FOX FALL 2012: Schedule and New Pilot Trailers

Lord help me, I'm going to try to include embedded videos for the new show trailers. Given that Blogger has decided to plumb the depths of craptacularity just in time for Upfront season, I'm not holding my breath here. Come onnnn, HTML editor! You can do it!

Again, not a lot of surprises this year in terms of pick-ups and cancellations. The only shows there were even kind of up in the air were Alcatraz (which I thought might get a Friday night reprieve, paired with Fringe) and The Finder, whose ratings were bad, but whose association with Bones might have given it an edge. At the end of the day, I figured both would be cancelled, and I was right. I thought Touch would get the axe as well, truth be told, but it's been pushed to Friday, so it's only a matter of time. 

Here's the schedule for fall:

MONDAY

8/7c Bones

9 pm THE MOB DOCTOR

TUESDAY

8 pm Raising Hope

8:30 pm BEN AND KATE

9 pm New Girl

9:30 pm THE MINDY PROJECT

WEDNESDAY

8 The X Factor

THURSDAY

8 pm The X Factor (Results Show)

9 pm Glee

FRIDAY

8 pm Touch

9 pm Fringe

SUNDAY

8 pm The Simpsons

8:30 pm Bob’s Burgers

9 pm Family Guy

9:30 pm American Dad

NOT RETURNING NEXT SEASON: Alcatraz, Allen Gregory, Breaking In, The Finder, I Hate My Teenage Daughter, Napoleon Dynamite and Terra Nova.

Scheduling notes: Glee has moved to Thursday, as a result of its ever-decreasing ratings, methinks. Tuesday night is now all comedy (hoping to replicate their success on Sundays, no doubt), with the new shows peppered in between consistent performers. Say what you will about Fox, their scheduling strategies make a lot more sense than most networks. That said, I think Touch is going to die on Fridays right along Fringe's final season.

Here are the new pilots for next season (fingers crossed that this actually works) and a corresponding Potential-O-Meter score regarding how excited I am about it, how well I think it will do, how much longevity I think it has, etc.  (0 being that cross-dressing CBS comedy from last season, 10 being Justified or The Good Wife):

THE MOB DOCTOR

My Take:  You know, at first blush (i.e. the first 20 seconds of the trailer), I was ready to write this off as your typical “I’m a doctor with a bizarre/special/unique/quirky attribute who can save people better than anyone else” kinda show, but as the trailer went on, I actually became somewhat intrigued.  I assumed it would be your standard medical procedural (yawn), but it actually looks to be far more serialized than that and with much higher stakes.  To boot, said stakes are pretty unconventional.  Mobsters in general aren’t my cup of tea (which I literally just wrote “cup o tea” and almost left it that way), but the show seems to have integrated them in a more creative way than usual.  I can’t say I’m over the moon for this one or that I think it has much chance of longevity, but serials get my full attention and are granted the most leeway.  I like Jordana Spiro well enough and think she could anchor the show adequately.  I loathe Michael Rappaport, however, so hopefully he’s a more minor player.  At the very least, he doesn’t appear to be a potential love interest for Spiro, so that wins the show about a million points.  Were they to head in that direction, I’d be heading in the opposite direction.

Potential-O-Meter:  5.5 


BEN & KATE

My Take:  Aside from the innate prejudice I have about couples named Ben and Kate (there are a truly disturbing number out there, it seems), this show looks pleasant.  Not uproariously funny or anything, but pleasant enough.  In terms of comedies out there, it does err on the side of “train wreck guy, high strung girl”, but it seems to have more heart about it.  I can’t say I see where a long term storyline could develop here, but the show seems charming enough that I’m willing to see what they can do.  There’s something appealing about a brother and sister banding together for the greater good and forming an unconventional family for that little girl.  In a world with a hell of a lot of deadbeat dads, I find this angle pretty damn charming, even if I’ll need to see more before judging longevity potential.  So long as the show doesn’t bank on “he’s an idiot” too much, they could really make this work.  From the trailer alone, it looks like they’ll definitely need to flesh out the supporting cast though.  A little girl and an eccentric friend just aren’t going to do it.

Potential-O-Meter:  6 


THE MINDY PROJECT

My Take:  I like Mindy Kaling quite a lot, but I’m not sure I can handle yet another “she’s a disaster looking for love in all the wrong places” comedy.  To be fair, I think Mindy can pull off such a show better than most, but the conceit wore thin about 800 iterations ago.  I’m really torn.  The cast looks great, the writing team can’t be beat, but seriously, the concept is a total turn off.  If her love woes weren’t cliché enough, she’s also a doctor.  I did not see that coming.  My mind is blown.  Ugh.  The trailer had some funny moments, but it had just as many eye-rollingly hackneyed moments as well.  I’ll certainly give it a shot, but I’m definitely on the fence with this one.  I would really have loved to have seen Mindy at the helm of something really fresh and original, but instead, she’s pretty much just playing herself playing every girl I’ve seen in every irritating romantic comedy for the past 20 years.  Not exactly in my wheelhouse…  That said, it’s being paired with New Girl and has enough of an Office pedigree that I think it will do really well.

Potential-O-Meter:  5 


THE FOLLOWING (midseason)

My Take:  Maybe I’ve seen too much TV, maybe I’ve seen too many episodes of Criminal Minds, or maybe I’ve just grown weary of crime shows in general, but in spite of some interesting ideas, a great cast, and the fact that it’s not a story-of-the-week procedural, I just can’t seem to get excited about this one.  It all just seems too familiar to really grab me.  Seriously, this is like every third episode of Criminal Minds plus a healthy dollop of cinematic psychological thriller.  Objectively, it actually looks really good.  Not the most original show I’ve ever seen, but it certainly raises the bar well above its genre competitors.  Kevin Bacon seems well suited to the role and James Purefoy is always great.  I’m not sure I can handle yet another show where all I can think is, “Oh, for hell’s sakes, Winona,” but I’ll certainly try.  The dynamic between Bacon and Winona (aka Natalie Zea) could be interesting… or totally ridiculous… but it’s enough to have me intrigued.  Odds are this won’t bring a whole lot of new facets to an old routine, but in general, I enjoy the old routine well enough to give this one a shot.  Again, it’s a serial (no pun intended), so even if it’s less than unique, I’ll give it some slack.

Potential-O-Meter:  6 


THE GOODWIN GAMES  (midseason)

My Take:  Well, I’ll be damned, I’m intrigued.  Even in spite of the Becky Newton of it all.  Seriously, had I not recently grown to dislike her immensely and shake my head disapprovingly at her acting ability, I think I’d be even more interested in the show than I already am.  Having watched as much TV as I have, I’m a total sucker for a unique concept, and this one comes pretty damn close.  Sure it borrows themes and elements of other shows, but all together, it looks like a charming take on the “kids coming back together as adults” motif (although to be honest, it’s a motif I always really enjoy, so even if it were half as promising, I’d still be interested).  It might just be my love of that episode of Friends where they play Ross’ trivia game about each other in order to win the apartment, but hey, I’ll take it.  It also kind of has a Royal Tennenbaums-y feel to it that I totally dig.  I can see where this could make a series and not just a great pilot, which is always a plus.  All in all, aside from Becky Newton, I’m actually quite looking forward to this one.  Which, of course, automatically means it’s being held till midseason.  Boo.

Potential-O-Meter:  7

Well, there you have it, folks.  Nothing totally disastrous, but nothing I'm salivating over either.  Fox is playing is pretty safe this season.  I hate safe. 

And good lord, Blogger.  This job should not be this hard!  I really hope all that worked above, but I seriously doubt it...  UGH!!!

Fox Pilots 2011: Volume 2 (comedies)

I have to give Fox a little credit for continuing to try for new live action comedies, but let's face it. They haven't had a hit in ages. Raising Hope is a fun little show and it does well enough, but it didn't exactly reinvigorate the genre for the network. They have had a lot of success with animation, however, so at least they've got that. Indeed, as part of their new line-up, they have some new animated programming, so expect their Sunday nights to be even more jam-packed than they already are. I don't generally focus on animation in this blog, but if you're interested, their new animated comedies are Allen Gregory and Napoleon Dynamite. There's not a whole lot out there on them at the moment, but I did see trailers. Meh.

Here are the new Fox comedies premiering this fall:

THE NEW GIRL

Description: Zooey Deschanel (500 Days of Summer) fronts a cast that includes Damon Wayans Jr. (well, not anymore--Happy Endings got picked up, so this role will have to be recast), Max Greenfield (Veronica Mars), and others.



First Impressions: Sigh. I should probably start by pointing out that I generally can't stand Zooey Deschanel. She's pretty much the blandest actress on the planet. You know, when she's not being completely annoying. I know more than a few guys that just adore her and I don't get it. Same goes for Scarlett Johanssen. Pretty girls, terrible actresses. That said, it's really hard to approach this pilot with anything more than a groan. In terms of concept, it's far from the worst I've seen, but the thought of watching Zooey unconvincingly sob and go into stereotypical "girls are just so emotional!" hysterics doesn't appeal to me at all. My only hope would be that the unstable sad sack shown in the trailer would get her effing act together sooner than later. She's just trying so hard all the time. When you're desperate to be quirky, it doesn't make you interesting or unique, it makes you a dork. And in this instance, it makes her a dork who sings all the time. And dances. I appreciate a good goofball and I love a quirky energy, but with Zooey? It's just annoying. Which, to be fair, seems to be the intent. That's where I'm a little hopeful for this one. If their intention was for her to be an annoying mess at first, but who becomes someone you'd actually want to watch week-to-week, I could get behind that. Sure, I'd want this progression to happen way faster than it probably will, but I'm trying to be optimistic here. When you can't get behind the anchor to the show, it's nearly impossible to care about the show as a whole. If Zooey proves to be way more interesting and considerably funnier than she appeared to be in the trailer, this show could work. Given that all the Damon Wayans Jr. scenes will have to be reshot, the end result will likely be a bit different anyway. With this show, it pretty much boils down to whether you like Zooey or not, because she seems to be the whole show. I'm... not a fan. But, most people seem to think she's just adorkable, so odds are this will be a hit. I'll give it a shot and hope for the best.


I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER

Description: Stars Jaime Pressly (My Name Is Earl), Katie Finneran (Wonderfalls), Chad Coleman (The Wire), and Kevin Rahm (Desperate Housewives).



First Impressions: Well... Zooey's looking better and better? Wow. Um... aside from noting the Glee soundtrack, I hardly know what to say. This looks like a tragic case of a good cast in a bad show. I actually like the actors involved quite a lot, but this looks pretty painful to watch. The base concept doesn't grab me at all. I think there are way too many shows out there teaching girls how to be bitches, thanks, and feeding the perception that young girls are nothing but brain-dead, slutty mean girls who are the bane of everyone's existence always grates on me. I just can't really relate to it at all and find it hard to believe that any parent could be so horrendously that they'd allow their daughters to turn out like this. I realize they're exaggerating for comic effect here, but that doesn't make it seem any more charming. That said, comedies are far and away the most difficult to size up from just a trailer. As ever, I'll give it a shot, but not only do I think it will be pretty unfunny, but I'm pretty sure it won't exactly start a fire in the ratings department. Honestly, if they simply got rid of the daughters, I think the show would look a lot more promising. With any luck, the daughters are simply a device and aren't central to the story at all. Given the number of lines they were granted in the trailer, this could very well be the case. Hopefully that isn't the only comedic device they'll be using though, because that will get real old real fast. Like, by the end of the trailer fast. I'm not sure I even cracked a smile during the trailer, so I'm not holding out a lot of hope for this one. If you're in to stereotypes, however, hop on board!

Fox Pilots 2011: Volume 1 (dramas)

After slogging through the entirely new network that NBC will be, I'm switching gears to Fox, which only has enough real estate for two volumes. Truth be told, NBC actually has some midseason comedies in store, but none of them was promising enough or horrific enough for mention. On the off-chance that they actually make it to air, I'll be sure to mention them.

Anyway, on to Fox. I'm still bitter about The Chicago Code getting the axe, especially in light of aging shows like House and Bones jumping one shark after another and relative newbie Glee sucking it up in its second season. From a financial standpoint, I guess I get it, but House is hemorrhaging viewers and actors (Lisa Edelstein jumped ship and I can't says I blame her). Odds are this coming season will mercifully be its last. I broke up with it after the first episode of this season, so it only really matters to me in terms of other shows getting canceled. Code ended its run in fine fashion, and, while not a perfect show, had a lot of room to grow and seemingly infinite storylines to explore. House, Bones, and even Glee? They're pretty tapped out. Caterwauling aside, Fox has a pretty interesting slate of new shows for the coming year, so if nothing else, at least they have some potential winners to throw into the mix of aging dinosaurs. Actually, they have some dinosaurs to throw in as well... Along with the potential winners, of course, we have even more animation and a competition show of some sort that I already don't care about. Even worse, the most promising new show of all is being held till midseason, you know, because all the cool networks are doing that for some reason... Boo.

Here's how the schedule is stacking up for the coming year (new shows are in caps and the times are Eastern Time):

***FALL SCHEDULE***

MONDAY
8/7c TERRA NOVA
9 pm House

TUESDAY
8 pm Glee
9 pm NEW GIRL
9:30 pm Raising Hope

WEDNESDAY
8-9:30 pm THE X FACTOR
9:30 pm I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER

THURSDAY
8 pm THE X FACTOR (Results Show)
9 pm Bones

FRIDAY
8 pm Kitchen Nightmares
9 pm Fringe

SUNDAY
7:30 pm The Cleveland Show
8 pm The Simpsons
8:30 pm ALLEN GREGORY
9 pm Family Guy
9:30 pm American Dad

***MIDSEASON SCHEDULE***

MONDAY
8/7c House
9 pm ALCATRAZ

TUESDAY
8 pm Glee
9 pm NEW GIRL
9:30 pm Raising Hope

WEDNESDAY
8-9:30 pm American Idol
9:30 pm I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER

THURSDAY
8 pm American Idol (Results Show)
9 pm FINDER/Bones (Returning in Spring)

FRIDAY
8 pm Kitchen Nightmares
9 pm Fringe

SUNDAY
7:30 pm The Cleveland Show
8 pm The Simpsons
8:30 pm NAPOLEON DYNAMITE
9 pm Family Guy
9:30 pm Bob’s Burgers

So yeah, Fox's schedule is always kind of a chore to read because it's so chopped up, but in theory, that's what it'll look like at some point in time.

Here are the new dramas:

ALCATRAZ

Description: Stars Jorge Garcia (Lost), Parminder Nagra (ER), Robert Forster (Heroes), Sam Neill (Jurassic Park) and Sarah Jones (Sons of Anarchy). JJ Abrams will produce.



First Impressions: Color me intrigued, but cautious. In spite of the craptacularity of JJ Abrams' last project (Undercovers, the show so boring even NBC wouldn't keep it), it's impossible not to be excited for a project of his. With Lost, Alias, and Fringe under his belt, he's allowed a misstep or two. This show looks like it has a hell of a lot of potential, depending on what direction they take things... If this is a complex supernatural, psychological, historical mystery, I'm so in. If this turns into a old-prisoner-of-the-week cop procedural? I'm considerably less in. Based on what I've seen and heard so far, I'm hopeful that this show will spend more time exploring the mystery of how these men disappeared, where they've been, and why they're back rather than a caper of the week. JJ generally avoids such CBS-style trappings, so it should be good. The concept is intriguing no matter what direction they take. This is truly a story I've never really seen before, and for someone who watches as much TV as I do, that's a very welcomed change. In terms of cast... Hurley! I love him, and as much as I'd love to see Jorge Garcia play the exact same character again, I'm hopeful they give him something different to explore with this show. From the trailer alone, it's looking very Hurley-ish, but even if that ends up being the case, I'll take it. Beyond him, I'm less thrilled. I hadn't made the connection to her previous work at the time, so it was just kind of a knee-jerk reaction, but Sarah Jones, the blonde, is instantly off-putting. Seriously, the second she showed up on the screen, I groaned. How much of that has to do with the fact that she appears to be playing your stereotypical female lead for a "cop show" and how much of it is leftover from her detestable role in Sons of Anarchy is up for grabs, but whatever the motivation, I'm predisposed to hate her. Hopefully she'll grow on once I see the full pilot/series, but off the bat, she is far from the actress I'd want anchoring my show. Beyond her, we have Sam Neill, who's pleasant enough, even if he didn't knock my socks off in the trailer, and Parminder Nagra, who I try to love, but often fail. She always just seems a bit wooden to me. Or, when she's trying not to be wooden, she's whiny, which is even worse. All that said, high-concept shows generally suffer the most from being whittled down to trailer length (there's only so much character depth that can be imparted in 3 minutes), so I'm going to force myself to have an open mind and casually forget everyone's previous roles. Won't be easy with an all-star cast, but I'm certainly going to try. All in all, I'm very excited, in spite of my reservations about some of the casting choices. My only other concern is that JJ has a tendency to make kick-ass pilots, then hang on for a few episodes, then abandon a project. I don't know who the permanent showrunners are, so that's a definite factor if JJ takes a backseat along the way. This is one of the most intriguing trailers of the new pilot season, so naturally, the show is being held till the dead of winter. I don't know why all the nets are doing this, but it's already frustrating me and it's only June. Sigh.


TERRA NOVA

Description: Stars Jason O'Mara (Life On Mars), Stephen Lang (Avatar), Mido Hamada (24) and Christine Adams (The Whole Truth). Steven Spielberg (Jurassic Park), Jon Cassar (24) and Brannon Braga (Star Trek: Enterprise) are among the executive producers.



First (or Third) Impressions: That's right, folks. The pilot we in the industry (heh) have been hearing about for the past, oh, 85 million years or so, is finally going to air. After having been bumped back several times, I was starting to wonder it if would ever see the light of day. It's easily the most ambitious series premiering in the fall, and that's not just because all the good stuff is being held till midseason. This is clearly an expensive show to produce and I'm a little worried that with a week-to-week budget rather than a pilot budget, the special effects and overall look may suffer. Even its regular budget must be huge, however, so for this show to stay on the air, its ratings need to be pretty damn high and then need to stay there. I'm intrigued by the show, but after hearing things like, "It'll appeal to everyone. From age 9 to 90, there's something for everybody," I'm considerably less enthused. Shows that appeal to everybody ultimately appeal to nobody, particularly me. That said, from the trailer, I'm hopeful that the Fox exec who said that (I can't remember who and I'm too lazy to look it up) is painting with a broader brush than is actually warranted. It does look like the writers sat down and made a list of all the things a show could possibly have ("Action! Adventure! Mystery! Family drama! A love story! A war story! A survival story!") and then tried to include as many of them as possible in the show, but given the scope of the concept, I can see where it could all work. I have a feeling that the show will be casting too broad a net in terms of viewers, but on rare occasion, mass appeal can equal quality. The cast and production team are solid and the concept really opens the door for them to do just about anything they want in terms of story, so if they play their cards right, even the family-friendly dinosaur adventure that this appears to be could be a winner. This is the kind of show that just about everyone will be tuning into at some point to see what all the fuss is about, a la Lost, so if you don't want to be out of the loop, it's certainly worth looking into even if the concept leaves you uninspired. I'm intrigued and hopeful, but reserved. If they can find a true voice and focused direction for the series, it could be absolutely amazing. Fingers crossed.


FINDER

Description: Ugh. Does that count as a description? No? Okay, this one stars Geoff Stults (October Road) and Michael Clarke Duncan (The Green Mile). Hart Hanson (Bones) will executive-produce.



First Impressions: Yeah, so this is one of the few shows that I am totally fine with it being held till midseason. In fact, how about it never airs at all? Man alive, Hart Hanson is a hack. Bones has only ever been mid-level, even at its best, so how about we pick up a new show, that's eerily like the old show, and hope no one notices! On top of that, let's cancel The Chicago Code so that drivel like this can see the light of day. Deal? No deal, Fox Network execs. Having already seen the "backdoor pilot" that aired as a Bones episode last season, I'm not impressed. Procedurals in general aren't exactly my bread and butter and this one looks lamer than most. He... finds(?) things? That's it? He's the world's foremost authority on finding things... Am I supposed to be enthralled by that? Maybe I'm just too jaded and have seen too many procedurals, but I just don't think I can bring myself to watch him track crap down week-to-week. Perhaps if the lead actor were more appealing or the concept were more unique, but as is, no thanks. Michael Clarke Duncan is always a treat, and Saffron Burrows has left the show, so that's all good, I suppose, but at the end of the day, I just don't care. The main character appeals to me in no way whatsoever, and I don't mean strictly physically. As I recall from the backdoor pilot, he's a former soldier or something and an insufferable no-it-all with his uncanny "finding" abilities. He has neither the depth nor the panache to engage me and the thought of him anchoring a show is fairly laughable. Bones lost what little luster it once had several years ago and Hart Hanson's attempt at reinvigorating his career appears to have fallen flat. If I had only seen the trailer, I'd be more on the fence, but I've seen the pilot and deduced that this show, in its current incarnation, is not worth my time. I'll probably check out the first episode of the fall to see what kind of creative changes have been made, but I can think of few ways to salvage this concept. Midseason can have you, Finder. I don't mind.

Fox Upfronts: The Good Die Young

NOTE: I'm sorry this is so late in coming. Blogger has been struggling hardcore for several days now. Yeah, just when finale season and Upfront season intersect, Blogger decides to have some sort of coronary problem. Anyway, I was poised and ready to discuss the finales of The Vampire Diaries (Vicki and Anna! Ahhh!), Nikita, and just about everything else, but couldn't. And now it just feels like it's kind of too late... Anyway, moving on with the Upfronts!

As any Whedonverse devotee will attest, you can't get too attached to programs on the Fox network because, well, no one likes heartbreak. Citing precedent, it really shouldn't come as much of a surprise that the only show on the network whose fate I actually cared about is one of the first to get the axe. The Chicago Code was a surprisingly smart and engaging show for network TV, which I guess means it was doomed. And another one bites the dust. The list of network shows that I watch has been in precipitous decline for the past few years now, and it's gotten to the point were I can count them on one hand. The Chicago Code is a pretty painful loss. It wasn't a perfect show (the writers didn't seem to know what to do with Vonda and Isaac most of the time), but compared to the other network schlock it was up against, it was head and shoulders above most other shows. Shawn Ryan deserves better. He's a fine showrunner who always producing quality programming. So let's face it. He didn't stand a chance.

Fox is a tough nut to crack for a number of reasons and it has some network idiosyncrasies that make it more prone to slaughter than others. First and foremost, it doesn't have a third hour of primetime like the other big networks, so it immediately has 5 fewer hours per week to fill. On top of that, it has like, 17 hours of American Idol each week, which decreases the room for scripted programming even more. At the end of the day, they simply don't have the space to keep anything that isn't performing incredibly well. There have been some notable exceptions, of course, but by and large, they don't hang on to shows that are under-performing. Fringe got a notable pick-up this year in spite of poor performance, but that's because it airs on Friday, a night that Fox gave up on long ago. Plus, I think they're still a little gun-shy about pissing off the science fiction community.

Here's the full list of CASUALTIES:

• The Chicago Code
  Again, this is the one that really hurts. I hear showrunner Shawn Ryan already has his sights set on a new project though, and from the brief concept idea that I ran across, it sounds like it's going to be excellent. Here's hoping it finds a network that will keep it going.
  
  
• Lie to Me
  This was a third tier show at best, but it made for a nice space filler on an empty viewing day. I kept up with this one well enough, but it was far too procedural to really keep me invested. I need more over-arching story to really care about a show and Lie to Me never really delivered.
  
  
• Human Target
  Won't be missed. I made it through a couple of episodes and that was plenty.
  
  
• Traffic Light
  I never even screened this sucker. It looked awful and I knew it didn't stand a chance anyway. Tootles!
  
  
• Braking In
  See above comments, copy and paste. Oh, Christian Slater. It's cute that you think you still have a career. [This just in, this show might just get a last minute stay of execution. Word is, Fox is considering bringing it back after all. I think it depends on whether or not they have a half-hour companion show on the docket or not... I never even screened the pilot, so I'm not invested one way or the other.]
  
  
• The Good Guys
  This one has been dead in the water for ages now. In case you're one of the two people who watch, it ain't comin' back.
  
  
• Running Wilde
  This one got pulled ages ago as well, in case you hadn't heard. But, showkiller Will Arnett has teamed up with showkiller Christina Applegate for a new comedy (to air on ABC, I think), so if you fear not, if you loved Running Wilde, you'll get another chance basically
  

Here are the shows that will be RETURNING next season:

• House
  Against all reason, yes, House will be back again this fall for an EIGHTH and hopefully final season. Please just let it die already. It kills me that Fox would rather keep an aging, increasingly pitiful show around than give The Chicago Code a relaunch for fall. Oy. In related news, I hear that Lisa Edelstein has officially jumped ship and will not be reprising her role as Cuddy next year. Godspeed, my friend. Never look back.
  
  
• Glee
  I loved season 1, I could barely even finish season 2. If every episode were a Brad Falchuk episode, I think I would still love the show, but his episodes are too few and too long in between to sustain me. I still haven't decided if I'll be giving this one a chance in the fall. It depends on how my schedule looks. Want to see something truly shocking? Go back and watch the Glee pilot on Netflix Instant Play. Holy hell, you'll hardly even recognize the show. Wow. Did you know that it used to have a plot? And characters? And wasn't
  
  
• Bones
  Ugh. As though this show weren't mediocre enough, and as though it hasn't been around for about 3 seasons too long, now Bones is pregnant. Well, Emily Deschanel is pregnant, but that's just as bad. I don't even really watch this show anymore (unless there's absolutely nothing else on), but knowing that it's coming back and The Chicago Code isn't makes me bitter(erer). Geez, Fox, so far you're looking like a real winner come fall...
  
  
• Fringe
  I've been meaning to catch up on this one, so I'm pleased to see that it'll be back. Quite frankly, any vote of confidence for Sci Fi as a genre gets a thumbs-up from me. It always makes me smile that they put this kind of show on Fridays, you know, because it's not like geeks have dates to go on or anything. I sure don't.
  
  
• Fox Animation Block: The Cleveland Show, Family Guy, American Dad, The Simpsons
  
  
• Raising Hope
  It isn't appointment TV for me or anything, but it's a fun little show starring the incomparable Martha Plimpton, so I'm quite pleased to see it picked up for next season. Although, if it ever gets canceled, I suppose that frees Martha up for more time on The Good Wife, so I guess I'd be okay either way.

I was going to include a preview of fall shows in this post, but I think that's best left for another entry (it's gonna be on the long side). There are some definite contenders coming up in a few months, but mostly, it's just a bunch of crap. You know, like last year.

Fox Pilots: Volume 2

Yeah, so this second volume of Fox's new pilots is going to be a little sketchy... Just thought I'd put that out there before you started suspecting I was smoking crack. In actuality, that would be the Fox network...

Case in point, Terra Nova, one of the most highly anticipated new shows in production for the network seems to be floating in some sort of irksome miasma. Which, on the plus side, allows me to use the word "miasma," which doesn't happen all that often. On the negative side, however, means that there's no trailer for the show and the projected premiere date keeps changing (for the worse, i.e. later and later). As such, I'll report what I can, but I haven't the foggiest idea of when any of that information might be relevant.

TERRA NOVA

Description: From Steven Speilberg, this new "epic family adventure" also has Peter Chernin, Brannon Braga, and Buffy and Lost alum David Fury on the creative team. Life on Mars alum Jason O'Mara stars in the lead role.Word is, Terra Nova will show a dystopian world that has been brought to its knees by overpopulation, industry, pollution, etc. In a last-ditch effort to save the planet, scientists find a way to restore a prehistoric environment. As such, be prepared for dinosaurs and dinosaur-related mayhem.

My Take: Well, at this point, there's really not much to take... But, on paper, this certainly sounds like it could have some potential. The creative team is solid and from what I'm hearing and seeing (and knowing Speilberg), the production values are sky high, so at the very least, it should be an impressive, slick production. Hearing it called an "epic family adventure" doesn't exactly have me chomping at the bit, but I'll look past that till I actually get to see some footage. Nothing was shown at the upfronts (or anywhere else that I could find), so either they don't have anything yet to show, or they're hoping to build the hype. It's probably a little of both. I hear it will be filmed in Australia, so the visuals should be pretty stunning. In general, dinosaurs and family-friendly adventures aren't at the top of my list, but I'd be remiss to count this one out. My only real concern with this one is the cost. Unless this show knocks it out of the park in the ratings department, I don't see how Fox could possibly keep it for long. But, as with just about everything from the 90's lately, it might be time for a reboot. I'll keep you posted, but seriously, I believe this one was initially slated for fall, then for midseason, and now it's looking more and more like fall 2011...


RIDE-ALONG

Description: Slated for midseason, will likely air on Mondays, and might take over for Lone Star if it gets canceled. From Shawn Ryan (The Sheild, Lie to Me), stars Jason Clarke (Brotherhood), Jennifer Beals (she's a maniac), and Delroy Lindo.



My Take: First off, take everything I've ever said about cop shows, lather, rinse, and repeat. I only ever saw an errant episode of The Shield, but by all accounts, it was a cop show tour de force, so in terms of genre, it seems few are better suited to it than Shawn Ryan. He managed to make Lie to Me a watchable second-tier show, so it seems he might have actual magical powers. So, at the very least, the creative team is strong, even if the genre itself has been done and done and done. This show seems to be attempting to take a different bent on your standard drama with the Jennifer Beals angle, and Jason Clarke is excellent (even if his accent decidedly isn't), so this show really does have the makings of something special. Seriously though, is his character supposed to be Australian? I doubt it, but honestly, his accent was all over the place and I really had to try to decide if he's supposed to even be an American, let alone a Chicago native. It was kind of hard hearing him talk about his town and what Chicago means with every other word sounding abundantly Aussie... That melted away some of my suspension of disbelief, I must admit. Even if he simply had a solid American accent, that would be fine, but his is far from American and a world away from Chicago. On The Glades, our leading man Matt Passmore is also an Aussie, and while he doesn't have a Chicago accent, his American accent is pretty good and gets better episode-to-episode. Here's hoping Clarke follows the same trajectory. Anyway, aside from that the trailer doesn't exactly have me salivating, but it did manage to pique my interest. Once again, I'm always a little concerned about gritty crime dramas finding their ways onto network TV, but Fox tends to take more chances than your NBCs or ABCs, so hopefully they can translate the mean streets of Chicago into something that bears a resemblance onscreen. With a woman as the head of all police, the inherent sexual politics could very well form one of the foundations of the show. While that's an issue that's a genuine concern, it's generally one that annoys rather than captivates in my book. The boys' club that is law enforcement has always been a turn off and with this set up, I don't know that there's any way it can be avoided. My hope is that Beals' character really is the best of the best and everyone already knows that. Doubtful, but here's hoping. Long story short, this show certainly has potential, but it'll take a hell of a lot to get me invested in yet another cop drama.


MIXED SIGNALS

Description: This is a new relationship comedy created by Bob Fisher (“Wedding Crashers”). Stars Nelson Franklin (“I Love You, Man”), David Denman (“The Office”), Kris Marshall ("Human Target"), Liza Lapira (“Dexter”) and Alexandra Breckenridge ("Family Guy").



My Take: This actually has a similar framework to the horrendously horrendous Better Together (title has changed to Better With You, but I'm still much better without, thanks), but doesn't look quite as disastrous. More than anything, this just doesn't look like my kind of show. I wasn't all that impressed by Wedding Crashers and don't generally subscribe to this kind of humor, but the trailer for this one looked decent enough. The would-be hilarious perils of coupledom (especially with the "women are ridiculous and men have to put up with them" bent) don't often appeal to me, but I'm willing to give it a shot. I doubt this will make it onto my regular rotation, but there were certain moments of the trailer that point to a certain potential. This appears to be yet another case of "schlubby guy/hot girl" times three, however, and I've never really been a fan of that phenomenon. It's another reason why No Ordinary Family is slightly off-putting. If you ever, ever, ever saw the reverse, it wouldn't be so irksome, but I can't think of a time when there was a "dumpy woman/hot guy" couple (unless specifically played for laughs at the woman's expense). Sigh. Anyway, if this show can find a balance between frat house pot shots at women and actual comedy, it could work, but based on the trailer, I'm not holding my breath. I'm on the fence with this one and hope the actual pilot holds a lot more laughs than the preview did.

Fox Pilots: Volume 1

After slogging through the mostly dismal slate of shows that ABC had to offer, I was ready and willing to move onto another network, although if precedent serves, Fox won't fare much better than anyone else.

The best part about Fox is that they don't have a third hour of primetime, so they have considerably less room for new shows. That makes for a lot less work for me. :)

Below is how their schedule is looking for fall (which, holy hell, is in like three and half weeks). Bear in mind, with Fox, they have about 17 premiere periods during the year, so there are several new shows that aren't listed in the schedule, but which may very well show up at some point. Midseason is the obvious timeframe, but Fox has a tendency to axe shows more readily and quickly than other nets, so there's always room for a shake-up.

MONDAY
7 pm House
8 pm Lonestar (new)

TUESDAY
7 pm Glee
8 pm Raising Hope (new)
8: 30 pm Running Wilde (new)

WEDNESDAY
7 pm Lie to Me
8 pm Hell’s Kitchen

THURSDAY
7 pm Bones
8 pm Fringe

FRIDAY
7 pm Human Target
8 pm The Good Guys

SUNDAY
7 pm The Simpsons
7:30 pm The Cleveland Show
8 pm Family Guy
8:30 pm American Dad

Barring any better organizational schema, I'll start off with the shows that are actually slated to begin in September. I'll hold off till Volume 2 for the shows that are just kind of floating in space at this point... Oh, Fox. Precious.

On with the shows...

LONESTAR

Description: Formerly called Midland. From Chris Keyser and Amy Lippman (“Party of Five”), writer Kyle Killen and directed by Marc Webb (“(500) Days of Summer”). Stars Jon Voight, James Wolk, and Adrianne Palicki.



My Take: I wasn't all that impressed by (500) Days of Summer, but I'm actually pretty excited for this new pilot. It's a concept that I haven't seen before, so even if it isn't perfect, I'm definitely intrigued. I've been hearing good things about this show on the web and I can see why. The trailer has certainly piqued my interest, and even though it looks like it might be a little soapy, it also looks like it just might suck me right in. My main concern with a concept like this is longevity. I mean, really, how long can they keep a conceit like this going? It's the kind of show that would have to seriously grow and evolve season to season and probably won't look like the same show year to year. From what I hear, the creative team behind it is also a little on the fence about how it's all going to work out, saying that it will either be an incredible success or an incredible failure. I'd have to agree. If they pull this off, it could be a really great show. If not, I think it'll crumble pretty quickly. Ounce for ounce though, I'm excited for this. The cast isn't very well known to me, but from the trailer, they seem solid. I actually rather enjoy unfamiliar faces in shows (it makes it easier to mold characters when I don't have any preconceived notions), so assuming these unknown-to-mes can really act, this one has some serious potential. It might be that I just reviewed the drivel ABC is bringing to the table, but this is one looks kinda sorta really good. I'll be giving it a shot with bells on.


RAISING HOPE

Description: Sitcom from producer Greg Garcia (My Name Is Earl)--in case you couldn't tell. Stars Lucas Neff, Cloris Leachman, the awesomely awesome Martha Plimpton (most recently on The Good Wife), and the usually evil Garrett Dillahunt (Roman on Life, Simon on Burn Notice).



My Take: On paper, this is the kind of concept that would have me rolling my eyes and changing the channel, but no one can pull off white-trash-with-a-heart-of-gold comedy better than Greg Garcia. I was only an occasional watcher of My Name Is Earl, but always enjoyed it. At the very least, the creative team behind Raising Hope is solid, so that bodes well for the series as a whole. It also means that the show will have some heart, but won't be schmaltzy, which is a fine line to walk, but appears totally doable here. As if the creative team weren't enough, you couldn't ask for a better cast. Plimpton is a rockstar and I'm so glad to see her get to show her talents in a specifically comedic role. She cracked me up and stole every scene on The Good Wife and that's a serious drama, so here she should shine even more. It'll be interesting to see Dillahunt in a non-evil capacity, but based on the trailer, he's seems surprisingly adept at comedy. His delivery of the Charles Manson line was hilarious and I'm really excited to see him this capacity. I can't say I'm sold yet, what with an infant being at the center of this concept, but this was far and away one of the best comedy trailers I've seen this year (although I'll admit the bar is pretty low). I don't imagine this will be appointment TV or anything, but as with Garcia's previous work, this strikes me as the kind of show that you don't intentionally schedule, but that you're always pleasantly surprised to see. I'll definitely be giving Raising Hope a chance, and casually hope to hell the baby isn't as annoying as most babies are...


RUNNING WILDE

Description: From Mitch Hurwitz, the creator of Arrested Development, stars Will Arnett and Keri Russell. I'm also hearing that David Cross (Tobias Funke) may have signed on. Hurwitz and Arnett co-wrote the pilot.



My Take: Yeah... Um... How to put this gently...? Okay, here's the deal. That trailer looks pretty bad, right? Well, apparently we aren't the only ones who noticed because I hear the pilot is being completely retooled. I first watched that trailer a few months ago and was rather underwhelmed. I didn't know if I went in expecting too much (knowing that it was from Hurwitz raised the bar pretty damn high), but no, it seems everyone was pretty disappointed with the pilot. From what I heard from critics, the trailer is indicative of the show as a whole. Well, usually, a pilot being rewritten this late in the game would be cause for concern, but with this, it can only mean good things. Unfortunately, this makes it nigh-impossible to know what this show is actually going to look like when it premieres. I'm not even sure the basics will be the same. Which, looking at the basics, it probably a good thing. The trailer had its moments of mild charm, but overall, this concept just seems completely unsustainable and ridiculous even by Fox comedy standards. If anyone can figure out a way to make this work, it's Hurwitz and Arnett, so I'm hopeful the finished product will have me laughing rather than wincing. The trailer had its amusing moments, but overall, I felt a little embarrassed for the actors and writers... Not a good sign. Hearing that David Cross may have signed on (I want to say that's a done deal, but I honestly can't remember) only helps to bolster my confidence. At the very least, its comforting to know that the team behind this show recognizes that it has some serious flaws and that they aren't blissfully oblivious to this fact. I don't know what this is going to be in the end, but, given the people involved, I'll be giving it a shot no matter what it looks like.

FOX Upronts: Saints be praised! LESS IDOL!

I'm going to refrain from pontificating on Fox (and the other nets) the way I did with NBC, because, well, that was a lot of typing and I'm of a rather lazy constitution... Plus, no network has quite as many problems as NBC (well, at least not the same array of problems), so this should be quicker.

Fox has never had a third hour of primetime and they have a considerable amount of reality programming, so there really aren't a whole lot of shows to be fated... or whatever (that would be my English degree hard at work: I makes up words and I likes it). The midseason schedule is what really bulks up the slate. Anyway, as with the other network's, there's a would-be cagematch afoot: Lie to Me vs. Human Target. The prevailing notion was that it would likely be one or the other. See below for the exciting results! (Like how I try to make this seem like it's even moderately interesting? That English degree of mine is working overtime now! Finally, it's earning me all the wonderful things I... never ever thought it would...)

Aside from a handful of interesting pick-ups and drops (okay, not really), the biggest and BEST news to come out of the Fox Upfront? Less Idol. That's right, you heard me. Per my sources on the web, "Fox plans to shrink American Idol results show, cutting it to 30 minutes. The Tuesday performance show will be 90 minutes, which could be considered an expansion from its typically scheduled one hour, but Fox is known to frequently expand the show to two hours anyway." That may sound more like an expansion than anything else, but the real highlight of this is: Glee won't follow Idol anymore. Oh yes, Glee has been moved to Tuesdays at 7pm, which means it will anchor the night and not have to worry about Idol running long and ruining everyone's DVR plans. Me likey. :)

I'll put together a post about the new fall schedule and what pilots we have to look forward to, but for now, it'll just have to wait.

Well, I aimed for a more straight-forward approach this time, but here we are again. So, with just about as much blathering as ever, here's how things stacked up...

***SHOWS THAT WILL BE JOINING US AGAIN NEXT YEAR***

Lie to Me AND Human Target (surprise!)
In rather anticlimactic fashion, they both survived. A bit of a surprise, but no where near as bloodbathy (bloodbathic?) as one would have hoped. I had my money on Lie to Me surviving and Human Target getting the axe, but alas, they'll both be back to 13 episodes a piece (with an option for the back 9... maybe... Fox's midseason schedule has always been a quagmire and now that they've expanded to summertime programming, who really knows). I tried to get into Human Target, but it just never grabbed me. Lie to Me got a whole hell of a lot better last season, but it'll still never be a top tier show (especially now that I'm hearing showrunner Shawn Ryan (who replaced someone else and improved the show considerably) will be leaving to do his own show). Not a good sign, but I'll keep it in mind for the future.

American Idol
This juggernaut of horrible just keeps on truckin'. Much to my, and my DVR scheduler's chagrin. Bleckk. I'm hoping the new scheduling situation is as beneficial as I'd hope, but with Fox, you can just never be sure. They'll find a way to annoy me, you just wait and see.

Glee
With the highest key demo ratings for a scripted program just about anywhere, this was a foregone conclusion and the renewal was announced ages ago. I'm actually a little concerned for where things might go in season 2, but I can't wait to find out. Booyah!

So You Think You Can Dance
Never did I think I would ever care about dancing, but here we are. Even after last year's disappointing experiment with a fall season of the show, I'm still devoted. The show will be back for this summer and mercifully will NOT be followed by another season a month later. Back-to-back seasons was a colossal failure and Fox knows it. I'm pretty stoked to see how the new format works out...

Bones
It's a third tier show at best, but it's watchable... I suppose. It seems to be getting less and less watchable with each passing episode, but for whatever reason, I keep watching it. Apparently so does everyone else.

House
Another forgone conclusion for the network, House was rather obviously renewed. I wouldn't have been too sad to see this one go, I have to admit. The past few seasons have plummeted this once privileged show into the lower rungs of my third tier. Fox will be sticking with it next year, but I can't be sure that I will...

Fringe
I didn't hang in there long enough for this one, but I've been meaning to give it another go. I've heard it's gotten crazy good, but by now, I've missed so much that I'll have to Netflix it before I can really jump back in. I'm glad to see it's back. Even if just to prove that Sci Fi can work on network TV. Poor ABC... they tried. They really did...

Kitchen Nightmares
You know, I can't stand this show, but after watching dozens of episodes of Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (the original, British version, not the ersatz American version), I really love Gordon Ramsay. I wish to hell this show were more watchable. At any rate, it's back.

Family Guy, American Dad, The Simpsons, and The Cleveland Show
Yep, aside from Sit Down, Shut Up, the entire slate of animated comedies will be back next year. My god, how I wish The Simpsons would just be put out of its misery. I thought for sure that after more than a decade of being unwatchable, they'd finally end this once-stellar series, but no. Sad. Very sad.

***SHOWS THAT WON'T BE JOINING US NEXT YEAR (sarcastic tear)***

24
Finally! Good lord, even hard core fans of the show are ready for this sucker to be put out to pasture. I honestly haven't ever watched too much of this one, but I've heard it's much better when viewed on DVD, so maybe someday I'll be in the mood for some jingoism and torture and will give it a shot. Longest day of your life, eh? Well, this has felt like about the longest decade of programming of my life, so what say we call it even? So long, schedule hog. Making room for better and brighter... or so one would hope. I've only seen and heard bits and pieces about Fox's new shows so far, but I'll let you know what I find out when I find it out.

'Til Death
I have no words to describe my disappointment that this piece of shit lasted as long as it did. Finally, finally, finally it's over. What an embarrassment this was. Bleck. "'Til Death" indeed!

Sons of Tucson
I never even realized this one ever premiered... so you can see where I'm just heartbroken that it's gone.

Past Life
Far and away one of the worst pilots I've ever seen, and I think we all know I've seen a lot of pilots. I think this waste of time survived for 3 episodes. Which, in related news, was 3 episodes too many. Awful. Truly awful. Won't be missed. Oh, but wait! The insanely bland, seemingly drunk lead actress who dazzled us in Past Life has been cast in a new pilot! Squee! And if that weren't enough, it's a Jerry Bruckheimer production! (Sometimes the horsemen of the apocalypse come in twos, it seems...) Yikes. Seriously, The Chase couldn't look worse if it tried, and if I know Jerry Bruckheimer, he's already trying. Really hard. Seriously, I don't know how let that man be in charge of anything even, but he simply won't go away. Michael Bay, too... Blarg.

Who'd have guessed Fox would come through for me in the clutch?

The upfronts were last week and they came with more than a few surprises. The fates of NBC's shows were decided a while ago (yay for Chuck! (even if we'll have to wait till March)), so now I can move on to the other nets.

The Fox network has a long, painful, sordid, disappointing past, but they made a real effort to redeem themselves this year. Network president Kevin Reilly gave Dollhouse a stay of execution and allowed for a 13 episode initial pick-up for next season. In spite of criminally undeserved low ratings, Dollhouse's notable online numbers and Whedon's obsessive fans help get a renewal. Deep down, I think Reilly was just sick to death of Whedon fans decrying the network day in and day out, but motives aside, I'm thrilled it got a pick-up. It started out a little shakey, but really hit its stride as the season went on. And, if precedent serves, the second season will be even better than the first. The fledgling seasons of Buffy and Angel were good, but the second seasons were much, much better. So let it be with Dollhouse.

The DH renewal provided a win for nerds, but the cancellation of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles was a fair blow for many. I never got into the show, but I hear it was really solid, and the fact that it featured Summer Glau (a Whedon alum) automatically wins it some points. The TSCC fans cried foul when DH got picked up and TSCC didn't, but TSCC got a reprieve last year and was granted two seasons total, so I say it's DH's turn. :) Plus, now Summer is free to jump shows. While she would make an excellent doll (let's face it, she's basically been playing that role for years now), it sounds like Joss has other plans in mind. Whatever happens, I'm excited to see it.

A final note on Dollhouse, before I get to the new pilots, it's sounding like the episode titled "Epitaph One" won't be airing on Fox and will only be on the DVD set (and possibly at Comic-Con). Felicia Day (aka Penny from Dr. Horrible) plays some sort of post-apocalyptic fighter girl, so I'm completely stoked. Oh, Joss. Only he would cast Felicia in such a role. Awesome. For an interview with Felicia where she talks about DH, go here.

Anyway, in other picked up and cancelled Fox news:

Pick-Ups:
24, American Dad, American Idol, Bones (for 2 seasons... yay...), Dollhouse, Family Guy, Fringe, House, Kitchen Nightmares, Lie to Me (for 13 episodes--initially), The Simpsons, and 'Til Death

Deaths:
King of the Hill, Prison Break, Sit Down Shut Up, and TSCC

So yeah, those are the kiddies who will and will not be returning next year. Among those that will be returning will be a slate of newbies, most of which will suck. Here are the new shows you get to look forward to, or in the case of a few of these, avoid like the plague...

Below are the official descriptions and then my initial assessments of them.

PAST LIFE

Network Write-Up: From writer David Hudgins (“Friday Night Lights”), and inspired by the book “The Reincarnationist” by M.J. Rose, comes PAST LIFE, a new drama series about an unlikely pair of past-life detectives who investigate whether what is happening to you today is the result of who you were before. DR. KATE MCGINN is not your typical psychologist. Confident, outspoken and highly educated, she works at The Talmadge Center for Behavioral Health in New York City, a world-renowned institute dedicated to the study of the science of the soul. After experiencing a past-life regression in her 20s, Kate became a believer in reincarnation. Using regression therapy and her natural gift for reading people, Kate helps solve the mysteries of her troubled clients who suffer from present-day problems caused by past-life traumas. She believes there are levels of consciousness and explanations for human behavior that science can’t begin to explain. Accustomed to skeptics, but not bothered by them, Kate is an unapologetic believer and a force of nature who marches to the beat of her own drummer. Her partner, PRICE WHATLEY, is a different story. A former NYPD homicide detective, pragmatic and cynical, Price is a damaged soul who constantly battles grief and guilt over the accidental death of his wife. Price feels that Kate, though not certifiable, certainly operates on the fringes of science. It's a volatile relationship, but with Price's solid detective skills, and Kate's penchant for out-of-the-box thinking, together they make a formidable, if somewhat dysfunctional, team. A fast-paced emotional thrill ride, each episode finds Price and Kate working with their colleagues to unravel a new mystery involving the past-lives of their clients. DR. MALACHI TALMADGE (Richard Schiff, “The West Wing”) is Kate’s mentor and the center’s namesake, an avuncular but gruff elder statesman who is a legend in the field of cognitive research.



My take: Yeah, you lost me at "the world's authority on past lives." Apparently when all the real professions have been played out on TV, you have to start making some up. Fortunately, the people employed by this fake profession are pretty and blonde, so who cares! I don't know, in the right hands, with the right showrunner, and handled in just the right way, this could work, but the odds of that being the case just aren't good. The trailer alone struck me as nothing but lame. I kind of like the Minority Report cinematography (a conceit that was handled in just the right way so that it actually worked), but the concept is just so very silly that all the pizzazz in the world likely won't save it. It's a shame that so much money and talent went into such a cheeseball story. Richard Schiff? Really? I'm so disappointed...

HUMAN TARGET

Network Write-Up: It takes a brave, selfless man to make himself a “human target” in order to save the lives of those in danger. Based on the popular DC Comics comic book and graphic novel, HUMAN TARGET is a full-throttle action drama centered on CHRISTOPHER CHANCE (Mark Valley, FRINGE), a unique private contractor/security guard hired to protect. Call him what you like, because for Chance, it’s about one thing only: saving his clients’ lives. When there is an unusual or imminent threat that can’t be solved through “normal” means of protection, Chance is hired to completely integrate himself into his clients’ lives – to become the human target. If you’re a corporate manager whose disgruntled employee has gone violently off the deep end, Chance is your new auditor. If you’re the president of a bank who’s been tipped off to a potential heist, Chance is your unassuming bank teller. During each job, Chance, assisted by his business partner WINSTON (Chi McBride, “Pushing Daisies”) and hired gun GUERRERO (Jackie Earle Haley, “Watchmen”), puts himself directly in the line of fire as he races against time to save his client, while unraveling the truth behind the mission. With every new danger, Chance’s dark history will also unravel. Does anyone know who Christopher Chance really is, or what secrets lay buried in his past? What would make a man willingly become a HUMAN TARGET?



My take: This one looks like it could be fun, but it also looks like it's trying to be Burn Notice, and NO ONE can hold a candle to Burn Notice... It's got your typical "he's a badass with specialized skills who can do things no one else can" conceit, which is overdone, to be sure, but it has a solid cast (for the most part) and doesn't appear to take itself too seriously (which is appreciated). I love Chi McBride and Jackie Earl Haley always does a great job, but I have to admit, Mark Valley doesn't really do it for me... I didn't like him in Fringe, but I'm hoping he's better here. All in all, this one looks like it could be a lot of fun. It could also be a completely pointless shoot-em-up action show without any real substance, but I'm hopeful that's not the case. I'm not sure who the showrunner is at this point, so it's hard to tell. Based solely on the talent involved and the trailer, I think this one has some real potential. Don't get me wrong, I'd still much rather have Michael Westen watching my back or keeping me safe, but surely he can't save everybody (and would probably take pleasure in seeing Carla die in a train wreck). Overall, I think this show could work and I'll definitely be giving it a chance. Oy, speaking of, Christopher Chance? Seriously? That's the name? Was Warren Fearless already taken? Ugh. I'm going to choose to ignore that...

GLEE

Network Write-Up: McKinley High School's Glee Club used to be at the top of the show choir world, but years later, it has turned into a haven for misfits and social outcasts. But at McKinley, things for the Glee Club are about to change. From Ryan Murphy, the creator of “Nip/Tuck,” comes GLEE, an uplifting comedy musical series with biting humor that features a soundtrack of hit music from past to present. The show follows an optimistic high school teacher as he tries to refuel his own passion for singing while reinventing the school's glee club and challenging a group of ragtag performers to realize their star potential. WILL SCHUESTER (Matthew Morrison), a young optimistic teacher, has offered to take on the Herculean task of restoring McKinley's Glee Club to its former glory with the help of fellow teacher and germaphobe EMMA PILLSBURY (Jayma Mays). It's a tall order when the brightest stars of the club include KURT (Chris Colfer), a nerdy soprano with a flair for the dramatic; MERCEDES (Amber Riley), a dynamic diva-in-training who refuses to sing back-up; ARTIE (Kevin McHale), a geeky guitarist who spends more time avoiding bullies than chasing girls; and TINA (Jenna Ushkowitz), an awkward girl who needs to suppress her stutter before she can take center stage. Will's only hope lies with two true talents: RACHEL BERRY (Lea Michele), a perfectionist firecracker who is convinced that show choir is her ticket to stardom; and FINN HUDSON (Cory Monteith), the popular high school quarterback with movie star looks and a Motown voice who must protect his reputation with his holier-than-thou girlfriend and head cheerleader, QUINN (Dianna Agron), and his arrogant football teammate, PUCK (Mark Salling).



My take: Okay, so the Glee pilot has actually already aired, so my take actually kind of knows what it's talking about this time (for once). If you'd like to watch the full pilot, it's available here. Not only is it available, but it's pretty damn awesome to boot, so I would seriously suggest checking it out. The pilot was really solid, but I have to say that the preview of next season looks even better. (The pilot aired a couple of weeks ago, but the show won't officially start airing till this fall.) Anyway, this show is from the same guy who was behind Popular back in the day, and most recently worked on Nip/Tuck. I adored Popular and I quite enjoy me some musical elements, so it's little surprise the I enjoyed Glee. I think the only reason I didn't completely adore the pilot is that it's largely the same plot as the movie Election, with most of the same characters, only you have to substitute "student council" with "glee club." It even has the same tone and visual style. Don't get me wrong, Election was a great movie, so if you're going to borrow from something, I would highly suggest it, but it was a little off-putting just how many similarities there were. Anyway, deja vu aside, I think it's going to make for a great series. The pilot was a lot of fun, but also snarky, with an edge of dark humor. Even if you're not into musicals, I think you'd enjoy this show (which isn't really a musical anyway). Word is, Alias spydaddy Victor Garber, Pushing Daisies alum Kristen Chenowith, and Wicked star Idina Menzel will all be making appearances on this show coming this fall, so even if I had hated the pilot, I would still be tuning in. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a great musical number, and with Pushing Daisies over and dead, I need a new outlet. :)

SONS OF TUCSON

Network Write-Up: In the tradition of “Malcolm in the Middle” and “The Bernie Mac Show,” SONS OF TUCSON is a family comedy about three brothers who hire a charming, wayward schemer to stand in as their father when their real one goes to prison. What begins as a business relationship evolves into something more complex and compelling: a family unlike any we’ve ever seen. The three brothers find their dad-for-hire, RON SNUFFKIN (Tyler Labine, “Reaper”), at the local sporting good store. Ron will be forced to draw on a wide array of skills and a vast bag of tricks as he steps into the patriarch role to take care of the boys of the Gunderson family. ROBBY GUNDERSON, 8, is a loose cannon who doesn’t take garbage from anyone; GARY GUNDERSON, 11, is a bright and street-savvy leader who is every bit the con man his father is; and BRANDON GUNDERSON, 13, is a gentle free spirit who goes along for the ride. MAGGIE MORALES, Robby’s second-grade teacher and the object of Ron’s affection, might just be the only stable figure in the lives of this quirky quartet.



My take: Meh. It doesn't look terrible, but it didn't really jump out at me either. Tyler Labine never really held much appeal for me on Reaper, and I'm doubting he will here either. It looks like it could be all right, I suppose, but the whole "he's a fish out of water who doesn't know how to be a dad" thing could get real old real fast. In summation, meh.

MENTAL

Network Write-Up: When DR. JACK GALLAGHER (Chris Vance, “Prison Break”), a dynamic and radically unorthodox psychiatrist, is named Director of Mental Health Services at a Los Angeles hospital, his unconventional style leads some of his new colleagues to believe he may be as unstable as his patients. MENTAL is a medical drama that explores the complexities of the human mind as never before. To Jack, each case is a puzzle to be solved. Confronted with each patient’s crisis, including unknown, misunderstood, and even misdiagnosed conditions, Jack must plunge inside the mind of his patients long enough to uncover what might be the key to their long-term recovery, often times working against the clock and his patients’ wishes. Ever the rebel, Jack insists on getting to the root of his patients’ illnesses by exploring first who they are as human beings, but as he fights to help his patients quickly, he must often work within only a legal 72-hour hold to determine a diagnosis. Jack must reconcile his effective, yet highly unconventional practices with his conservative boss, hospital administrator NORA SKOFF (Annabella Sciorra, “The Sopranos”), who puts her own reputation on the line by hiring him. Unfortunately, his colleagues remain resistant to his treatment methods, including dedicated psychiatrist DR. VERONICA HAYDEN-JONES, who was passed over for Jack’s position, and DR. CARL BELLE, a master politician with a polished exterior who is dedicated to Jack’s downfall.

Here's a clip:



My take: This is another one of Fox's new pet projects which has already aired. I would provide you with the link to the full pilot, but trust me, it not worth the effort. The pilot was bad. I mean really, REALLY bad. Aside from Seymour (from Burn Notice) and Maury (from Gilmore Girls), the pilot had no redeeming qualities. And lest you think those two are enough to compensate for all the rest, they aren't series regulars. They were just patients of the week. The promos and brief clips for this show really don't do the horribleness justice. I'm shocked this turkey even got picked up. The writing was atrocious, the acting was almost as bad, and the overall concept has been done and redone a thousand times, only to a much more successful end. This show is basically House, but crappy. He's a renegade doctor who does what it takes to save the patient and doesn't care who he pisses off in the process. The guy on Mental isn't quite so snarky, and the woman playing the Cuddy on the show wears glasses, but otherwise, it's basically the same idea. Only awful. Don't waste your time with this one. The only real merit I found was in the risibility of the show. This show was so bad it was funny, but not so bad it was awesome. It was actually kind of sad to watch. That, and painful. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad... It's crap like this that makes me understand how shows like The Mentalist stay on the air... The bar is low, people. Really low. I mean, they must have special ordered or sent away for that sucker...

Anyway, there were a couple of other shows on the slate, but neither jumped out at me. One was a new animated comedy that I assume will follow in the footsteps of Fox's current slate of comedies and the other was about a football player or something. I didn't read past "football."

So there you have it. As a professional TV watcher, I'll likely be checking most of these out, even if I don't really want to, but that's the burden I bear for having no life.