TV Review: 2 Broke Girls and The Playboy Club

Well, Monday was a pretty pitiful day for new programming, I can tell you that much. Returning shows Castle and to a much lesser extent How I Met Your Mother were the highlights of the evening. Yes, even HIMYM showed some signs of life, although it's on probation. I'm going to take Annie's lead and give it a chance so long as they don't have two bad episodes back-to-back. Even at it's best these days, it's really more "pleasant" than anything else, but for a 20 minute distraction, that's really all I need. That said, I was no fan of Victoria the first time around. Ugh.

Anyway, on to the drivel! I, uh, mean new shows!

2 BROKE GIRLS

Oh my holy god this was painful. I had heard from several critics that it was supposed to be really good, but as it turns out, the critics were smoking massive amounts of crack at the time of viewing... Holy hell this was bad. In all honesty, I only made it 7 minutes in before I simply couldn't take it anymore (a record heretofore held by the pilot for Outsourced), so who knows? Maybe it rallied in it's last 20 minutes or something... I doubt it. Kat Dennings is charmless and has no discernible comedic chops. I only saw about a minute of her costar, so I can't really judge conclusively, but I think it's safe to say she wasn't any better. Aside from the unfunny leads, the show was also awash in tacky ethnic stereotypes that have never been funny. The show basically has Long Duk Dong in the role of horrifying Asian stereotype, Uncle Remus rounding out the offensive African American angle, and I hardly know what to say about the lascivious Russian. It was all in poor taste and was completely off-putting. I'm no politically correct prude, but if you're going to push boundaries or take stabs at people, they have to work. These did not. Such characterizations weren't funny 40 years ago, let alone now. In a modern context, it felt idiosyncratic and lame. It would be like a current comedy revolving around Three Stooges style slap stick. Ugh. Anyway, the jokes were painfully forced, the odd couple concept has been way over played (speaking of old motifs), and the cast was terrible. The only line I appreciated was because of Breaking Bad, weirdly enough. Kat's character laments the loss of the meth addict because she was such a good cleaner. Based on my wealth of knowledge about tweakers, thanks to Breaking Bad, I had to chuckle at this. It was the one and only laugh and it had more to do with another show than this one. Show fail.

Pilot Grade (well, the first 7 minutes at least): F

**Update: Having read on AV Club that the second half of the pilot was considerably better than the first, I decided to plow through the rest of the episode. Indeed, the second half was far better than the first. That doesn't mean it's a good show, but puts it at the level of simply "awful" rather than "please dear god, kill me". Baby steps.

Pilot Grade (the entire episode this time): D


THE PLAYBOY CLUB

Dear Religious Nutbags, Conservative Right-Wing Censors, and The Parents' Television Council: Maybe you should actually see a show before condemning it. I'm not saying The Playboy Club is an excellent show that is truly deserving of millions of viewers or anything, but the reason people should tune out is that it simply isn't very good, not because it's smutty or racy or licentious or whatever it is you morons think it is.

This show was tame, people. Insanely tame. I'm actually kind of surprised at just how tame it was. Any show that knew what it was doing would take the right wing condemnation and run with it (a la Gossip Girl appropriating the comments from the Parents' Television Council into their advertising), but The Playboy Club was more wholesome than any random episode of any procedural cop show that I've ever seen. The one and only sex scene, if you can really call it that, showed nothing really and was between a long-term couple who've been discussing getting married. SCANDAL! Oh sure, it's all fine and good to show women being brutally gang-raped and murdered on every episode of every procedural on TV, but The Playboy Club, with its lack of nudity, sex, foul language, and serious violence, that's going too far! Stupid, delusional hypocrites, every one of them.

Anyway, now that that's out of my system, like I said, the reason to bow out of The Playboy Club is that it's just not a very good show. The setting is the 1960s, specifically the Playboy Club and Playboy Mansion, but they seem to be set pieces rather than an actual atmosphere. Where Mad Men creates a milieu of the 60s that you get swept up in, The Playboy Club seems to have rummaged through a few thrift stores and garage sales looking for old stuff to fill the scene. I've seen more than a few critiques that his show is trying to be Mad Men, but really, they have a similar setting, but are wholly different animals in execution. Mad Men is unflinching in its portrayal of the 60s, imbuing each scene, character, and interaction with the social mores of the time. The Playboy Club casually alludes to such issues of race and gender, but isn't willing to dive in or let such things influence a scene in any substantive way.

While the atmosphere is weak, the storyline is worse. The show tries to set up a twisty, thrilling, dangerous narrative right off the bat, but doesn't bother to establish any of the characters first, so the twists and turns and suspense are totally wasted. Literally, within the first ten minutes of the pilot, main bunny Amber Heard (I haven't the slightest idea what her character name is) goes from working the floor at the Playboy Club, killing a would-be rapist in self defense, and helping main guy Eddie Cibrian dispose of the guy's body because he's apparently a murderous mobster or something. So yeah, within minutes, a man and woman I don't know and don't care about are in mortal peril with the threat of exposure hanging over their heads. Yep, don't care. If they wanted this pilot to work, they should have spent the pilot establishing this world and these people, only to have the guy's death come at the very end. If I even kind of cared about these people, I might have enjoyed the pilot more, but as is, the narrative just seems to be random things happening to pretty faces. That's simply not enough to invest in. Especially with the acting as poor as it was.

The supporting cast had a lot more going for it (with Carol Lynn being far and away the best part of the show), but not enough screentime to get me invested. It's hardly worth recalling the details, but the biggest thrills came in the realization that Simon Tam and Mr. Universe were among the cast. Sure they're wasted and all, but it was still nice to see some faces that I actually cared about. A nice change of pace, really. I found myself investing in their characters based on their past roles alone, which is not a good sign for their current show.

It wasn't the worst pilot I've ever seen before, but it just didn't have enough panache or polish to pull off this conceit. I've heard that the pilot underwent some serious retooling prior to air and I can tell. From the trailer, it looked far worse than it was. Unfortunately, such efforts may have spared The Playboy Club from the bottom of the barrel, but hardly raised it to the top of the heap. Quite frankly, I think my perceptions of the show were mostly colored by the fact that I watched this right after 2 Broke Girls. Compared to that piece of shit, this really didn't seem all that terrible, you know? I at least finished the pilot for this one.

Pilot Grade: C-

NBC Pilots 2011: Volume 1 (fall dramas)

It's that magical, yet ultimately disappointing time of year again. Don't get me wrong, May is probably the biggest, most important, busiest time of year for the TV biz, but with all the new pilots announced in the Spring comes all the apprehension that most of them will suck come Fall. This year's slate of new pilots looks to be more promising than last year (when I was honestly starting to think that network TV had just sorta given up altogether), but I'm not counting my chickens.

Here's what the schedule will look like for NBC this fall (please bear in mind that these times are Eastern Standard Time, even though that's not where I live (hey, a girl can dream, all right?)):

New pilots are in all-caps.

MONDAY
8 pm The Sing-Off
10 pm THE PLAYBOY CLUB

TUESDAY
8 pm The Biggest Loser
10 pm Parenthood

WEDNESDAY
8 pm UP ALL NIGHT
8:30 pm FREE AGENTS
9 pm Harry’s Law (new time slot)
10 pm Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

THURSDAY
8 pm Community
8:30 pm Parks and Recreation (new time slot)
9 pm The Office
9:30 pm WHITNEY
10 pm PRIME SUSPECT

FRIDAY
8 pm Chuck (new, rather sad time slot)
9 pm GRIMM
10 pm Dateline NBC

SUNDAY
7 pm Football Night in America
8:15 pm NBC Sunday Night Football

Geez, whoever noticed that NBC has absolutely nothing on Sundays? I sure didn't. Wow, this network is even more pathetic than I thought... and that's a high bar.

Anyway, the only scheduling notes are that Chuck has been moved to Friday, so that it has plenty of time to ponder sloughing off this mortal coil, and that Grimm will be premiering on Friday, which doesn't exactly scream confidence. Dear NBC, maybe you should put some actual scripted programming on Sundays, eh? Oh, who am I kidding. Football is about the only thing on this network that anyone watches. So sad.

Even sadder? NBC actually has some pilots that look promising, but they'll be held till midseason for some unfathomable reason (maybe they really like rhyming?). More on them in a future post, but for now, here are some of the new drama pilots for this fall:

THE PLAYBOY CLUB

Description: Stars Amber Heard (Zombieland), Eddie Cibrian (CSI: Miami), David Krumholtz (Numb3rs), Jenna Dewan-Tatum (Step Up), Laura Benanti (Eli Stone) and others. Brian Grazer (24, Parenthood and Friday Night Lights) executive-produces.



First Impressions: While I salute NBC for trying to tap into the Mad Men vibe and era, I have serious reservations about this kind of show on network TV, especially with the focus being on an establishment geared toward sex and drugs. I don't know if you've met network TV, but there's a reason edgier programs wind up on cable. For as solid as the production looks in the trailer, I have a feeling the show started off one way and ended up quite another way when it got picked up by NBC. As much as I hope it can find a foothold and an audience, the necessary watering-down of the content will likely water-down the quality as well. Plus, if there's one demographic that taps into period pieces, it's people who peaked during that period. As much as NBC would jump at the chance for anyone to watch their network again, I don't think the octogenarian set is exactly what they had in mind. This show is going to skew older, I have no doubt. It looks to be well-made and stylish and the decision to cast tabloid staple Eddie Cibrian as a lothario and playboy seeks pre-ordained, but I'm already a bit iffy on the initial story arc. You're telling me her heel broke through someone's skull and all the way into his brain before it broke off the shoe? Boy, they really don't make things like they used to... apparently for safety reasons. I'm cautiously hopeful for this one. Hey, it has David Krumholtz (aka Mr. Universe) in it (even if he wasn't in the trailer at all), so it already wins a few points in my book. If they can pull off the balance between cable themes and network restrictions the way The Good Wife does, it could be a winner, but I'm willing to wager it'll just turn into a low-substance, high-cheese soap opera that likes to think its high brow, but isn't. So I don't trust NBC. Sue me.


PRIME SUSPECT

Description: Stars Mario Bello (ER), Aidan Quinn (Canterbury's Law), and Kirk Acevedo (Fringe). Sarah Aubrey and Peter Berg (Friday Night Lights) will executive-produce.



My Take: First off, this is an American remake of a British series, so I'm already pre-disposed to throw it on the scrap heap and simply seek out the original. Secondly, the British series starred Helen Mirren in the lead where she has been replaced with Maria Bello for American audiences, in case you were wondering just what tack they were aiming for. With that out of the way, I'd say my biggest concern is that it feels like I just watched a trailer for an edgy new cop series about gender roles from... Oh, I don't know, maybe 1991. I have to seriously question the show's approach here. Does anyone really think of policework at strictly a boys' club anymore? Whether it is or it isn't in real life, the television landscape moved past this ages ago. The whole concept seems a little dated and irrelevant. Maybe it's British vs. American sensibilities? Maybe policing really is still a stodgy old boys' club in Britain? In all honestly, when I watch my British shows, there really is a much more prominent and palpable sexism than I see in American shows, so perhaps therein lies the difference. It's always unexpected and I always find it extremely strange, but portrayals of women and interactions with female characters on my British shows are surprisingly sexist from time to time. With that, I can see where Prime Suspect genuinely would have seemed like a trailblazer, featuring a tough woman who can keep up with the guys. On American TV? Been there, done that, two decades ago. Anyway... aside from all that, it honestly doesn't look like a bad show, even if it's main theme seems outdated and perhaps a bit irrelevant. It looks to have more substance than your typical CBS procedural, but more hackneyed procedure than a cable cop drama would offer. It looks like it could strike a nice balance of the two. I can definitely see myself getting sick to death of the constant, "What?! A girl?!" of it all, so hopefully that goes by the wayside sooner than later. Bello looks surprisingly at home in the role and isn't at gussied up or "Hollywood" as I had feared when I heard about the casting, so I'm hopeful. This one will boil down to the level of yammering about the boys' club and the amount of procedure in the show. The less there is of both of those, the better. Yeah, man alive, in terms of gender roles, The Chicago Code managed to explore the treatment of women on the police force only by having the woman in question be top dog of them all, be younger than any other superintendent in history, and be biracial. You really think you're going to push the envelope with a white woman working as a regular old detective? Good luck with that.


GRIMM

Description: Stars David Giuntoli (Privileged), Sasha Roiz (Caprica), Silas Weir Mitchell (Prison Break), and Kate Burton (Grey's Anatomy). The pilot was written and executive-produced by Jim Kouf and David Greenwalt (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel).



My Take: Wow, where to start... On paper, this sounds insanely awesome. In execution? I'm a little afraid. I think it was the little red riding zip hoodie that started the worries. Coming from a production team that had their hands in Buffy and Angel, it's hard not to get excited. Were Joss Whedon included on that list, you can bet I'd be over the moon. Without Joss, however, I have a feeling this show is going to fail to meet its potential. Where Buffy took the "high school is hell" notion and made it reality, this seems to be playing with the "murderers, rapists, and kidnappers are demons" concept in the same way, but without as much success. It's a lot easier to have fun with the concept of Buffy. The levity and snark make the more campy elements totally work. Trying to incorporate similar thematic elements into a crime procedural? I have my doubts. Aside from being one of my least favorite genres, the crime procedural tends to take itself too seriously a lot of the time and when you're dealing with the notion that a descendant of the Brothers Grimm is fighting big bad wolves (heh, well, they got the "big bad" part of the Whedonverse right) and saving little red riding sweatshirt, I have a sinking feeling it'll come across as lame, not inspired. The fact that Seymour from Burn Notice is ostensibly one of the scoobies warms my heart and gives me hope, but I fear viewers will tune in expecting the snap crackle wit of a Whedonverse production and be left wanting. The fact that it's airing on Fridays, after Chuck, doesn't exactly bolster confidence either. On the hopeful chance that this is as awesome as it could be, it likely doesn't stand much of a chance in that timeslot, with that lead-in. Don't get me wrong, they make for a logical pairing, but Chuck's numbers are already terrible, and will likely be abysmal come fall, which means it's not exactly the blockbuster lead-in a new pilot would hope for. This was far from a reassuring trailer, but I'm willing to wager a three minute snippet of Buffy probably looked pretty ridiculous as well. Fingers crossed on this one.