Something is rotten in the style of ballroom...

Is it just me or has this new season of So You Think You Can Dance been a little underwhelming? Well, add to that notion last night's show and you can add "utterly perplexing" and "kinda hard to watch" to the list of adjectives. Fortunately, last night's foray into uncomfortable style/dancer pairings, we also got to add "completely awesome" to the list as Alex unexpectedly stole the show.

Last night was probably one of the weirdest on record for me. When my favorite routines of the evening are hip-hop and contemporary and I absolutely hated the ballroom numbers, something Twilight Zone-y must be going on...

Maybe it's a Stonecutters' plot.

Here's how I'd rank the routines from last night, and please bear in mind that the numbering isn't accidental, it's telling:

1!) Alex--Hip Hop
7) Ashley--Contemporary
8) Adechike--Hip Hop
11) Billy--Contemporary
12) Robert--Jazz
13) Kent--Jazz
19) Lauren-Broadway
11, 637) Jose--Samba (well, Anya was doing the Samba...)
266, 434) Melinda--Salsa (if you can really call it that)

Never, in the history of me watching the show (which is admittedly only the last three seasons), have the styles broken down like that. Wow. I'm still a little in shock... On a semi-related note, does anyone know why they don't put this show out on DVD? I would absolutely love to watch the seasons I missed, but for whatever reason, Fox doesn't seem it necessary. I'm wagering that a lot of people (even people who saw the seasons originally) would buy them, so if you happen to know anyone in the industry who could effect some change, I'd greatly appreciate it. (Quick note: "affect some change" or "effect some change"? Oh, don't you worry, Annie and I discussed it and we settled on "effect" as in "bring into effect". Ammon was the dissenting vote, but I'm going to have to defer to Annie on this one. Not that anyone besides the three of us would ever care.)

ALEX
After last week's lackluster Fosse number, I was loving Alex a little less than usual. Then I heard he was going to be doing a hip-hop number this week and I was honestly expecting disaster. (I don't know why it was such a big deal that he was dancing with Twitch, but everyone seemed to think this was positively scandalous. Of course, I wouldn't bat an eye at a Samba between the two, so maybe it's just me.) Anyway, much to my GREAT surprise and INFINITE delight, this was far and way the best routine of the season. Way better than that contemporary piece that the judges were sobbing over. (Although Adam gets teary-eyed over just about everything, awesomely, including this one.) Seriously, this is really the first time that I thought to myself, "Annnnnd, we're watching that again. Right now." I, like everyone else, was totally blown away. To see such a refined ballerino tackle hip hip with such skill is why this show exists. Not only did he keep up with Twitch, but in a lot of ways, I think he was better. Unlike a lot of routines where my eye is drawn to the all-star, I couldn't take my eyes off Alex. He was hitting every move and doing so with the perfect aplomb. Tabitha and Napoleon's routines are always a little hit or miss for me, but this one was all hit, beginning to end. As far as I'm concerned, the season has finally started.

ASHLEY
This was a surprise not so much because it's Ashley as the fact that it was contemporary (not choreographed by Mia), and I totally loved it. This is what contemporary dance should always be like. This routine was fluid and beautiful, as per usual, but it also had a dynamism and energy that most are lacking. I wasn't bored to tears and the dancers weren't employing their best emo faces and arm flailings to convince me how meaningful and deep it all is. And, because they weren't trying so hard to give it depth, it actually had more depth. Mia's description was a bit florid, but absolutely accurate. This was a powerful piece in terms of actual dancing, not just in terms of some ridiculous concept where "she represents justice and he's the cruel, unfair world" or whatever. This piece actually got me excited. The fact that the chose a compelling song didn't hurt either. End result? Ashley's the only girl in the competition that deserves to be there. Of course, that might be hasty, given that she has danced in her own style every single week so far, but all in all, she's the only good one in the bunch. (That statement also has to take into account the fact that Cristina was unjustifiably sent home last week--well, Mia and Adam, I hope you're happy... oh wait, you're not. At least Mia copped to it. Bad decision. More on that later.)

ADECHIKE
And the surprises just keep on coming. My third favorite routine of the night was Hip Hop? Starring Adechike?! What is the world coming to. Seriously though, this is the first week where Adechike actually put some personality into the routine. He genuinely seemed to be enjoying himself and playing the part, not just pretending to play the part. Honestly, last week's contemporary piece felt like emotion was just part of the choreography. And, step, pivot, smile convincingly, turn! Bad. This was a tremendous improvement and for the first time, I actually don't want him sent home. I hope this is a sign of things to come. Fun, fun routine, well-danced. I can't really ask for more from him than that.

BILLY
Oh, Billy Bell. Poor guy, it's not easy pretending to be heartbroken or emotionally wracked over girl trouble when you're oh-so-very gay. I honestly think he did a pretty good job with it. He and Kathryn are just kind of goofy friends, so I can see where getting to that place emotionally wouldn't be easy. That said, Kathryn got there. All the way there. And in spite of the total lack of sexual chemistry going on. I always enjoyed Kathryn during her season (her dancing, not her crying), but it's really here the I'm appreciating just how committed she is. What a pro. That said, the chemistry was obviously lacking here and there, but I think they pulled it off. I don't generally buy the farm when it comes to the cheesy set ups for these dances, so I was willing to let a lot go. He would have been higher on the list if he'd been able to manage some sexual chemistry, but I didn't expect it to happen, so it wasn't all that disappointing when his emotions fell flat.

ROBERT
Okay, I actually really like Robert, and I generally love Sonya (even if her choreography is looking a little to familiar from routine to routine), but there's something about the way Robert dances that kind of makes me laugh. When he was doing a few of those contorted poses, all I could think was that Niles Crane had been cast in the role of "raptor" for the next Jurassic Park sequel. Oh, "giant, hungry chicken". (Boy, that's a movie I'm going to have to see!) I couldn't find a clip, but if you have it saved on your DVR, go back and watch it again. Hehe. Other than that, it was a solid routine, even if not one of Sonya's best. It felt a little like Melissa and Ade's from season 5, only not as cool. This one just didn't seem to have much focus, but that's not really Robert's fault. The goofiness, however, is his fault.

KENT
Dear, sweet Kent. I have a sinking feeling he is turning into this season's Evan Kasprzak. As with Even, I find myself enjoying Kent's clip packages and the behind-the-scenes rehearsal videos more than the finished routine. Which isn't to say this was a terrible performance or anything, but it just wasn't the tour de force I had hoped for. I have to agree with his critics though and say that I just can't seem him as a powerful male lead in a dance. I just seem him as this innocent little farm boy who does as he's told. When asked, "Do you want me?" by sexy dance partner, he responds with a timid, "Yes...?" I half expected a "ma'am" after that. I think he'll settle in eventually, and he really does try to embrace the roles he's given, but only to varying success. It really did feel like an act, probably because it was. I honestly don't think he can relate to his partners in a way that's truly sexy and powerful, but I give him a lot of credit for trying. His older brother is becoming a youth pastor, for crying out loud. How much sex appeal can little brother really have?

LAUREN
I hate Lauren. A lot. She epitomizes "dingbat" for me and her dancing ability isn't enough to make up for it. She's stocky and inelegant and that makes her rather unappealing to watch. So, when she's put in the role of classic Hollywood starlet, she just can't pull it off. There's a very masculine quality in her dancing (and not in a good way) that she just can't seem to shake. She looked like a second rate drag queen dancing with Neil and exuded exactly no sex appeal whatsoever. She wasn't the sultry screen siren seducing the daydreamer, she was just awkward. Hell, even her dress falling apart didn't sex things up (although dirty old man Nigel sure seemed to enjoy it). There was no chemistry between her and Neil and I didn't buy any of it. For a Broadway number, the character is a lot more important than the steps, so while she technically got all the right steps in there, the whole set up was a flop. Send her home, oh PLEASE send her home!

JOSE
Oh. Dear. Lord. Speaking of sending people home, having Jose on this show is downright embarrassing. His Bollywood number last week should have been more than enough to get him the boot, but apparently no one (well, at least not the judges) seems to care that he can't dance. I guess maybe he thinks he can dance, and therefore technically meshes with the title of the show, I know he can't. Good god, that number last week was terrible and this week's "Samba" was just as bad. It's bolstering my confidence in my knowledge of dance that I can tell within seconds that he's terrible. My mom and brother seemed to think he did just fine, but I assured them the judges would make a point of his lack of skill. Well, little did I know that apparently the judges don't really care if he can dance at all. Oh sure, they recognize the fact that he's terrible, "but he's just so sweet!" Gag me. He's a nice enough kid, but without the skills to back it up, I'm sorry, he' needs to go home. This "Samba" was painful to watch. I felt so bad for poor Anya. The choreographer did everything he could to make Jose's first partner dance work (you know, by putting a table between them), but nothing could save this routine. Absolutely pitiful. He gave it his best shot and at least tried to embrace the style, but just couldn't do it. Samba Fail.

MELINDA
Speaking of terrible... oh look! It's Melinda! What is wrong with the world when the two ballroom numbers are at the very bottom of my list?! Oh good god, this "Salsa" (and I'm sorry for the air quotes, but it was be disrespectful to the style to call what Melinda did "Salsa" for reals) was beyond terrible. I don't know what it is about her dancing, but there's just something so wrong with it. Her pigeon-toes are a big part of the problem, but more than anything, she just seems so disjointed. She doesn't seem to connect to the music at all. Plus, like Lauren, there's a masculine vibe to her dancing that made her clash with her partner. Her problem goes beyond masculine or inelegant though. There's just something so hunched and floppy about her that's truly hard to watch. I couldn't believe they kept her over Cristina, so it was nice to see Mia and Adam with egg on their faces. They made the wrong call, and Mia had to admit it. Geez, the thought that Cristina could have done this routine makes the injustice all the bitterer. She would have rocked it. She had actual rhythm, musicality, and sex appeal. Melinda has none of those things. At least not when she's dancing. Her flirtiness in the rehearsals is always a little endearing, but she just can't seem to bring that to the dance floor. She'll be sent home tonight, so this rant is largely moot, but I needed to put it out there.

So, what have we learned from last night's melange of awesomeness and awfulness? Tappers and B-boys need not apply next year. Ugh.