About Last Night... Cupcakes and Hookers!

You thought this was going to be about The Bachelor, didn't you? No, no, that would be "Tarts and Hookers... and Liars, Skanks, and Cross-eyed Austrian Cities"... which, come to think of it, maybe I should have watched The Bachelor... Although with a subtitle like "On the Wings of Love," I'd surely have to kill myself afterwards. What the hell, age 30 is just around the corner (which I almost typed "coroner"--heh) anyway.

About last night for reals, let's start with cupcakes.

CHUCK

[In gruff, hired assassin voice]: "Yeah, I know where that is. It's across from that cupcake place..." Ha! Totally made my day.

Anyway, Annie and I have already discussed some of the finer points from last night's episode, but I'm here to regale the masses who read my blog as well. (And by "the masses who read my blog" I clearly mean "the pair of old people who accidentally stumbled across this webpage whilst looking for televisions for people with poor visual acuity.")

While last night's episode had some issues, I personally loved it. Although I'm not as much of a Chuck/Sarah-shipper as most, so I certainly had an advantage. A quick note to the Chuck/Sarah-shippers out there. First off, how has a portmanteau not been established so that I don't have to type as much? I'm going to go ahead and create one right now because at present, it's just too much to type. New relationship name is... Shucks? Charah? I'm going with Shucks. Not only is it cuter, but it seems appropriate for any relationship that involves one Mr. Chuck Bartowski. Anyway, back on point, all you Shuckers out there (ooh, I like it), do you really, really want to see them get together at this point? Even if I were a huge fan of this coupling, I still wouldn't want them getting together at this juncture. Not only would it completely destroy the sexual tension between them, but it would derail the overall story arc of their relationship. I'm not a huge fan of the coupling, but I'm totally enjoying the jealousy and intrigue going on. I can totally understand the frustration with the "will they or won't they" teasing, but at the end of the day, it's a hell of a lot of fun to watch. And while some shows have drawn things out WAY too long (House, Psych, Bones, etc.), I think the powers that be behind Chuck are doing a nice job so far. While I wouldn't opposed them getting together at some point in the future, it just isn't right for the storyline right now. It would feel forced and convenient and like the writers has bowed to whiny fans. Don't get me wrong, I don't think writers should turn a deaf ear to what people think of their work, but by and large, kowtowing to audience pressure almost never works. For example, for as thrilled as I was to see Aaron Rose casually written off Gossip Girl, that void kind of made the story arc collapse. Everyone was happy to never ever see him again, but in terms of the overall show? I'm not sure his immediate dismissal worked out all that well... I would hate for the same thing to happen to Chuck.

Along those lines, I'm pretty bummed that last night was Kristin Kruek's last episode. I didn't totally love the character of Hannah, but I liked her well enough and felt her presence kind of grounded the show in a more logical way. Chuck's cover as a Buy More employee makes less and less sense the more real-spyish he gets, but having Hannah in his life gave it some credence. It also gave his actions, his decisions, and most importantly, his constant lying some much needed gravity. Lying to his friends and family has become par for the course for Chuck (and the audience), but to see Chuck lying to someone he's trying to form a romantic relationship with is pretty jarring. Chuck has always wanted a normal life with a real relationship and Hannah made it painfully apparent to him that his new spy-gig makes that practically impossible. Chuck wants to be a good guy. Chuck is a good guy, but you can't really build something real and good and meaningful when every other sentence is a complete and total falsehood. I think the fact that Chuck's friends and family knew him before he became the lying spy and that makes things different. Lying to them should be even more criminal, but we all understand that it's necessary. They were a part of his life before he decided to play James Bond so he has to lie to them to protect them and his job. But Hannah? She's really an innocent in all this (although I'd secretly love for her to come back as a baddie after all this--Chuck kinda sorta deserves it at this point). Chuck has no reason to include her in his life other than selfish reasons. I'm not saying that Chuck shouldn't have relationships, far from it, but you can't have your cake and eat it to. Or in this case, you can't have a real relationship and lie about everything constantly too. That's a balance spies have to strike, and clearly, Chuck's not comfortable with that. What's worse, that's not even the main reason Chuck breaks up with Hannah. No, no, he breaks things off because he's still in love with Sarah. His lingering feelings for her are a good reason, but all in all, I think its just one piece of the puzzle. I think it was way too soon to send Hannah packing, but I do like that she called him out on all his shit. Chuck may think he can be a spy and still be the same guy he always was, but as Sarah has been telling him since day one, it simply doesn't work that way.

Speaking of Sarah, Annie took issue with Sarah telling Shaw her real name, but I actually think it worked perfectly. I'll admit that it's a little convenient and a little fast for her to be confiding in Shaw the way she did, but after thinking about it, it absolutely makes sense to me. Since the beginning of season one, Sarah has been grappling with her real life versus her spy life. Her real life slowly diminished as her spy life took over. Doing the job they do will change a person whether they want it to or not. I think Sarah has always seen Chuck as the most sincere, most authentic of people (a fact that has always made her long for her old life) and to now watch him tumble down the rabbit hole of spydom is distressing at best. He's losing everything that makes him him, and I have to assume that reminds her of her own trajectory. I think watching Chuck spiral downward is distressing for her and I think that's what has led her to Shaw. Sarah can't really talk to anyone about her concerns besides Shaw, because really, who else is there? Casey's a big no, and every time she tries to caution Chuck about the path he's taking, he waves her off. Or, as has recently been the case, they've been in this awkward holding pattern where they can't really talk to each other. I have to agree that the awkwardidity is getting a little mud-like, but I hopeful that jettisoning Hannah might help. The fact that Chuck and Sarah have grown apart and that she can't really talk to him anymore came to a head when Sarah told Shaw her real name. I agree with Annie that it initially felt a little fast and convenient, but if the writers were looking for a point that would needle Chuck the most, they picked a the perfect thing. Chuck has been prodding Sarah for her real name for years now and she has always denied him. But now, seeing Sarah with Superman, hearing her tell him her real name? That's enough to rattle Chuck completely off his hinges, and quite frankly, I'm pretty excited to see the fallout. Telling Shaw her real name is tantamount to telling him she loves him (as far as I'm concerned) and it's at that moment that Chuck really sees how much he's screwed things up. Awesome. Also, seeing Sarah's face etched with guilt and even a little sense of betrayal really sold the emotional underpinnings of such an event. I think Sarah sees Shaw as somewhat of a kindred spirit. They've both been burned by the spy system at the expense of their real lives and people they love. For me, it made total sense that she would be drawn to Shaw, even if it means hurting Chuck. I'm really liking Sarah and Shaw as a pairing and watching Chuck spin his wheels and get all jealous is really satisfying. He blew his chance with Sarah and now she's moving on. Suck it up, buddy boy. You brought this on yourself. I have no doubt that this Sarah and Shaw relationship will fizzle out eventually (the Shuckers will eventually win out), but for now, I'm totally digging it. It's nice to see Sarah with someone who can actually keep up with her and not need to be coddled. I expect that somewhere down the line, once Chuck gets his head on straight and becomes the kind of person who can go toe-to-toe with Sarah, things will work out for the Shuckers, and hopefully by that point, they'll be in a place where I can be on board as well. For now? Chuck has made his empty bed and must lie in it. Things are definitely heating up for Sarah and Shaw and I'm pretty excited to see what's down the road.

In other news (and by "other" I mean "ugh"):

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER

I think I might be done with HIMYM... I didn't get started with the show until just a couple of seasons ago and absolutely loved getting caught up on DVD. This current season, however, has been a total downer. The writers really seem to not know what to do with these characters anymore and are just spinning their wheels at this point. There are some high points, to be sure, but overall, it's just a whole lot of the same, only in some sort of ersatz alternate reality. Let me count the ways:

1) Barney and Robin. I actually quite enjoyed watching Barney's character development during the "I'm in love with Robin" arc and to watch all of that be completely forgotten is annoying at best. Seeing the two of them actually come together did. not. work. (A word of warning to you Shuckers out there--things generally don't end up too rosey.) Once they got together, the writers decided they would completely forget who these characters have been for the past few years and rather turn them into an insufferable couple. Barney and Robin should have been awesome together, but the writers just let things completely fall apart. I was a big fan of the potential pairing, but after seeing the actual pairing, I cringe at the very thought of them together. I can see where the writers were trying to go [how exactly would a couple of people who suck at being in couples work?], but it failed. And now that they've broken up? Things are even worse. Robin has been turned into this pathetic shell of her former self and Barney has regressed into a caricature of the stereotype he always pretended to be. Robin used to be awesome and Barney used to have some depth (well concealed depth, but depth). They used to be my absolute favorite characters and used to have incredible comedic chemistry together, but now? Robin has nothing to do and Barney is basically a cartoon. It's not much fun to watch...

2) Marshall and Lily. Speaking of people who have absolutely nothing to do, enter Marshall and Lily. Teacup pigs are cute and all, but seriously? I used to adore these two, but now the writers just seem to be lost. Marshall and Lily don't seem to have any real purpose and the writers are doing very little to change things. Much like Robin and Barney, I used to love these two, but they seem to have devolved into caricatures. And not even caricatures of themselves, but caricatures of some annoying couple that I don't really want to know. Somehow Lily turned into a bit of a shrew (in clear contrast to her awesomeness of yore) and Marshall is a simpering idiot. Again, not much fun to watch...

3) Ted. At the center of all this disappointment is Ted, the character how has always been a disappointment. Again, the writers just don't seem to have even the slightest idea what to do with these characters anymore. This show is supposed to be about Ted's trials and tribulations to meeting his kids' mother, but more and more, it's just Ted getting plopped into some random whacky situation that doesn't actually have anything to do with anything. I could appreciate last night's sentiment (in that people lead other people on, whether they mean to or not--either being the hooker or the hookee), but it just felt like a throwaway episode with no real impact. I miss the days when the episodes jumped around in time in such a slick and effortless way that you could really believe that this was a story being told by a guy who really had history with all these people. That's not an easy conceit to maintain, so I can see where after all this time it would be harder and harder to do, but that's kind of the show's bread and butter.

Solutions? Ted needs to meet the effing mother already, Barney needs to have more than one facet (or at least somehow reinvent that one facet so that it's less redundant), Robin needs to become the awesome, funny, snarky character we once knew, and Marshall and Lily need some direction. Any direction. They all just need a purpose at this point and none of them do. Oy. The show still has its moments, but they're getting fewer and farther between...

All in all, I've about had it with HIMYM...