CBS Upfronts: More of the Same

When it comes to CBS, there are generally very, very few surprises. They have a brand, and with a few rare exceptions, they stick to it. As sick to death as I am of crime procedurals and cop shows, it's hard to argue with their results. Network for network, they have the most consistently successful slate of scripted programming out there. Sure the network skews older in general, but when they end up canceling shows that get ratings other networks would salivate over (*cough* NBC *cough*), it's clear that their tactics are working. Seriously, they could have pretty much renewed their entire slate and it would have been a solid business decision. Not a sound creative decision, but alas, when was the last time anyone in network TV cared about quality anyways?

There were very few surprises overall. The only news that really caught my attention was the fact that The Good Wife is moving to Sunday nights (i.e. the night I've thought the show should air since day 1). I guess in this one sense, the network really did make a vote for quality over ratings. In terms of the key demo, The Good Wife has always been a little worrisome to me. Its overall numbers are great, but it certainly skews older. For this reason, there were some TV ratings watchers out there who put The Good Wife on the bubble. I guess if that's the only factor you're looking at, sure, that makes sense. In terms of every other factor, I was never very worried.

SHOWS NOT RETURNING NEXT SEASON:

• Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior
  I realize that procedual spin-offs are CBS's bread and butter, but seriously, if there were ever a show that wasn't begging for a spin-off, it was Criminal Minds. The show has been on for 6 years now and has basically investigated every conceivable type of murder. That said, I'm still a casual viewer of the original, but could never even kind of care about the spin-off. Forest Whitaker may be an award-winning actor, but I couldn't stand him. To boot, the rest of the cast was nothing to write home about either. Geez, never would I have guessed that the original was so popular because of the great ensemble cast, but here we are. This spin-off never really worked and it won't be missed.
  
  
• Mad Love
  Uh, was I asleep when this was on? I don't even remember it. I'm pretty sure I never even watched the pilot... Well, whatever it was, it no longer is.
  
  
• The Defenders
  I only ever saw the first episode or two, but it was harmless enough. On another network, its ratings might have given it a shot, but at CBS, it didn't stand a chance.
  
  
• $H*! My Dad Says
  I think I speak for all television bloggers when I think the gods that I'll never again have to type that title. Or see the show.

SHOWS THAT WILL BE RETURNING:

• The Amazing Race
  
  
• The Big Bang Theory
  
  
• Blue Bloods
  I have to admit, this was a bit of a surprise. With schedule real estate at a premium, this one could have gone either way. I think keeping it was a good call. The show itself started off strong, then got pretty lame and generic, but it holds its own in a very difficult timeslot (Fridays are no one's friend, not even Tom Selleck), so in spite of lackluster ratings, it was a good call to keep it.
  
  
• Criminal Minds
  It's long in the tooth, but I still enjoy it well enough. Even better? Our good friend JJ has officially returned (take that new blonde!) and odds are Prentiss will be back at some point as well. As far as I know, Paget Brewster's new pilot is a no-go, so she's available. It should be pretty bitchin' to see the other characters' reactions to her return from the dead. They could do a lot of interesting things with that. Still up in the air? Thomas Gibson is still in contract negotiations, so whether or not Hotch comes back next year is up for grabs. My guess is, he'll be back.
  
  
• CSI, CSI: NY, and CSI: Miami
  The unholy trinity will all be back, although CSI has been bumped from its cushy timeslot. Why, it's almost as though the brass at CBS have noticed that it and its ratings kinda suck.
  
  
• The Good Wife
  I've already sung this show's praises, but I can't tip my hat to CBS enough for this show. It's beyond shocking that a show of this quality exists on network TV at all, but the fact that it's on CBS of all networks is astounding. Who'd have guessed? And lest you're one of those people who think it's a show for old people or for Lifetime viewers who got lost, Todd VanDerWerff with AV Club wrote a wonderful piece on the show heralding it as a worthy successor to The Wire (aka the most critically acclaimed television show I've ever come across). He sums up the show's qualities far better than I ever could. Kudos, CBS. Nice job. Also, I'll probably never find the time to write up my thoughts on the finale, but I loved it. $7800? Worth. Every. Penny.
  
  
• Hawaii Five-O
  I gave up on this sucker, but apparently most people stuck with it. It's fate was never in doubt. Not that I follow this show or anything, but I hear that Masi Oka has been made a series regular for next year, in case anyone cares.
  
  
• How I Met Your Mother
  Oh, good god. This season actually started off very promisingly, but ultimately fell apart. By the time we wound down to the final few episodes, I was so annoyed and bored that I could barely keep going. I held on through the finale to see who was getting married (which they'd been teasing since the first episode, if I recall correctly) only to find it was Barney and... yeah, no, they didn't reveal who the bride was. Back in the day, these little teases and mysteries were fun. Now they just piss me off. I'm done, thanks. We're breaking up over the summer.
  
  
• The Mentalist
  I haven't watched this show in ages, but in light of the total lack of anything else new last night, I tuned in for the finale, having been promised that Jane would finally confront Red John. To my surprise, it was actually pretty entertaining. They seem to have realized that Jane was annoying as hell most of the time and have toned that down considerably. Most important though, Red John was played by Bradley Whitford, who is practically perfect in every way. The confrontation was quietly intense and the final moments were shocking, if not entirely surprising. Jane has been saying he'd kill Red John the minute he got the chance, so to see him follow through with that promise, killing a man in the middle of a mall, no less, was pretty dramatic. I'm actually pretty intrigued by how they're going to handle Jane's new status as murderer, so maybe I'll just swap out HIMYM for The Mentalist for a spell. See how that goes.
  
  
• Mike & Molly
  
  
• NCIS and NCIS: Los Angeles
  
  
• Rules of Engagement
  
  
• Two and a Half Men
  Ugh. Even if Ashton somehow made this show 800% better, it would still be unwatchable. I still can't believe anyone watches this shit. I was very hopeful that Charlie's departure would signal the end, but instead, it simply put this crap factory in the media even more. Here's hoping it dies a swift death.