Line Item Rants

With the new fall season starting up in a few weeks, I've been taking it easy and haven't been posting very much in the last couple of weeks. Actually, as much as I'd like to think that "taking it easy" is the only reason, it is a distant second to the fact that there just hasn't been a whole lot to write about. There are plenty of shows in the summer these days (good lord, my Sundays are teeming with programs), but with a few exceptions, I've been underwhelmed. Nothing has really warranted its own 15 page post (front and back!), so here are some random thoughts on some random shows (several of which you probably didn't even know that I watch--oooh, the depths of television that I plumb when no one is looking...)

TRUE BLOOD

As mentioned in my recent query to Matt Roush, True Blood has been more entertaining this season than last, but that's not to say it isn't a complete mess at the same time. Don't get me wrong, I'll take just about anything over were-panthers, but the show is so unfocused, so sprawling, so haphazard that even the elements I'm enjoying are kind of driving me nuts lately. The vampires versus witches storyline has been entertaining, but it should be packing far more of a punch than it is. Why is it not hitting as hard as it should, you ask? Well, aside from the writing, which seems hell-bent on only raising the stakes so high as to be easy to manage, but more than anything, there are so many completely unrelated storylines being tossed in that the momentum gets quashed at every turn. We only have a couple of episodes left, so the tension should be blissfully, nail-bitingly unbearable, but at this point? Yep, those witches sure are causing some problems... Sigh. Every time they start to ratchet things up, we cut to some random event in the lives of Sam, Arlene, Tommy, Andy, Jessica, Debbie, and everyone else under the sun (or under the ground while the others are under the sun). I've complained before that the show needed to cut half the characters, but I'm feeling it now more than ever. It seems like every time the writers start to actually focus their attention on the primary story arc, I get hit in the face with 10 minutes of filler storylines that annoy the hell out of me. In and of themselves, I don't hate these characters, but when they're off on random tangents that take me away from the unholy apocalypse that should be drawing everyone's attention, it grates. I still enjoy the show, but it's a total mess. What few storylines it actually keeps an eye on (amid the hundreds) almost always fizzle out in the end or get completely forgotten. For as much as I hated the stupid, disgusting, ridiculous (in a bad way) were-panther crap, I kind of can't believe they just dropped it cold. On a purely selfish level, I'm thrilled that they realized what a colossal failure that was and casually wrote it out of the new season as quickly as possible, from a narrative standpoint, that was the biggest effing waste of time. They spent so much time and energy setting up all these people and their relationship with Jason and now what? Nothing? Hell, that situation only seems to have had the most superficial of effects on Jason, let alone the overall storyline of the show. I would hate for them to pop up in the future, but from a writer's perspective, I can't believe that was a throw-away. That's just one of the many, many storylines that suck, go nowhere, or ultimately mean nothing. From a show that I trusted more, I would know deep down that all the establishing stuff that's going on right now would mean something down the line, but with True Blood? They'll probably forget about all of it as soon as they get bored with it. Arlene's demon baby? Jason's blood-fueled affair with Jessica? Andy's V addiction? Sam in general? Alcide and Debbie's dysfunction? On a more reliable show, I could be assured that these tangential narratives would eventually build to something meaningful to the show as a whole, but here? Who the hell knows. They might just be a complete waste of time. Remember Russel Edgington, who, it was teased, would logically come back this season in some capacity? Sigh.

One the plus side, I'm pretty damn glad Eric is finally back. As much as I enjoyed his doe-eyed acting job, the Sookie-Eric relationship felt incredibly forced. That said, they do have some palpable chemistry, always have, and I kinda have to wonder how Stephen Moyer feels about all this... Probably the same way Bill feels, so, you know, he's working real hard this season. I'm intrigued to see how things play out now that Eric is back, but knowing True Blood, they'll probably drop the ball. This show has a whole lot to work with, but just gets distracted too easily. They need to pare down the cast, pick a central storyline to focus on, and build to a climax that is more central. The show isn't completely without merit, but at this point, I'd give it a C+ average. I get frustrated, but then it comes up with lines like, "I don't care what happens as long as I get to kill shit!" and it's hard to hold a grudge.


THE GLADES

This show has gone from third-tier "nothing else is on" filler to completely unwatchable. The cause? Kiele Sanchez, who, as far as I'm concerned, should be buried alive in real life, not just on Lost. God, she's unbearable. In her defense (just a tad), her unrelenting hate-ability has more than a little to do with the writing. On The Glades, she's just horrendous. It's a show that's clearly written by nothing but men who infuse drama into the show by relying on the irritating fallacy that "women are emotional and crazy" and very little else. Callie's every action, every comment, and every reaction is completely irrational and pissy, almost 100% of the time. That's annoying in and of itself, but when she's been posited as the "will they or won't they" love interest of the series, it's unbearable. Dear Show, NO ONE WANTS THEM TOGETHER. Hell, when Jim's ex showed up on the scene to act as an obstacle to the non-epic romance that is Jim and Callie, I speak for everyone I know who watches the show when I say, "Pick the new girl!!!!" She's gone now, much to my chagrin, but when the central romance on your show is the worst part of your show, you're in trouble. Next week Callie gets held at gunpoint by a patient at the hospital. I don't think I'm alone in hoping he suffers from a severe case of Itchy Trigger Finger. I'll be breaking up with this show after next week if she lives. (Oh, and now she's a "forensic nurse"??? WTF? Not only am I pretty sure that's just a ridiculous, made-up profession, the last thing this show needed was more Callie, so what do they do? Make her a pseudo-cop. Smooth. Real smooth.)


LEVERAGE

You know, it's hard to put this show in this category because, in and of itself, it's as good as it ever was. The real problem is that it was never very good. This is mainly because it has little to no over-arching storyline, the head of the team is practically unwatchable (seriously, anyone but Timothy Hutton would be an improvement), and the capers each week are pretty much exactly the same, only with different names. I'm no big fan of procedurals in general, but this one is driving me crazy these days. It's bad enough that it's the same people doing the same things every week with very little personal or emotional development, but it seems to be getting harder and harder for the writers to think up ways for each member of the team to be useful. Beyond that, what they come up with is getting less and less convincing. Sophie is an actractive woman, don't get me wrong, but she's not the head-turning vixen the show seems to think she is. Hate to break it to you, but relying on her wiles and sex appeal at every turn makes no sense whatsoever. The writing is just plain bad. Jesus, that episode where Hardison gets buried alive (because, you know, it's required to have such an episode at this point in a series) should have been a tour de force, and for Aldis Hodge's performance alone, it was one of the better episodes, but everything beyond him was laughable. The dialogue was cringe-worthily bad at every turn. I kept expecting wacky, mad cap music to cue up as people ran in and out of different doors down a long hallway. Awful. I need to break up with it, I really do, but I enjoy Hardison quite a lot and Parker has her charms. Everyone else can jump off a cliff. Man alive, the last time it went to commercial break with its standard, "You're watching Leverage, on TNT," I keep changing it in my head to, "You're watching Leverage, on TNT, and you don't know why." You're damn straight, mental re-write of standard advertising. As with most of the shows on this list, it could be so good, and yet, it just isn't.


IN PLAIN SIGHT

Okay, so In Plain Sight has already concluded its summer run, but it's still a disappointment. I realize that Mary MacCormack got knocked up in real life (which should be a fire-able offense when you're on this kind of show), but that does NOT mean you should write it into the storyline. Ever. I used to really love this show, but pregnant Mary was an epic fail in every possible regard. In my heart of hearts, I've been carrying a torch for Mary and Marshall to hook up, and her random, ridiculous pregnancy completely ruined their vibe this season. What's worse, there wasn't even the slightest suggestion of terminating the pregnancy as an option. It would be absolutely fine for Mary to be against abortion, and frankly, I think that could be consistent with her character's need to protect others, but then they should mention that. To not even put a throw-away line in there is absurd. A woman of her age, with a high risk, unwanted pregnancy would at least consider it as an option, and even if she didn't, everyone else certainly would. I was actually a little relieved when I heard that the show would be back for another season, but that that would be the final season, if for no other reason than the demoralizing prospect that she might actually keep the baby. She might not abort the baby, but she sure as hell wouldn't keep it, no matter how lazy the writers get. As with so many other ridiculous pregnancies on television, this one ruined the show. Even if you like children, you'd be hard-pressed to argue that it didn't ruin this show and Alias before it. It should be part of their contract that they can't get pregnant if they're on this kind of a show. How I Met Your Mother? No big deal. Action shows? Awful. I'm sorry, but when you're 8 months pregnant, you're not going to be chasing down bad guys... Oh wait, that's her job. And the entire foundation of the show. Seriously, people, this is not rocket science. Is it ridiculous to cover her huge pregnant belly with giant handbags and potted plants? Sure. Is it necessary? YES. Wow, she's a beautiful woman, but she's one of those women who seem to get pregnant with every fiber of their being. She looked unbelievably uncomfortable all season.

Thinning the Herd

I don't know if you've met most shows, but the vast majority of them suck. As such, while I watch nearly every pilot that comes out (whether I mention it on this blog or not), only a few make it into my regular rotation. It's not often that I'll either pick up or completely discredit a show based entirely on the pilot, so I usually give those with even a modicum of potential a couple of episodes to really grab me. Don't get me wrong, when it comes to bags of crap like The Beautiful Life, The Deep End, or The Forgotten, I only need about ten minutes of the pilot to decide it falls into "Show Fail" territory and never look back, but most shows have a least a glimmer of hope.

In looking at the new shows for this summer, a few shows managed to make it onto my schedule, but the majority fell by the wayside pretty quickly. ABC, NBC, and Fox tried their hands at summer programming, but by and large, they failed pretty spectacularly. It's cute that the big four thought they could really challenge the cable networks... Sad, but cute.

With a schedule as jam-packed as mine is, I can't really afford to keep shows that don't have me truly interested on some level. Don't get me wrong, the three tiered system is still in place, but it's become so overflowing that I've found I have to cut my losses quicker and quicker. Back in the day, I was able to give shows more time to impress me, but with my DVR prioritizer bursting at the seams (literally, it can only hold 50 shows, and I've had to break up with old ones in order to make way for new ones), I just can't do it anymore. Sometimes you just have to thin the herd...

Here are the sickly little gazelles that didn't survive:

• The Gates
  I actually enjoyed the first couple of episodes of The Gates well enough (it seemed like a nice, thoughtless summer guilty pleasure), but it just didn't keep my attention. That, coupled with the dismal ratings and I knew it wasn't worth dedicating myself to a lost cause. Also, confoundingly, for a show about vampires, witches, werewolves, and whatever else, it was surprisingly slow.
  
  
• Scoundrels
  This crap-fest didn't stand a chance. I barely made it through the pilot alive. I realize summer isn't really your key season here, but if you're going to make a foray into this kind of scheduling, at least make it bearable...
  
  
• The Good Guys
  This one's a heart-breaker. I wanted to like it, I really really did, but alas, I just plain didn't. I thought my allegiance to Matt Nix knew no bounds, but apparently I was wrong. It knows some bounds all right... bounds called The Good Guys.
  
  
• Memphis Beat
  This show actually had a fairly solid pilot, and while I can appreciate that it's well-made and certainly has its charm, at the end of the day, it's your standard cop procedural and I lost interest after only a few episodes. The dynamics of the show just didn't really gel for me and after only the second episode, I felt like it was a chore to watch and gave up.
  
  
• Rizzoli & Isles
  Again, it's not a bad show really (which isn't to say it's a good show either), but if you've seen one cop procedural, you've seen 'em all, and this show did very little to reinvent the wheel. I found the relationship between R and I boring, uninspired, and generic. Add to that Donnie Wahlberg as a love interest and I officially reached my limit (and tested my gag reflex to the breaking point. Think unsexy thoughts... Think unsexy thoughts... Oooh, that's unsexy...).
  
  
• Pretty Little Liars
  On a purely trivial level, I wish I had stuck with this one. From what I hear, it's the perfect summertime soap opera. I caught the first few episodes, and while I could appreciate the shallowness and intrigue, I ultimately found that I needed more substance. I just plain didn't care what crazy things were happening because I didn't care about any of the characters. I'm not saying it needed to be a deep, cerebral tour de force or anything, but a dollop of substance would have gone a hell of a long way.
  
  
• Huge
  Ugh. I only made it through the pilot. I found it completely charmless and dour from beginning to end. They had a real opportunity here to present an uncommon television demographic here, but all the characters were fairly unlikeable. I toyed with the idea of giving it a few more episodes to draw me in, but ultimately decided it wasn't worth it.
  

Here are the shows of hardier stock that have made it into my regular rotation for various reasons (some more justifiable than others):

• Covert Affairs
  As per usual with USA network, it only took a few episodes for this show to find its feet and really suck me in. Truth be told, every episode since the pilot has been better than the pilot. Much better. From the pilot alone, I had feared the show would be too light and fluffy to really have any gravity or suspense, but it's actually pretty well grounded. Like other shows on this network, it has a pretty nice balance and light and heavy. The show is still a bit rough around the edges, and at times doesn't quite seem to know what to do with some of its characters, but it has found a good groove and has plenty of room to grow and improve. Piper Perabo has been much more engaging and likable than I ever would have expected. There are still certain aspects of her character (and acting) that I would change, but by and large, she's grown on me rather quickly. Her partner in crime (and I suspect, soon to be partner in the sheets) Auggie is an absolute delight. From the pilot, I was apprehensive that the show wouldn't have the dramatic chops to really explore his character, but fortunately, they've settled into a narrative tone that allows for just about anything. The most recent episode helped illuminate some of Auggie's psychological turmoil and I loved it. The more Auggie, the better. I've always loved Christopher Gorham and I'm thrilled he's found such a plum role. His chemistry with Perabo is a big part of why this show is working for me. You can tell that they really seem to enjoy one another and I suspect they get along famously in real life. It shows onscreen. They clearly form the foundation of the show, and more and more it's seeming like they're the only characters. While I appreciate a show that doesn't feel the need to use actors in every episode (if there's no reason for them to be there, leave them out), I get the impression the writers just don't really know what to do with Anne Dudek and Mohinder. Hopefully they'll either cut the dead weight or better yet, find something important and interesting for them to do. As is, Mohinder is largely absent (and nigh-unrecognizable), and Dudek is wasted on a thankless role. All in all, however, I find that I'm really enjoying this one and am actively excited for it week-to-week.
  
  
• Boston Med
  The best little show that no one is watching... but me. I realize this is more up my alley than most, so it comes as little surprise that it hasn't exactly been a ratings juggernaut (although I hear it's been improving). I'm a sucker for documentaries and medical shows, so this one really appeals to me. It would never be appointment TV or anything, but it makes for a nice alternate.
  
  
• Rookie Blue
  On the more embarrassing end of the spectrum, we have Rookie Blue. It's unabashedly Grey's Anatomy with cops, but you know what? I quite enjoyed Grey's Anatomy at first, so it stands to reason that Rookie Blue would hold some appeal. It's predictable and generic and fairly cheesy, but ultimately pretty harmless. It's not the kind of show I would miss if it disappeared, but for what it is, it's enjoyable enough. It makes for a nice summer distraction, if nothing else. Although, while I salute Ephram for trying to break out of the Everwood mold, I can't say I like his new character much at all and I spend the better part of each episode wishing he'd start playing the piano or pining for Amy. On an unrelated note, I knew this was a Canadian production, but didn't truly grasp the depth of its Canadianness until I hear a "Soory" slip by. Excellent. :)
  
  
• Rubicon
  In all honesty, I've only seen the pilot, but it was intriguing enough that I'm ready for more. This is a cerebral conspiracy thriller (well, maybe not "thriller" per se... the pacing of the show leaves a bit to be desired) that is extremely well-made and doesn't assume the viewing audience is as dumb as a post. It's a nice change of pace when a show presupposes that viewers will understand what they're trying to do and that they don't need to be spoon fed. That said, it still needs to find its feet. The pilot was a bit uneven for me, but I think they've set up a situation that could be exhilarating. As mentioned, the pacing is really the only aspect of the show that might become an issue. I'm not saying it needs to have one mindless car chase after another or anything, but a little suspense would have done wonders for it. As is, I just didn't get that nail-biting sense of simmering dread that you'd expect from this kind of a conceit. Again, we've only just begun, so here's hoping it figures out exactly what it wants to be and knocks it out of the park.
  
  
• The Glades
  Okay, I'm as shocked as you are on this one. It's basically your standard crime procedural, but for some reason, I keep coming back week-to-week. The lead actor carries the show and he's just charming enough that I want to see more. When I first heard about the show, I had no intention of keeping it. Maybe it's that it airs in an uncrowded timeslot... Whatever the reason, I'm actually quite enjoying this one. It kind of has a House vibe to it, but with a more playful, boyish, carefree bent. If you're in the market for a new crime procedural to add to your slate, I'd recommend you check this one out. Otherwise, I could take it or leave it. I wouldn't be too upset to see it canceled, but I enjoy having it around.
  

Anyway, for good or ill, this has been the most crowded summer viewing schedule I've ever faced. I usually spend the summer tapping into serieseses that I've been meaning to see, but either never watched, or missed the first few seasons of when they actually aired. At present, I've been watching The Wire, Criminal Minds, Rescue Me, Weeds, and Lost, but haven't really had time to polish them off. I'm mired in the middle of each at this point. Sigh. I kind of miss having the summers off. It's also the reason I haven't had a chance to post previews of the other pilots airing this fall. I soldiered through all 817 of NBCs new shows and simply didn't have the time or energy to attack the other networks. Maybe someday...