Monday, June 28, 2010

Everwood PD! Get your hands up!

Boy, if that doesn't strike terror into the hearts of perps everywhere, I just don't know what will...

ABC's latest attempt at summer programming, Rookie Blue, stars Everwood alum Gregory Smith, so that's good (by which I mean, of course, that's awesome)... But other than that? Well... how do I put this gently?

This new pilot is so obviously and shamelessly "Grey's Anatomy + Cops" that it's downright embarrassing. I can't decide if I should respect the creative team more for not trying to hide it or less for not trying period. Let me count the ways...

Cast of overly-attractive 20 somethings in a job that doesn't generally cater to aspiring models: Check

Hip soundtrack: Check

Local hangout is a bar frequented by people in X profession: Check

Female protagonist who also provides annoying, slightly whiny voiceovers: Check

Voiceover girl is the daughter of a legend in the profession and feels the need to live up to a bunch of stuff: Check

Pilot episode features group of newbies on their first day on the job: Check

Newbies struggle to learn the ropes at the hands of often unforgiving, compassion-less superiors: Check

Romantic pairing between voiceover girl and hot, hiring-ranking colleague: Soon to be checked.

Honestly, I could keep going. Now, a lot of shows in the past few years have been Grey's Anatomy + X profession, but never have I seen one that was basically a shot by shot remake of the original, only with that new profession at the center. Shameless. Truly shameless. And yet, paradoxically, shameful as well. Hmph.

From what I've gleaned from the message boards and from what buzz I came across prior to the premiere (and, speaking of shameless!), the only real reason anyone tuned into this generic mess is for Gregory Smith. I don't know what he's been up to since Everwood, but our darling Ephram Brown has been sorely missed. It was lovely to see you again, but I must say, I spent the better part of the pilot wishing this was a group of overly attractive twenty-somethings who were rookie pianists with Ephram providing the voiceovers... Now that's a derivative rip-off I'd enjoy! Come on, Grey's Anatomy + Pianists?! Gold. A quick note on Everwood: It's one of those shows that you get snickered at for admitting that you liked it, but more and more, I have found that a lot of the TV gurus I admire most were huge fans. I was never obsessive about it or anything, but it was a solid show that deserved better than it got. Gregory Smith was the primary reason for that. So brooding. So adorable. It's really a shame that his return to television here was... rather less than triumphant. I'm thinking maybe I'll skip Rookie Blue and re-watch Everwood on DVD instead...

There's honestly no better way to describe the show than "take just about everything and just about every character type from the Grey's Anatomy pilot and substitute with cops," so I don't think I'll try. Woefully derivative would be an understatement. That said, Grey's certainly benefited from this model, so who knows, maybe Rookie Blue will be a huge hit or something. And honestly, it was a watchable pilot. If I had never seen Grey's, I probably would have just passed it off as a cop show aimed at a younger audience and called it a day. In the definite plus column for me, I watched this before I blogged about Memphis Beat, which was definitely to Memphis Beat's benefit. I think it would have received a much harsher review, but for Rookie Blue.

Anyway, the show centers around Missy Peregrym's character Andy McNally. Oh, how I wish I were joking about that name. I've never been a fan of Missy's, so that was off-putting to say the least, but I figured Ephram would make up for it. Much to my chagrin, Ephram was in about 8 minutes of the pilot and wasn't really given anything to do. It was so strange seeing him be anyone but Ephram from Everwood, and the creators of this show should have realized that would be a problem. He needed to be given a substantive plot line with significant character development right in the pilot for anyone to see him as anything but Ephram. As with Charlie from Party of Five being revinvented on Lost, Ryan Atwood going from teen soap The O.C. to gritty Southland, and Carmela donning scrubs as Nurse Jackie, when an actor is known for playing a certain role, his/her next project needs to make a point of separating the two or you're stuck with second-rate hacks such as myself calling your character "Ephram" for the entire series. The creators should have recognized that he would be the draw for this show and should have showcased him more. He's the only reason I tuned in and is the primary reason I'll be giving this show a second episode.

Which isn't to say the pilot was a total disaster. It's real problem was with it's similarities to Grey's. Try as I might, I simply couldn't separate the two. In all honesty, the characters were likable enough, if light on substance, the concept could certainly be a lot worse, and all in all, it was pretty watachable. I didn't spend the entire pilot wishing it would just hurry and end, although perhaps that's because I was too busy chalking up items stolen from the Grey's script... The show certainly has some issues, and I don't think it has a creative team that could ever really make a serious drama work (so it's good that they're aiming for lighter), but the pilot was enjoyable on a certain level, if admittedly poorly made in a lot of ways.

Watching the rookies be put through the paces of the first day on the job was utterly predictable and when McNally arrests and undercover cop, it comes as absolutely no surprise. I certainly knew he was a cop, and so should she. That said, he could have done a lot more to tell her that was the case, but you know, that would have derailed a lazy plot point, so what can ya do? Wait, what's this? Not only was it a lazy plot point in the pilot, it's one with ramifications for the entire show! Huzah! Yeah, turns out the undercover cop will be filling the role of officer McDreamy. Ooooh, but he's all mad at her for blowing the cover he did absolutely nothing to protect (seriously, it would have taken less effort to maintain his cover ID absolutely than it did to vaguely try to clue McNally in), and he's a superior, so there's all sorts of tension and... whatnot! Yay...

The production budget apparently couldn't afford any sort of technical advisers to school these actors in police procedure or, as is so often the case, CPR. Not only did the writers of this show have no background in criminal justice, but I'm pretty sure they've never even seen a TV show about people who do. Half the things people did I couldn't decide if that was the writers' way of pointing out how stupid these rookies are of if that's how they think thinks actually happen. That's not a good sign. To boot, the heart of that poor girl who received CPR must have already been beating when Rookie McLetsseehowfastIcancrackherribs got to her, because the way she was pumping, the chambers of the heart wouldn't have even had time to fill with blood before the next compression. I don't know how it's possible that no actors ever had to learn CPR in their real lives, but... at least they have their looks? Shameful. Oh, but don't worry, the woman playing the paramedic must have actual magical powers or something because she barely raised the need in the victim's general direction before she spontaneously arose from her serious overdose. Top notch writing and acting. Who could ask for more? Oh, wait, I could!

All the characters are basic cardboard cutouts of standard TV types so far and the show did very little to give them any actual depth or individuality (but that one girl has a son! That's all sorts of depthy!). The stories of the week were a bit thin and felt forced and I didn't actually care about any of the players of the week all that much. So, making a tally so far... neither the characters nor the plotlines are strong enough to sustain a series in the long run. Great. I suppose there's a chance that this could magically turn into some solid programming, but I doubt it. But, maybe that's not what this show is going for. If it's a soap, and knows it's a soap, and isn't aspiring to be anything it could never possibly be, it might make for a nice guilty pleasure, which everyone needs a few of. It strikes me as the kind of show that you could keep up with, but never be really sure why you keep up with it, but it's enjoyable enough that you hang in there. It's fluff, and requires little to no energy or effort to watch, and certainly doesn't have the emotional resonance to ruin your evening, so in the right setting, this might be just what viewers are looking for over the weary summer months. There's certainly room to grow, I'll give it that much... Here's hoping they find their feet and smooth out the seriously rough edges because we all know I need more shows to watch... It premiered to solid numbers (for a summer scripted series), so people seem to have enjoyed this new little cop show.

Or they just wanted to see Ephram again.

I know which camp I fall into and involves a lot more Chopin and a lot less faux police work...

I'm just sayin'...

Pilot Grade: C

(The generosity of grading has a lot more to do with Ephram than anything else (in spite of his regrettably scant airtime)... which I'm sure comes a shock after this review.)

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