Yeah, so it's hard enough for me to learn everyone's names when that list gets two shorter every week. When it doesn't? Well, that's just mean. And ridiculous. I'm sorry, but this is a competition show. I know it's hard, but someone has to go home, Nigel.That said, I can see where they just couldn't help themselves. By all accounts, Robert (the Woo guy) should have been sent packing based on both of his pathetically bad solos, but can you really send a guy home who actually performed the night before and keep the guy who was injured? Mitchell is clearly the better dancer, and it would have sucked to have lost him over something that was beyond his control. As irksome as it is, I see their reasoning. In a perfect world though, they would have taken one look at the solos and sent Robert on his merry woo, er, way.
Anyway, moving on to last night's festivities, here's how I'm ranking the performances:
1) Caitlyn and Mitchell (Contemporary--with the chairs)
2) Sasha and Alexander (Hip Hop--military homecoming)
3) Tadd and Jordan (Viennese Waltz--with the uh, waltzing)
4) Ashley and Chris (Broadway--jailhouse)
5) Melanie and Marko (Jazz--with the hats)
6) Nick and Iveta (Bollywood)
7) Miranda and Robert (Hip Hop--woodpeckers)
8) Ryan and Ricky (Jazz--with the torn stockings)
9) Jess and Clarice (Contemporary--with the near death of Princess Clarice)
10) Wadi and Missy ("Cha Cha"--and I use the term loosely)
All in all, it was a pretty solid evening, Debbie Reynolds' total lack of critiquing notwithstanding (seriously, she's a legend and a hoofer and all, but who thought she'd be a good judge?). There has yet to be a routine this season that I wanted to watch 87 times, but a lot of good, respectable, entertaining routines. Usually, this early on in the competition, there are considerably more train wrecks. Of course, last week everyone magically drew their own styles from the make-believe hat, so there wasn't a whole lot of room for error. Seriously, I thought they had finally given up the ghost (what with them not even showing the contestants draw from a prop hat anymore), but last night they tried to sell me on the randomness once again. Yeah, we'll see.
Here are my top-to-bottom thoughts on the evening:
1) Caitlyn and Mitchell
A lot of people will probably cry foul that I placed any routine about Sasha and Alexander's, but I'll explain more on that in the next section. For me, Caitlyn and Mitchell's contemporary piece won out. And as you know, there's no love lost between me and contemporary as a genre, so it really must have been special. I have a soft-spot for well-used props and creative structures and this piece had both in spades. I know that using chairs isn't exactly reinventing the wheel here, but these were used incredibly well and with a very artistic effect. The staging and direction of the dance helped tremendously. There was just something about the tableau that captivated me in a way that no dance has yet this season. I didn't post about last week's, but I gotta tell ya, the statue routine? It was lovely and all, but I wasn't blown away. That routine elicited my usual response to contemporary. Very nice, technically brilliant, not grabbing me. But Caitlyn and Mitchell really sold this. I loved the spotlights on the chairs and the way they were framed onscreen. Both dancers really acted the part in a way that was convincing and moving. So often, I can't separate the gravity of the dance form the kookiness of the dancers, but they both pulled it off. I'm really glad Mitchell didn't go home. He's one of the very few guys this season who has the power to really partner well.
2) Sasha and Alexander
This was the big, over-the-top, reduce Mary to tears dance of the night and it genuinely was excellent. Aside from the fact that the subject matter didn't really resonate with me as much as with other people, the main reason that it doesn't get my top spot is that Alexander didn't bring it the way Sasha did. She was fabulous and Alexander paled a bit by comparison. I actually like him quite a lot and think he's a lovely dancer, but he just doesn't seem to through his entire soul into a routine the way Sasha does. Were he with a different partner, I doubt I'd even notice, but with Sasha, there's an immediacy and and urgency that he can't seem to match. That said, it was a great routine. I really loved the structure of the dance, with him walking toward her frame-by-frame while her anguish is on display in the foreground. I think the choreographers quickly realized that Sasha was the star of this show because she had a whole lot more work to do. All in all, it was a superb routine, but I think Alex is going to have to take things up a notch if he wants to outshine his partner. Good luck with that.
3) Tadd and Jordan
I'm as shocked as you are. I enjoy ballroom more than most, but in general, the Viennese Waltz is the dance equivalent of Unisom. It's always very beautiful and flowy and whatnot, but there's a somnolent quality that I can't ignore. Tadd and Jordan, however, were surprisingly captivating. Jordan was about 60% less strippery which made me like her about 60% more. Apparently there's a direct correlation between sluttiness and my inability to care about someone's dancing. Which isn't to say that I have a problem with dancers being sexy. Far from it. The problem is that Jordan isn't sexy. She's trying way to hard to be sexy to actually be sexy. Shaking your ass for Nigel's enjoyment does not a sexy dancer make. Anyway, I'm hoping she's realized that the key viewing demographics for this show are women and gay men, neither of which really cares about your cans, sweetie. I wasn't surprised in the least that they were in the bottom last week. On the other hand, Tadd is a badass. I'm very critical of ballroom dancers, especially the men (they just seem to have a harder time with it for some reason) and he gave me nothing to complain about. Absolutely lovely. His extensions were graceful, not forced or awkward, his carriage was solid, and he actually has enough power to partner well. He's also supremely likable in his clip packages and his solos are insane. He should go very far. he's easily one of the strongest guys this year, although in fairness, there are a surprising number of forgettable fellas. Now if we can just get the slutty, moronic albatross off his neck, we'll really be in business.
4) Ashley and Chris
Not only do I love Broadway, but this routine used a song from Cry Baby, so it won itself about 50,000 points right there. I loved the concept and again, well-used props, but I have to admit, there was some chemistry missing. The routine was excellent overall, but I don't find Chris appealing at all, so I had a hell of a time seeing the heat between then. I think Ashley had a hard time as well, given what she said in her clip package. That said, she gave it her all and if I found Chris sexy in any way, shape, or form, I think this routine would have been HOT. Honestly, Ashley's rehearsal time with the delectable choreographer was a lot steamier. I gave this fourth because it's really not Chris' fault I'm not attracted to him at all. His work with the bars and his aerial tricks were most impressive and interesting to watch, but I kept forgetting to watch him because Ashley is simply gorgeous. She could not have looked any better than she did in that vintage red dress, smoldering against the bars. Note to Jordan, THAT is what's sexy.
5) Melanie and Marko
I'm not sure exactly what it says about them or about this routine, but when I was ranking the routines after the show, this is the only one I couldn't remember. I put 9 routines down and simply couldn't recall the last one. What does this mean? This probably wasn't the most memorable routine, either for good or bad reasons. I remember the ones I loved and the disasters, but this one was truly middle of the road. Hence, #5. It was a quirky little routine that was well-danced, but I wasn't bowled over. I liked the concept and this type of dancing, but I don't think Melanie and Marko were as perfectly suited for it as the judges seemed to think. It just felt a little forced. They're both wonderful dancers, but they're contemporary through and through, which isn't really my bag. The routine just didn't quite have the snap, crackle, pop that I would have expected. Marko lost a couple of points for losing his hat, but gained them all back for catching Melanie in that split. He's not a huge guy and she's not the tiniest girl, so that can't have been easy. I have to give props to Melanie to being as willing to wear those costumes as she is. Those shorts weren't doing a thing for her.
6) Nick and Iveta
Who's that charming young man dancing with his grandmother, you ask? That would be adorable tapper Nick and Leatherface. I refuse to believe she's only 30. There's just no way. Good lord, I could have gone to high school with that?! I assume the reason she dipped him in the opening (which was admittedly kinda cute) is that there were fears she might break a hip. As with Chris earlier, when one of the dancers is entirely unappealing, I have a hard time seeing the chemistry, and so do the dancers. Poor Nick. It must feel like he's stopped by the nursing home to pick up chicks every time they dance. She is frightening to look at. So I don't. With that in mind, it's hard to assess her skills with Bollywood, but Nick did a very nice job. Not perfect or anything, but this isn't a style that anyone has any experience with, so he rose to the occasion admirably. I would have liked his movements to be a little quicker and for him to hit a little harder, but I'm splitting hairs. For the style he was given and the partner her got saddled with (the fact the saddles are made of leather is not lost of me), he did a great job. He's also extremely likable and goofy. He's far and away the most promising tapper I've every seen on the show, so what say we just get rid of Iveta now (assuming she hasn't keeled over and died already) and pair him up with someone else? Anyone else? He's the only guy this season with any real height, so it doesn't really matter who you choose.
7) Miranda and Robert
I just can't seem to like these two. Between Robert's overall annoyingness and Miranda non-descriptness, there's just not a whole lot to love. I think Miranda is actually quite a lovely dancer and she's got a great, athletic body for it, but she just doesn't really make much of an impression. Of course, I'd rather have her lack of impression over Robert's bad impression, but that's not exactly helping the cause much. The routine was pretty forgettable, but admittedly well-danced. Even though Robert is the hip-hop adjacent dancer of the two, Miranda's performance was better. Her movements were snappier and more precise and she hit harder. I can't say she seemed completely at home with the style the whole time, but she really pulled it off. I just can't stand Robert, so it's hard to even care how he danced. I don't recall a train wreck from him, but that's about all I can say. Forgettable routine by forgettable dancers.
8) Ryan and Ricky
As with Melanie and Marko, I had a hard time even remembering this routine existed by the end of the show. The only reason I recalled it was because of Ryan's unfortunate wardrobe malfunction. The dancing was probably pretty good, but I was so distracted by the giant tear in her nylons that I had a hard time watching. Overall, Ricky did a very nice job, but I kinda hate Ryan. She's just so damn smiley. It was annoying and ridiculous last week (no matter what lame-ass excuse she came up with), and this week, it felt like it was taking every ounce of energy she had to keep by hamming it up to the camera. The judges may have thought this was the sexiest, raunchiest routine they've ever seen, but literally, by the end of the Caitlyn and Mitchell's routine (which came right after this one), it took me a second to remember this. Maybe it's that I don't know the dancers very well yet, but I just wasn't feeling it here. Ryan doesn't have any edge at all and she wasn't convincing me with this routine at all. I have a sinking feeling she'll stick around for quite a while, but I wouldn't be sad to see her go. For as much as I like Ricky's personality, I honestly can't remember much from his dancing so far. Maybe he'll come into his own, but maybe Ryan is just too much of a weight for him to really shine.
9) Jess and Clarice
Wow, okay, this routine wasn't a total disaster, but the threat of Clarice's imminent death was just to palpable to enjoy this. This is truly the season of teeny tiny guys and Jess is the most Lilliputian of them all. Geez, just in the rehearsals I was wincing. She's a tiny girl and she's still twice his size. Evan from season 5 was a little Broadway dancer too, but I was never terrified for his partner during lifts. I was sure poor Clarice was going to faceplant into the stage at some point. Fortunately, she wouldn't have far to fall... All that said, he didn't drop her. Phew! It was really distracting though. I have to agree with Nigel here that their individual work was excellent, but their partnering was completely off. There's no chemistry between them at all and the whole prince and princess story fell flat. It's really a shame because they're both wonderful dancers. Seriously, for and tiny and irritating as Jess is, he's a phenomenal dancer. He just needs to shut the hell up and maybe grow a foot. That's all. No big. Literally. I have little doubt that these two will be in the bottom.
10) Wadi and Missy
Here we have the only real, absolute train wreck of the night. That was one of the worst Cha-Chas I've ever seen on this show. Missy did okay, I suppose, but only in comparison to Wadi's complete lack of form, style, and commitment. I realize that he's a b-boy, but seriously, so is Tadd. Not only was Wadi's technique totally lacking, but he appeared to be giving about 30% to this. If he had given it his all and failed, that wouldn't have been so bad. But with this, it was like he decided he couldn't do it so he wasn't really going to try. If Missy had been paired with someone else, I think she really could have excelled, but as is, she muddled through as best she could with only 1/3 of a partner. If Tadd had failed as well, I might be in a more forgiving mood, but Tadd kicked ass at a less exciting dance and Wadi just kind of gave up. The real shame is that I really quite like Wadi in general, but the last two weeks haven't done him many favors. The judges might have loved the Pandora's Box routine from last week, but I kept forgetting to watch. I literally started thinking about something else halfway through only to realize that I hadn't really watched the rest. I went back to re-watch and it happened again. I think both of these dancers could turn into stars, but at this point, I'm not impressed by either. The judges heralded Wadi's partnering, but I couldn't even see much of that going on.
As many of these reviews have mentioned, it's a surprisingly small, weak group of guys this year. Most are incredibly short and only a couple seem to have the requisite power to manage lifts. Although I take issue with Nigel's repeated insistence on calling the girls "beasts" this year, I can't deny that the girls are a lot stronger and more memorable than the guys. Unlike last year when the reverse was true. I'm not saying that all the guys need to be big, brawny powerhouses, but there are usually at least a couple each season that the choreographers can count on for the craziest stuff. I think about Ade and Brandon from season 5 and Ryan from season 6 and I just don't see any parallels here. Hell, even the more slender guys in seasons past held their own. Robert (!) from 7 (who paired with Caitlyn last week--lucky girl), Kupono from 5, and even Jakob from 6 didn't scare me during lifts. The guys this year? They're not exactly inspiring a lot of confidence. Some of them seem to have some power (Mitchell and Marko, in particular), but overall, they just don't strike me as real powerhouse partners for the girls. There was no chance that Ryan di Lello was ever going to win the competition or anything, but he was such a tremendous partner. The girls knew they could trust him. I remember when Kathryn drew some crazy dance, she said she was freaked out, but she knew she was with him so it would be fine. I'm hoping at least one of these guys emerges as the go-to for partnering, but I'll believe it when I see it.
Who's going to be in the bottom 3?
- Jess and Clarice
- Miranda and Robert
- Nick and Iveta
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