Fairly Ordinary

After a jam-packed week of pilots (a higher volume than I've ever experienced before), I thought I was finally done with the review of Blue Bloods rounding out the week on Friday. Well, silly me, I forgot that No Ordinary Family was bringing in the rear last night. Sigh. I love reviewing new shows, but this year has been a veritable deluge of shows, most of which were pretty mediocre. As such, I might not be giving this show a fair shake due to simple fatigue... Take review with grain of salt.


No Ordinary Family focuses on the Powells, a clan of dysfunctional suburbanites who develop superpowers after their plane crashes in the Amazon. Apparently the water had some iridescent glow of some sort that's tantamount to a radioactive spider. My mum came in a few minutes into the pilot and asked me what it was about, to which I said, "There's this family that crashes in the jungle and the water gives them magical powers or something..." My mom thought I was joking and actually asked me to hit "info" on the satellite so we could read the description. "No really, Mom, that's what it's about." After a quick look of incredulity and a "Seriously?", she settled in to watch. Yeah.

I honestly don't have a problem with the concept for this show. I watch a lot of programs with equally ridiculous conceits. I think the main reason this show wasn't an all-out success for me is how they went about it. The pilot employs the annoying common narrative device of the therapy office. Jim and Stephanie Powell tell the story of how this all went down to a couples counselor. In general, voiceovers and narrators kind of drive me nuts. Sure they work sometimes, and can even add a lot to a show (on Dexter, it's essential, illuminating the dark thoughts beneath his banal daily routine, and on Veronica Mars, it lent itself incredibly well to the pseudo-noir style), but I'm generally of the opinion that if a show is being done right, they don't need someone telling the audience what's going on and how characters are feeling. It just seemed unnecessary, and what's worse, the thought that they'd be telling anyone about their new superpowers seemed utterly absurd.

The writers made a very conscious choice to make the tone of the show very different from a serious drama like Heroes, to varying degrees of success. This show is not Heroes, and I think we can all agree that that's a compliment, but No Ordinary Family seems to have gone out its way to avoid the comparison, thereby eliminating the elements that made the first season of Heroes such a success. The Powells suddenly realize they have these fantastic powers and rather than being perplexed or frightened by them, they're positively giddy, even when their children start exhibiting similarly bizarre abilities. In a way, it was a welcomed relief not to have to watch people be tortured and horrified by what's happening to them, but it also took away a lot of the tension. There just doesn't seem to be anything weighing on them at all and none of them seemed to be concerned for how these powers might affect them in the future. Surely they've seen enough TV and movies to know that with great power comes great responsibility, right? It made watching them tell their friends, random colleagues, and their therapist all about it seem like an incredibly stupid idea. Don't they know the government will try to destroy, contain, or exploit them? Any logical person would have been a lot more cautious with that information, it seems. I realize that the show is aiming for a lighter tone here, but that doesn't mean it has to be nonsensical. Indeed, with a base concept that's off-kilter, I would have hoped that the show would have been a bit more grounded and realistic in other areas.

The show seems to be trying to find its anchor to reality in the trivialities of family life and it just didn't quite work for me. Michael Chiklis stars as Jim Powell alongside Julie Benz as his wife Stephanie, with a teenage son and daughter in tow. Here we have yet another case of shlubby guy/hot girl, only this time, even the hot girl is pretty loathsome. I have never been a fan of Julie Benz and have pretty much hated every role I know her from. I couldn't stand Darla (she wasn't even fun to hate like a respectable villain) and Rita has to be one of the worst characters ever conceived. To her credit, her turn as the super-speedy matriarch of the Powell clan appears to be Benz at the nadir of her annoying-ness. I didn't love her or anything, but she wasn't a nagging bitch either, so that's an improvement. But, then you combine her barely tolerable-ness with Micheal Chicklis and we're back to loathsome again. They didn't have much chemistry together, and Chicklis could not possibly be less appealing or less convincing as a big softy who likes to draw. I hear he's amazing in The Sheild, but here? I'm unimpressed. His newfound superstrength (sort of), near invincibility, and tremendous jumping ability (there's a constellation of powers for ya) should have made him a lot more interesting as a character, but I was pretty underwhelmed. The basis of the show is that this family had lost touch with each other and now they're reconnecting through these extraordinary circumstances. Much like Undercovers tried to rekindle relationships through supposed awesomeness, once again, I was kind of bored.

This show wasn't without merit, and I do think it has some definite room to grow, but it just wasn't as fun or exciting or fascinating as you might assume given the concept. It all just seemed kind of perfunctory. Plane crashes almost killing us all? No problem. Bizarre physical changes that will have untold effects? Excellent. No knowledge of how this happened or why? Okeedokee. Daughter has unsettling Sookie-style mindreading power that she can't seem to control? Why not?! It all just seemed a little too convenient, and, well, a little too ordinary. It's fine for the show to take a fun, light, enthusiastic approach to this concept, but without any real emotional impact, none of it carried a whole lot of weight.

As you have probably surmised, this show has some obvious similarities to The Incredibles, right down to basic family structure, only, you know, not as good. Hell, after finding he has superpowers, Chiklis' character starts listening to police scanners so he can intercept crimes in progress. Familiar much? In the promotional push for the show, the creators were adamant that this show isn't aiming to be the live action version of the Pixar hit. While I give them credit for trying not to steal, I think I'd have liked a live-action Incredibles a whole lot more. The Incredibles managed the theme of suburban blase and the mundaneness of everyday life with mastery and allowed the characters to be excited about their powers without eliminating the suspense or gravity of the situation. In fact, The Incredibles was a pulse-pounding thrill that blended it's serious and light aspects seamlessly. No Ordinary Family simply didn't have me on the edge of my seat or giddy over the superhero awesomeness. They seem to have gone out of their way to make the extraordinary seem kind of humdrum, and not in a good way.

I was feeling pretty "meh" about the show, but the final scenes have me intrigued for more. Apparently the Powells aren't the only supers out there. Predictable yes, but still intriguing. The shadowy powers-that-be have ominous plans for the Powell clan (just like they should have assumed themselves and kept their mouths shut) and I'm interested in seeing how that all plays out. Seriously, I had a hard time caring about anyone in the Powell family, but the bad guys, who were in a few fleeting moments of the pilot, have my interests piqued. It might be due to the fact that one of the baddies, some sort of enforcer I'm guessing, is played by the delectable Josh Stewart, a guest actor on Criminal Minds (he played JJ's New Orleans boyfriend Will), but I'm already a lot more invested in his team than in the Powells... What say we just make him the center of the show, mmkay? (Such thoughts probably aren't a good sign.)

All in all, it wasn't a bad pilot, it just didn't really push my buttons either. Everything seemed like it was 2 or 3 times more sedate and banal than I was hoping for. Maybe this is the beginning of a slow build to more thrilling things, but I'm apprehensive. If they were aiming for this to really be a family drama about people who happen to be superheroes, then the family needed to be a lot more engaging. Perhaps I was the only one who didn't find much to latch onto with the Powells, but as the core of the show, I needed more. If it's supposed to be a show about superheroes how happen to be a family, then the powers really could have been more original and interesting. I've seen this all before and even with the same special effects (although the effects were very well done, even if not all that innovative). The powers were all disappointingly familiar (Nightcrawler? Is that you?) or incredibly lame. Suffice it to say, if I were the teenage son of this clan, I'd be pretty pissed. "You're telling me my father can catch bullets, my mother has super-speed, my sister can read minds and I get... Math!? Seriously? Intermediate Algebra? That's my glowing-water-induced ability?!" For his sake, I'm hoping there's more to it than that...

The pilot wasn't especially strong, but it did set up a foundation that I think could turn into something special. It's a Greg Berlanti production, so the creative team is solid, even if the on-air talent is a turn-off. Heh, when Harold Abbot was finally revealed onscreen as the therapist, even my mother was like, "Oh, so this is a Berlanti production." Ha! I couldn't believe my ears! My mother, the woman who guesses that Chuck is the show that'll be on that night every single night, recognized a Berlanti alum. I didn't think she even knew his name! I was so proud. Anyway, he generally fares better with relationships than flash, so I can see where they're trying to make this more about family than powers, but I think that might be the show's downfall for me. I just couldn't bring myself to care about any of them... I'm hopeful that if I give it a few more episodes, they'll grow on me.

The preview of things to come this season has me hopeful for this show. A lot of my quibbles with the pilot will be addressed and some much needed gravity will be added (or at least so it seems). I can't say the pilot bowled me over, but I'm hopeful this will be the kind of show that starts off kind of weak and gets better episode-to-episode, Chicklis and Benz notwithstanding...

Pilot Grade: C+

Not Your Typical Cop Drama... THANKFULLY

As premiere week finally drew to a close and Friday was upon me, I couldn’t help but smile at the knowledge that I was presumably done blogging about new shows for a while and was giddy to get back to the business of writing about shows I already love (the Castle and Vampire Diaries premieres were off-the-hook fabulous). Sure I skipped a few pilots (I think the only ones I didn’t screen at all were Chase, Mike & Molly, and Outsourced), but by and large, I watched them all, for good or bad (sadly, mostly bad). I DVRed CBS’ Friday night offering, and definitely had plans to watch it, but didn’t have any intention of blogging about it. Well, in a bizarre twist of fate, new show Blue Bloods is actually an interesting family drama/character piece masquerading as a random cop show. Given the relative lack of decent pilots this season, I’m compelled to write about this one just to give a little balance to the good and the bad.


It wasn’t a perfect show or anything, but I found myself interested and intrigued from start to finish. I expected it would by your typical genre show, but it’s actually a serious drama about multiple generations of a New York family, many of whom happen to be cops. The show centers around patriarch Tom Selleck as chief of police Frank Reagan, his father, the former chief, and his children, a homicide detective (Donnie Wahlberg…ugh), an assistant DA (Bridget Moynahan), and a Harvard law student turned rookie cop (Will Estes). It’s not a cop show in the same way that Nurse Jackie isn’t a medical show. The fact that those are their professions is largely incidental. Sure it sets the scene and creates a universe for these people to exist, but it’s more about how the characters interact with this world and with each other rather than the world itself. As I’ve mentioned in previously, when you’ve seen enough genre shows and have sat through more than a few legal dramas, medical shows, and crime procedurals, it simply has to come down to characters. The cases of the week quickly become secondary to interpersonal dynamics and character development because if you’ve seen one murder mystery, car accident, or missing kid, you’ve seen them all.

Indeed, when a young girl was kidnapped, I feared Blue Bloods had started veering down the path of standard cop show. In some ways, this pseudo-victim-of-the-week was the weakest part of the pilot. Just when it wasn’t horrible enough that a girl had been kidnapped, she also happens to be a diabetic so the cops are forced to find her within 24 hours or she’s dead for sure. I assumed this was yet another lame device used by shows to add suspense. The “ticking clock” can be useful and all, but it usually comes across as little more than a ploy. In terms of the A-plot, that’s an apt description, but the ways in which this storyline affects the characters marks a clear divergence from the norm and is the reason this pilot was so successful. Because of the ticking clock, Wahlberg’s character brutalizes a suspect in order to find the girl in time. As such, the evidence gathered might be inadmissible and the pedophile might walk because of his actions. This situation raised a lot of questions about justice, law enforcement, and the use of force. The family comes down on both sides of the debate, some saluting Wahlberg’s actions, others condemning. While hearing Selleck’s character justify the use of “enhanced interrogation techniques” was fairly stomach-churning, there are absolutely people out there who believe torture is valid and the A-plot for this pilot helped bring the debate to the table (quite literally in this case as family dinner turns into a bit of blood bath). Both sides of the debate were represented, although I do wish the liberal side of the table had pointed out the obvious: it doesn’t matter where you fall on this issue, Wahlberg’s actions almost let a pedophile walk. Anyway, their heated discussion was uncomfortable to watch (what with my wanting to jump in every two seconds but not being able to), but it brought a very serious and relevant issue into the television dialogue and that was a refreshing change of pace. Most shows would have shied away from the ramifications of police brutality, usually heralding the abuser as a hero, but Blue Bloods put it front and center. If that weren’t enough, the girl who was kidnapped was Hispanic, bringing issues of race and police response to the forefront as well. This show seemed to go out of its way to take a standard cop show cliché and build actual characters around it.

This is a show about people, a family, and the effects that enforcement can have on that family. While I didn’t like some of the characters and often disagreed with their political views, they were all compelling and well-founded. It didn’t seem that half the family landed on one side of the issue and the other have on the other side in a convenient bid for drama. The set-ups for each of these characters made their responses to the issues before them logical, or at the very least, believable. Tom Selleck does a very nice job playing the patriarch, the enforcer, the boss, and the politician. He anchors the family and the show with a decisive, but open hand. The rest of the cast is equally strong, with the possible exception of Donnie Wahlberg… Bridget Moynahan is excellent as strong, smart assistant DA Erin and Will Estes excels at convincing me that he’s smart enough to have been a Harvard lawyer, but that he has always wanted to be a cop. In all honesty, Wahlberg did a respectable job in his role, I just can’t stand him as an actor. I can’t even really put a finger on it, but there’s just something about him that’s completely off-putting. The fact that his character is equally unlikable to me actually makes this perfect casting, I suppose. I assume he’ll grown on me, and his character wasn’t completely without merit, but my initial response is mostly negative. His acting was fine and all (although he had about 80% more accent than any of his family—maybe he was recently adopted...), so maybe it’s just that I don’t find him physically appealing at all. I hate to admit my shallowness here, but I just don’t find him attractive in any respect, either physically or personalitally (ohh, it’s a word). Although I guess the shallowness comes as little surprise given that I’ve officially watched five seasons of Criminal Minds because Matthew Gray Gubler is beautiful (okay, that’s not the only reason, but it's first on the list).

Anyway, the base concept is solid and the pilot went a long way to set up a world for these characters to inhabit. This show is far more than your standard cop show and that’s a lovely surprise. To boot, it’s a serial, which always wins points in my book. I watch a number of shows that are one-off procedurals (the kinds of shows where you can skip a dozen episodes then come back to the show and feel like you haven’t missed a thing), but they’re never my favorites. Even shows that technically have case-of-the-week type elements need something more for me. So, when I get a show that’s truly a serial, I sit up and take notice. Along with the social and political issues and the multi-generational family dynamic, the pilot also sets up an intriguing story arc regarding the death of the fourth Reagan child in the line of duty. Not all is what it seems and police rookie Will Estes gets drawn into a conspiracy that might very well indict his fellow police officers and even his family.

I was surprised by this show. It had some elements that I would change and the occasional genre cliché, but more than anything it’s a solid family drama that isn’t afraid to examine hot-button issues. There’s only so much that can fit into 42 minutes, so certain aspects of the show were a little more convenient than I’d prefer, but the show makes it work. Given that it airs on Fridays, I didn’t think it would perform very well, but it actually won the night, getting a 2.2 rating in the key demo and 12.8 million total. That’s not bad for any night, but on a Friday at 9 pm? Quite impressive. Hell, it fared better than Undercovers by a long shot and killed its atrocious timeslot competitor Outlaw. In all my ratings predictions, I never saw that coming. Fortunately, it’s deserving of the attention and certainly deserving of my eyes than J.J. Abrams’ boring, uninspired dramedy. It’s not often that quality actually wins out in the ratings department, but it happens.

If cop shows aren’t you cup of tea (or even if they are), Blue Bloods has a lot to offer and a solid foundation on which to build. It could go in a lot of different directions and I’m happy to see where it ends up. Plus, the fact that it airs on Fridays is an added bonus in my book, what with total lack of scheduling conflicts.

I’m as shocked as you are, and maybe it’s the pilot fatigue talking, but based on the pilot, Blue Bloods one is worth a shot.

Pilot Grade: B

Generation Y

I suddenly feel so old… It’s only been in recent years that characters on TV were my age and, more terrifyingly, younger, so seeing a show about characters I could have gone to high school with is even more disconcerting… I had mixed feelings about this one going in, but figured I owed it to the class of 2001 to give ABC’s My Generation a shot.

Told as a documentary-style drama, My Generation puts a different spin on an old routine. The show’s conceit is that a documentary film crew has kept up with students from the class of 2000 over the past ten years after graduation. The show unabashedly focuses on cardboard cut-out stereotypes from high school (The Jock, The Nerd, The Rocker, The Rich Kid, The Prom Queen, etc). I’d be more critical of the blatant lack of originality there, but I can believe that a documentarian would likely do that on purpose, looking to high school clichés as a baseline, then seeing how it all panned out. My real problem with the show is how abundantly convenient everything was. It’s ten years later and all these people magically end up back in their home town so they can interact. The fact that it’s told in a documentary style somehow makes this more irksome and yet, less irksome, all at the same time for me. It’s hard to explain, for some reason, the fact that they are presenting this as reality makes me think, “Huh, what a random, crazy happenstance… Okay then.” On the other hand, all the ridiculous connections that happen would never really happen, so that makes the styles kind of a liability. Whatever the effect, I think they could have brought all these people together in less ridiculous ways.

As the pilot progressed, however, I decided to just kind of let it go. I decided to accept the conceit and just go with it. That helped immensely and made me like the pilot quite a bit more than I had. The documentary focuses on 9 classmates and looks at how their lives have changed over the past decade. For as much as I was eager to let the contrivances slide, some of them were just absurd. Of these nine people, the nerd who wants a house full of children ends up an infertile virgin, the punk ends up a pregnant army wife, the most driven kid ends up tending bar in Hawaii, etc, etc. There are mild contrivances and then there are CONTRIVANCES!!! Geez, one here or there would be one thing, but this show went out of its way to make sure that no one ended up where they expected to. Oh, and if that weren’t enough, apparently ever major event to have happened in the past decade affects one or more of these students directly. Enron, 9/11, Indecision 2000, you name it. It was honestly kind of fun to see how these events might affect a person’s path in life, but to see them all sitting next to each other just felt forced and self-indulgent. But, then again, most people are boring, so if this pilot employed any accurate veritas at all, I’d have fallen asleep ten minutes in, so I really shouldn’t criticize. I guess my main quibble is that it could have been done with more grace and creativity than it was.

For all its foibles and anvilicious contrivances, the pilot was enjoyable enough. The characters were likable and interesting for the most part, even if they weren’t original any conceivable regard. At the very least, the different format made them feel somewhat different, so that certainly helped. The main problem with this show (aside from the abysmal ratings) is that I only really cared about a handful of the 9 principal characters. As with most large ensemble casts, there are a few standouts, but there’s also a lot of filler. I have a sneaking suspicion that I’d spend half of every episode wishing they would go back to focusing on someone else. It’s like what happened with Grey’s Anatomy. When it got to the point where Yang was the only character I cared about, it was time to cut ties. I watched a whole of story about a whole lot of people that bored me just for the brief moments of goodness. Not. Worth it. In a perfect world, shows cut the dead weight, but more often than not, you just have to sit through the boring crap for a few glimmers of people you really care about.

The characters were decent enough, but the format is what really held the most appeal to me. The flashbacks to 2000 and current events of the past decade were kind of fun and the soundtrack from my high school days was downright eerie. Seriously, every song that would play would trigger this blinding bolt in my brain of “Oh dear god! Junior year!” It was kind of fun on a nostalgic level, but that feeling is immediately tempered by a remembrance of high school as a whole… [insert cold shudder]

All in all, I didn’t hate this pilot or anything, but I’m not real inspired by it either. On a purely soapy level, I could see this being a show I’d keep up with week-to-week, but I honestly have enough soap in my life. I give them credit for trying something a little new, and quite frankly, the format was the strongest part of the pilot, but this just isn’t a documentary that really has me breathless for more.

This pilot wasn’t without its charms, but I think I’d rather go watch a real documentary, thanks…

Pilot Grade: C

1 Law & 2 Orders

Good lord, if I never see another mediocre cop show or legal drama again, I just might die happy. But, until then, I’ll just have to slog through the ever-present deluge of standard clichés that seem to crop up in every single set of pilots for just about every network on the air. Sigh.

At some point, it gets difficult to even assess this kind of show because you’ve seen so many iterations. How can something be interesting if you’ve already seen it? How can a story suck you in if you already know the outcome? After watching enough of these shows, it ultimately boils down to the characters themselves. If you’ve seen one legal drama or cop show, you’ve seen ‘em all, but if there are truly interesting characters at the show’s core, it can make up for a lot of the drudgery of the stories-of-the-week. That’s how The Good Wife made it into my top tier. Sure, I’ve seen a million and a half legal shows in my day, but I haven’t seen characters quite like these and dynamics quite like theirs. In fact, when there are engaging, distinctive characters at the core, it manages to make the A-plots more interesting. I care about this random court battle because Alicia Florrick cares about it. Unfortunately, most shows aren’t The Good Wife, and don’t have such a solid foundation to build on. As such, I don’t really care about the characters and subsequently, couldn’t care less about the mundane details of their daily lives.

To varying degrees, new shows Detroit 1-8-7, The Whole Truth, and The Defenders all fall into this disappointing category.

We’ll start off with our latest cop show…

DETROIT 1-8-7

This is your typical cop show. For what it is, it’s fine. That’s really the primary impression this pilot made and that’s not a particularly a good sign. All the actors do a respectable job and the writers at least tried to make the characters original, but when it all boils down, these are the same standard characters tackling the same standard cases in about the same way. The show had its charms, and over time, I think I could probably grow to appreciate them all on a deeper level, but I was so bored by the A-plot case-of-the-week that it would take a much more intriguing set of character profiles to get me invest. If you’ve never seen a detective drama before, you would probably enjoy this show quite a lot, because honestly, in terms of genre, this pilot did a better job than a lot of them that have come down the pike lately, but given that I have seen cop shows before, and a whole lot of them, I was pretty bored. This show does very little to reinvent this particular wheel and I don’t think I’ll be sticking around for long. This show seems to be aiming for a grittier than the network would allow and they just didn’t know what to do with it after that. Decent effort, but there was really nothing new or innovative about this take on an overdone genre.

Pilot Grade: C+

And now for more legal dramas… you know, because we haven’t seen enough of those…

THE WHOLE TRUTH

To the show’s credit, they’ve taken a bit of a different spin on the old genre and that’s really the only reason the pilot held my interest. This legal drama shows audiences both sides of the case, the trial, and then the truth is revealed. In essence, the show gives compelling arguments for both scenarios and then allows the audience to decide what really happened. It’s not the most novel approach I’ve ever seen, but at this point, even a slight deviation from the norm makes a show seem fresher and better than its counterparts. It’s lovely to see Maura Tierney in good health again, but Her Royal Dourness did very little to bring life to this pilot as the tough and talented DA. Her sobering tone suits her character well enough, but the fact that her character is unlikable to the other characters spills over into the audience as well. There are a lot of characters out there that you love to hate or that you love because they’re neurotic control freaks (or whatever), but Maura’s character is not one of those. But, in all fairness, her glum exterior was nowhere near as irksome as Rob Morrow’s obnoxious over-acting, so she wins some points. Morrow plays the defense to Tierney’s prosecution and goes completely overboard in playing the foil. His brashness and casualness were unconvincing and just plain annoying. I actually said to the TV at one point, “Cool it, Rob. We get it!” Sheesh. The writers are obviously pointing to a future opposites-attract will-they-or-won’t-they (or have they already?) romance between the pair, but I sensed very little chemistry between the two. It's impossible to know if things would have been better with original DA Joley Richardson, but I have an inkling it would. It wasn’t a terrible pilot and it was honestly kind of fun to decide for myself whether or not the defendant was guilty, but I don’t know that I’d want to do that every week. The case itself was pretty thin and while the jury convicted the guy (rightly, as it turns out), there honestly wasn’t enough evidence to convict him. I was willing to give this pilot a “meh” until the final scene when the truth is revealed. Apparently, the murder victim’s bloody cross necklace was stashed at the defendant’s home, only to be found by the guy’s daughter, thereby proving his guilt to the audience. I’m sorry, the police didn’t search the house? It took the daughter all of five minutes to stumble onto this key piece of evidence, but the police didn’t even bother to look? Ugh. If this points to the kind of thought being put in week-to-week on the A-plots, I think I’ll pass, thanks. Based on the ratings, I’m not the only one.

Pilot Grade: C

THE DEFENDERS

This show about a pair of buddy lawyers working kooky cases in Las Vegas had the unfortunate distinction of being the last one I screened. I was already pretty bored with these standard genres, so I wasn’t really in the mood for more. From what I could discern through the law-show-addled fog was a pretty typical law show that was executed decently, if not all that compellingly. I’m not much of a Jim Belushi fan, so that didn’t help, but Jerry O’Connell did a nice job. He seemed to be enjoying the role and played off Belushi pretty well. Once again, the case of the week was pretty thin and I became annoyed at the ridiculous courtroom antics more than amused. I really have to question whether or not either of these legal shows has any lawyers acting as consultants because the legal wrangling is often unconvincing if not utterly absurd. I’m no lawyer, but I watch them on TV and I know when a show is just being lazy. Anyway, the actors were all likable enough and the Vegas bent does add a bit of a different flavor to the show, but honestly, for procedurals that are heavy on A-plot, there needs to be one hell of an A-plot, and that just wasn’t the case here. The best part of the pilot was Natalie Zea as feisty prosecutor/occasional lover to Jerry O’Connell’s character, but near as I can tell, she’s not a regular cast member. All the better for Justified, all the worse for this show. It was honestly no worse or better than most other cheesy law shows, but that’s just not enough for me these days.

Pilot Grade: C-

Undercoverzzz...

When you hear that JJ Abrams has a new show in the works, giddiness ensues. At least it does for me. With Alias, Fringe, and Lost under his belt, it was no wonder that networks were fighting tooth and nail for his newest show, Undercovers, and ponying up ridiculous sums for the privilege. Well, NBC won the rights to the show, but after seeing the pilot, I'm not too sure that makes them a winner...

Undercovers tells the tale of Steve and Samantha Bloom, a married couple who left the spy trade so that they could focus on their relationship and start a catering business. After settling into married complacency for five years, they're drawn back into the world of espionage, or as the characters on this show obnoxiously refer to it, "sexpionage," when a mutual friend/spook goes missing. Good god, if I never hear the term "sexpionage" again, it'll be too soon. What's worse? This show had very little espionage and even less sex appeal, so the term was a misnomer to boot. The basis for this show is the notion that Sam and Steve have settled into coupledom and that the spark and excitement of their relationship has fizzled. Although the pilot wants you to believe that reentering the spy game has rekindled their romance, by the end of the hour, I was more certain than ever that married people are boring.

I'm sure there are married couples out there who aren't boring, but Undercovers did very little to make that case. You'd think that a show about a pair of spies would be titillating and exhilarating, but Samantha and Steve are just plain dull. The stunningly gorgeous Gugu Mbatha-Raw (say that three times fast, or, you know, at all) stars as Samantha Bloom and actually brings a lot of charm and sex appeal to the role. Boris Kodjoe (really? Boris? didn't see that comin'), who plays her husband Steve, on the other hand, does not. I don't know if he simply hadn't settled into the role or if this kind of character just doesn't suit him, but I was unimpressed. For all the supporting cast's assertions that he was the best spy ever and a total badass, he just seemed like a big yawn to me. What's worse, his lack of charisma and personality seriously hindered Gugu's sparkling turn as his wife. There was very little chemistry between the two and practically no sexual tension whatsoever. They really did just seem like a nagging couple who had no spice in their lives. As much fun as that sounds, the pilot suffered all the more for it. I simply didn't care about their relationship one bit and that made it incredibly hard to invest in the storyline and to stay awake.

Indeed, the only real spark to the pilot was Sam and Steve's spook friend Leo, the guy that they've been charged with tracking down. The story actually began with him and almost tricked me into believing that JJ Abrams had done it again. The opening scene, with Leo running from bad guys and hiding information, was the only real exciting, suspenseful note in the pilot. The character of Leo is supposed to play second fiddle to the dynamic duo that is the Blooms, but in all honesty, he's the only character I believed could be an actual spy. Samantha was pretty good as well, but any badassery she brought to the table was watered down by her dud of a husband. If she and Steve had had any real connection or spark between them, even the lamest of scenes would have sizzled. As is, the only sexual chemistry on the show was between Samantha and Leo, who, in a nice yet obvious twist, is her ex-lover. These two shared only moments together onscreen, but instantly had more heat than Sam and Steve did throughout the whole show. I find myself desperately wanting the Blooms to dissolve so that Sam and Leo can run off and play spy games together. I... don't think that was the show's intention. Leo stole the show for me and made for the best part of the pilot (even though he only had a few minutes onscreen). He seemed to be the only one who brought something special to the role and gave his character a snarky, slightly rakish personality that had some real crackle to it. Boris? Not so much. Which is a real shame, because the actor is very easy on the eyes... you know, for as long as they eyes can remain open.

For a show that is so entirely based on one primary couple, the powers that be should have paid more attention to the rapport (or lack their of) between the two. Don't get me wrong, the pair seem to get along well, but not in the sexy, thrilling way the show needs. They struck me more as... really close pen pals. Not lovers, not confidantes, and not even spies. I didn't buy their supposed backstory for a minute. Gugu played it better than Boris, but there was only so much she could do. Since there's no way to not draw Alias comparisons here, I'm going to stop trying. This show is not Alias... in the worst possible ways. With Alias, I believed Jennifer Garner as a spy instantly. I was wholly invested within in moments and completely enthralled by the pulse-pounding gravitas of her situation. With Undercovers? This pair of supposed spies just seems like a couple of tourists. With their chemistry fizzling before my eyes, I at least hoped that their mission would be a thrill, but it fell flat as well. None of the gunplay or fight sequences were believable and none of them seemed to have anything really at stake. The writers' aim at a straight-up dramedy instead of a drama that happens to have some levity to it shot them in the foot. There was no gravity to what they were doing and the super-secret spy mission carried about as much weight as the lame-ass catering B-plot.

Speaking of the B-plot, wow don't care. Sam and Steve are apparently hell-bent on keeping this ridiculous catering side business going with Sam's sister at the helm. The woman playing Sam's sister actually did so with quite a bit of charm and lightness, but I just didn't care about it. Sydney Bristow's home life was exciting and interesting because it examined how Sydney could keep her spy life a secret from the people she loved, people who risked death if they should uncover the truth. In Undercovers, the B-plot just seemed extraneous and inconsequential. The rest of the supporting cast is fine as well, but none of them really grabbed me. Marshall 2.0 was more annoying than the original, but at least he had some personality. Granted, it was the same personality that always seems to accompany the "tech guy" character (with the refreshing exception of Auggie on Covert Affairs), but at least he brought something to the table. All in all, the only character I really latched onto was Leo, and I'm just not sure he's going to be enough to keep me coming back for more.

That the story fell flat for me is disappointing on a number of levels. I love a good spy show and was extremely pleased to see some faces of color in the lead roles of a show for a change, but things just didn't come together here. The writers seemed to be trying so hard to not be Alias and not be Mr. and Mrs. Smith that they ended up with practically nothing. Covert Affairs and Nikita both took cues from earlier spy genre shows, but then they made them their own. They weren't afraid of comparisons and just did what worked. Undercovers would have done better to have stolen the vibe from Mr. and Mrs. Smith and the gravity of Alias wholesale. There would have been people crying foul at the thievery, to be sure, but those same people would probably be tuning in every single week as well. This show had all the bare bones in the world to work with and ended up with something that was surprising dull. It's a good-looking show with ample budget and network support, but at the end of the day, all those advantages were lost on it.

In short, JJ Abrams, this was not your best work. By a long shot. It wasn't a total disaster or anything, but I was honestly pretty bored throughout. I'm not chomping at the bit for more and find myself wishing it weren't about a married couple at all. When the base conceit is boring, all the other bells and whistles in the world can't make up for it. Abrams' other works all had me on the edge of my seat, desperate for more so to see a creation of his fall so flat is a shock and a shame. I'm going to give this show a few more weeks to build some chemistry or create an ongoing storyline that I care about, but I'm cautious. Who knows though, I wasn't all that impressed by the Covert Affairs pilot, but it has actually turned into quite an entertaining show... although in all honesty, I think it had more to work with than Undercovers does.

I really thought this was going to be a winner, but apparently I wasn't the only one who was underwhelmed. The ratings for the series premiere were surprisingly low. Only 8.6 million tuned in and the show scored only a 2.0 in the key demo rating. That's on par with Chuck's current numbers and we all know NBC isn't happy with Chuck's current numbers. Ouch. For comparison, the premiere of Fox's Lone Star (in a much more competitive timeslot, no less) scored a 1.4 in the key demo and is seen as a ratings disaster. Undercovers fared better, but not by much. What's worse, Undercovers was down 13% from the god-awful mess that was Mercy opening in that same slot last season, and Undercovers placed last at 8 p.m. among the major networks. Double ouch. I honestly thought the show would do far better than that, but I can't say I'm heartbroken that it didn't.

At this point, I have better things to watch and it would take a serious turn around in the show to change my mind. Given the base concept, I'm not sure that's possible. It's a well-made show with potential, but I'll be surprised if it manages to suck me in.

Pilot Grade: C-

Raisin' and Runnin'

Comedies are always a little touch and go for me, what with number of insanely unfunny shows out there, so I generally go in with a healthy dollop of apprehension. Fox's new pair of comedies on Tuesdays turned out to be a mixed bag.

First off, the mostly good news...

RAISING HOPE

I wouldn't say this little show will ever be appointment TV for me, but it had quite a bit of charm and enough laughs to make it a nice alternate. This quirky, off-color, slightly trashy show about a kid who ends up with a baby could have been incredibly hokey, but it actually worked pretty well. I'm none too fond of babies, so the fact that I enjoyed this pilot says a lot. The show isn't always polite or high brow or family friendly, but it's not vulgar either. It forges a nice balance of charm and trash, something Greg Garcia always does well with. It relies a little too heavily on sight gags and crudeness for my tastes, but also has quite a lot of heart (without being schmaltzy). Martha Plimpton and Garret Dillahunt are hilarious and the rest of the cast does a good job keeping up with them. Plimpton's line deliveries are always so spot on that even if a line is weak, she makes it work. Her timing is just flawless and she plays the haggard, slightly white trashy mom to perfection. I'm a little afraid it will become a bit one-note in terms of story, and lord knows anecdotes about children aren't really my thing, so if it starts to veer in that direction, I'll probably ditch this one. But, it made a fair showing in its premiere and I'm willing to DVR it for a rainy day or happily stumble across it when my must-watch shows aren't on. It's a bit coarse, but also lovable. What I really walked away from the show with was a true appreciation for what a weird sounding word "Hope" is. Hope. Hope. Geez, say that a few times. If it didn't have any actually meaning, it would be a seriously strange sound to employ. It would be like naming a baby "Snup" or "Flen" or something.

Pilot Grade: B-

And now for the mostly not good news...

RUNNING WILDE

From the original promos for this show, I was afraid. Very afraid. Then I heard that the concept of the show was being retooled and David Cross was being added to the show. Given the creative team behind this one, I was very hopeful they could turn this ridiculous misfire into some real comedy. Well... the pilot was retooled all right... but not nearly enough, I'm afraid. I loved Arrested Development and I adore the majority of the principal cast, but this uneven, unfunny farce about an entitled rich guy learning to be less shallow from a humanitarian just didn't really work. You could tell that Will Arnett and Keri Russell were making the best of what they were given, but that it just didn't quite come together. The concept alone sounds more like the plot of a bad romantic comedy than a great TV series. Seriously, although there were a couple of glimmers of funny, most of the pilot was fairly cringe-worthy. There were so few genuine laughs that I could count them. Total? Two. One of which was really more of a smirk (I'll admit it, the piano gag at the end got me). The only real laugh came when David Cross' character, about to be pulled apart by unsuspecting loggers, attempts to save his life by yelling for Keri Russell to "Tell them I'm white!" Heh. Other than that, there were a lot of moments that were almost funny, but just didn't quite make it. I honestly don't know if the powers that be can turn this into a winner, but if anyone could do it, it would be Mitch Hurwitz, so who knows. At present, this pilot was more ridiculous than funny, and the base concept just doesn't seem sustainable over the long-run. Such a shame.

Pilot Grade: D+

Serious Adverse Events

In a riskier move than most networks were willing to make this season, NBC's The Event is a high-concept, heavily serialized thriller that's trying to be the next Lost, and hoping to hell it's not the next FlashForward. I'd say it falls somewhere in between.

I usually give a brief summary of what a show is about at the beginning of a review, but if you saw the pilot for The Event, you'll understand that that's not going to be easy... Geez, let's see... So, there's this guy played by Jason Ritter who goes on a cruise and then gets on a plane that's going to crash into the president or something, but then it gets sucked into a vortex because there's apparently this group of people who are in prison in Alaska and that's... somehow important. The Event is banking on mystery and and the unknown, so really, viewers walk away from the pilot with a hell of a lot of questions and very little tangible anything. The pilot sought to pique audience interest with a barrage of "Wait, what?" and they succeeded. I haven't a clue what's going on, but I have just enough information that I want to know more.

This pilot revolves around mysterious, unexplained events that seem to center around a few pivotal characters. Every aspect of the pilot aims at giving the viewer just enough information to know that there's a whole lot more to the story. Even the structure of the episode makes for a disjointed narrative. The story is told in a very non-linear fashion, jumping back and forth in time and place, filling in certain gaps while creating others. While I think that approach definitely worked for this kind of pilot, the constant time jumps felt a little excessive and unnecessary. Seriously, every few minutes you'd get "13 months earlier" or "23 minutes earlier" or whatever. They pulled it off, but also wasted a lot of time in the process on a convention that didn't seem entirely necessary. Jumping around this much and from character to character led to a lot of overlap. I had to watch several scenes a few times from a different character's perspective and it got a bit tedious. I realize that it was a stylistic choice, and an effective one at that, but I also appreciate economic storytelling and couldn't help but to think that moments could have been curtailed. I don't know if they just didn't trust the audience to remember where we were in the narrative or what, but the overlap was kind of annoying...

In all honesty, this show seems to trust its viewers a hell of a lot more than most (gratuitous overlap notwithstanding). I appreciated that they didn't hold the viewer's hand while telling this story and let the pieces fall into place without much exposition or explanation. To that end, however, I am a little fearful that this tendency might lead to loose ends and plot holes that simply never get resolved. This is going to be difficult show to write and produce and I certainly hope the creative team has a long-term plan worked out. If they're just making stuff up as they go along, I think they're going to lose track of things. So far, so good.

The pilot was very well-made and definitely had some network support behind it. This is an expensive show that will need to perform quite well in order to stay on the air. The cast is solid and I actually enjoyed Jason Ritter more than expected. I'm not sure how he'll handle anchoring a show, but I suspect this series will have enough going on that he won't have to shoulder the burden alone. Blair Underwood (ugh) is onboard to play his usual arrogant, self-centered man-in-charge (this time, quite literally since he plays the president) which is always off-putting, but I'm hopeful he's not as central to the narrative as others. It was nice to see some familiar faces that haven't been making the rounds lately. Laura Innes (Dr. Weaver from ER) and Scott Patterson (Luke from Gilmore Girls) round out the better part of the cast, although I suspect this is the kind of show that could start sprawling at any moment. Based on the pilot alone, it was had to tell who's going to be pivotal and who's going to get killed off next week...

This is a hard one to wrap your head around in terms of standard TV conventions which makes for a nice change of pace. It's difficult to assess the pilot alone because this is such a serialized concept. At present, the audience has only the barest of bones to work with and no one has any idea what "the event" actually is. I suspect we'll spend the entire first season, and kind of fear that they plan on spending the entire series, figuring it out. I wasn't sure how this show would be received, but it has actually gotten quite good buzz and did even better than expected in the ratings department. Unlike Hawaii Five-0, The Event's audience actually grew over the course of the hour, so not only did viewers not lose interest, the show was engaging enough to draw in additional viewers as it aired.

I enjoyed the pilot well enough and think this show certainly has potential. Will it be the cultural phenomenon that Lost was? Probably not. But it does have a solid (and yet at the same time, amorphous) foundation and has set up enough mysteries to keep the show going over the long haul. My main concern is that they'll be tempted to never answer any of the questions they've asked. If they can manage a pace that's both satisfying and tantalizing concurrently, I could see where this could turn into a real winner.

All in all, I'm definitely intrigued, but I doubt this is going to be appointment TV for me. At least not yet. I want to know more, but I don't feel like I have enough of a basis to be truly invested. Sure I'm curious about how these characters got to be in the situations they're in and want to know what the hell happened to that plane, but I'm not invested enough in these people to be bursting at the seems to find out. As the series progresses, I assume they'll all grow on me and I'll become more attached to what happens to them, but I'm also a little fearful that all the crazy will get in the way of real character development. So far, I'm hopeful, but cautious. The show's real challenge is going to be audience retention. This is a high concept serial, so if a viewer misses an episode, it's highly likely s/he will give up on the show. This isn't a show for a casual viewer, and on a night with an insane amount of programming, I'm a little afraid The Event may become an afterthought. Based on ratings for the pilot, however, it has a better chance of surviving that I anticipated.

I'll certainly be giving it chance and will just have to hope that the writers have an actual plan in mind... winging it simply isn't going to work...

Speaking of work (sort of), the only people who would find the title of this post ingenious are the people who work in my office, but I couldn't think of anything else.

Pilot Grade: B

Big Lie Country

Based on previews, I was intrigued and even a little excited for Fox's new drama Lone Star. Little did I know that this quiet character piece might just be the best new show of the fall. It may not have the flashy bells and whistles of most of its Monday night log jam of competitors, but so far, it's my favorite new pilot of the season.

Lone Star centers around Robert, a young man who's never known anything but the con game, having been indoctrinated by his father from the time he was a boy. He's never had a real job and his only real relationship has ever been with his father... until now. Having lived a life of destroying people's lives, swindling the unsuspecting, and lying to everyone around him, Robert wants something real because for the first time, he has something real. Two somethings, as it turns out. Make that someones. Robert has fallen in love with two women, his girlfriend, the middle class daughter of one of his marks in small town Midland, Texas, and his wife, a member of a wealthy family with infinite financial means, i.e. the ultimate mark for Robert and his father. Lone Star looks at how a man who's in so deep manages to stay above water and even attempts to make things right. Faced with the prospect of having to leave his girlfriend as the walls close in around him, Robert devises a plan to have his wife and his girlfriend too, using one identity to repay his debts to the other.

James Wolk stars as Robert, a man who is living a tenuous double life and has spun an incredible web of lies for each. As with Nurse Jackie or Dexter, there's a constant fear of detection or exposure which imbues even the most ostensibly menial situation with a precarious tenseness. Wolk anchors the show in this role and has been perfectly cast. He's adorable and completely disarming. He's the poster child for good-guyishness and you can instantly believe that he could be the ultimate con man because in a way, he cons the audience as well. You genuinely want him to remain undetected and get away with his crimes, even if it means leaving a path of financial and emotional ruin in his wake. In spite of his and father's schemes, you can't help but sympathize with him. Robert is trapped and the weight of his actions is crushing him. So, in a way, you want the con to succeed, but can't bear to watch the toll it takes.

This show does a tremendous job of enveloping the audience in the quiet desperation of its characters. Wolk is the core of the show, but the supporting cast is also incredibly strong. You feel a twinge of pain and regret each time he dupes them. I could sense my blood pressure rising with every lie Robert told and every time he was almost caught in those lies. You can really feel the weight on his shoulders and it's heartbreaking to see him cracking under the pressure. This show presents a terrifying house of cards that could collapse at any moment. It's not often that I truly feel the pressure on a character this early on, but Lone Star had me invested from minute one. The show is exhilarating and suspenseful in a very quiet, but palpable way and I'm loving it.

The show has set up a very delicate dynamic that seems impossible to maintain. On the one hand, you know that you should condemn Robert for conning people, but on the other, you see how desperate his situation really is. His father has controlled his life from the beginning and has made it nearly impossible for Robert to have real relationships with anyone or escape the con game. Even as Robert stands up to his father, fighting for a real life, you can sense the toxic co-dependence between the pair. Both actors bring a tremendous amount to the table and you believe their dysfunction wholeheartedly. Even if Robert manages to have a real life and work his way out of the hole he's in, he'll being working double time because he has two families. Even his best of efforts at paying back his con victims might not be enough because he's constantly lying to everyone. He likes to think he can go straight, but at the end of the day, he has two wives to juggle, one of whom has a suspicious Jon Voight for a father. Robert is cool and collected on his feet and a phenomenal liar, but you get the sense that Voight and especially his eldest son might be onto his game. It makes for a truly menacing threat that's constantly looming over Robert's head. It kind of felt like Doakes on Dexter, the eldest son of his wife's family being the only person who sees Robert for what he really is.

I think this show had such an impact on me because Wolk does such a wonderful job as Robert. Even in his bald-faced lies, he seems utterly genuine. You can see his heart breaking with every lie he tells and basically just want to give the poor guy a hug by the end of the pilot. He really does love both the women in his life, er, lives, and even turns down a stringless one night stand with a woman in the hotel, finding himself glad the hot water isn't working in the shower. He wants to make it right, but he's in an impossible situation. Everyone can relate to the way lies can spin out of control and the crushing anxiety that comes with it. Each lie necessarily spawns ten more and it becomes nearly impossible to control who knows what to avoid holes in the story. This show was powerful in a small, very personal way. Especially given the current economic situation, seeing middle class families investing in his con work was hard to watch and you have a sick feeling that it's all going to come crashing down. That said, this show was not a downer. Robert has a plan to make things right and a very positive, if slightly delusional attitude toward that end. I can't wait to see if he can actually pull this one off. By the end of the pilot, you think that if anyone could really do the impossible, it's him. He takes "fake it till you make it" to new heights and is a slick enough liar that he just might win.

This show is incredibly well-written, the on air talent is impressive and convincing, and the creative team has done a hell of a job creating a world in which I am wholly invested. My only concerns with this show relate to its long-term success. It's premiere numbers were very low and as far as the concept for a series is concerned, I think the writers have a hell of a task on their hands. Robert's situation is already teetering on the edge and it seems like the walls are already closing in. I'm not sure what this show would do in future seasons because once the jig is up, where do you go from there? I, for one, am excited to find out, but based on it's ratings, I doubt I'll get the chance. I loved this pilot and want to recommend it to everyone, but it's hard to promote a show that has so little chance of remaining on the air for long. If Fox really wanted to give this show a chance, they would have put it on a different night. It's a little show without many big names and I think it simply got lost in the shuffle. But, as is so often the case with shows that I love, I'll stick around for as long as Fox is willing to let me. I'm hoping for a miracle here, but I'm afraid Lone Star's chances of surviving this season are even bleaker than Robert's chances of having a real life.

Such a shame for such a great show.

Pilot Grade: A

Hawaii Five-NO

Sometimes in life you simply have to accept the small failures. Bombing a test, losing a promotion, hell, missing the bus, etc... So please know that I really, really wanted to like Hawaii Five-0, I honestly did. But I failed. Big time.

Now, before the Alex O'Loughlin Legion starts looking for ways to set me on fire, my disappointment with CBS' reboot of this 1970's classic has nothing to do with Alex. Indeed, as with most of his projects, he was one of the best aspects of the show. Certainly one of the prettiest. More than anything, I think this just simply isn't my kind of show. I can see where a lot of people will love the tone and style of this show, but I was honestly pretty happy when the pilot was finally over. And, after taking a quick peek at the ratings, I'm not the only one (more on that later).

I have honestly never seen an episode of the original, so aside from recognizing the theme song, I came into this show with few preconceived notions. As such, the pilot didn't leave me pining for the original or niggling over the minor details that weren't on par with its predecessor. No, I found my self unimpressed with this show all on its own.

I have no idea what the specifics of original were, but in this reboot, we have Alex O'Loughlin as Det. Steve McGarrett, a military/police/badass something or other whose father was murdered (somewhat as a result of McGarrett's actions). In his pursuit of the men who killed his father, he teams up with reluctant partner Scott Caan as Danno, reluctant asset Daniel Dae Kim as the accentily challenged Chin Ho Kelly (seriously, it was all over the place), and token chick Grace Park as Kelly's sexy, badass cousin, Kona. They come together in what seems to be the most convenient of ways and take viewers on a typical action show adventure, complete with all the standard cliches I generally can't stand, starting off looking into McGarrett's father's murder, but then casually ending up chasing down a Chinese human smuggling ring (you know, because it's Monday). Every genre has certain cliches that seem to crop up in just about every iteration. Legal dramas, medical shows, crime procedurals, they all have certain elements that are thoroughly unoriginal and that audiences just have to go with. I don't know what it is, but I guess in those genres, the cliches that come with the territory are ones that I'm more comfortable with and am more willing to let slide. With the buddy cop/ blow-em-up adventure genre? Not so much. It's why I've decided that this simply isn't my kind of show. It was no more hackneyed than any other show in any other genre, but this particular set of cliches annoy me more than most.

I understand that this show isn't aiming to be a searing character piece or a gritty detective show. It's a splashy, Jerry Bruckheimer-esque production complete with all the action, car chases, and explosions you'd expect. Given that that was the show's objective, they succeeded, cheesy cliches and all. Seriously, the dialogue alone had me rolling my eyes within minutes. There's just something about that macho, protect and serve, "sir, yes sir," tough guy tone that drives me up the wall. I knew I was headed for trouble when the governor (or whatever she was--just look for Jean Smart) said something along the lines of, "I heard you were the best of the best." Oh, gag me, please. Again, it's a standard line for this kind of show, but I have to remind myself that I can't let is slide because it's the kind of cliche you'd expect. I skewer other shows for such antics as well. At it's core, there's something fundamentally lame about a show, or a person, or a group that has to tell me again and again that they're the best there is. Show me that you're a badass and you don't need to tell me. Although, I guess the show's attempt at showing me the badassery is what led to the absolute worst moment of the pilot, so maybe that's advice that should only be doled out to capable hands...

In a beyond lame attempt at proving that Grace Park is one kickass chick, we watch her surf in a bikini for a few minutes, then watch her crash into some random guy who looked like he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Cue tough guy skepticism, "Are you sure she's up for this?" Followed by Park walking up the beach and punching Random Guy in the face. Tough guy skepticism neutralized by unjustifiable cylon retaliation for nothing.

Oh, good god, seriously?! That just happened? That was the moment when I decided I had failed in my attempt to like this pilot. I had let a lot of lameness slide up to that point, but that tipped me over the edge. The guy she punched didn't even do anything wrong, really. If he had said something snide or sexist to her or done it on purpose, the punch would have at least made a modicum of sense, but as is? She strikes me as an irrational hot head who shouldn't be a cop in a million billion years. Although, with this show's "shoot first, ask no questions ever" policy, I guess she fits right in. Because, you know, that's what real cops do. I don't mind a high body count, I really don't, but it at least has to make some sense. Maybe not in this genre, but in the universe of shows that I watch, killing a guy has to serve more of a purpose than simply trying to look cool. And yes, I realize I'm probably asking too much of a show like this. Which is sad. I look at a show like Burn Notice, which has even more car chases, gun play, and explosions than this show and I know that it really can be done. I don't need anyone telling me what a badass Michael, Sam, and Fiona are, I can see it. Their gun play and explosions make sense and are necessary to the story. To boot, their body count is incredibly low. The only reason I prefer a lower body count is that it makes deaths a lot more important. When Michael shoots Strickler dead, it's a very big deal. On Hawaii Five-0? It would be just mean it's mid-afternoon. I'm not saying that's a problem for the show, because that's the angle they've adopted, but for me, as an individual viewer, I find off-putting and lame, even if most people find it awesome.

This is a total guys' show with a bunch of boys playing with guns, so if that's what you're into, you'll love this show. Unfortunately, it's not really my bag. It's a slick series with high production values and big, flashy everything. For what it is, it's well-made and well-done. If that's what you're into, you probably loved this. I was unimpressed by most of the pilot, but it honestly wasn't without charm. O'Loughlin and Caan have a nice rapport together and there's a palpable chemistry that makes you believe them as partners. Both actors did a nice job with fairly weak material, but I think Caan was the best part of the pilot. He settled right into the role and made the best of it. He even managed to make the cheesiness of his relationship with his daughter endearing. The two actors played off each other well and managed to temper the predictability of the odd couple antics that ensued. The rest of the principal cast was considerably less likable, but they had even worse material to work with, so it's really not their fault. Seriously, the writers on this show really didn't seem to trust their actors or their viewers. The plot exposition was clunky and the backstories were thin. I suppose they could be planning to build on this foundation, but I wasn't interested enough to care. As for the audience, it's always annoying when something happens on a show and they flash back to an earlier incident to remind viewers why something is important. It's really annoying when the earlier scene was like, 3 minutes ago. Yeah, shockingly, we actually remember McGarrett's father calling him "champ" a dozen times two scenes back. Ugh.

Long story short, I don't know that I'll even be giving this show a second episode. I had very high hopes going in, because I genuinely do enjoy a good shoot-em-up once in a while, but Hawaii Five-0 fell pretty short. I just took a look at the ratings for last night and it seems I'm not the only one who wasn't bowled over by this reboot. Everyone, including me, thought this would be an insane smash hit. It opened strong (with a 3.8 key demo rating, which is solid), but its ratings were nowhere near what I expected. Seriously, in the key demo rating, it lost a tenth of a point from its lead in. It's lead in was Mike & Molly. I'll just let that information sink in for a second... What's worse, the show actually lost viewers after the first half hour. That generally doesn't bode well for the next week. I honestly think this show will ultimately do just fine, but it isn't the mind-blowing hit that people anticipated. It easily won its timeslot, so assuming it retains a fair proportion of that audience, it should be safe. I imagine it will lose a fair percentage of viewers next week (including this viewer, most likely), but then will stabilize in a range that CBS is comfortable with. I sincerely doubt Alex or his fans have anything to worry about.

I'm really pretty bummed that this was such a let down for me. I'm guessing it has more to do with my show sensibilities than anything else, but I was thoroughly disappointed and found myself cringing at the dialogue and rolling my eyes at the cliches. When the final fight scene draws to a close and McGarrett is on the ropes, he employs both. "Before you kill me, I think there's something you should know. Your brother died the same way you did." BANG! Oooh, that was badass! Oh, good lord, so lame. I wanted to like this one, and did my best to give it every available chance, but when the episode finally ended (thankfully), and my DVR asked me if I'd like to delete the recording, I scrolled up to "Yes, delete" and literally thought in my head, "Gladly." Such a shame. I'm going to try to give this show one more week to appeal to me, but I'm not holding out much hope.

In short, if this is your kind of show, it's really your kind of show. If it isn't, you were probably as disappointed as I was.

Pilot Grade: C-/D+