And the gold medal for Shuffleboard goes to...

I have long been a fan of the Olympics, but there are certain aspects of the games that kind of drive me nuts. Especially the Winter Olympics. And while I'd love to blame all Olympic FAILs on NBC, that saddest of networks only bears about 65% of the blame. In spite of certain shortcomings, I still totally love the competition (even with of my general lack of sportiness thrown into the mix) and the excitement (although I could definitely do without ever hearing a crowd chant "U-S-A!!!!!!!" ever again--the world already hates us, people, we do not need a chant to remind them of this fact).

Here are my random musings on the games:

**The new scoring system has largely ruined figure skating...
For as far back as I can remember, figure skating (and gymnastics, for the Summer Olympics) has always been a bright spot of the Winter Olympics. I'm generally more interested and invested in sports that require some sort of artistry (diving, ice dancing, synchronized swimming, trampolining, etc) and figure skating generally held the gold standard for the fusion of athleticism and creativity. Nowadays? Not so much. Not that I don't enjoy putting my joint MIT degrees in theoretical physics and advanced mathematics to use when figuring out if a skating routine should win or not, but, oh wait, I don't. The figure skating competition has gone from having a well choreographed, cohesive routine that actual had a focus and meaning and turned it into a mad rush to fulfill required elements and rack up as many points as possible in a very short amount of time. Beyond that, you either have to be omniscient or have slow-motion replay of every element in order to determine if the competitor's foot was more than a quarter turn off her line at the time she landed. You think I'm exaggerating? Oh, how I wish I were. The judges literally look at the foot placement of every landing to determine if a jump should be downgraded or points deducted and if the foot is even slightly beyond a quarter turn, it doesn't matter how beautiful the jump was or how well it fit into the routine, it gets knocked. It's just plain silly. Even the most artistic of skaters has a hell of a time fitting in anything but the required elements. My darling Johnny Weir and other skaters who are more accustomed to putting together an artistic, comprehensive program rather than a jumping match suffer the most under the new system. It doesn't matter that he delivered two clean routines that actually managed to have some artistry and flare (in spite of restrictions), he gets judged in a very cold, clinical way that leads to a sixth place finish. The new system was instituted to dispense with the subjectivity of judging in the past, and while I appreciate that that was a problem, it was a problem that I thoroughly enjoyed watching and discussing. Back in the day, it actually mattered if the audience and judges connected with a routine. It was fine if one routine were a little more difficult if was also better choreographed and performed. Now? It just doesn't matter. You can fall flat on your face and have no grace or personality whatsoever and still excel. I totally grant that there were some judging blunders made and that some truly terrible calls have led to some skaters getting screwed, but at least people cared. Quite frankly, I thoroughly enjoyed the corruption. It made for scandal and intrigue in a sport that no one should really care about. It made the whole ordeal that much more fun to talk about and discuss. People knew when scores were undeserved and loved talking about how their favorite team got robbed. Under the new regime, all routines look basically the same and you need to be a mathematician to tell the difference. No one really cares if one skater gets gold and another silver because the audience has no idea who did a better job. I miss caring. I miss having even the foggiest of ideas who should win and who shouldn't. I miss the artistry. Not only do all skaters have to do certain required elements, but more and more, they do all these required elements in the exact same order. I have found that I fast-forward through routines (especially the long program, which should be renamed "the painfully long, nigh interminable" program) and basically just tuning in to see results. Johnny Weir was one of the few male skaters to have interesting routines and he was swiftly punished for it. The think tank at NASA may not like Johnny's skating, but the audience certainly does. The boos and whistles at his low scores felt a little vindicating, but I think it was the crown of roses that managed to make things right with the world. Hats off to Evan for the win, but I wish it had been Johnny instead. Skating to Lady Gaga... Also, for all of Plushenko's caterwauling about how he would have won under the old system, I have to point out that the reason the system was changed was because of, wait for it, the Russians cheating on the pairs outcome in 2002. No one but your homeland to blame, Yevgeny.

**You can try to convince me all you want that Curling is a sport, but until Shuffleboard, Croquet, and Hopscotch make their Olympic debuts, I ain't buying it...
Curling is a game. Plain and simple. The round-the-clock coverage of Curling on CNBC and MSNBC may try to convince me otherwise, but in fact, they've been having the opposite effect. I tune in, thinking that maybe, just maybe, this time I'll find Curling to even kind of sort of resemble a sport, and every time, I have visions of retirees playing Shuffleboard on the deck of a cruise ship. I'm sure there's some skill involved and I'm sure it takes a long time to be good at Curling, but the same goes for Chess or Poker. Quite frankly, I would much rather watch a game of Croquet. I'd say Croquet and Hopscotch are on a par with Curling physically, but are a hell of a lot more fun to watch. Some people seem fascinated by Curling, and that's cool, but it still doesn't make it an Olympic sport. As I watch the oftentimes old, unathletic, occasionally doughy curlers on the ice, I just can't believe this game is an Olympic sport at all, let alone that it gets hours upon hours of coverage (albeit cable). In related news, I've tried to watch Curling several times and still have no clue in hell how it's played. Between the sweeping and the standing around, there just seems to be way too much excitement going on for anyone to take the time to explain how the play.

**I realize I'm from America, but that doesn't mean I only want to see Americans competing in events where Americans might win more American medals...
Dear NBC, the Olympics are about people from all over the globe coming together in competition. I DO NOT want to watch coverage that only sporadically focuses on athletes who aren't American. It seems to get worse with each passing Olympics. I don't know if it's just American arrogance at work or if the brass at NBC really don't think other athletes matter or what, but I'd like to see events that have no viable American contenders and I don't need to see the ice dancing routine of some random couple of skaters just because they're American. Seriously, I'd rather see the kickass competitors from Norway who finished 6th (or whatever) than the mediocre American team that finished 17th. Or, better yet, stop covering Curling (see above) and show more of each competition. Oh, doing away with meaningless qualifying rounds would help as well (you know, not like the quaterfinals or anything, but like the initial qualifying round where they start winnowing down the 137 competitors). I could also live without ever seeing Apolo Ohno ever do anything ever again. Oy. Also, showing mostly Americans just leads to even more showing of jackasses chanting "U-S-A!" and being generally obnoxious to the people around them. It's embarrassing enough without the more overt hubris. (On a related note, if you insist on showing up to an event shirtless with body paint, please have a nice body. There simply isn't enough eye bleach to go around...)

**This isn't really the Olympics' fault, but nonetheless, my mother can't remember anyone's name so I have to give them all ridiculous nicknames... which is kind of fun, but also kind of taxing...
My mother is adorable, but I'm quite frankly running out of nicknames for athletes. Most of them I just have to give a brief description of who they are (by which I mean a complete delineation of their entire history as an athlete) and hope it rings a bell. The ones that have a good nickname are certainly easier to keep track of. Evan Lysacek is called Superman because he kind of looks like Superman, but more because of the way he slicks his hair for competition, but not in real life (and quite frankly, after how gracefully and coolly he handled Plushenko's comments, he really is a super man). Plushenko is affectionately called "The Russian Mullet" for obvious reasons. Johnny Weir is called The Fabulous Johnny Weir and that seems to clear up all confusion. Other skaters have less-than-flattering nicknames... I'm none too fond of Rachel Flatt's skating or her style, so she's subject more than a few. The fact that she can't seem to find tights that even kind of match her skin tone and insists on having a bump-it style hairdo are the basis for most... Lindsay Vonn is simply The Blonde and Julia Mancuso rather thankfully dons a tiara, so she's particularly easy to keep track of. Which, I have to say, the US has some seriously attractive athletes at the games this year. When the skiers are about to start their runs, they have a picture of them with their names and half the American team look like head shots for a casting agent. Kind of bizarre... Anyway, if anyone knows of an easier way to keep track of athletes, I'd love to hear it because frankly, a lot of these people are pretty nondescript. "Wait, which one was he?" "Uh, you know, he's the, uh, guy with the... skis..." Not helpful.

**When 1st and 17th place are separated by less than a second, it dawns on my just how stupid a lot of this is...
I rather enjoy watching the downhill racing (and to a lesser extent, the speed skating), but it kills me when the commentators are like, "Ooooh! Random L. Skier got off to an incredibly slow start and is currently two-tenths back! My god, how will he ever make up such a deficit?!" Seriously? Two-tenths of a second? Or worse, one event that I saw, the top 7 or 8 finishers were separated by about two-tenths total. Which means gold, silver, and bronze were separated by a few hundredths of a second. I guess in skiing that's like an eternity or something, but it just seems stupid to me. Don't get me wrong, it's still fun and exciting to watch, but I kind of have to forget how minute the differences are to really take it seriously. I'd much rather watch downhill than cross-country though. For as stupid as hundredths of a second making the difference is, it's still better than sports where you can't get more than one competitor in the frame at one time. "Nesbit is in the lead, but Johannsen is right on his heels!" "That's right, Dan, Johannsen made some huge strides in that last mile and half and is only 12 minutes off the leader. Amazing." It may be amazing, but it's not all that much fun to watch...

Anyway, I'm hanging in there, but I'm kind of wishing TV would hurry and come back. Seriously, aside from USA Network offering new programming (god bless you, network), there has been nothing on opposite the Olympics. Which means that I have a hell of a time building up a cushion before watching the Olympics and I think we all know that there's a lot of filler to fast-forward through. And bobsledding. Which the Canadians call "bobsleigh." How cute is that? It's like if Santa were an Olympic athlete... Wait, no, having watched some Curling, I think we all know a "sport" at which he could really excel...

Come back, TV. Come back... :(

TV's Inner Circle + 1 (ME!)

As is clearly evident by the focus of this blog, TV is a fairly large part of my life. I troll the interwebs in search of TV-related information and televisually kindred spirits on a fairly regular basis. There are several gossip columns that I follow, more than a few spoiler sites that keep me informed, and assorted sites focuses on ratings and industry news that round out my regular rotations. For far too long these entities have seemed like unreachable celebrities who would not deign to entertain the meager hopes and dreams of a minor leaguer such as myself... but not anymore!

It's truly sad just how giddy I am to report the following news, but said giddiness means I can't bring myself to stop typing, or by extension, my complete and total lameness. Henceforth, here we go!

I've written questions to my peeps (read: random gossip columnists who couldn't care less about my existence) on various occasions, but have never seen them posted in their respective columns. Michael and Kristin have both heartlessly ignored my queries. I assumed that was simply par for the course and did my best to move on with my life, even giving up on sending them anything [insert sad Charlie Brown music]. I figured, "It's not them, it's me..." and tried to let it go [and by "it" I mean my hopes, dreams, and aspirations in life--no biggie].

Well, as it turns out, it is most certainly was NOT me! Oh yeah, it was them all along!

Not one week after writing to TV's Guide's Matt Roush (as I described to Annie, "THE Matt Roush!" Thanks again for the feigned enthusiasm, Annie. The feigning was only mostly perceptible) did he post my query in his column and provide a response in the Ask Matt section. It's beyond embarrassing how much I geeked out over the following, but what the hell. (I figure my geekiness reached a critical mass somewhere in the nineties, so at this point, what's the difference.)

• Question: I have followed your column for a very long time and have found that we generally have pretty similar taste in shows. Most recently, I’d like to thank you for recommending the hilariously ribald BBC America comedy The Inbetweeners. It’s because of this that I’m so perplexed by your recommendation of the CW’s newest drama, Life Unexpected. I started watching the show expecting a return to the glory days of the WB (Gilmore Girls and Everwood were staples in my routine), but was instead met with a cast of thoroughly unlikable characters stuck in a cheesy and predictable set-up. The pilot was decent, and had a few moments that almost grabbed me, but the best events were undercut by maudlin self-importance and terrible writing. As Lux is about to blow out her birthday candles and is told she needs to blow them all out or her wish wouldn’t come true, I couldn’t help but wince when she actually said, “I think it already has.” I saw it coming a mile away, but that didn’t make it any less painful.
  
  I had high hopes that subsequent episodes would temper the ridiculousness of the conceit (the writers for this show don’t seem to have a very close relationship with reality, especially legal reality), an improvement in the writing, and that the characters would grow on me, but much to my chagrin, the writing has only gotten worse and the characters haven’t gotten any more likable. Shiri Appleby’s portrayal of Cate is so shrill and annoying that it overshadows the more tolerable aspects of the cast. All in all, I’m extremely disappointed with this predictable, largely irritating, generic addition to the CW’s slate and can’t understand where so many critics have fallen in love with it. Am I missing something? Is there some secret appeal to this show that I’m not seeing? And most importantly, does it get better? I don’t typically give up on a show after only three episodes, but for this mess, I might have to make an exception. —Lacy
  
  Matt Roush: To date, I’ve only seen the same three episodes you have, so I guess this is a case where we’ll have to agree to disagree. Many of the reviews and much of the mail I’m seeing on this show reflect a willingness to embrace it for being a big step in the right direction—at least tonally—for the CW after several years of cynical missteps with soapy retreads and a steep and seemingly irreversible decline for the former signature show that was Gossip Girl. If Life Unexpected occasionally errs on the side of schmaltz, I can live with that. And I’m not pretending it’s an instant top-10 contender the way Gilmore Girls was at its peak. I worry that they will make Lux too much the precocious know-it-all who’s more grown-up than her screwed-up biological parents, but I like the fact that their lives are so messy. If there’s room for improvement, there’s also time.

That's ME! I'm that Lacy!

I'm so happy [in Kuzco voice].

As Annie can attest, as I giddily shrieked over the cubicle wall at like 8 o'clock in the morning, my response was, well... enthusiastic. I have long followed Matt's column, so I was a wee bit star struck (if you look on the back of your season 1 Chuck DVDs, Matt Roush (my Matt Roush) is quoted--oh yeah, he's a big wig). I tried to keep cool (very casually mentioning to Annie that my question had been posted and then actually waiting for her to obligatorily ask for the link (all the while my hand is poised over the send button... "What's that you say? You'd like me to send you a link? Oh, I suppose...") but in my head, in thinking of my new relationship with Matt, it was a conga line of, "Oh my god! It's like we're best friends!"

Rest assured, I'm coherent enough to realize that we are not, and if I engage in any more posturing, I suspect a restraining order will be acquired, but from 500 yards, I'd say he and I are pretty tight these days.

What can I say? It's nice to know there are people out there who think about these things as much as I do. I'm pretty sure that's at least one horseman of the apocalypse, but I don't care. I'm going to go pretend I have an actual friendship with these people and wile away the hours in blissful oblivion.

I suggest you join me.

All the cool kids are doing it...

The Countdown to Slaughterama

Although networks won't officially unveil their fall line-ups for next year until May, shows are already being picked up and axed. This early in the season, networks generally do a lot more picking up than axing, but based on ratings, public interest, and buzz, it's pretty easy to tell where some shows are headed. Here's how things are shaping up so far:

SHOWS THAT HAVE BEEN OFFICIALLY PICKED UP FOR ANOTHER SEASON:

• Sons of Anarchy
• Dark Blue (It's not a great show, but its first season was pretty decent. I think it has potential to grow, so in spite of lackluster ratings, I'm glad to see TNT is giving this one another chance. It's a testament to just how little TNT has going for it that this got picked up. TNT wishes it were USA, but it just isn't. Too bad, so sad.)
• The Doctors
• Stargate: Universe (Bob, this one's for you.)
• Sanctuary (Oh wait, so is this one. People will think it's your birthday!)
• White Collar (This show started off a little rough for me, but it has gotten oh-so-much better. The writers seemed to have nailed down what exactly it is they're trying to do and it's all working much better. It's taking a beating from Lost at the moment, but it's generally a solid performer for USA. It got an early renewal after only a few episodes, so I think it's safe to say the network is fully behind it. Oh, and another season of watching Matt Bomer do just about anything? Yes, please.)
• Cougar Town (Which received an early second season pick-up AND an additional 2 episodes for the current season.)
• Modern Family (Yay!)
• The Middle (Gag!)
• Glee (Back to yay!)
• Secret Life of the American Teenager (I really wish ABC Family would just stop trying. My only experience with this piece of teen angsty shit is via The Soup, and believe me, I enjoy unintentionally funny as much as the next person, but this show is just beyond painful. Why are you watching this show, humanity? Why?)
• Make It Or Break It (See previous comments, add gymnasts, er... "gymnasts")
• NCIS: Los Angeles (Yet another show that no one should be watching, only violenter.)
• The Good Wife (A show I'm actually exited about! What a nice change of pace. This show started off strong and has only gotten stronger. I'm really loving this show. The legal A-plots are well-done and entertaining and most importantly, seem to have working knowledge of the law, which is nice--unlike ABC's abysmal The Deep End, which will soon be cancelled.)
• Men of a Certain Age (Yet another example of how desperate TNT is... this show's ratings are not good, but when you've got nothing else, apparently Ray Romano is the last resort.)
• Robot Chicken
• Survivor
• The Amazing Race
• How I Met Your Mother (This season hasn't been all that spectacular, but it's still a solid contender and I'm thrilled it'll be back. I like to think this show received a "suit-up" rather than a "pick-up" simply because it makes me smile.)
• Teen Mom
• Parks and Recreation (I don't watch the show, but I'm thrilled by the pick-up. Why you ask? That would be because its ratings are lower than Community's ratings, so the fact that Parks and Rec was picked up means Community almost certainly will as well. Stranger things have happened (especially on NBC), but for people with a reasonable grasp of reality, this is a very good sign)
• Cake Boss
• Big Love

SHOWS THAT HAVE BEEN OFFICIALLY AXED:

• The Bonnie Hunt Show (Surely there's someone out there who's mourning this loss... No? Okeedokee, moving on...)
• As the World Turns (After 112 years, this one is finally being laid to rest.)
• The Tyra Show (It's about damn time! I don't know what The Soup is going to do without this trainwreck to rely on... Oh wait, Jersey Shore will be back next year. Phew, that was close.)
• Rita Rocks (I'm, uh... heartbroken...)
• Head Case
• Ugly Betty (This one is officially coming to an end after this season (which has been shortened by 2 episodes). I'm hearing Happy Town will premiere in its place after the final in April. I've also heard that it will get an actual ending, so if there are any fans out there (and according to the show's ratings, I mean both of you), it will end its run in proper fashion (no pun intended)).

From here on out, this is all speculation. I keep track of ratings, trends, and network tendencies to an embarrassing degree, so the following assertions are educated, but by no means finite or legally binding. Some I hope I'm wrong, others I hope to hell I'm right. Please do not base your upcoming life decisions on my recommendations (even if I certainly will be). And as always, I don't include the obvious pick-ups like House, The Big Bang Theory, Grey's Anatomy, NCIS, or American Idol.

SHOWS THAT WILL GET PICKED UP:

• Castle (Much to my delight, I think Castle is a lock for next season. The network brass had more than a few good things to say about the show and its performance at the recent TCA conference and are especially pleased with how it performs in repeats (far better than most). Add to that the vote of confidence given with the request for two additional season 2 episodes and the fact that it will get a shot after Desperate Housewives for a week (the powers that be want to give it a shot after a scripted drama rather than reality crap for once--a very good sign) and I think it's safe to say the show will be back again next year. On top of all that, its ratings have been rising week-to-week and it's only a matter of time before it gets an official pick-up. Yay! It's so nice to see Cap'n Hammer on a show that isn't being cancelled. For once.)
• Community (As I already mentioned earlier, Parks and Rec received a pick-up and its ratings are lower than Community's (even though Community airs in a much more competitive timeslot). Add to that the fact that NBC is scrambling for programming thanks to its self-imposed late night debacle and the network really doesn't have a whole lot of other options. They have requested 3 additional scripts for the show (to help fill the void) and I think it's in very good position for a second season. Half-hour comedies generally have to go in pairs and they're cheap to produce, so I don't see any reason they'd drop it. Although, knowing NBC, anything can happen. Blah.)
• Chuck (I was going to put Chuck in the bubble category, but I'm going out of a limb and saying it'll get picked up. As mentioned, NBC is kind of scrambling these days and they need all the programming they can get. The show has been holding pretty steady at pretty decent (though not spectacular) ratings and I think the network knows the show has the public behind it all the way. This season has been awesome thus far and shows a lot of promise for the future. Most importantly, in spite of a much tougher timeslot, Chuck is doing considerably better than Heroes in the ratings department. NBC doesn't have a leg to stand on regarding Heroes these days (it's key demo ratings are abysmal ), so if they don't cancel it, all bets are off. Even hard core fans have been calling for its end, so I can't imagine even NBC could be that obtuse. Most importantly, this is good news for Chuck, so burn, Heroes, burn! More on that later...)
• Accidentally on Purpose (I can't believe I'm putting this turkey in the pick-up section, but I think it's going to survive. A few months ago, I would have said there wasn't a chance, but its ratings have been improving and the network seems to like the pairing with How I Met Your Mother. I hope to hell I'm wrong on this one, but I think Jenna Elfman and her awful dog and pony show is going to make the cut.)
• Life Unexpected (For as underwhelmed as I was by this show, it's still one of the best shows on the CW (which ain't saying much). It's ratings are solid by CW standards and there's no threat of it being cancelled. Even if the ratings take a bit of a dive, it'll still be picked up.
• The Vampire Diaries (I'm almost certain this show has already gotten a second season pick-up, but if not, it certainly will. And should. This one started off a little cornball for me, but it has gotten pretty damn awesome. Ian Somerhalder is still far and away the best part of the show, but the rest of the players have grown on me. It's also gotten to the guilty pleasure point in its life and I'm alllll about that.)
• Gossip Girl (With sagging ratings and lackluster creative this season, some rumors have been floated that it might be in trouble. Rest assured, it'll be fine. I'm also hearing that the showrunners have recognized the problems and are hell bent on fixing them. Here's hoping.)

SHOWS THAT WILL NOT GET PICKED-UP:

• Scrubs (I don't know what ABC was thinking on this one, but it didn't work. There's no chance in hell this show will be back next year, even taking into account the 37 previous times we thought it was dead, but somehow survived.)
• Better Off Ted (This one's a real heart-breaker. If it had premiered at a different time on a different network (it fits in a lot better with NBC's slate of comedies than it does with ABC's), I think it would have had a chance, but as is, it won't survive the slaughter. It was a miracle it got a second season, let alone a third. Such a great show. It will be sorely missed.)
• The Forgotten (I'm actually pretty surprised this turkey hasn't been axed already. I know ABC has been trying to get into the crime procedural racket for a good long while, but believe me, ABC, this is not your golden ticket. The ratings are bad and the show itself is even worse. The aptly titled The Forgotten very soon will be.)
• The Deep End (The show is awful and the ratings are abysmal (heh, no pun intended, once again). The only reason this one is still on the air is that ABC doesn't have anything with which to replace it. If the ratings keep dropping though, I have a feeling it will be replaced by repeats of other shows in the very near future. Yikes. Fortunately, its death will free up a hell of a lot of great actors for other gigs. So, kill pussycat, kill.)
• Heroes (As I mentioned in the Chuck discussion, Heroes appears to finally finally finally be on its sad sorry way out the door. Its ratings are pathetic and have been slowly sinking for months. Even in light of meager gains, they're still well below just about any other show on TV (in terms of key demos). That it survived this long is astonishing. It's way too expensive to have such low ratings and still survive. So please, NBC, just let it die. Let those poor actors out of this mess and give them a sporting chance at salvaging a career. Most importantly, please put viewers who have DVRed Chuck out of their misery by no longer making us watch the first minute or so that was tacked onto the end of the recording... it's just too painful.)
• Trauma (In spite of the fact that NBC has ordered 4 additional episodes, I can't imagine it will get a pick-up for next year (unless something magical happens to the ratings). The only reason they ordered more episodes is to fill the holes in the next few months. It's a very expensive show to produce and has been pseudo-cancelled like a dozen times already. Clearly the network isn't behind this one and I can't see it coming back next year (even if it is one of the more decent shows on the network these days).)
• Human Target (This show has been difficult to track, given the number of timeslots it's been in and on how many different days it has aired, but I don't think it's long for this world. It was given an American Idol lead-in which garnered numbers that for any other timeslot would have been great, but following Idol, were lackluster. It aired this week without an Idol lead-in and plunged 23 %. Fox doesn't have the most exemplary record for keeping shows around and this one seems to be fading pretty fast. Stranger things have happened (I'm still shocked that Dollhouse got a second season), but I'm going to call this one and say it won't be back. It's not a good show, so good riddance, I say.)

SHOWS THAT ARE ON THE BUBBLE (ONES THAT COULD GO EITHER WAY):

• V (V and FlashForward are kind of kindreds in bubbleness. Of the two, V has the better chance of survival, but I still don't think it's a lock. When push comes to shove, I think ABC will keep V and axe FlashForward, but at this point, anything could happen. I lost interest in V after only a couple of episodes, so its fate isn't very high on my list. It's another show that is on hiatus at the moment, so it's hard to make a definite call. We'll see how it fares when it comes back and then I can tell you for sure.)
• FlashForward (I can tell you one thing, the utter failure of The Deep End is good news for FlashForward. FF performed FAR better in the same timeslot, so at least there won't be that hurdle to get over. The show still has to worry though. Its ratings slowly slipped from a promising start to a fair performer. I'm hopeful it hangs in there, but in my heart of hearts, I don't think it will be back next year.
• Mercy (I almost put this god awful turkey in the "will be cancelled" section, but I have a gut feeling it might get a reprieve. Its ratings are pretty bad, but the bar is pretty low and I just get the feeling NBC might want to keep this one. I think the fate of Mercy depends on the success or failure of Parenthood which premieres in March. If it does well, that could take Mercy's spot, but I think the network might want to pair these two together... It could really go either way, as far as I'm concerned. I'm leaning toward cancellation (because god knows it deserves it), but I think NBC might be just stupid and desperate enough to keep it.
• Medium and The Ghost Whisperer (No one is really sure what's going on with these two, and for that matter Numbers (which was said to be finishing up, but might not be). These ones could really go either way. Without anything else to put on Fridays, I think CBS might keep them, but I honestly don't care.)
• Fringe (This is one of those shows that I really wish I had kept up with, but ultimately didn't. I've heard it's gotten pretty amazing, but I wasn't able to hang in there. Its ratings are decent, but up against steep competition, it just hasn't performed as well as Fox would like. When its competition is in repeats, the numbers definitely go up though, so it's a tough call on this one. I'm going to err on the side of a pick-up, but it could really go either way.)
• Lie to Me (This show is on hiatus till springtime, so it's hard to really assess its chances. It's a solid contender, if not the most impressive ratings-wise. I think it ultimately might come down to Lie to Me or Fringe in the end... This show has really grown on me, so here's hoping for a pick-up. If Human Target gets the axe (as it rightly should), I think Lie to Me has a fighting chance. Lie to Me's ratings are quite a bit stronger than Human Target's (in the same timeslots), so all things being equal, Lie to Me will make it.)
• Past Life (Now, calling a show dead in the water before it even premieres may seem like a pretty douchey thing to do (read: NBCesque), but in this case, its warranted. Fox has show more than a few times that they have no faith in this one and with good reason. What little I know of the show is absolutely awful. I'll still be giving the pilot a shot, of course, but that's assuming Fox ever gives it a finite premiere date. They initially planned on giving it a plum spot after Idol, but now it's been shuffled off to die on Friday. Not exactly brimming with confidence in this mess...)
• Melrose Place (Of all the CW's shows, I'd say this one has the most to worry about. Assuming long running shows like Smallville and One Tree Hill come back, Melrose could be in trouble. If any of their shows end, however, I think Melrose might be safe. All in all, the CW doesn't have a lot going for it, so it's probably safe. The moderate success of Life Unexpected, however, could be problematic for Melrose, whose ratings are low even for CW standards...)

So there you have it. Official results won't be posted till the middle of May, but so far, that's how things are stacking up. I'll let you know if I hear anything definitive about these shows, but it could be a while. I honestly don't have a whole lot of shows that I'm all that worried about this year. There are few I'm a little on edge over, but all in all, nothing to melt-down over. Yet.

The Future of Identity Theft

Another Joss Whedon series wrapped up, another emptyish hole in my heart that only the Whedonverse can fill. As far as Whedon projects are concerned, Dollhouse was largely viewed as the redheaded step child of the bunch, but in spite of some logistical issues that plagued much of the series, I thoroughly enjoyed it pretty much since day one--well, more like from since episode two, but who's counting.

The series finale aired on Friday and I have to say, in spite of a rocky start to the second season, it ultimately turned into the kickass series I always knew it could be. My brother, who foolishly gave up on the show after just a couple of season two episodes, realized the error of his ways and had an unintentional marathon of the last ten episodes all in one night. I had promised him the show had gotten insanely awesome, but he didn't really believe me until 6 am rolled around and he realized he's just stayed up all night. That'll learn him to abandon Joss Whedon. If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that Joss will always come through in the end. Even after Buffy flew off the rails in the last couple of seasons, it all ultimately came together in the end (even if I didn't totally love the "we're going to tap all the potential slayers" storyline, I have to admit he pulled it off). Sometimes he just needs time to fix things. Like with Angel. I broke up with Angel after Connor made his way onto the scene and that whole storyline with Zoe, er, Jasmine came into being. But, upon hearing that they were basically going to write a couple of entire seasons out of the show and that Spike was being added to the cast, I renewed my commitment. And thank god I did. The last season of Angel was far and away the best season of the show and was home to several of the best episodes of any Whedonverse production ever. "Smile Time" stands apart as probably the best thing to ever happen anywhere ever, but I think the series finale places pretty high on the list as well. After the heartbreak that was Fred, it was all the more satisfying to see Angel and company kick some serious ass. Incredibly well thought out, balanced, poignant, exciting, and meaningful, the series finale pulled together all the awesomeness into one episode. It was a fitting end that wasn't really an end at all. Which was really the best part. I loved that the show came to a close on the few remaining heroes charging into certain death. It just felt right for a show like Angel and I think that's what makes it my favorite Whedonverse finale (I don't really take Firefly into account, since it didn't really get a finale--except for Serenity, but that's a different story). Here's hoping he managed to slay that dragon.

**SPOILER ALERT**

Dollhouse's finale needed to be something different. Dollhouse had always had a more sobering tone and more authentic apocalyptic flavor (given that there were no vampires, demons, or other mythical creatures to deal with) and needed a more grounded, finite ending. The truly committed fans went through a whole hell of a lot for this series, and even though season two was a lot more Whedony in the traditional sense, it was still a heavy emotional road to tread.

I think the reason the show truly came together and became the awesomeness that it became after the first few season two episodes was that the writers knew it was ending. With that knowledge, they were able to throw out the stand-alone stories, largely axe the unnecessary A-plots, and put together one cohesive story which just so happened to be the story we all had wanted all along. My main quibble with the show had been A-plots that didn't really matter in the grander scheme of things, so when they eighty-sixed that quibble, the show got awesome. Add to that the fact that the principal dolls finally got their identities back and started remembering what happened last week and all the things that held the show back were finally lifted. Given the freedom to do basically whatever the hell they wanted to do, the show really came together for me and managed to assuage all previous concerns I had had with the base concept and logistical issues.

Indeed, they turned the basic conceit into a very cerebral experience for viewers who suddenly had to look at the implications Dollhouse technology in a whole new way. When you watch as much television as I do, it's not easy to find a dynamic that's unexpected, storylines that are unpredictable, and consequences that are unforeseen. Dollhouse delivered in spades. I don't want to belabor the specifics of everything or analyze the minutiae, because in all honesty, it feels like I, too, have survived the Thoughtpocalypse (or some sort of harrowing ordeal), but I would like to briefly address the show that was.

Topher and Adele: I'm going to show my hand here and conclude that their evolution and their interpersonal dynamic was the most fulfilling of the entire series. I have a feeling I'm in the minority in that opinion, but for me, there was none better. Watching them go from completely amoral and unfeeling to part of the emotional core of the show was extremely satisfying. More so than anyone else in the resistance, they hold the Thoughtpocalypse (or Brainpocalypse, if you prefer) squarely in their hands, and even with their skewed moral compasses, the gravity of it all was inescapable. I loved their portrayals in "Epitaph One" and "Epitaph Two" and thought their emotional progression (and borderline insanity) was beautifully constructed and the natural, logical path for them to take. In and of themselves, Topher and Adele were probably the loneliest characters on the show. Even though they both had love interests of sorts, I think the bond between them outweighs any of that. When faced with sharing such a burden and such culpability for the state of things, it only makes sense that they would band together as the only two who know what the other is going through. The obvious affection and protectiveness between them at the very end was one of the most powerful aspects of the show's culmination. As Topher's plan to send the pulse comes together and it becomes apparent that he'll be killed in the process, Adele lets him go not only because it's what has to be done, but because after all he's been through, it's finally a way out. Having caused the Thoughtpocalypse in the first place, he couldn't leave without fixing things, so the pulse is his chance to make things right and also end his pain. I loved that Adele offered to go with him--together in guilt, together in death--but that Topher acknowledges that in its own way, death is the easier way out. Adele has the tougher job ahead. Always the shepherd, she has to undo the social destruction once Tohper undoes the mental destruction. I always enjoyed these two characters more than most, so seeing such a fitting and devastating end for them really made the finale for me. At the end of the day, they're my favorites.

Sierra and Victor: While Topher and Adele were the real core of the show for me, it's hard to contend that the heart of the show belongs to anyone but Sierra and Victor, er, Priya and Tony. Throughout the course of the series, they proved much more of a draw than Echo or Paul ever were, but I have to admit, the finale left me a bit underwhelmed with this particular pair. To be fair, however, touching storylines involving characters having a child together pretty generally underwhelm me. It's just never really struck me as the means to a happy ending and the strain it put between the two of them seemed illogical and unwarranted. Priya's resentment that Tony went all Mad Max in the fight for humanity was off-putting at best. I suppose I can understand it and do believe it would be in character for her, but after all the carnage and bloodshed, I'm hesitant to agree that's how it would play out. I suppose Priya was trying to hang onto whatever miniscule piece of normalcy she could and his willingness to use the tech that made them dolls in the first place was decidedly contrary to that pursuit. It was nice to see them come together in the end, and they really did make for a pairing I reveled in, but again, the whole kid storyline just didn't really do it for me. In the back of my mind, I like to think that this is an extension of where Joss wanted to take Zoe and Wash in Firefly. It's a god awful miserable world that no child should be brought into, but what if one was? I'm never of the opinion that bringing a child onto a show is good move, but it's certainly something to think about, especially as the planet is melting and the whole world is going to hell. Zoe may want to meet that child, but I'm not sure the child would want to meet the world (even if the world includes Enver's kickass Topher Brink impression--amazing).

Echo and Ballard: I couldn't not talk about them, now could I. As anyone who follows my Dollhouse-related blogging knows, Echo was never really the draw for me. The same goes for Paul. I generally viewed the two of them as facilitators of other things. Their relationship never had me on pins and needles and as far as a romantic pairing was concerned, I could have taken it or left it. But, in spite of all this, when everything came to a fiery end, their relationship captured me in a very different way than I expected. They never really worked as lovers, but as allies and friends, they made for a solid, captivating duo. They relied on each other on a level well above a flighty romance and in many ways, that's a lot more satisfying. I had a feeling Paul would be one of the casualties of the finale (Joss has a well-known tendency for bloodbaths at the very end--I think Wesley's was the most devastating finale death to date (but only because Fred died several episodes prior)), but with Dollhouse, we all know that no one is ever really dead. There is no one essence, no one consciousness for people to hold onto. It's not that Paul died, it's that the imprint of Paul died. It's hard to know how to feel about that... This show really threw into question a lot of basic actualities of life. So long as someone exists on a wedge, is he or she really dead? It's clear that all we really are is a collection of memories, so even if some time is lost with a reboot, that person never really died. The finale sought to return life and death and identity to their normal states, but I can't help but think that Topher's wedge is still out there somewhere and may someday accessed again... much like Paul's--even if he only exists in Echo's head. It was only fitting that in the end, Echo be left alone with her thoughts, because if there's one thing we've learned from this show, it's that thoughts are all we really are, even in seeming death. I think the conceit of the show made gut reactions to horrible events more muddled than in other shows. Speaking of Angel, once again, Fred's death was so unbelievably heartbreaking and devastating when Illyria took over, but in spite of Illyria's ability to recall Fred's memories, Fred was dead and we all felt it. In terms of Dollhouse, I'm not sure that's exactly true... It makes Wesley's assent to allow Illyria to lie to him (i.e. assume the guise of Fred, where heretofore Wesley had never allowed it) even more poignant.

Boyd: Wait, what? There are a lot of things that should be said about Boyd, but I'm pretty sure, "Wait, what?" sums it up the best.

Alpha: From schizophrenic day one to psychotic end of days, Alpha was seriously and devilishly badass. I loved him in his evil days, but it was still damned delightful to see him teamed up with the resistance in the end. I would quibble that that's a little too convenient, but really, it just makes sense. Alpha and Echo have always been kindred spirits in their own very special way and it's only fitting that they'd come together in the end. As far as a big bad is concerned, he always made for a much more fabulous foe than Rossum itself, but he was never the root of the problem. Merely a symptom. One badass symptom. He may have started out as the exemplar of tech going bad, but after all was said and done, he and Echo were the evolved ones. The ones most equipped to deal with the end of the world. Even as everything was winding down, he didn't opt to hide-out underground for a year or two. He took his evolved brain, stepped outside, and took his chances with the thought pulse. Doesn't get more badass than that. And yes, Alpha, I loved the suit.

Dr. Saunders/Whiskey: If the show left me a little disappointed, it would have to be here. From the minute Dr. Saunders was revealed as Whiskey, she was instantly one of the most compelling characters on the show. Along with Adele and Topher, hers was the mental and emotional progression I cared most about. In particular, her relationship with Topher raised so many mind-bending questions that I couldn't wait to find out the answers. Much to my dismay, they were largely answers that would never come. Amy Acker's commitments on her new show didn't allow for very many episodes in season two, and I have to assume that this dictated the course her character would take to great extent. Season one set up Whiskey in the most tantalizing of ways and I refuse to believe that things would have turned out thusly if the writers had had more than three or four episodes to work with. In its own way, it was a proper send off, but that doesn't mean I don't want to know the answers to all the questions I've had for oh-so-long. I'm not saying that shows need to wrap up every detail in a nice neat little bow, quite the contrary in fact, but if the show was picking and choosing what to answer and what to leave hanging, I would rather they gave us a few hints about Whiskey over other things. Amy Acker can do heartbreak like nobody's business (as is clear from the extensive and largely unintentional discussion of Angel in this post) and I would have loved to have seen some of her secrets be revealed if only to see how Acker played it. In the end, I suppose it's fitting that she never found out any more of her secrets than we did. She decided to accept the identity she had because as far as she was concerned, that's who she was. When she opted not to find out her real identity in season one, she chose a path--a path that fortunately for her, although unfortunately for us, left a lot of questions unanswered. I can understand the impulse that sometimes you'd rather not know, but for me? This isn't one of those times.

And there you have it. I've run across more than a few reviews that have settled on "All's well that ends well" for Dollhouse, and I can certainly appreciate the sentiment, even if part of me wishes the show were still alive. While not my favorite Whedonverse project, it turned into so much more than I ever anticipated early on. That I can so lovingly talk about it in terms of other Joss Whedon projects confirms for me that redheaded step child it is not. It won't likely grace any Whedon fan's top spot, but it's a solid addition to the family. At the end of the day, it tried to be its best, and did a pretty fine job.

I'll miss you, Dollhouse. I really will.