Week-In-Review 3.4

Okay, yeah, so March can't end any sooner. The dearth of new programming is starting to take a serious toll, people. April usually fares a bit better, and then, of course, May is sweeps. Lousy Smarch programming... Honestly, when there's only one new show to watch on a Thursday, you know you're in trouble.

Worst Costume Design/Most Frightening New Pilot: Wonder Woman
Wow, I hardly even know where to start with this particularly train wreck... Man alive, I was worried for this reboot before I saw the costume design courtesy of Entertainment Weekly. Now? "Yikes" just doesn't quite seem to do it justice... It looks to be even worse than I’d feared. I guess it’s good to know that Howie’s Halloween Bargain Bin is getting some much needed business though… Seriously, it could not look any cheaper and couldn’t make Adrianne Palicki look any worse. She’s actually a very pretty girl (check her out as Tyra Collette on Friday Night Lights for a shocking comparison), but with dark hair and the smashed breasts make her look terrible. Her face looks oddly mannish here, which, for a character by the name of Wonder Woman, probably isn’t the direction they were hoping for. I’m going to have to side with TWoP on this one. “Days later and we still think that Adrianne Palicki would have been better off in some Wonder Woman underroos.” I'm not sure how appointed David E. Kelley as the head of this disaster, but between him and this costume, I'm afriad. Very afriad.

Best Casting Choice: Ian’s Biological Father on Shameless
Um, wow. Nicely done, casting director person! Seriously, I’m guessing Cameron Monaghan’s actual father doesn’t look that much like him. Freaky.

Least Believable Knowledge Gap: Robin on HIMYM
I actually thought the concept of everyone having a “knowledge gap” was pretty entertaining, but after several years of establishing Robin as a Canadian who misses being up north, the thought of her not knowing that the North Pole is a real place is ridiculous, even for this show. And not knowing that reindeer are real? Absurd. There are a billion gaps they could have given her, but for some reason they settled on the most unbelievable of them all. Did the writers do this on purpose to make Robin look even dumber than we thought, or did they casually forget who the character is entirely? Who knows.

Best Pick-Up News: Southland
I wouldn’t say this is my favorite show by any stretch, but it’s a quality program with incredible performances week-to-week and deserves another season. Anything to stick it to NBC for canceling them in such a shady way in the first place is a win in my book.

Somehow, Most and Fewest Eliminations: The Biggest Loser
I have never really cared for this show, but various people in my office watch it, so I caved. I hate being on the outside of a conversation, so I figured I’d tune in for the fast-forwarded version. I did that for a few weeks, but then my scheduling got too full and I had to bail on it. Well, with March upon us and reruns in full swing, I finally got back to it. After this long, I assumed I’d see maybe 6, considerably thinner contestants left. Well, everyone was thinner, but there were still 11 people left. And if that weren’t enough, they brought back another one! And then they eliminated a guy who didn’t want to go home, and kept a girl who did. I realize they’re trying to make things more exciting here, but it’s mostly just lame. And at the rate they keep bringing people back, the season will end sometime around Christmas. Of next year.

Best Shipper Name: Esplainie on Castle
You know, because they’re always “esplaining” things. Solid gold.

Best Meta References: Castle
Speaking of shippers, hats off to Castle for addressing the crazy fans out there head-on, and in the most charming way possible. They somehow managed to take on obsessive shippers, bloggers who rail against the shows they love, and the fervor over their own will-they-or-won’t-they setup, all without pissing off anyone who actually falls into those categories. Well played.

Shittiest Luck: Basically the entire cast of Shameless
Boy, this just keep going from bad to worse for these people. This week’s episode set the dominoes in place, and in the finale few minutes, nudged that first one into the next. Sunday’s finale promises a wide array of crazy as the rest come tumbling down. Oh, Officer Tony. Way to go, champ. Surely sending Lip and Ian to jail is the way into Fiona’s pants, right?

Second Shittiest Luck: Winona and Raylan on Justified
Last week’s episode felt a little out of place and kind of like a filler episode, but when you combine it with this week’s denouement, it turns out that it was actually a thrilling two-parter that should have been aired on the same night. After last week, I was a little skeptical about how things played out. Why the hell would Winona have taken a single bill to the bank to see if it was real? Was she going to go back for the rest? That’s a terrible plan! Well, with this week’s episode, it all makes a lot more sense. She took the whole lot first thing, intending on spending it, then realized that perhaps the reason it was in lock-up for so long was that it was counterfeit. That’s why she went to the bank with the one bill, then changed her mind as she realized the ramifications of showing up at a bank with a fake bill. This in no way means her actions weren’t incredibly stupid, but at least there’s a rationale behind it. Man alive, the payoff in this week’s episode was well-worth the ambivalence over last week’s. In true Hitchcockian brilliance, the audience becomes a co-conspirator with Raylan and Winona as they try desperately to put that money back where it came from without getting caught. With the audience being the only ones privy to every moment, it became unbearably nerve-wracking as their every attempt failed, then was one-upped with even more danger. So great. And, while lesser shows would have put us through all that and then had them get away scot free, Justified gives us some resolution without the rose-colored glasses. Winona gets the money back into evidence, but not without Art Mullen becoming slightly suspicious of our good friend Raylan. I’m just so glad I can breathe again now that the money has been taken care of that I’m more than happy to live with a little unsubstantiated suspicion.

In Related News, Most Terrifying Performance by an Inanimate Object: Winona’s stupid, ugly, incriminating bag on Justified
I must have thought to myself, “Oh, for hell’s sake, Winona!” at least a hundred times because of that bag…

Most Deafening Silence/Longest Elevator Ride Ever: Justified
After enduring an entire episode of unbridled anxiety, the money is returned, Winona’s leather bag is empty, but that’s only just the beginning. Wow, I wouldn’t have wanted to have been in that elevator after all that. Really, after something like this, what do you say? What can you say?

Slumpiest Sophomore Year: Modern Family
This week’s episode was better than the last several, but that must mean that the bar has been lowered considerably from season 1. I’ve never been as over-the-moon about this show as most people (finding it to be more amusing than uproarious), but in season 1, I walked away from most episodes with a few hi-larious quotes and several memorable moments. This season? It’s more medium-larious than anything else and on a far less frequent basis. I guess I’m just not finding a whole lot to latch onto this year. Long story short, where Community has upped its game in season 2, Modern Family has declined. Community has always been a better comedy, but now, the gap is more noticeable than ever.

Biggest Dick: Mike on Top Chef All-Stars
Can I tell you how irked I am that he’s in the finale? Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather see Blais trounce him than Antonia, but that also means that we have to see yet another episode of Mike and his insufferableness. He’s suck a prick. Even when he’s trying to be complimentary, he’s a bastard. Way to undercut Chef Bernstein by specifying that she’s “one of the top women chefs,” rather than simply “one of the top chefs” in the country. Nice back-handed praise for one of the guest judges there, jackass. I swear to god, if he wins this, fans will revolt. Come on Blais, don’t you dare choke… you know, like you did the last time (why yes, yes I will continue to pour salt in that wound if I think it'll motivate him to suck less this time around!)

Strangest, Yet Ridiculously Common Pronunciation: Jaguar on Top Model
I don’t know where people get this idea, but I have heard more than a few people over the years pronounce “jaguar” as “jag-wire”. It’s not even kind of spelled like that and in spite of my best efforts to find a dictionary out there that has that as an alternate pronunciation, I fell short. There are only two pronunciations of “jaguar” that I’ve ever come across in a dictionary. “Jag-wahr” and the chiefly British “jag-yoo-ar”. I’ll happily take either. Not that I should be expecting much from top model contestants, but this weirdness extends beyond just them. So weird.

Best Mash-Up: Pulp Fiction and My Dinner with Andre on Community
I love this show. Best comedy on TV. I’ve never actually seen My Dinner with Andre, but now I might just have to. “I’ll never forget My Dinner with Andre dinner with Abed.” Classic. Only this show could managed to blend two such disparate movies into a TV show that's not only hilarious, but also has emotional depth. Impressive.

Best New Acronym: THL—Tight Heavy Lid
Courtesy of Community, of course. Should prove useful...

**Quotes of the Week**

“You shouldn't have to do fucking Glee…. The guy is so offended that we're not, like, begging to be on his fucking show. Fuck that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee. ... I watched 10 minutes. It's not my thing.”
--Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters. I couldn’t agree more. I enjoy Glee well enough (although this season has been rough), but I find myself thinking a little less of certain musicians who allow their music to be used on the show. If I had my way, they’d do almost nothing but showtunes, which showcase the cast’s talents the best and which help tell a story a whole lot better. Sorry Ryan Murphy, but I’m with Dave on this one. Stop being such a baby and taking offense when you get turned down.

“Report: Majority Of Newspapers Now Purchased By Kidnappers To Prove Date”
--The Onion makes my day.

“We call this color: I was saying Royal Blue-urns.”
--Shirt Woot, making my day with a reference only true blue-urns Simpsons fans will appreciate.

Martha: “After my character married his character, Joseph Fox, she was kidnapped, buried alive, trapped in a cave with bears, uh, kidnapped again, and held hostage in the sewers of Paris.”
Beckett: “How long were you on the show?”
Martha: “Three weeks.”
--Castle, regarding Martha's stint on a daytime soap.

“George. I choose you.”
--Mitchell on Being Human (UK), who keeps breaking my heart. I’m afraid for the rest of this season, peeps. Very afraid.

Alicia: “It’s my daughter. She thinks I drink too much.”
Kalinda: “You know what your problem is?”
Alicia: “I don’t drink enough?”
Kalinda: “You didn’t get your tubes tied.”
--The Good Wife. Word. (Sorry, Jahn, I know you like Grace.)

Alicia: “You crossed the line.”
Eli: “…Which one?”
--The Good Wife. I don’t talk about him much, but Eli Gold is one of the best characters on TV. It makes the frequent absences of Chris Noth a little easier to endure. Alan Cumming, you’re my hero. Or, as my brother would say, “Nightcrawler really deserves his own show.” Agreed.

"There's nothing clear about the air around coal."
--Probably the most prophetic and subtly pointed lines ever spoken on Justified.

Raylan: “He has had my back on two occasions. Once was the last day I was in the mine, and the other, not so long ago.”
Carol: “My, that sounds like a love story.”
--Justified, pointing out what the audience already knows. This show may be about a lot of things, but the relationship between Boyd and Raylan takes the cake.

“He will be amazing & adored, then Fox will cancel him after 14 eps.”
--Nathan Fillion, via twitter, responding to tradertiki’s comment, “My wife and I just named our son Malcolm Reynolds....”

“And all the while there was Winona's tan leather bag, brimming with stacks of smirking Benjamin Franklins, mocking us at every turn. Just sitting there. Like a bag. But it was anything but a bag. It's always fantastic when an inanimate object becomes a central character in a show or film, and halfway through the episode I wanted to punch that bag in its non-existent face or roughly pull its zipper back and forth until it caught on something and got stuck. Take that, bag!”
--Tim Surette on TV.com, expressing my thoughts toward Winona’s bag far more eloquently than I could.

“Cool. Cool. Cool, cool, cool.”
--Abed on Community, noting the awesomeness of his friends’ Pulp Fiction costumes. Cool to the fifth, really. I loved how earlier in the episode Annie had said that they’d get at least five “cools” from Abed, and then they did.

Troy [near sobbing]: “They said market price! WHAT MARKET ARE YOU SHOPPING AT?!”
--Community. I always love the little… geez, what do you call those little scenes at the end of a show that come after the narrative has already been wrapped up? Well, whatever they’re called, Community does them better than anyone. They always leave you will a hilarious little nugget to hold onto.

Oscars 2011

I don't see a whole lot of movies, so I'm not totally sure why I watch the Academy Awards every year, but I do. That said, when I say "watch," I really mean "fast-forward though 80% of it." I don't care what the name of your third cousin is or who ponied up the cash for your movie. I think it was Roger Ebert who said that winners should be able to speak as long as they want, so long as they don't thank anyone. Agreed. The worst offenders actually pulled out slips of paper. Look, I get it, you don't want to forget anyone and have them resent you for leaving them out of your list of people. Best way to avoid leaving someone off the list? Don't have a list. As such, I only listened to a handful of speeches. As soon as it became clear that they were delving into a call sheet, I zipped on by. I even get that muppet song in my head when I'm doing it... Movin' right along in search of good times and good news...

Like I said, I don't see many movies, so I'm genuinely not all that invested in who wins. Of the best picture nominees, I've seen a total of one of them. It's an easy number to keep track of. I guess, if anything, the Oscars give me a reason to add to my Netflix queue (of course, that makes them numbers 137 and up on the list, so maybe I'll see them sometime this decade). Here are some other random thoughts on the proceedings, week-in-review style:

Most Appreciated Self-Referential Moment: Anne Hathaway noting to James Franco, “You look very appealing to the younger demographic as well.”
In a year where the announcement of the hosting duties left everyone scratching their heads and scrunching their brows, it was nice to see that they weren’t even going to pretend that this was a good choice. It served one (largely unsuccessful) purpose, and that was to draw in more, and younger, viewers. Based on the ratings, things seemed to be about on par with last year when we didn’t have two random actors thrown together onstage.

Best Oscar Host (of the two that were provided): Anne Hathaway
When I first heard that she and James Franco would be hosting, I was a little befuddled. It basically sounded like the organizers had simply drawn two names at random from the “Under 35” bin and called it a day. To my surprise, Anne was much more of a delight than anticipated. She genuinely seemed to be having fun and gave the proceedings an air of casual ease. She wouldn’t exactly be my choice in the future or anything, but she was charming and funny and even managed to cover for James Franco, whom I’m willing to wager was at least tipsy.

Worst Oscar Host (not just of the two that were provided): James Franco
He was mumbly, awkward, and unfunny from start to finish. It kind of felt like Anne was on a really bad date that should couldn’t escape from through the bathroom window, so she tried to make the most of it. His comedic timing was way off, and in spite of Anne’s best of efforts to salvage jokes, everything he was in charge of fell pretty flat. In that vein, Dear Academy, men in unconvincing drag stopped being funny about 50 years ago. Ugh. It reminded me of high school, where apparently the height of humor is the football players dressing up as the cheerleaders. Wasn’t funny then, isn’t funny now. And anything that manages to remind me of high school automatically puts you on my bad list.

Best Performance By A Nonagenarian: Kirk Douglas
Sure his words were barely intelligible, he needed a cane holder, he helped lengthen an already interminable awards show, and he clearly had at least one foot in the grave, but he was still more entertaining and charming than James Franco. Melissa Leo’s reaction helped sell the bit. “You’re looking pretty good, too. What are you doing later?” Having a sponge bath and a tall glass of prune juice, I’m guessing… (And yes, I had to look up what comes after "octogenarian.")

Best Presenter: Sandra Bullock
She’s had a colossally bad year (I half expected the “In Memoriam” to include “Sandra Bullock’s Personal Life”), so to see her back on stage, looking stunning in that red dress, and presenting the Oscar with as much charm and warmth as she did was just lovely to see. Welcome back, dear. We’ve missed you.

Best Dressed (Overall): Gwyneth Paltrow
As much as it pains me to throw praise in her direction, she looked amazing in that slinky metallic grown (that she wore on the red carpet, not the one she performed in). It looked effortless, interesting, unique, and comfortable (a bunch of qualities that I don’t generally associated with Gwyneth, so the dress had to work overtime).

Best Dressed (Bun-in-the-Oven Division): Natalie Portman
It was a nice dress and all, but that it somehow managed to make her look only 6 months pregnant instead of 17 (based on how she looked last month, I feared the worst), this dress gets bumped into the upper echelon of fashion (and actual magic, near as I can tell). Most impressive.

Worst Dressed (Among So Many Other Worsts): Scarlett Johannson
Some may cry foul, saying that Cate Blanchett’s dress was worse, but I look at the total package. Cate is a tremendous actress who gave a funny and hilariously honest presentation (quipping at The Wolfman’s make-up nomination, “That’s gross,” which in that field is apparently code for “we have a winner”) who wore a quirky and interesting (if a bit ugly) dress, whereas Scarlett is a horrendous actress, a total bore, and a terrible presenter who wore a dress that’s ugly and dull. She is just awful. In everything.

Weirdest Trend: Ill-fitting Suits
Speaking of worst dressed, was there a sale of bad suits that I was not made aware of? Apparently they’re selling like hotcakes, because even the hottest men in Hollywood somehow managed to look completely awful. Jude Law’s tux looked about two sizes too small and I honestly couldn’t tell if the white tuxedos were a joke…

Person I’m Gladdest Won: Aaron Sorkin
In all honesty, I haven’t seen The Social Network yet, but I’m a Sorkin fan through-and-through. He’s all about dialogue, and that speaks to me on more than just a literal level. Even just from the clips I’ve seen of the film, it’s delightfully apparent that his razor-sharp wit and cerebral approach are present. He doesn’t dumb down his writing or appeal to the lowest common denominator. Indeed, if he has one failing, it’s knowing just how brilliant he is. His acceptance speech included more than a few thank-yous, but it also included a lot of humor and perspective. That I can handle.

Cutest Acceptance Speech: Luke Matheny for his live action short film God of Love
He was disarming and adorable and managed to be one of the few speeches I actually listened to. I love that his mom provided craft service for the film and that she got the much-deserved shout-out. And, although I’m far from a romantic, closing his speech with a love letter to his composer and the love of his life was pretty damn sweet and even elicited an uncontrollable “awww” from the audience. Especially given the cupid-y theme of his movie. How do you break up with a guy after that?

Biggest Surprise: Umm… That there weren’t any?
Seriously, the look on the favorite's face when the random underdog (*cough* Marissa Tomei *cough*) beats them is one of the biggest draws of the show. This year? No dice.

Cheesiest Time Suck: I’m sorry, why are there a bunch of kids in unfortunately colored T-shirts singing?
Heartwarming? No. Time waste-y? Yes. Seriously, I’d rather listen to people read names off scraps of paper, er… continue to listen to people read names off scraps of paper…

All in all, I'd say the best part of the evening was another Modern Family Oscar promo:



And in case you missed last year's:

About last night...

After suffering through Mercy last night, I barely had the strength to power through the rest of Wednesday's new fodder. I simply haven't the strength to give them all their due, but at least one new show has made it onto my regular schedule.

MODERN FAMILY: Easily one of the best pilots of the fall. It has a mockumentary format (sans laugh track, thankfully), but felt more like Best In Show or A Mighty Wind than The Office, like I had expected. The lack of a laugh track always make shows easier to watch, but Modern Family had enough laughs that I probably wouldn't have noticed it. The show is quirky and light but definitely has an inappropriateness to it that I definitely enjoyed. It could have been your standard, tacky, cheesy, family sit-com, but the writers took it in a very different, and superior direction. I'm not sure what kind of long term potential it has at this point, but I'm confident the writers will make it work. It's not often that new comedies make it onto my rotation (what with them generally sucking and all), but I'm happily adding Modern Family and Community to my list. Both are definitely worth your time. I'm not married and I don't have kids (nor do I generally enjoy watching sit coms about either), but Modern Family totally makes it work. Pilot Grade: B+

COUGAR TOWN: I have to admit, it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I expected. I know, I know, I'm as shocked as you are. I'm not saying it was good, but I went in expecting it to be eye-gougingly painful and it was actually kind of watchable. I probably won't be tuning in again next week, but the pilot wasn't as train wrecky as it could have been, especially given the premise. Although I found Courtney Cox's portrayal of a recently divorced 40 something woman to be forced, over-eager, and desperate, she actually kinda sorta made it work. By all accounts, I should have hated every minute, but leave it to Courtney to make an annoying, whiny, neurotic nut-bag kind of likable. Overall, it was definitely heavy-handed and isn't the kind of show I'd be eager to see week-to-week, but no where near as off-putting as expected. I'm not sure exactly what demographic they're aiming for, but somehow the show pulled huge ratings with its premiere. It didn't suck me in, and I have little desire to watch Cox make an idiot of herself every week, but at the same time, I don't think it would appeal to an older demographic either. I expect the week two ratings will be considerably lower, and for as "not as awful as expected, though still not very good" as it was, I won't be sad to see it slip. If you happen to be a huge Courtney Cox fan or if you have figured out what demographic this show appeals to and happen to be a part of it, I guess you could give this one a shot... At least the clothes were cute? Pilot Grade: C

EASTWICK: I'm not even sure where to start with this one. It's kind of like Desperate Housewives meets Charmed. Bear in mind, I was never a big fan of either of those shows. The writers were clearly aiming for a quirky, light-hearted, magical romp, but it didn't strike a chord with me at all. I spent the better part of the pilot wishing it would just hurry and end. The writing was cheesy and uninspired, the acting was iffy, and the whole concept just kind of fell flat for me. I can see where there might be an audience out there that would totally love this show, but I was bored, bored, bored from minute one. The pilot just didn't really seem to have a whole lot of focus or drive and while a whole lot of things happened, it just didn't feel like they were really getting anywhere. Add to that the lingering instances of painful, painful, painful and you can see where this one won't be making it into my rotation. I'm generally quite a fan of the supernatural and the sudsy, but Eastwick sucked the life out of both. I can't even really quantify how and why exactly, but this pilot that should have been fanciful and fun managed to bore from beginning to end. It certainly didn't do it for me, but I can see where there might be some lonely, unicorn-loving people out there that might enjoy this... Pilot Grade: D+

ABC Pilots: Volume 2

I don't know exactly what ABC's schedule looks like for next year (they're so thoroughly subject to change that I don't generally bother until the time comes--plus, with the DVR, it doesn't really matter), but, given the sheer (shear?) volume, I have to assume that several of their pilots will premiere at midseason... It's looking like V, Deep End, and Happy Town will all start up around January. I am finally, finally, finally getting around to the rest of ABC's lineup. I tried to coax Annie into taking the reins on these, but she had a lot of non-wedding anniversary stuff to take care of...

At any rate, the rest of the contenders (those who weren't included in volume 1) are as follows:

THE FORGOTTEN


My Take: Well, right off the bat, for a show with as serious a subject matter as this, it seems pretty spectacularly cheesetastic... although I suppose that's a natural extension of earnest self-importance... It's honestly kind of difficult to even assess this kind of show after a while. This is an admittedly different angle on the procedural, but I'm not sure it's an improvement. Although the approach is a bit different, the end result and ultimate goals are still largely the same. This puts a bit more focus on identifying the victim than your usual crime show, but I don't think that's enough to re-invent this particular wheel. The victim's voice-over didn't really work for me and I'm hoping that was for the sake of the pilot and not an ongoing motif, but I'm guessing I'm wrong. In all honesty, this show will look a hell of a lot different when it actually becomes a series. Several cast changes have already been made, including the lead, and not for the better... Hot off the ignominious failure that was My Own Worst Enemy, Christian Slater will play Alex Donovan, a former lawman who heads up the "Identity Network" (which sounds more like a social networking site than a super-duper crime fighting team to me). The role was filled in the pilot by British actor Rupert Penry-Jones (BBC's Spooks). Also, the role of Linda is being recast as well. She was played in the pilot by Reiko Aylesworth from 24. Anyway, when major cast shake-ups occur, usually the whole entity undergoes some serious changes, so I expect this will turn into something quite different than what we're seeing now. Given the changes so far, and the fact that Jerry Bruckheimer has his sticky fingers involved, I'm afraid the changes won't be for the better.

Bottom Line? I think this is going to be yet another derivative crime procedural in an already overcrowded sea of derivative crime procedurals. I'll give it a shot, but I think my quota has already been filled.

V


My Take: I have to say, of all the pilots coming out this fall, V looks like it has the most potential for awesomeness. This series is based on a miniseries from the 80s that has a fairly substantial cult following. I never actually saw the miniseries, so I'll be embarking into this territory without any pre-conceived notions. Not only does the concept have a lot of potential, but the show boasts a pretty impressive cast thus far. Elizabeth Mitchell (of Lost fame) is headlining the show and she is joined by various Whedon alums who play fellow FBI peeps and aliens alike. The giant face in the sky belongs to Morena Baccarin (aka Inara from Firefly) and I believe that was Alan Tudyk playing one of Mitchells FBI comrades (I've heard conflicting information about his involvement in the show, but I'm wagering he'll be at least a recurring character, if not a regular). At first, it has an unfortunate Independence Day vibe, but fortunately said vibe was stolen from much better source materials, so I'm confident V will hold its own and avoid any and all Will Smith-related comparisons (I've only seen the trailer and can tell you it deserves much better). It may just be the sci-fi geek inside me, but I'm kinda sorta totally stoked to see Morena and company lull humanity into a stupor of admiration and devotion and then destroy the whole lot... Call me crazy, but that sounds like a grand old time. :) Sci-fi has had a hard run over the past few years, so I'm hoping to hell this show really knocks it out of the park and finds a following right quick. ABC has a better track record for such feats than, say, I don't know, Fox, so with any luck, it shouldn't be a problem. V will premiere at midseason, presumably after Lost's final season premiere.

Bottom Line? The whole affair looks solid from beginning to end. I've always enjoyed a show that appeals to a cult following. Add that to my Whedon devotion and the glowing reviews I've come across so far and I suspect this will feature prominently in my top tier. It looks to be a slick production from people who know what they're doing, so I'm confident it will handled in the right way. I kinda can't wait. :) Scott Wolf notwithstanding.

MODERN FAMILY


My Take: You know, at first glance, I assumed it would be awful, but it actually looks pretty decent. Good, I dare say. It's not often that a promo alone is enough to elicit even a smile from me, but the preview for Modern Family was actually pretty funny here and there. The single camera style is pretty much the norm these days and as far as I'm concerned, is totally welcomed. Anything that means there's no laugh track and I'm on board. I can't help but to think if Arrested Development had come out this year, it would have done oh-so-much better. Anyway, in kind of a similar vein, Modern Family is delightfully disfunctional (rather than desperately, laboriously disfunctional, which is so often the case). I'm not completely sold on the show, what with my hatred for children on TV and all, but this one seems to be hitting a much funnier and more enjoyable note than most. The scene on the plane really cracked me up. It just so simple and yet effective and funny to have the baby holding actual cream puffs that I couldn't help but to smile. And offering to pay for everyone's headsets? Perfect.

Bottom Line? When I first heard about this one, I assumed it would be your standard family comedy, but I'm very pleased to see that it has a lot more edge and a lot better approach than the crap that's currently out there. There aren't a lot of comedies that really strike the right chord with me, but, shocked as I am, I think Modern Family might just hit the right note. As long as it steers clear of the usual cliches and keeps an inappropriate edge, I think it'll work. Here's hoping.

THE MIDDLE


My Take: You know those standard, un-funny family comedies I mentioned in the Modern Family discussion? Yeah... The Middle is one of those. This show just appears to be trying so very hard to be funny that it totally isn't. The whole "haggard mother who doesn't know what happened to her life" routine is pretty played out (not that I cared to watch it the first 874 times) and I have the slightest tendency to completley loathe Patricia Heaton, so this one was off-putting from the get-go. It was a very short clip, but somehow way too long all at the same time. This show really doesn't seem to be up my alley or worth my time. When I saw that it was billed as "a sitcom about a Midwestern family living middle-American values," I pretty much knew it wasn't going to be love at first sight. I'd have lemon-lawed this sucker in seconds.

Bottom Line? I'll pass, thanks. I don't have children, don't want to have children, and don't need this show to remind me of just how much I don't want to have children in order to not have children. Blah.

HANK


My Take: The dreaded laugh track... It's annoying on principle, but when applied to something that doesn't actually elicit any laughing, it basically shines a spotlight on the un-funniness. Ugh. I generally quite enjoy Kelsey Grammer and adored the first several seasons of Frasier, but with this new gig, Grammer doesn't appear to have found his footing or really created a character. I realize that generally takes more than just a pilot to establish, but it was still kind of painful to see him so out of depth. It's not like it's the kind of role he couldn't handle, he just, well... didn't. The dialogue was clunky and forced, the jokes were ham-fisted, and the laugh track helped show me where the writers actually thought they were being funny, but totally weren't. It's the kind of concept that could work, if standard sitcom fare is your game, but I'm underwhelmed. And a little in pain.

Bottom Line? Well, um... it's good to see he's getting work? Ugh. It would take a whole hell of a lot to make this work and from what I've seen and read, it ain't gonna happen.

THE DEEP END




My Take: Well, show for show, this baby has more "oh hey, it's that guy!" than just about any other I've come across. Teeming with people who have been in a bunch of other stuff can be a detriment at times, but none of these were real headliners in previous projects, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem. Was that Billy Zane? He kind of fell of the planet… or should I say, into “the deep end”! Oy. Sorry, couldn’t resist. Anyway, this looks like kind of a throw back to legal shows of the late 90s, so I’m feeling a bit nostalgic. The tone looks to be more lighthearted than your usual hard-hitting drama, but toward the end of the preview, they seemed to be trying to walk the comedy/drama line and, sadly, not walking it very well. It has your standard legal show clichés and stereotypical characters, but that’s not to say it doesn’t have promise. There’s a reason that formula is so popular, after all. I’m just afraid that it won’t be able to really make its own mark and will lose my attention before I can really get invested. I adore Tina Majorino (she was one of the many wonderful aspects of Veronica Mars), but her character seems to be particularly (and intentionally) annoying, and not in a charming way, so that’s a downer. The rest of the cast appears to be decent enough and suitably charming for this kind of set up, so if the writers play their cards right, I don’t see why this couldn’t be a nice little genre piece. Taken in the wrong direction, and it could just be a derivative mess. Only time will tell.

Bottom Line? I’m not over the moon for this one, but it doesn’t look awful… yet. There were certain aspects to the preview that rubbed me the wrong way, but it looks watchable overall. I don’t think it’d ever be a first tier contender, but hopefully it’s good enough to grace the second.