched and malicious and wonderfully perverse. Nowadays? He's unbearably pedestrian. And mopey. The devilish glee with which he tortured his friends and enemies is gone and a new sad-sack version of Chuck has taken over. Getting him and Blair together could have been awesome, but instead, it basically ruined them both. I understand that this is a largely unavoidable pitfall of serialized TV. How long exactly can you have a character be the same bastard he's always been? For a character to remain interesting, he or she has to evolve. I just wish Chuck had evolved in a less depressing and untenable way. I hear a return to form is on the horizon and it's no shock to me that this will likely coincide with his and Blair's break-up.


• On a related note, Blair has gone from devious to annoying. The unfortunate decent of Chuck and Blair is due in very large part to the pair of them officially hooking up. As is so often the case, the tension was lost and the writers didn't know what to do with the new dynamic. So what did they come up with? Well, as discussed, Chuck became a mopey, sensitive snooze-fest and Blair? Well, apparently they decided that "weak" and "annoying" were the buzz words for Blair's new life. She was largely defanged as well and it gave her very little to do. Without having a high school to terrorize, she was basically lost. Neither she nor Chuck was left with any real purpose or direction, so Blair ended up turning all her energies on ridiculous and irritating pursuits, many of which involve whining at Chuck. Truth be told? It's been so long since I've jumped right into the show that I'm kind of forgetting where we left off... Last I remember, Blair was moralizing to everyone on the planet and trying to run their lives in completely pointless ways. I miss the badass queen B who ruled with an iron fist... With both Chuck and Blair reduced to pathetic shells of their former shells, the primary reason I watch the show basically imploded.


• I've seen so many combinations of couples that I simply don't care anymore. Serena and Dan. Dan and Vanessa. Vanessa and Nate. Blair and Nate. Nate and Jenny. Jenny and drug dealer guy. Lily and Rufus. Lily and Bart. Serena and Tripp. Serena and Nate. Back to Serena and Dan. Oh, holy hell, I stopped caring 18 relationships ago! When everyone is with everyone else from one week to the next, there's no suspense and very little payoff. Chuck and Blair were always the main reason I watched the show and now that they've lost my interest, the rest of the cast simply can't make up the gap.


• Gossip Girl herself doesn't really seem to matter anymore... This show used to be about the fact that there's no such thing as privacy. Gossip was used as a tool, a weapon, and a constant stream of entertainment. Now that they're in college? Not so much... I can't remember the last time Gossip Girl was even a key aspect of the main plot. She's been reduced to nothing but narrator and that kind of undercuts a show called Gossip Girl...

THE OFFICE
My faith and adoration of The Office has been slipping for the past few seasons, but lately? It's been relegated to the very bottom-most spot on my list. Even below Gossip Girl. Because, whereas with GG, I'm still recording them and have the intention of someday actually watching them, I barely even record The Office anymore and don't even kind of care if I never see episodes. I at least have some hope that GG will come back from its slump, but The Office has been hit or miss (mostly miss) for years now and I think I'm done. Every so often I'll catch and episode and while there are generally a few funny moments per episode, the past few I've seen have been so painfully unfunny that I didn't even finish them. It's hard to even remember what the episodes were about, let alone anything funny that happened in them. I was given quite a hard time when I first noted the slump in quality, but now, even longterm fans (oh, who am I kidding, especially longterm fans) have been forced to admit the decline. Some specific reasons it now mostly kinda sucks?

• Jim went from adorable prankster to managerial prick. Seriously, he suddenly became a real dick when he and Pam finally got together and it's not fun to watch. Even when he's pranking Dwight nowadays, it feels like he's just being an disdainful jackass. Thanks, but no thanks.


• Jim and Pam. That's pretty much the whole complaint. Wait. No. Jim and Pam and a baby. Oh, good lord, that's the way to make things better... You know, because bringing a baby onto a show always helps. [Sarcasm duly noted? Good.]


• It's not about the monotony of office life anymore. That was always the best part of the show and now? It's just one ridiculous hijink after another.


• Just about every character on the show is a cartoon character these days. You'd think that would make it funnier, but when there's no one who isn't clinically insane, the whole set-up falls apart.


• The show has been on for a really long time and the magic is gone. This is a problem for any show that's been on for more than a couple of seasons and The Office is feeling it. Bad.

HOUSE
This is kind of an interesting one... After the old ducklings were dismissed (except for Foreman, of course--because the secret ingredient in reinventing a show is keeping the lamest character around), the new ducklings started to drag things into the depths pretty quickly. I had largely lost all interest, but was still keeping up with the show. Barely. I would often fast-forward through the lamer storylines (13 + Parkinson's (or Forman) = where the hell did I put the remote?) and didn't seem to miss anything at all. The A-plots bored me even more than usual and the characters weren't holding my attention long enough to compensate. When the characters you actually care about only get 3 minutes of screen time a piece, it's hard to stay interested... But, in recent months, Foreman has been mostly marginalized, Cuddy finally got her groove back (the episode that focused on her was a refreshing change of pace and easily one of the best episodes in recent years), Wilson is getting more screentime, and Chase is back! It's as though the powers that be actually listened to my prayers! I'm not saying it's back in the top tier, but it has managed to pull itself up from no man's land to a respectable position in my second tier. Here's hoping this trend continues. If they could just get rid of the patient-of-the-week I think we'd have a top spot contender on our hands... Although admittedly, even the patients-of-the-week have been better. It's still the standard, tired conceit of yore, but I'm not fast-forwarding through as much of it...

PSYCH
Yet another show that it pains me to include on this list... Psych isn't in as dire of straights as other shows on this list (it simply moved from top tier to second), but it's headed in a direction that isn't encouraging. I think it's simply been on for too long. With the light-hearted tone and straight-up procedural concept, it's hard to really explore characters or develop new ones, but I don't think this show has any other choice at this point. It's been the same old thing for way too long. Even the aspects of the show that I once loved have gotten tired and tedious. Shawn's cavalier, snarky barbs and crazy antics are falling flat after this much repetition and his and Gus' interactions have gotten completely stale. The most recent season started off with a bang, but the closing episodes left me underwhelmed. Add to the monotony the belabored will-they-or-won't-they relationship between Shawn and Juliet and the show is starting to fizzle. I'm not totally sure I even really care anymore. All the characters seem to have been boiled down into one-note cardboard cutouts of themselves so even when the writers try to give some depth or range, it seems artificial. I enjoyed the season finale quite a lot and hope it points to better things to come, but I'm not exactly brimming with confidence. I don't know what the show could really do to reinvent things, but they've got to do something or I fear I'm doomed to break up with this one. Here's hoping they get the spark back before my interest really starts to evaporate...

New Year's Resolutions

I've never been one for setting goals, so the whole New Year's resolutiony thing has always struck me as pretty stupid. When asked by my fourth grade teacher what my goals for the next semester were (awwh, parent-teacher conferences... how very lame and mind-meltingly waste of timey), I couldn't come up with a damn thing. After several minutes worth of prodding, I rather wearily responded with, "I don't know... perform a lobotomy?" I was going to add "on you," but restrained myself. Not that there likely would have been much for me to remove, but at least it would be a goal worth giving a shot.

Fifth grade was no more fruitful. As an old, tattered written record of events confirmed for me a couple of years ago, when I couldn't come up with a academically acceptable goal, my teacher suggested, "How about... be less cynical..." My ten-year-old self had to concede the point.

Anyway, as I have a history of sucking at things like goals and resolutions for myself, I have opted to dole them out for TV.

TV and I have kind of been on the rocks lately. Between the current season just not quite doing it for me (across the board, to large extent) and the fact that TV abandoned me several weeks ago, I have a few grievances to air and more than a few suggestions to make.

RESOLUTIONS TV SHOWS/PRODUCERS/NETWORKS/ACTORS/ETC SHOULD MAKE:

• NBC: ...needs to stop sucking so very royally. Resolution #1? Man up and fire Jeff Zucker already! He's the CEO and president of the network and has been the driving force that rammed the network into the giant iceberg. After Comcast took over, I was sure he'd finally (FINALLY) get the axe, but no. I don't know what deals he's been making or with whom (good money is on Lucifer himself), but he must be in bed with some pretty powerful people to have been spared. Maybe it's a Stonecutters' plot... In other NBC resolution news, #2: They need to cancel The Jay Leno Show and Mercy immediately, they need to scale back on The Biggest Loser (the show has never needed to be two hours long, let's face it), and give talented writers some incentive to bring their shows to the network. As is, most writers worth their salt take their projects to a network that actually knows what the hell its doing, and NBC's scripted programming has been in stark decline ever since. They need to bring back the 9 o'clock hour and fill it with solid scripted programming. #3: Put Heroes out of its (and our) misery. I broke up with this one ages ago, but I still hear tidbits about it here and there and let me tell ya, I find myself gladder and gladder we broke up with each passing news bite. Yeah, apparently Ali Larter is playing identical quadruplets these days and Sylar is Nathan or something. Yikes. #4: They need to hold on to Chuck for dear life and give it a promotional campaign and timeslot that will actually allow it to survive. From what I'm hearing, the coming season is going to be better than ever. Can't. Wait. :)
  
  
• GOSSIP GIRL: ...needs to get back on track and return to its former glory. In a bizarro twist of fate, it's not even really the fact that they graduated from high school that has caused the problem. The show was never about high school to begin with, so that's the least of the show's worries. If anything, the problem is that it revolves too much around school these days as opposed to too little. The last few episodes have somewhat bolstered my confidence, but at the end of the day, the dynamics that make this show so great have largely been eliminated. Resolutions? #1: Break up Chuck and Blair. I know, I know, blasphemy, right? As much as I enjoy seeing them together on one level, on all other levels the relationship has lost all of its fire and snark. They need to break them up so that a new dynamic (one much more like their old dynamic) can take over. I would love to see them break up over betrayals on both sides of the fence. That would put them on an even keel for war. Which brings me to #2: Both Chuck and Blair have been suffering from badass decay for the entire season. Chuck much more so than Blair, but both have lost a lot of what made them awesome. It's satisfying to see other sides of Chuck's personality, but when it's done to the exclusion of the motherchucker core that we know and love, it's a wrong step. Also, he seems to have very little to do these days besides board meetings and crap. They need to give him a juicy storyline that awakens the badass of yore. Same goes for Blair. She's been relegated to little more than an annoyance for Chuck and a busybody without any real direction. #3: The writers need to raise the stakes and bring back the crazy. Remember when Blair was dating a British lord? Or when Little J was at the center of a social upheaval that we actually cared about? Or when Chuck... actually mattered? Yeah, they need to bring that all back. Stat. #4: Cut dead weight. Vanessa, I'm looking in your direction. #5: Bring back Gossip Girl herself. Seriously, when was the last time a storyline had anything to do with the website at all? The first two seasons presented a tantalizing and disturbing world when nothing is every private and everyone's dirty laundry is public, whether they like it or not. Gossip Girl was a weapon and a menace, and I miss that conceit. I could go on, but there are other shows which need to be taken to task...



• GLEE: ...needs to recognize what they've got and work with it better. As with Gossip Girl, I loves me some Glee, but there are still aspects which annoy me. #1: I'm a huge fan of anything that includes singing and dancing, but for a show like Glee, the musical numbers are so over-produced that it kind of takes me out of the moment. Seriously, you can't go from regular TV show conversation to a 40 person chorus and full musical accompaniment without it being a bit jarring. It makes the songs feel less organic to the story and makes the lip-syncing all the more apparent. #2: They kids are great performers, but not the greatest of actors. Some of them can certainly hold their own and generally speaking, they're adequate, but I think more emotional resonance and more convincing connections with the action would help considerably. #3: Accept the fact that Finn is NOT the show's male lead. The show keeps acting like he's the amazing glue holding the band of misfits together, but in actuality, he gets schooled by just about everyone else on the show. His singing and dancing are simply not strong enough and as a heartthrob? He falls short. I think we all know Puck is the real winner in this battle and Finn just isn't going to change that. Puck is a better singer, performer, and overall better character. It's no wonder people are pulling for Puckleberry (Rachel and Puck) while Rachel and Finn don't even have a celebrity portmanteau. Ouch.



• V and FLASHFORWARD: ...need to be completely retooled. V is painfully boring and FlashForward is laborious. Both shows have merit and potential, but unless they get their heads back in the game, they're well on their way to being cancelled. #1: V needs to build up characters that we actually care about. Seriously, 95% of the cast is just kind of... there. I think I'd be a lot more invested in the story if I cared one bit about the players. #2: V also needs to figure out what its end game is. At this point, they've established one big, huge storyline, but they don't seem to know where they want to go with it in the long run. Aside from "humans vs. aliens," they seem to be spinning their wheels. #3: FlashForward needs to get its head out of its ass and nail down its concept and characters. The show established this conceit about people seeing their futures and whether destiny is finite, but week to week they can't seem to decide if the future really matters or if what they saw is inconsequential. It takes away a lot of the gravity and just seems a little too convenient. #4: They also need to build up characters we care about. At this point, it's an entire ensemble of dour, earnest, wet blankets who are kind of tedious to watch.



• HOUSE: ...just needs to stop. I have loved the show for many, many years, but the conceit has become oppressive and the character development is suffering as a result. #1: Either eliminate the patient of the week or find a way to reinvent it. I've been bored to tears with the POTW pretty much since the show began, but it was tenable because the POTW created a framework for character interaction and development. Now the dynamic is largely wasted and I find myself fast-forwarding through the standard medical crap that I stopped caring about ages ago. It's been the same routine for over 100 episodes and I just can't take it anymore. #2: Cut dead weight. Foreman, 13, and Taub, I'm looking in your direction. It's not that they couldn't bring in new and interesting characters (I miss Amber more and more with each passing episode), but the show seems to have opted for dull over substantive or likeable. Good thinkin', writers! #3: Either resolve the Huddy issue already or let it go. The teasing is getting ridiculous.



• FOX: ...needs to work out a schedule that doesn't make people want to shoot themselves. Seriously, most of their heavy hitters are benched until April, and that, my friends, I simply cannot abide. #1: They should just axe the ailing and aging American Idol and 24. Every year that 24 comes back, I just have to shake my head. Even die hard fans are pretty sick of it at this point. I don't watch the show (what can I say? American jingoism and nationalist propaganda just don't quite do it for me), so all it presents for me is an obstacle to more Glee. As for American Idol, I've loathed that crapfest since its inception and the fact that it basically takes over the network every spring is like an obnoxious, slightly tipsy, thoroughly tacky slap in the face. #2: They need to not air So You Think You Can Dance in the fall ever again. What a disaster. I realize that reality TV is cheap, and don't get me wrong, I love the show, but it's a summer show first, last, and always. Plus, if they opt for such a debacle once again, it'll put shows like Lie to Me (which got pretty good after Shawn Ryan took the reins) and Fringe (which I had to give up on, but have been meaning to give it a second chance). Really, anytime reality trumps scripted I'm less than thrilled, so even when it's a reality show I enjoy, it's still a blow.
  
  
• PROJECT RUNWAY: ...needs to return to the Bravo network. I was trying to nail down all the things that were wrong with last season and it all boiled down to the switch to Lifetime. The show had the same look, same set up, and same host, but what it lacked it lacked in spades. You know, like entertainment value? Good god last season was dull. Even when it was good it was boring. Bravo just has a knack for this kind of programming that is unparalleled and Lifetime simply couldn't do it justice. #1: Bring back Nina Garcia as a regular judge. She didn't earn the nickname "Mean-a Garcia" for nothing. She was always the most delightfully brutal and blunt of them all and in her absence, many of the lackluster designs got a pass. #2: Come up with original challenges. I realize the show has been through 6 (is it 6?) seasons and that fresh ideas are harder and harder to come by, but I think the salvation of the show depends on it. Look at Top Chef. It just completed its 6th (is it 6th?) season and it's better than ever. The grudge match between the brothers Voltaggio certainly helped, but the show really managed to come up with some new and interesting challenges.

I'm sure there are other grievances for other shows that should probably be included, but compiling just these was taxing enough. Come on TV, be more funny! (A little something for all the Simpsons fans out there.) Really, TV needs to be a whole lot of things at the point, but bottom line? Most of my shows just need to be better. When they're competing with the awesomeness that is Burn Notice, Castle, Dexter, Psych, etc., they really need to step up their games.

Here's hoping they're better at keep resolutions than I am. You know, the fake resolutions that I just made up and that they don't even know about...

And no, my logic is not suspect.

House Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

I hate to admit it, but I wasn't all that psyched (heh, no pun intended) to watch the season premiere of House. After last season doled out disappointment after disappointment and overall just kind of bored me, I didn't have high hopes at all for the aging series. I've already spoken at length about how underwhelming and dull the new ducklings are, so I won't belabor the point, but sadly, they were only one component of last season's nose dive. I just stopped caring and was on the brink of breaking up with the show. The end of last season raised some interesting questions, however, and I'm a loyalist at the end of the day, so I was willing to hang in there.

The previews for this season's premiere only moderately piqued my interest, which is sadly, a marked increase, but I still didn't have high hopes. I DVR'd the premiere and then finally got around the watching it a couple of days later. Much to my pleasant surprise, not only did the premiere hold my attention for the entire two hours (an aspect I wasn't exactly looking forward to) but even managed to buoy my confidence in the show a bit.

In spite of the overall depressing tone of the premiere (a fact inherent in life on a psych ward), it was nice to see something different for once. I've seen House solve the same kind of mysteries in the same format year in and year out for entirely too long for it to be fresh or enthralling anymore. Seeing House in a new atmosphere (one he doesn't control) reinvigorated my interest in him as a character. The fact that he left the facility at the end of the episode genuinely bummed me out... I was really hoping House would stay in the mental hospital for longer than two episode's worth of time, but hey, we have to get back to Princeton Plainsboro so 13 can make us want to throw out our TVs, don't ya know...

Not every aspect of the premiere worked perfectly, but it was a much better outing than the show has had in a long time. Watching House face his own demons (as opposed to calling out everyone else's) made for a nice change of pace and brought out a different side to the character (but still managed to be House). In essence, House was forced to be his own patient and diagnose and treat his own issues. The staff at the hospital may have facilitated the process, but it was House himself who had to finally let go of his hang-ups and embrace humanity. House has always related to patients with mental problems or deficits, so it makes sense that he would finally open up to people in this kind of atmosphere.

I also quite enjoyed watching House get schooled by the doctors. House is generally accustomed to being the quickest and cleverest around, but in an atmosphere where the doctors have seen it all, House was out of his depth. As much as I enjoy watching House screw with people's heads, seeing him get bested was pretty satisfying. That and his disastrous trip to the carnival with the guy who thought he could fly were the tipping points, methinks. House actually doesn't always know what the best course of action is and had to own up to the consequences. He's been allowed to do as he pleases for so long that I really don't think he knew how to handle it. In the end, he acquiesced.

I'm not sure how (or if) the new and improved (?) House will reintegrate to his old surroundings, but I'm interested enough to want to find out. House may have made progress at the loony bin, but it'll be a sight to see if he manages to show his new side to his old friends and colleagues. It's one thing to let your guard down with a bunch of people you don't know or care about and who are (for the most part) insane, it's quite another to behave differently around people you've known for years. I'm less than confident that he'll be able to keep up his progress, but at least in intrigued enough to find out. I'm still not over the moon about the show starting up again (it has felt like a chore to watch for nearly two seasons), but I'm hopeful House's new mental state will enliven the show and curb the boredom. In the end, I think the only thing that could really and truly fix the show would be to cut the dead weight and bring in some genuinely interesting new blood. Word is, Dr. Cameron is being written out of the show, but she's not the dead weight I was talking about. I never knew just how much I loved her character until she was replaced. I'm hearing it was a creative decision on the part of the writers/producers, so in essence, Jennifer Morrison is being fired mid-season, which is always a bit of a shame. Story-wise it may be for the best, but it's always sad to see.

Adding to my apprehension/more than usual excitement for the new season, the House and Cuddy situation took a turn for the worse? better? weirder? last season and it seems House may have worked out some of his issues. I've always been a Huddy fan, but last season totally deflated my investment in them as a potential couple. Once a couple actually gets together, the dynamic changes and I'm not sure that's a good thing. I'm always a little wary of the pay off, but sometimes that's just the road that has to be taken (especially after 5 years of toying with the idea). I'd be more reluctant for things to take that turn, but with a flagging series, I'm pretty much open to anything. It can't possibly make things worse than last season, right? In the end, at least I'm not so overly invested in the show that I couldn't cut ties in the event that it actually is worse. With some shows, I'm so thoroughly engrossed that the thought of breaking up is unfathomable. It's at times like these that bad storyline decisions hurt the most. With House, I'm at the point of take it or leave it, which in a way, is incredibly freeing.

I was intrigued by the premiere, but I'm really not all that excited for House's return to Princeton Plainsboro tonight. I'm invested enough to keep up, but something pretty striking will need to happen for the show to ever regain a top tier position again. At present, it's at the bottom of the second tier and if the next few episodes don't reel me in, I'll have to banish the show to the third tier... a position I couldn't have imagined for this show just a few short seasons ago...

Sigh.

I miss Amber...

This Old House

My relationship with House has been a bit lackluster these past couple of seasons... It's not that things have gotten horrible or anything and I didn't feel that unrelenting need to break things off as I did with Grey's Anatomy and Heroes, but that's not to say it's been smooth sailing. Some relationships end in an annoyed, fiery, resentful cliff dive out of the whole messy business, and others just kind of fade away...

After five seasons, just about any show would start to loose some of its punch, but for a procedural in particular, episodes devolve into utterly routine even faster. There are exceptions, but by and large, I can tell you whether or not the diagnosis is correct based on how many minutes are left in the episode and can see House's epiphany coming from a mile away. Procedural shows are fairly formulaic on a fundamental level, given the nature of the conceit, so it's not unexpected that the show would follow the same format from week to week. It's one of the main reasons procedurals aren't exactly my favorites. In general, the A-plots kind of bore me. With House, the patient of the week forms the basis for pretty much the entire episode, and while I've always been invested enough in the patients to enjoy the A-plots well enough, they've never really been the reason I watch the show. The patients are more like a framework for House, Cuddy, Wilson, and the ducklings to work around and react to. Some patients are more intriguing than others, but after 5 seasons, I generally don't care anymore.

In many ways, the show is as good as ever, but I think most House fans can agree that the ushering in of new, and considerably crappier, ducklings, coupled with the criminally reduced screen time and story relevance of Cuddy and Wilson (and even Cameron and Chase) have rendered the past two seasons far inferior to the previous three.

I can definitely understand where the show wanted to get some new blood on board and even quite enjoyed the Survivor-style interview process of season 4, but the end results were underwhelming, disappointing, inexplicable, and most heinously... dull. Of all the potential ducklings, Amber was one of the few that really stood out as a character who could truly add a new facet to the aging show, but they went and killed her off. It's to Anne Dudek's credit that she managed to make a cutthroat bitch the best new character on the show and managed to make the story arc involving her death one of the best of the entire series. Aside from her presence, season 4 was a little misguided in my estimation, and without her, would have begun House's decent into the second (third?) tier all the quicker.

So, after the heart-wrenching brilliance of the final two episodes of season 4 (which managed to compensate for the otherwise marginal success of the rest of the season), my confidence was bolstered once again. As unenthused as I was with the winning ducklings, I was confident the writers had figured things out and would somehow manage to make it all work with the upcoming season.

I was wrong...

It's not simply that there had been a few cast changes. It wasn't just a devoted fan's defiance of change or a loyalty to the old characters. The new batch of underlings changed the dynamic for the show, but not in a good way.

I never truly appreciated the original ducklings until they were replaced. In fact, Cameron, Chase, and Foreman were my least favorite elements of the show. They were all annoying in their own special ways and during the first three seasons, I didn't pay too much attention to them. Cameron was whiny, Foreman was devoid of all personality, and Chase was just kind of pissy and lazy (which, given the bar being that low, made him my favorite). After the induction of Kutner, Taub, and [insert loatheful shudder] Thirteen, I found myself wishing I could have the old team back for pretty much all of this past season.

It's not just that they were new and rabid TV watchers fear change, it's that they are pretty much completely useless, unrelentingly annoying, and don't provide House (or any other character) with an interesting character to play off of. These three were desperate to be on House's team, so unlike the original trio, they never really stood up to him or challenged his assumptions. The old team may have been annoying, but they each served a very specific purpose. In their own way, each of the originals provided opposition for House to antagonize, mock, and appreciate. The newbies, on the other hand, spent all of season 4 trying to win a spot on the team, and the better part of season 5 not knowing what to do with themselves now that they had won. After three seasons of largely the same construction, I was very open to change, but the changes that were made fell flat, ultimately fizzled, and were deleterious to the elements of the show that were still working.

It's bad enough that Cameron and Chase were relegated to cameos at best (seriously, I think their combined screen time for all of season 5 would come in at about 20 minutes), but that Cuddy and Wilson were reduced to bit parts and their characters reduced to shells of their former selves was just unforgivable. Cuddy and Wilson were always my absolute favorite parts of the show, but Cuddy was reduced to a powerless, simpering idiot who wanted a baby and Wilson was turned into a mopey, useless, wet blanket after Amber's death. In that regard, their severely reduced screen time and relevance was actually kind of appreciated, but what little they showed up was mostly disappointing.

I really do believe their characters could have been salvaged (and to be fair, toward the end of this season, they had greatly improved over their early season selves), but so much time and attention was paid to the new ducklings that no other storylines could be paid due attention.

Most egregious and horrendously unsuccessful among the bunch? Do I even have to say?

Ask just about any House fan what the worst part of the past two seasons has been and you'll get a near unanimous answer: Thirteen. No contest, end of story, period. She was dead weight pretty much from the very beginning, but then throw in a belabored and unremittingly boring storyline about her Huntington's Disease and the show became nigh unwatchable. God bless my DVR, because if I hadn't been able to zip through those scenes with Lori Petty, I'd have been forced to break up with the show outright. Add to that her relationship with Foreman (far and away the most boring character on the show) and you've got a recipe for eye-gougingly painful TV. When you find yourself desperately hoping that a character will get shot or drugged to death during a hostage situation and that character is not the bad guy, you know you've got a problem. The show kept teasing that Thirteen could be bumped off, but then go and kill of Kutner instead. Kutner. The only one of the newbies who really had any potential. (I realize that was Kal Penn's decision, not so much the show's, but still.)

So between Kutner's death and Thirteen's life, how could I enjoy the show as I once had? Taub? Yeah, not so much. Don't get me wrong, somehow I was more interested in his marriage and career woes than with Thirteen's life-changing diagnosis and near death experiences, but he's no where near enough to make up for his fellow ducklings. Oy.

Amid all the detrimental changes that so tragically bogged down season 5, I found that even the elements that remained the same have been so overdone that I'm kind of bored with it. House is as snarky as ever, his medical deductions are still impressive, and his manipulations and insanities are ever present, but I've seen it all before. His wacky and often criminal approach to medicine was a joy from the beginning, but after five years of watching him do crazy things, they just don't have the same punch that they once did. House has always been the linchpin of the series, and Hugh Laurie is as brilliant as ever, but it just doesn't have the same effect. To quote a very wise, sagacious soul, "The thing is, there's not really anything wrong with the Itchy & Scratchy Show. It's as good as ever. But after so many years, the characters just can't have the same impact they once had." The setup, the conceit, House himself, the formula... They just aren't really doing it for me anymore. It's gotten to the point where the differentials have become perfunctory rather than illuminating and I just can't even bring myself to listen anymore, and that's coming from someone who's interested in medicine and likes to play along. Back in the day, I quite enjoyed listening to the back and forth, the diagnosis debate, and the ethical conundrums House put his team in, but between the underlings having no backbones and the show having dealt with over 100 patients, I just can't get all that excited about it anymore...

At the end of the day, it's still a good show, but I don't think it can hold up as it once did. I finally got around to watching the season finale last night, and while it was a very good episode with an interesting patient (who pointed out deeper facets to the main characters--an element that factors in to all the best patients on the show) and had a great twist, I have to admit I just wasn't all that enthralled overall. I really did enjoy the House/Cuddy and House/Wilson of it all, and it was lovely to see Amber for these past few episodes (proving to be one of the best parts of the show, even a year after her death), but all the pieces just seem overdone at this point. That House's perception of reality over the past few episodes has been warped and unreliable (at best) was the most fascinating part of this season's end. I really liked that the audience got to see how House's subconscious (psychosis?) or whatever is going on inside his head would construct his own universe and to find that his fantasy is completely different from his reality. For a character like House, whose rational brain is his greatest asset and most important quality, to suddenly find himself unable to tell what's real and what isn't made for a fascinating, and most importantly, refreshing dynamic on an otherwise aging show. The big reveal at the end of the episode, that the events of the past few days were largely a construct of House's vicodin-addled brain, was very well done. I particularly liked the bit with the lipstick. Unlike other shows (I'll get to my Bones finale ridiculous jump the sharkiness later...), House very subtly inserted clues that what we were seeing wasn't actually the reality of the situation. I kept thinking to myself, why has no one mentioned the fact that he's twirling a lipstick around? How is it that his leg pain has so thoroughly subsided? How did he totally detox so quickly? The show layered in little hints and conundrums, but didn't put everything together until the very end. It was very satisfying and had a hint of the old spark this show used to have on a regular basis.

The season ends with House entering a psychiatric facility and leaves the future of these characters way up in the air. As disappointed as I was with many facets of this season, the writers always manage to bolster my confidence in the end. I'm not breaking up with House, in spite of my concerns. It has become a second tier show, but I'm keeping the faith. I'll have to see how next season goes and have already accepted that this might have been my last full season of the show.

In many respects, it's as strong as ever, but after so many episodes of mostly the same routine, I'm a little bored, and to large extent, I've lost that lovin' feeling.

But I guess that's what marriage is all about. ;)

'07-'08 TV Season Year-in-Review: HOUSE

I've been meaning to post a "year in review" of the past TV season for several weeks now, but simply haven't gotten around to it. What with the writers' strike kind of screwing everything up and causing all the shows to end at varying points during the year, the end of this season just didn't have the same "finale fever" to which I am so delightfully accustomed. Given that nary a one of my new shows from last season (and even some of my established shows) ended back in December, it left only a handful to finish out the year in usual April/May fashion. As such, the reviews of shows that ended 6 months would be seriously lacking in detail (what with my hardly remembering how they ended and whatnot—a minor handicap, as you can imagine) and so I don’t think I’m going to include those in this series of posts.

Anyway, without further ado, here goes Chapter 1: HOUSE

Ahhh, House. A true love of mine since I finally got hooked toward the end of the first season. This year House rounded out its fourth season. A season which saw many (too many, as far as I’m concerned) changes and cast shake-ups that would have rattled most shows to the core and left nothing but a hollow, cancelled shell of its former self in its wake. While season 4 wasn’t House’s best, I’m pleased to say that it has survived such a tumultuous year and has set itself up for a pretty fantabulous return in season 5.

I’m not going to lie. I was never that interested or invested in the ducklings. Cameron, Chase, and Foreman served their purpose in the first three seasons (most notably as House’s lackeys, whipping-boys, scapegoats, toys, and, well, butlers), but I’ve never been particularly concerned with them other than how they relate to the big three: House, Cuddy, and Wilson. It speaks volumes about the show that, in this day and age for television, it isn’t the hip, young, twenty-somethings that everyone cares about, it’s the trio of 40ish elder-statesmen of the show that are everyone’s favorites. Anchored by the incomparable Hugh Laurie, and with outstanding support from Lisa Edelstein (I love Cuddy oh-so-much) and Robert Sean Leonard (who’s held a special place in my heart for ages), the show managed to survive a earthquake-level cast shake-up that left Cameron (who isn’t missed at all), Chase (who is kinda missed a bit), and Foreman (who could really use even less screen time) basically seeing as much airtime as “Nurse #2” and “Man in Elevator,” if not less. By and large, that’s fine by me. BUT, and I used all caps for a reason, House’s hunt for three new ducklings ended somewhere I wasn’t thrilled with, but we’ll get back to that…

The hunt for new employees. I really did enjoy the concept, and for the most part, felt that the Survivor-style interview process was quite a lot of fun. HOWEVER, note the unsubtle use of caps again, the wacky antics took a toll on the show overall. So much time had to be devoted to the interview process and the show was trying to keep track of so many characters that the real heart of the show was largely obscured. The show didn’t have time for the quiet moments this season. Character development was slipped in with small doses, but felt kind of crammed in and forced (which the writers’ strike certainly didn’t help…). The most annoying part of this story arc, I would have to say, is that it not only relegated the original ducklings to cameo status, but it also cut down on Cuddy and Wilson screen time, and that’s a much, much graver sin… Anyway, the employee hunt was fine in concept, but sloppy in execution.

**SPOILER ALERT**
(If you haven’t seen season 4 yet (Annie, I’m looking in your direction), you’ll want to shun the following…)

As House’s little game started to wind down, potential ducklings that I actually quite enjoyed were sent home and ducklings in whom I wasn’t particularly invested remained. I have nothing against Taub, Cutner, and 13 (Hadley), per se, but I don’t find them all that engaging. No where near as engaging and interesting as Cutthroat Bitch, who was the last to be dismissed.

Ahhh, Cutthroat Bitch. Now, while the season was progressing, she was by no means my favorite character on the show, and I did find myself annoyed with her character at times and even hating her character at others. BUT, the mere fact that I cared about her character in any regard puts her in a higher class than Taub, Cutner, and 13 (Hadley), whom I couldn’t care less about. I don’t even know why that’s the case! I don’t care about 13 (even with the Huntington’s disease—which, can I just say, could have been a really interesting story arc, and I’m hopeful it will be in the future, but so far, has been completely underwhelming). I don’t care about Taub or Cutner either. It may just be the curse of the ducklings, but, as with the previous trio, I just don’t really care about them. I care about the new ducklings even less than the previous ones, and I wasn’t broken up about it at all when they all quit in the season 3 finale. It was with vague curiosity that I checked on their contracts to see whether or not they’d be back…

Anyway, point being, the new ducklings don’t exactly keep me glued to my seat. Neither did the previous ducklings. Soooo, I guess this might mean that next season will return to the former glory of seasons 1-3? Here’s hoping. I can definitely see where the shake-up was necessary, but I think it could have been done more successfully and could have ended up with much, much better ducklings.

Which brings me back to Cutthroat Bitch, aka Amber. The good ol’ writers of the show realized (a bit too late) that Amber actually was the most interesting of the candidates and brilliantly, ingeniously, brought her back in the most completely awesome, season-redeeming way ever. The Wilson/Amber relationship (that was surprising, funny, and basically perfect), which I affectionately call(ed) Wilber (hey, Charlotte’s Web was a big part of my childhood, okay?), really brought the show back and made the last several episodes of this season pretty outstanding (with the two-part season finale blowing everyone’s socks off). Amber and House made for finely matched opponents, each vying for Wilison’s love and attention. Awesome.

But, back to the season finale. **MAJOR SPOILER ALERT** (Annie…) Brilliantly conceived and executed, start to finish. The two-part season finale offered the kind of gut-wrenching tension, excitement, character elucidation, and narrative that makes House the classic that it is. It’s been weeks and I still can’t believe they killed off Amber. It was exhilarating and heart-breaking to watch and I still have mixed emotions about the whole affair. Although this turn of events made for some pretty spectacular television, I liked the dynamic among House, Wilson, and Amber and I’m sad to see that go. I do, however, think this will make for some fascinating House/Wilson interaction in season 5, but it’s still hard to swallow. I think the most devastating moment was watching Wilson discover the note Amber had left for him under the pillow. That it was written on an envelope was truly perfect. It seemed such a minor, trifling note to leave that she scribbled it down on a used envelope, as everyone has done a million times before. But in this case, it would be the most important and disastrous message she would ever write. Watching Wilson clutching the scrap of paper was horrible and I think it spoke volumes to just how much he cared about her and just how much her loss will affect his relationships in the next season, particularly with House.

Final quandary: Is House to blame? It’s a tough call. That he called Wilson’s apartment looking for a ride home after a long night of House being House isn’t a crime. That Amber decided to go and get him rather than bothering Wilson is a completely logical approach to the situation. That she happened to take medication that would ultimately kill her (only after her kidneys had been destroyed by an unforeseen bus accident) was a crazy fluke at most. And, that House did actually manage to diagnose the problem in the end was yet another medical miracle (even if there was nothing they could do to save her).

But unfortunately, when all added up, it’s hard not to blame House, even if isn’t a completely logical stance. If House hadn’t called, she wouldn’t have come. If House hadn’t brazenly gotten on the bus, neither would she. If House could have just spent that one single episode not being House, Amber would be fine. It’s a leap of logic to conclude that this is all his fault, but it’s an emotional oversight to not assign him any blame at all. It’ll be pretty interesting, and completely devastating I imagine, to see how things play out in season 5, to say the very least.

Overall Season 4 Grade: B
Season Finale Grade: A+