My New Luvah

TV and I have been married for a very long time. We've stuck by one another through thick and thin. Our marriage is still going strong, don't get me wrong, but since TV has decided "we're on a break," I decided to take my dedication elsewhere until TV decides to come back.

Long story short?

I got a Wii for Christmas.

Sigh. Of late I've replaced the ailment "Puzzler's Back" with "Wii Fingers." A deadly affliction in its own right... I should really call it "Mario Kart Fingers," what who's splitting hairs.

Awwh, Mario Kart. How I've missed you. I haven't raced my little heart out on Mario Kart since about the fifth grade, as I recall. Back when the Super NES was state of the art. My my, how things have changed. Slash stayed exactly the same. The graphics are more impressive, the options are boundless, but at the end of the day, I'm still yelling at the little cartoon figures on the screen to "GO FASTER, DAMMIT!" and cursing my opponents to the tune of "HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, MARIO!?" and "YOU DARE TO RED SHELL ME?! DIE PRINCESS PEACH! DIE!" It sounds a lot like that, only with considerably more swearing... Let's just say I should really compete against drunken sailors... I had all but forgotten how stressful and addictive this little gem really is.

Misty water-colored memories...

Anyway, it has kind of taken over my live for the past several days. It's been a nostalgic trip down memory lane and a mind-bending, eye-sight warping reminder of why I shouldn't play video games... En route to the chiropractor today, I could literally hear the background music in my head and even that sound the game makes when you hit one of the cubes. Sad. Very sad. I've only been playing for a few days, but I've already unlocked all the additional courses and most of the additional characters and vehicles. But, like the pathetic sense of accomplishment I gain from puzzles (I finished the Klimt, by the way--holy hell that was the hardest puzzle I've ever put together), unlocking crap on Mario Kart is fulfilling in some sort of sad, twisted way. But, again, with TV out of the picture for the next few weeks, I have no other choice of mistress-- er, mister? Why exactly isn't there a male equivalent of "mistress," hmmm?

Reflections on Mario Kart that was and Mario Kart that is:

• I still hate Rainbow Road as much as I ever did. Good god, what sadist came up with that course?! It's a lot shinier and more spectacular in its current incarnation, but that doesn't make it any less fall-off-the-edgy. Bah!
• Ghost Valley 2 is likewise welcome to bite me. Although no where near the aggravation that Rainbow Road is, it's been one of those courses tha elicits a groan since I was but a wee fifth grader.
• Back in the day, I seem to recall playing as Yoshi on a regular basis. Nowadays? Not so much. I play a lot of Luigi with the Mach Bike (or Sugarscoot) and any character for whom the Magikruiser is an option. Even if that character is as reprehensible as Baby Peach.
• There are some hair-pin turns that I simply cannot make. I had to accept that fact back then and was rather woefully reminded of it now. That Mario Circuit with the Legos? Yeah, there are a couple of turns that I just kind of have to hope for the best...
• I really hate it when Bowzer and Donky Kong bump me off the road. Particularly when the "off road" is filled with lava or something...
  
• The squid ink is annoying as all hell. Definitely not an improvement on the game.
• The POW is also more than a little annoying. Grrr...
• But nowhere near as annoying as that stupid blue winged shell that takes out the racer in first place. As I am often in first place, it just seems downright mean. Especially when I'm mere inches from the finish line. Not cool, electronically programmed competitors. Not cool.
• Green shells are useless. USELESS, I TELLS YA! I wish I could just casually opt out and get something better. IF they hit anyone, it's usually me. Blah!
  
• That Maple Treeway has lovely, soothing, cruising through the countryside music that kind of creepily belies the fact that you'll be falling off a branch in the very near future.
• I hate the Special Cup. It should really be called the Special Needs Cup. As in, I think I'm going to need a set of effing wings to survive some of these...
• That Mountain View Highway course with all the cars and trucks and crap? Oh dear lord, that's terrifying! I've gotten pretty good at it, but it still evokes a visceral, "OH MY GOD! We're gonna die!" reaction when you get hit by a car...
  
• I really love that lightning bolt. Such a great feature. It gives me a sense of power that I just don't have in real life. You know, what with being able to miniaturize people I don't like. That would nice to have...
• I think I'd like to marry Bullet Bill. Never has such a comforting presence come into my life and magically driven my car for me and knocked my enemies into oblivion. Dreamy.

So this is what my life has been reduced to... I keep hoping I'll just unlock everything so I can feel like I can stop. As is, I'm having an obsessive compulsive reaction to the game... Gotta keep playing... Must. Unlock. More. FEATURES! Fortunately I casually haven't been to work in two weeks so I've been able to more fully devote myself to the important things in life.

In other video game news, I really, really, really suck at Zelda. I only ever played the game a couple of times back in the day, so I'm totally out of my depth now. Good god, have you always had to waste so much time talking to people?! Why do people play this game?! I assume it gets more fighty and less talky, but at this point? I think I'll go bump Koopa Troopa into some lava or something, thanks...

Here's the Mario Kart I remember... albeit with someone slightly more skilled at the helm.



Seriously?! I can't even stay on the track, let ALONE jump the corners!

Someone has too much time on his hands... Wow.

Sci Fi Overload

Hey, peeps. I've been rather remiss about writing lately. Between most of my shows going on hiatus and my work life royally sucking at the moment, it just hasn't been a priority. I've spent my evenings working on jigsaw puzzles. Yes, jigsaw puzzles. And yes, I'm aware of how very sad that is. You want sad? I can crank out a 1500 to 2000 piece puzzle in about 3 days. This generally involves sitting on the floor for several hours at a time, hunched over my puzzle, which in turn results in a condition I affectionately call "puzzler's back." (You know, like maid's knee, tennis elbow, or dancer's hip.) Ann and gals at work basically couldn't stop laughing for about 15 minutes when I told them of my affliction--resulting in several cases of "laugher's side"). I had honestly never really thought of it as funny because I use it so often, but when I step outside the situation, I can see that's it's funny in that "ohhh, you gave it a name" kind of way.

I have my chiropractor on standby.

Anyway, this post is actually supposed to be about my science fiction shows, not puzzles (had ya fooled, didn't I). My sci fi shows are on a sliding scale these days, with none of them performing at the level I'd expect.

I miss Firefly. (As I shed a tear for the Browncoats...)

DOLLHOUSE

As any of you who watch this show know, Dollhouse has been officially cancelled, but the brass at Fox (still atoning for Firefly) have agreed to air the entire 13 episode order. They've been airing two episodes on Fridays, which is a lot to take in, but also nice to have around sans anything else. I haven't seen this most recent Friday's outings, but the two episodes aired their first week back were surprisingly good. I'm not as invested in the show as I was in season 1, and no episode can hold a candle to "Epitaph One", but I'm really enjoying where the show is going these days. The addition of Alexis Denisof (aka Wesley Windham-Price) as a politician seemingly hell-bent on bringing down the dollhouse has been excellent. I'd be lying if I said I didn't see his reveal as a doll coming, but it was still pretty satisfying to watch. Also, having Summer Glau back in the Whedonverse was a nice addition as well. Although her acting is always verging on the "doll state," she did a really great job and I hope they bring her back for more episodes (you know, before it goes off the air in a few weeks). Same goes for Amy Acker... I think the reason this season started off a little slow is that Whiskey high-tailed it out of there early on. I can't imagine she won't be resurfacing sometime before the finale (let's face it, her storyline easily has the most loose ends which will need to be tied up), but I find myself wishing she were central to just about every episode. Sigh. At least Alpha's coming back soon. :)

The episodes have been less rigidly "story of the week" as well, which is greatly appreciated. This may come as a shock, but I actually don't care what wacky antics Echo is up to this week unless it matters in the grander scheme of things. The engagements were only part of the problem. When half your cast can't remember what happened in last week's episode, it's kind of hard to build anything solid or employ any substantive story arcs. Given the self-imposed limitations of the concept, I'm shocked the show has worked as well as it has. That said, I really wish Joss and company had thought of some other conceit, some modified path for these characters to take that would have allowed for growth in a more active fashion. That Echo is really starting to remember things is encouraging, but at the same time, her fellow dolls (most of whom I care about more than Echo) are still wandering around like mindless children most of the time.

Anyway, my issues with the concept are beside the point this late in the game. I have enjoyed Dollhouse and expect the rest of the season will be quite satisfying, but I'm also glad Joss and company (did you notice that was Marissa playing Kilo?) will be able to move on to other projects (most notably the Dr. Horrible sequel (eee!)). As far as my slate of sci fi is concerned, Dollhouse is still the strongest contender.

FLASHFOWARD

Oh, FlashForward... I had such high hopes for you. Okay, that's being a bit dramatic, but the show really hasn't knocked it out of the park as one would hope. As with V (which we'll get to later), the concept of the show really only allows for one storyline. Granted the show takes a different bent on that one story and focuses on different characters in different episodes, but at the end of the day, you're stuck with one big giant endpoint: the blackout. I've been sufficiently intrigued by the blackout, who is behind it, why it happened, what implications it may have, etc., but I've also found myself feeling bogged down. Again, as with V, I keep thinking this conceit is better suited to a miniseries or a movie than a standard series. Each episode seems to be desperately trying to flesh out characters I don't care about regarding an event that I've heard about all episode every episode since the beginning of the series. Not a good sign.

I've kept up with the show because the base concept really is intriguing, but in execution, the show is falling short. This glimpse into the future has added a gravity and an earnestness to even the simplest of interactions and it's just not working to well in the long run. Every scene is dripping with too much emotion and destiny and fate and crap, and subsequently, self-importance. I'm having a hard time really caring about any of the characters and even kinda sorta hate Joseph Fiennes' role. His character is unerringly dour, stern, and humorless, and I just can't bring myself to rally around a wet blanket who doesn't even have cynicism or snark to fall back on. I'm vaguely invested in the supporting cast, but at the end of the day, I just don't really care what happens to them. If what's-his-face gets killed in March, I'm unconcerned. If that one girl gets pregnant or not (a storyline which is saccharine and grating at best), I really don't care. That dude looking for his the Japanese girlfriend, the bearded guy and his military daughter, that girl who drowns... don't care, really don't care, seriously who is that girl? It's not the kind of response a show would hope for.

Again, the over-arching story is what keeps me going, but even that's starting to wind down for me. Much of the mystery behind the blackout has already been exposed, and while it's interesting, I've got enough of the story that I think I'd be okay not finding out the rest. The heavy-handed themes about life and destiny and all that crap were fairly intriguing early on, but I'm really starting to not care. It's not a terrible show or anything, but from what I can see, my sentiments echo most people's. The show's ratings are fair, but nothing to write home about, and the numbers for the winter finale were at a series low. That, coupled with the fact that ABC cut the show's order by an episode and have put the show on hiatus until March and I think it's safe to say it won't be getting a second season. I predict that when the show returns in the spring, no one will be watching. Also, this hiatus seriously throws off their timeline... I'm starting to wonder what exactly the plan is, but really? Who cares. (This is one of those times when there needs to be a punctuation mark for when it's technically a question, but is really a statement.)

V

Speaking of disappointing, hey look! It's V! When I first heard about this show, I had very high hopes. The pilot was decent enough, but no where near the tour de force I had anticipated. It's really much better suited to a miniseries, which, wouldn't you know it, is exactly where it started. Oy. Like FlashForward, the show has set itself up so that it can really only have one storyline. This kind of high concept can absolutely work, but in both these cases, it's just kind of falling apart.

To really sum up my thoughts on V, all I really need to do is disclose the fact that I've only seen the first 2 1/2 episodes. Oh sure, I've re-watched Glee's oeuvre about a dozen times, but can't bring myself to get caught up on V. It's hard to exactly quantify why the show isn't clicking with me, but rest assured, it isn't. I care even less about these characters than I do the FlashForwarders. Elizabeth Mitchell's character? Blah. Her son? Mega blah. That guy who's actually a V--you know that guy with the curly haired fiance? Ugh. Scott Wolf? Cheesetastic (and not in a good way). The priest? Couldn't care less. The only people I find myself concerned with are Morena Baccarin and Alan Tudyk, and that's more as a result of my allegiance to the Whedonverse than anything else. I keep wanting to like the shows Whedon alums find themselves signed onto, but it just isn't working.

Like FlashForward, ABC has cut the show's order by an episode. Not catastrophic or anything, but not a good sign either. That coupled with the plan to air the show in blocks (of 4 or so episodes each) and I get the feeling ABC isn't completely behind the show. I'm kind of glad they're on hiatus though, because maybe I'll actually get around to getting caught up. Of course, they've been sitting on my DVR for weeks now, so I'm not holding my breath.

Overall, sci fi on TV (at least basic network TV) is a dying art. Fringe in hanging in there (and actually showing some gains after quite a long spell of decreases in ratings), but only time will tell if it gets another season pick-up. The way things are playing out at the moment, I'm guessing Fringe will survive, V has a chance, and FlashForward is as good as dead. Its never been the most common of genres, but it seems to be struggling more and more. Battlestar Galactica was very successful (in its own way), but again, that's wasn't basic network TV. I think sci fi is more of a niche genre and has its best chance of survival on cable. It's really hit or miss for me, but lately? It's been a hell of a lot more miss than hit.

I'm hoping the current slate of strugglers doesn't dissuade programmers from picking up sci fi in the future, but I'm willing to wager it takes a toll. Although, given the new shows sci fi had to offer up this year, I can't say I'd be totally heartbroken.

Here's hoping for better things to come...

Another one bites the dust... (Make that several.)

As December descends upon us (holy hell, it's December already?!) and the networks go on hiatus to large degree, decisions about who will stay and who will go have mostly been made. The fates of shows generally have to be determined by this point so that networks can gear up for mid-season replacements like Human Target, Past Life, and Day One. While it's nice to know who will and will not survive, that doesn't solve the problem of having a whole lot of nothing to watch during December and the better part of January--you know, the coldest and most dismal months when all you want to do is stay home and watch TV... Oy. This year will be even worse for the majority of network shows thanks to the Olympics and American Idol. Shows like Glee and Fringe won't be back till April.

So, until January comes and brings back Burn Notice (on 1/21--saints be praised!), Psych (1/27--which is a Wednesday, so yeah, that'll suck), Leverage (1/13--which was a bit shaky in season 1, but totally won me over with the first half of season 2) and various others, I'll just have to watch History International and the spate of screwed up people on A & E (seriously, between Intervention and Hoarders, you can't not walk away feeling a bit better about yourself and considerably worse about humanity in general). History International is one of the best networks out there. If you've been underwhelmed by the History Channel proper, you're not alone, but don't take that prejudice out on History International, which is excellent. Seriously, all the History Channel has is random crap and a whole bunch of World War II. If you're looking for anything beyond that, you'll need to switch over to History International. I watched a show on the War of 1812 last night which was superb. (Just when you thought I couldn't possibly get nerdier, here we are...) Honestly though, I'm continually amazed at how interesting history actually is versus how mind-meltingly dull it was in school. I don't know what history teachers do to make it as bland as they do, but it's a sad commentary on our public schooling system. Not that I will ever have children (saints be praised, yet again!), but if hypothetically I did, I would never ever send them to a public school in the US. It was a waste of time when I went through it and it's only gotten worse since. I'm not saying there aren't exceptions, but by and large, I learned a whole lot of nothing in school, and yet was somehow an excellent student.

Moving on (finally, right?), here's how shows are stacking up as far as being saved or cancelled is concerned. (I'm picking up roughly where I left off, so this list will only contain shows which haven't already been referenced here. It also doesn't include obvious pick-ups like House or Grey's Anatomy.)

PICK-UPS (FOR A FULL SEASON, ANOTHER SEASON, OR FOR EXTRA EPISODES)

• FLASH FORWARD (full season)
  This show started off kind of equivocally for me, but I erred on the side of potential winner. I'm rather enjoying the show, but as with V, there's really only one angle the show can have... In spite of this, the show still has me invested and the more that is unraveled, the more interested I become, but I'm not exactly on pins and needles waiting for the next episode to air. I'll certainly keep up with it through this season, but I have a sneaking suspicion it won't get picked up for next season... The ratings haven't been awful, but they're a bit below where ABC would like them. I think it all depends on whether ABC's mid-season bears any fruit...
  
  
• THE CLEVELAND SHOW (full season)
  As you can now clearly see, the order of list is not based on my interest in the show or the show's quality... I'm just listing these in order of when I heard that they had been picked up.
  
  
• CASTLE (full season)
  Yay! There were those out there who didn't think Castle would pull through, but I kept the faith. The fact that ABC's fall line-up hasn't performed quite as consistently as hoped certainly helped the matter, but now that Dancing with the Stars is over and Castle will have a new lead-in, things could get dicey. It's been picked up for a full season, but unless the numbers stay where they are (for the most part), it will likely be on the bubble for a season 3 renewal. Here's hoping!
  
  
• THE VAMPIRE DIARIES (full season)
  Okay, I was underwhelmed with the teen-angstiness of this show at first, but I have to admit, it's actually gotten pretty good and I'm totally sucked in. As always, this is mostly due to Ian Somerhalder, but in a nice change of pace, the rest of the cast is kind of growing on me as well. It has the best ratings on the CW, so a full-season pick-up was a no brainer. It will undoubtedly be picked up for a second season as well (unless the CW folds entirely), so have no fear.
  
  
• MELROSE PLACE (+5 episodes)
  The numbers for this show haven't been very good, but the CW ordered a few extra scripts so that Heather Locklear could come back and hopefully save the sinking ship. The CW doesn't have a whole lot going for it these days (as opposed to the good old days when it had shows with huge numbers? We'll call those the WB days...), so it has to take what it can get. Hopefully the relative failure of this sucker will dissuade the network from remaking any other nineties shows.
  
  
• TOP CHEF MASTERS (another season)
  This show wasn't as riveting as I had hoped, but it was all right. It got quite good toward the end, and it was pretty satisfying to see some of these chefs who had skewered Top Chef contestants in the past get skewered themselves. Nice.
  
  
• IN TREATMENT (another season)
  I've never seen this one and henceforth have very little to say about it. Ummm... good for them?
  
  
• COMMUNITY (full season)
  Yay! This is easily one of my favorite new shows of the fall and I dare say my favorite new comedy (it's a close call between this and Modern Family, which has also been picked up). Joel McHale never ceases to amuse me--and on a semi-related note, when did he become a looker? I never thought of him as a bad looking guy or anything, but until Community, I never really thought of him as an attractive guy either. Turns out Missy was right all along... :)
  
  
• PARKS AND RECREATION (full season)
  I gave up on this show after a lackluster first season, but from what I'm hearing, its second season has been awesome. I keep trying to put it back on my regular rotation, but it just doesn't seem to happen. Maybe someday...
  
  
• MERCY (full season)
  Oh dear god, NBC, just give up already! Jeff Zucker (the current head of NBC and resident dumbass) needs to be drawn and quartered for what he's done to this network. It's just pathetic and sad when a crap-fest like Mercy gets picked up on any network, let alone a one-time heavy hitter like NBC. The network has been circling the drain since he took over and just seems to defy plausibility by getting worse when think it simply can't get worse. Oy. The halcyon days of ER, Friends, and Seinfeld are definitely gone and if days could spin in a grave, they would be.
  
  
• AMERICAN DAD (uh... full season?)
  I don't even know enough about this show to know if it's currently in the middle of a season and has been picked up for a full season or if it's been picked up for another season to come...
  
  
• SOUTHLAND (it's complicated)
  What's that you say? Southland has been picked up? But I thought you just said it had been cancelled? Well, here's the deal. NBC axed this promising returning show (thanks again, Zucker!) before it even premiered its second season. Well, amid the fervor this sparked, TNT has picked up the show (in a manner of speaking). From what I hear, TNT will air all 13 produced episodes and then decide if it's worth ordering more episodes. It'll really hinge on ratings whether or not any new episodes are produced. At least they'll get to air what they've already filmed, right?
  
  
• DANCE YOUR ASS OFF (another season)
  This most exploitive of weight loss shows will be back for another round. As shameless as it was, it was kind of interesting to watch (you know, like a train wreck).
  
  
• ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE (+5 episodes)
  To understand why the hell CBS would order more episodes of this horrid show you'd really need to be pretty attuned to how TV works and I'm simply not in the mood to explain it all. It's a terrible show with so-so ratings, but it's a half-hour comedy, so it got a reprieve. Comedies are cheap to produce and have to come in pairs is the short answer. Blah.
  
  
• JONAS (another season)
  Yeah, apparently the Jonas brothers have a TV show. Who knew? This is just to prove that I receive all manner of TV news, whether I want to hear it or not... (I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit...)
  
  
• THE FORGOTTEN (+5 episodes)
  Okay, this one comes as a bit of a quandary to me. The ratings aren't so good and the show is even worse. So why then did ABC order 5 more episodes? All I can think is that it needed a slot filler until mid-season or after the Olympics and didn't want to have to come up with something original. Also, ABC has been trying to get into the crime procedural racket for some time now, I suspect, so they're probably more willing to give this one more time to magically build a real audience.
  
  
• PSYCH and BURN NOTICE (another season-s)
  These were obvious pick-ups, but I figured I'd list them anyways. :)
  
  
• LIE TO ME (full season)
  The initial order was for 3 more episodes, but Fox finally manned up and gave them a full order. I really hated this show at first, but with a new showrunner at the helm this season, it's gotten much MUCH better. It'll never be a top tier contender, but it's a decent slot filler and I'm pleased that it got picked-up. It'll certainly be on the bubble come the end of the season, and unless it improves its ratings and retains more of its House lead-in audience, it could be in some serious trouble.

CANCELLED (BOTH OFFICIALLY AND UNOFFICIALLY)

• TRAUMA (it's complicated)
  Okay, so here's yet another complicated deal at the hands of NBC. Officially, it's been cancelled. But, in light of the fact that NBC has a whole lot of nothing to replace it, they've actually ordered a few more scripts. You can see where it was difficult to figure out which column to put this one in. It's not a bad show, but the ratings really need to be better to justify a show with this kind of budget. Unless the ratings magically spike, it'll remain officially cancelled, even if they're technically producing more episodes. (In news that practically no one but me would care about, the blonde lead on the show is the younger sister of Jamie Barber (aka Apollo). That wasn't interesting at all, was it...).
  
  
• NUMB3RS (officially ending its run (-6 episodes))
  The show has been informed that this is its final season and that the total episode order has been cut by 6. I've only ever seen a couple of episodes, and was never that enthralled, but it has a Whedonverse alum at the helm, so I have to be a bit sad. I'm hearing that viewers will definitely get closure and that the writers are crafting this season intentionally to wrap things up.
  
  
• EASTWICK (unofficially, but basically dead)
  No official word has come down yet (that I've come across), but this sucker is basically a goner. A few wayward fan campaigns have sprung up, but from what I'm hearing, nothing is going to save this one. I'm, uh, crushed? Yeah, that's it.
  
  
• HANK (officially (and mercifully))
  This was really a foregone conclusion, but it's nice to see that this steaming pile of horrible has officially been given the axe. This sucker never should have been greenlit in the first place... wow.
  
  
• DOLLHOUSE (officially and unsurprisingly)
  This comes as no surprise to anyone, given the abysmal ratings, and in the end, it's probably for the best. As much as I enjoy the show, it seems to be spinning its wheels as a result of some inherent design flaws that the second season simply couldn't overcome. "Epitaph One" gave us all some hope, but at the end of the day, you just can't have a cast of characters who don't remember what happened last week. In clear penance for what they did to Firefly, the new brass at Fox has assured fans that all 13 episodes will air. They'll be airing two at a time for the month of December and then polish things off in January.
  
  
• RAISING THE BAR (officially)
  This legal drama started off strong on TNT, but ultimately sank. I gave it a shot when it first premiered, but I wasn't impressed and kind of annoyed in fact. I won't miss it, that's for sure. Looks like Mark Paul Gosseler's improved hair simply couldn't improve the ratings... Heh.
  
  
• THREE RIVERS (officially)
  And the Alex O'Laughlin lovers shed yet another tear... This cancellation comes as no surprise, but I'm sure it still stings those Moonlight cultists out there. Alex can do better, peeps, I promise. This was a terrible show with deservedly terrible ratings. I have heard that the initial order of 13 episodes will be produced, but there's no word yet on whether or not they'll ever air. As of now, the show has been pulled from the schedule and will be replaced with NCIS or other crime procedural reruns, so my money's on "no."

And that my friends is how the cookie crumbles. I'll keep you apprised of any new pick-ups and cancellations as they come, but until the mid-season starts up, there probably won't be any news in this regard for a good long while. I am, however, getting pretty excited for the mid-season to start up so I have some new shows to review. The drought it kind of killing me...