Final Week-In-Review for January

It's that magical, magical time again. Friday. Here are my ever-growing thoughts on all the crazy that went down this week.

Best Advertisement: the Parents Television Council’s condemnation of… well, anything
As you know, I was thoroughly underwhelmed by the water-down, tamed and lamed US version of the British classic, Skins. But, as with so many shows before it, even the cut and censored version annoys the ridiculous, puritanical Parents Television Council… which makes me want to give the show another chance. Anything that gets their dander up gets a few extra points in my book. Heh, I’d have loved to have seen their take on the real version. They’re just so spectacularly stupid to think that their condemnation with cause fewer people (especially kids) to watch the show. Nothing made me quite so happy as when Gossip Girl used quotes from the PTC as their ad campaign, because really, that’s exactly what the PTC is doing. They’re basically telling kids exactly what they should be watching. Well, I’m no kid, but I’m suddenly much more likely to watch the US version of Skins… even if it could never hold a candle (crack pipe?) to the original.

Best Kiss: Castle
How could I not put this on the list, I mean really. Sometimes characters have great theoretical sexual chemistry, but then it’s all awkward and uncomfortable in reality. Not the case here. The steamy Castle/Beckett lip-lock wasn’t awkward at all. They’ve always had a really flirty, friendly kind of vibe going, so it just makes good sense that the sexual chemistry works as well as it does. Best part of all? Castle’s flustered reaction afterward. Hehe. Oh, Nathan Fillion. Always good for a laugh.

Best Remake: the US version of Being Human
I’ve actually had this one saved on my DVR for over a week. After the spectacular failure that was the US remake of Skins, I was understandably apprehensive about yet another seemingly unnecessary remake. Well, much to my delight and surprise, Being Human is actually good. Really good, I dare say. The major difference is that unlike Skins, the US Being Human didn’t simply take the exact same characters with the exact same names and film a pilot that was almost scene for scene the exact same show. I spent the Skins pilot feeling like I was listening to a bad cover-band. Being Human took the same base concept and characters, but made it their own in a lot of little ways. The US version starts several months prior to the UK version, so it was able to establish these characters in a slightly different way. By using this tactic, it felt like I got to see something new, but also got to see a bit of an origin story for characters that I kind of know. I say “kind of” because the US versions of Mitchell, George, and Annie are similar in substance, but quite different in tone. The US Mitchell (renamed Aidan) is more cool and casual than his enthusiastic UK cousin. The new George (now Josh) is more sardonic than hysterical, and the new Annie (Sally) is more down to earth than flighty. It gave the show a slightly different vibe and made it seem fresh and new, even though at its core, it’s essentially a show I’m already familiar with. They have tweaked all the original characters (the new Herrick (some of the shoes that would be hardest to fill) is awesomely played by Dexter alum Mark Pellegrino, who gives the character a new persona), and new characters have been added. George/Josh has a sister who, at the end of part 1 of the pilot, is in an incredibly precarious situation. To the show’s credit, after only half a pilot, I’m kind of dying to see what happens. They established these characters in a way that didn’t seem like a bastardized rehash, but rather as an inspired reimagining. I was surprised at how much I loved part 1 and I can’t wait for part 2. I was so sure I would hate this, but at the end of the day, it felt like a different kind of experience than the UK version. The original is clearly superior in many many ways, but I’m surprisingly excited to see how the US team makes it their own. I’m as shocked as you are, but this one seems to be a winner whether you’re a fan of the British series or not.

Best Vindication (the blast from the past edition): Sex and the City
Okay, so this comes about a decade late, but as you all know, I’m catching up on shows that I missed back in the day. I’ve really been enjoying Sex and the City (a hell of a lot more than I ever would have thought). Anyway, I just watched the episode where Carrie runs into Big’s new wife and she’s determined to look fabulous at a luncheon they’ll both be attending (you know, so she can save face and one-up the woman who won Big’s heart). Well, after Natasha (Mrs. Big) can’t make it to the luncheon to see Carrie looking divine, Carrie feels like she lost… until she gets a card from Natasha thanking her for attending the luncheon and lamenting the fact that she was sick. Nothing says vindication quite like poor English skills… “‘I wish I could have been their.’ T-H-E-I-R.” This of course means she has to immediately call Miranda with the good news about Natasha. “It’s a good thing she got married, because she’s an idiot!” Ha! Seriously, it’s like when you see a facebook status or a blog post from someone you hate and you notice that the grammar is horrendous. It just makes you feel good inside. Like pie. (Please keep in mind that I never proofread, so I’m sure I’ve had more than a few foibles in my day. It’s only when it’s someone I want to destroy that it’s truly satisfying…)

Charmiest (?) Third Time: Shameless
After a so-so pilot and a thoroughly disappointing episode 2, Shameless appears to have finally found some footing with episode 3. Engaging, funny, emotionally resonant, and interesting, the show’s third outing proved to be their best yet. I think the more the show focuses on the kids and the less screentime it gives to William H. Macy, the better the show. Fiona’s the real backbone of the family, but I think Lip and Ian are quickly becoming my favorite family members—especially as a pair. This show has been incredibly uneven thus far, but I’m hopeful the writers recognize what they have with these two and starts gearing the show in their direction. I really loved that Lip was more than willing to take a beating for his brother and thought nothing of it. The dynamic between the two of them is the best part of the show, and Ian is quickly turning into the best character.

Most Recent Discouragement from Getting Married: Perfect Couples
I’d say “biggest discouragement,” but that’s a really, really high bar, so we’ll stick with “most recent.” Perfect Couples was perfectly irritating. I made it to the end of the pilot, but just barely. I’ve said before that married couples are apparently boring (at least that’s what TV would have me believe)… Well, I’ll see my “boring” and raise me a “completely grating.” Painfully unfunny, too. Yeah, not adding this sucker to my rotation.

Best Immunity Prize: White Collar
Sure, winning immunity on a cooking show is fun and all, but at the end of the day, who the hell really cares? I much prefer White Collar’s brand of immunity because it comes with an origin story, not just a pass. All I can say is, it’s about time they gave us some background. I can see where they might have wanted to hold off till this late in the series (although I’m hearing that was a network decision, not a creative one), but with a set up like White Collar’s, I think it should have come a long time ago. Up till now, the audience basically knew nothing about Kate and spent every single episode of the show being slightly annoyed that Neal is so obsessed with this random face who has had no character development whatsoever. I defy you to find a fan of this show who was truly upset by her getting blown up last season. This show needed to establish her character in a way that had the audience truly invested in her and in her relationship with Neal. Last night’s flurry of flashbacks helped fill in a lot of blanks, but in terms of Kate, I think it might have been too little too late. It was nice to see that she can speak and all, but I still didn’t really buy the character. I think a different actress could maybe have invigorated the role, but the girl they got was just dull (entirely too dull for someone like Neal to really care about). I had always tried to give the show the benefit of the doubt and created a Kate in my head that was enigmatic, charming, and elusive, but now that I see her in the flesh? Meh. Neal can do a hell of a lot better. It makes the fact that he got arrested for her all the more irksome and ridiculous. Really? For her? Blanda Blahington? The rest of the flashback offerings were outstanding, however. It was great to see how Neal met Mozzie (hilariously toupee’d and goatee’d), how he became the man his is today (sort of—I’d still like to see where he originally came from), and how he and Alex got involved. Man alive, I love Alex. Sooo much more than Kate. She actually has an edge and has some genuine chemistry with Neal. The interplay between them is always sexy and fun to watch. Anyway, the writers did a lovely job keeping the continuity consistent with what we already know and nodding at little tidbits of knowledge (like the Raphael) that were seemingly irrelevant until now. Nicely done, show. Very nice.

Best Moniker: Bonds. James Bonds.
Once again, kudos to White Collar. I love that Neal’s FBI name (you know, before he and Peter actually met and became friends) was something so badass. You could see that it was killing Peter to admit that Neal was so impressive as to deserve such a moniker.

Darkest Matter: Breaking Bad
Yeah, so… started watching Breaking Bad on DVD. Damn… that show is dark. Good, but dark. I’m only a couple of episodes in, but it’s seriously reminding me of that episode of The Black Donnelleys where they have to dispose of some dead guy in a barrel. I’m as desensitized as it gets, but that doesn’t make watching guys dispose of a body pleasant to watch… it just makes it bearable.

Least Tempting Show Saved on My DVR: Chuck

Deadliest Custody Battle: Southland
Well, if True Blood is mommy and Southland is daddy, I think we now know who the judge sided with on the Kevin Alejandro custody trial. As is so often the case, mommy is keeping the kid. I realize that Kevin Alejandro is a regular on True Blood, so something had to give with his gig on Southland, but wow. That’s rough. And unfortunate on any number of levels. I actually kind of adored Detective Nate Moretta and seeing him killed like that was brutal. What’s worse, his partner Sammy is still with us. I’ve hated Sammy for a good long while (mostly because of his grating relationship with this wife), so to see Nate bite the bullet while Sammy walks away? Ouch.

Subtlest Simpsons Reference: Criminal Minds
It’s the little things that count. In terms of subject matter, Criminal Minds is about the unfunniest show on the planet, so when you’re watching an episode that slips in a joke, it’s much appreciated. As Garcia is looking into the deaths of convenience store owners in surrounding states, one such unlucky victims information displays on her computer screen with “Name of Victim: Apu, N.” She didn’t actually say the name, so you had to be paying attention, but it’s still nice to have something funny inserted into the "torture porn" that is this show.

Saddest Countdown: The Vampire Diaries
“One… Two…”
Three. I guess that’s more of a count-up, but still. I was never a huge fan of Rose, but last night’s heartbreaking death really hit me. I guess the good news is that after suffering for the better part of the episode, Damon helped her die peacefully… in his arms… as he created a fantasy in her head. Still sad, but I can think of worse ways to go. If that weren’t sad enough, Damon has to go and break my heart again at the end. Poor guy just can't catch a break.

Quotes of the Week:

“One million PTC members can’t be wrong.”
--Matt Webb Mitovich from TVLine.com, regarding the US version of Skins, which he included on his list of shows worth watching this week. All of sudden, I’m inclined to agree.

“Look, I may not have a badge, unless you count the chocolate one Alexis gave me for my birthday, but I’ll tell you this, like it or not, I’m your plucky sidekick.”
--Castle, from, well, Castle.

“Well, if you need me, I’ll be across the street in the bushes, stalking you. [pause] I saw you smile!”
--Steve, trying to win Fiona back after royally screwing up on Shameless.

“Wow, I don’t even need a corkscrew.”
--Neal, regarding Peter’s cheap choice of wine on White Collar.

“Well, that answers my question. Jeff Winger is sexy even in a coffin.”
--Dean Pelton, admiring Joel McHale on Community, the way all good people do.

“Dude, you have no idea how messy things are about to get.”
--Birkoff, assessing the total ass-kickery that’s about to ensue when Nikita and Michael square off against a gaggle of security guards.

Was it good for you? Or the show?

Well, it's been 2 1/2 years in the making, so I'd best start there. Pretty much since minute one of the pilot, the writers of Castle have been teasing a romantic relationship between the show's leads (a la so many other great romantic dramedies of yore), and to the writers' credit, they managed to give quite a bit without completely destroying the dynamic of the show. Many a show has been ruined by the will-they-or-won't-they couple finally getting together, so I was a bit apprehensive going into last night's episode, but I was also pretty confident that the writers wouldn't let me down. They've played the Castle/Beckett relationship (Bestle? Cackett? Caskett? And we have a winner.) far better than other similar pairings (House and Cuddy, Booth and Bones, etc) and they didn't tease for five seasons before giving viewers something to work with.

I have a feeling that a lot of viewers were probably a bit annoyed with the set-up for the kiss. Don't get me wrong, there's no way the ire is on par with shows that pretend their characters are going to get together in the previews, only to find that it was dream sequence, a fantasy, or a psychotic break. That said, I think there are audience members out there who are just dying for Castle and Beckett to hook up and live happily ever after. I am not one of those viewers. I enjoy the sexual tension as much as the next person (quite frankly, it's the cornerstone of the series), but I'm to see their relationship grow in ways that won't derail the series. As mentioned, the tension between the two is pretty much the foundation for the show, so to have them become a couple would certainly be a game-changer. I would be interested to see what the writers would come up with if they were to become an actual couple, but I don't think we're there yet. But wait, you just berated those other shows for teasing audiences for 5 seasons, and now you're saying you think 2 1/2 seasons is too soon? WTF? It's hard to explain, but with Castle, it's just different. On Bones and House and others, the possibility of a romantic pairing is like some unmentionable, taboo elephant in the room that everyone knows is there, but isn't willing to talk about or even acknowledge most of the time. With Castle, it's more like everyone absolutely adores the elephant in the room, knows it's there, and winks and smiles at it every single episode. That probably didn't clarify anything at all, but for me, it a small, but important distinction.

The Castle writers have done a great job changing up the dynamic of the sexual tension over the course of the series. Not only do their colleagues and the viewers know that there's some inevitable sexual chemistry there, but so do Castle and Beckett themselves. I think this is where that slight difference really makes a difference. At various point, both have been in relationships with other people, but they've also both accepted the fact that they adore the other person. Sure, they might still playfully dismiss their friends and family when they point out the obvious, but it's not the flustered denials of other shows. With Castle, it's usually a cheeky misdirect more than anything. It's a hell of a lot of fun to watch and I was afraid that culmination might tarnish things. Well, with the way the writers played this, I think it will only make things more interesting and squee-worthy than ever.

It's for this reason that the kiss set-up worked for me. Sure we've all see that kind of set-up before (We have to make out so as not to blow our cover!), but I think they'll pulled it off nicely. They gave just enough and held back just enough to elevate the sexual tension rather than quash it completely. Again, the writers didn't exactly reinvent the wheel here with the construct, and I can see where some viewers might feel a bit cheated, but it worked for me, and most importantly, for the story. The kiss was maybe 10% "fool the bad guys." I think it was abundantly clear to Castle and Beckett (as opposed to just the audience) that this was more than just a ploy to combat baddies. Which is exactly what the writers were aiming for. Beckett had been through a hell of a lot by that point in the episode (Castle too, as long as we're counting), and Castle had been by her side the entire time, truly her partner in just about every aspect of her life. Sure the sorta cliche set-up may have given them an excuse, but in the end, I think she just really wanted to kiss him the way he's always wanted to kiss her. It was a satisfying way to advance their relationship without unhinging the show.

For me, the intimacy between Castle and Beckett has always been deep and playful at its core, so having them actually, physically get together has never been an essential in my book. While the will-they-or-won't-they of other shows drives me nuts because that seems to be all the writers have to work with week-to-week, with Castle, it's more like, well-of-course-they-will-so-let's-make-it-as rich-and-meaningful-an-experience-as-possible. The show finds ways of building intimacy in a subtle way that matters. I loved that they slipped in first names during the episode. Castle only rarely calls Beckett "Kate" and Beckett almost never calls Castle "Rick," so to put both of them into the episode really helped lay a foundation for the kiss that we all knew was coming. Somehow, calling each other by their first names seems is an intimate act in and of itself. It's kind of adorably Jane Austen-y. Beyond that, they made a point of having the two of them discuss what they are to one another in a very real way. They're partners, both on and off the clock. He's not a cop, but he's someone she trusts. He's much more than a plucky sidekick to her and she's far more than a muse for him. Unlike other shows, the Castle writers aren't dangling a far-off possibility in front of audiences, they're allowing for the slow burn of inevitability. No one asks if they'll ever get together with this show. They just will. Which is what makes the build-up more satisfying--you know that it'll actually pay off. With Bones and House? Good god, it was always a big giant they-might-but-they-might-not, and run into the ground for so damn long that by the time anything actually happened, viewers were sick of the whole affair. Man alive, by the time House and Cuddy hooked up, I was so over it that I didn't even care.

The kiss was important, so it naturally got top billing in this blog post, but I think the narrative build-up was just as important, and honestly, was what I was looking forward to most about last night's episode. Unfortunately, where the kiss came together in a way that worked remarkably well, the murder investigator of Beckett's mother got a bit muddled. I appreciate the fact that there's an elaborate framework of criminals and dirty deeds that led to her murder, but by the end of the episode, it all seemed murky in a heavy-handed way. It started to feel like the writers were trying so hard to add more layers to the mystery that I lost track of it. Wait, so the drug lord guy hired that other guy to kill her and that cop guy to cover it all up so... the mafia guys... wait, what? I realize that this mystery isn't over and that there's a lot of ground to cover between here and the truth, but honestly, by the end of the episode, I was only mostly sure I even knew what the guy who ended up in jail supposedly did. The story just didn't seem to savor any of the twists and turns, it just threw them in as quickly as possible. I think this was a case of cramming too much story into too little time. At the 45 minute mark, I was sure this would at least be a two parter. With Ryan and Esposito in peril, and the mystery no where near its conclusion, I was ready to settle in for the long haul and let the many layers of the murder unfold over time. Well, I was sure wrong. No, they wrapped things up in an hour, but not in a way that was all that satisfying or illuminating. Indeed, all I really seemed to learn from that episode about Beckett's mother's death is that I don't know a damn thing about it. To a certain degree, I'm guessing that's exactly what the writers had in mind. They wanted to build a network of bad guys and evil motives that would make the fact that "this is so much bigger than you think" really hit home. To an extent, it worked, but to another extent, it unsettled what little we knew and replaced it with a deluge of information that doesn't lead us anywhere at all. I'm totally fine not knowing the details yet, but there were so many characters crammed into last night's episode that I find myself caring less, not more. I can't remember who half those guys are, if they really matter, or if they're going to matter at some point down the line. I knew when the previouslies took us clear back to mullet-country that it was going to be a twisty episode, but I wasn't prepared for having so little to hang onto in the end.

Maybe if I watch the episode again, something will solidify, but at present, it all just seems like a whirlwind of faces with no names. Wait, so who was that guy and what did he do to whom and why? Was he really the sniper, or is this yet another misdirect? Were this a serial, I'd be fine with the jumble of thoughts, but Castle is, quite lamentably, a procedural, which means that we might not get another episode with any kind of insight for ages. I'm hopeful that Beckett's promise to the nameless bad guy she put in jail will ring true. Maybe if she really does visit this guy on a regular basis, the show can have an ongoing C-plot about her mother's murder and we won't have to wait until who-knows-when to follow-up on this storyline. Seriously, this story arc only crops up on occasion, and by the time it circles back around, I've forgotten most of the finer points. At least this time, I don't really have many finer points to lose.

It wasn't an unsuccessful episode by any stretch, but it would have been a lot more successful if it had been a two-parter (at least). I wish this show had more serial elements than it does. They do a good job balancing the A-plots and the B-plots, but it's the ongoing C-plots that get neglected. Somehow Burn Notice makes it work, so I have hope that Castle can do the same. With Burn Notice, you have a procedural client-of-the-week (A-plot) and some sort of family or relationship storyline (B-plot), which is similar to Castle. The difference is that every episode of Burn Notice also has a C-plot looking at why Michael was burned, by whom, or how. My wish would be that Castle would make Beckett's mother's murder the C-plot every now and again, because frankly, I don't know that I want to wait till the season finale to get more information. Of course, there's always the risk that having such a C-plot would temper the playful mood of the show, which wouldn't be good, so maybe the writers know what they're doing after all. This show is my palate cleanser after so many heavy shows, so I'm happy to trust the writers, even if it doesn't always come to fruition the way I might hope.

I'm excited to see where things go from here. The writers left the door open for everything to happen or for nothing to happen. I'm confident that things between Castle and Beckett will only get saucier and cheekier, and I'm more than fine with that. My only hope is that they get back to the murder mystery before I've forgotten what little I think I know. Sigh.

Week-In-Review

I honestly thought it was going to be more difficult than this to come up with random thoughts for my weekly round-up... When I stole this feature from all those other sites, I assumed they actually had to work at it, but it's actually a little too easy... (This is all code for: Sorry for the length... this sucker got away from me.)

Worst Tech: Chuck
I’m sorry, but who the hell puts a beeping sound on their spy gear? People who want to get their agents killed in a wine cellar, that’s who. Really, it didn’t occur to anyone in the tech department to add a vibrate feature to their microchip detector thingamajig (because spies never need to sneak around or anything)? But if it doesn’t beep at them when they get closer, how will they know they’re in proximity?! A swift bullet to the head my give them a clue…

Best Accident: How I Met Your Mother
Although I totally saw the pocket dial coming when Marshall said he had a voicemail from his dad, it was still a happy accident and the least annoying instance of a pocket dial on record. Hats off to the Foley artist for the pocket dial recording, by the way. Spot on. (He probably just used a message he already had saved on his phone. Or simply asked anyone on the planet to use theirs.) It’s not easy for a comedy to tackle something like a devastating death, but this episode really made it work.

Biggest Tease: Castle
Mean. Just plain mean. So yeah, after offering up the “most titillating preview of next week’s episode” after last week’s outing, I was met with a rerun last night. I was unduly irked. When a preview tells me “in 2 weeks” I always notice, and I certainly didn’t remember being outraged after last week, so I literally queued up last week’s episode to see if I’d somehow missed it. No, those saucy minxes simply put, “On the next all new episode of Castle…” or some other such bait and switch. Boo. I guess they figured they’ve been dangling the kiss carrot for 2 ½ years now, what’s one more week? Cause for revolt, that’s what.

Most Apparent Style Over Substance: Shameless
It was only the second episode of Shameless, but it already felt like the writers were spinning their wheels. I couldn’t decide if they were simply so focused on trying desperately to shock viewers that they simply forgot to have any real narrative drive behind the episode or if they’ve already run out of road, but I got kind of bored. They seemed to be having a hard time filling an entire hour, and an event harder time shocking me, so they let scenes drag on for entirely too long. So far, the only thing that has been truly shameless is their economy of narrative. If this is the going trend for the show, I might not be hanging on for very long…

Best Awards Show: The Golden Globes
Given that TV is my specialty, and that I see maybe 2 movies a year in theaters, the Oscars holds very little appeal to me. Same goes for Grammys. Seriously, I’m more attuned to the nominees at the Tonys, which is really saying something (something fabulous, I suspect). This is why I enjoy the Golden Globes so much. Sure it’s a ridiculous farce, but for once, I’m actually curious in the outcome and I have an informed opinion. Not all those who deserved to win actually won (or were even nominated), but with Ricky Gervais at the helm, I don’t think anyone really cared who won. He’s the perfect host for such a laid back affair, particularly because his shtick is more roast than host. Introducing Bruce Willis as Ashton Kutcher’s dad kind of made my night.

Best Sartorial Surprise: Trent Reznor looking sharp and dapper in a suit at the Golden Globes. Seriously, as he and that other guy were walking onto the stage, I couldn’t help but think, “Uh, where’s Trent Reznor?” Between the designer suit and the short haircut, I think we all did a double-take… No that wearing Prada doesn’t say “I want to fuck you like an animal,” but you know what I mean.

Worst Sartorial Surprise: Just about everyone else at the Golden Globes. Who knew the 80’s were still back… and with such a shoulder-paddy vengeance.

Most Perplexing Lack of Dye Job: Miss America Teresa Scanlan
Seriously, you’re competing in the ditzy dingbat Olympics, the pinnacle of all a beauty queen could ever hope to achieve in life (besides trophy wifedom, of course), and it didn’t occur to you to get your roots touched up? Oh sure, you remember the hemorrhoid cream for the bags under your eyes and the kitchen spray to keep your bikini stuck to your ass, but you didn’t look in the mirror long enough to see that they’ll be placing your crown on some bleached blonde tendrils hovering over your, shall we say, humble roots? Wow.

Biggest Fundamental Flaw: Harry’s Law
You know you’re in trouble when the only real, huge, show-threatening flaw in your legal procedural is the fact that it’s a legal procedural. The first half of the pilot was actually pretty good… but then, inevitably, there was a second half. The characters were quirky and funny (Kathy is a pro and I love Nate Corddry) and the set up had some promise, but the actual courtroom scenes and legal antics were absurd and annoying. I kept thinking that the producers must not know a damn thing about how the law actually works and have never even seen a show that knew. But, to my dismay and surprise, I found that David E. Kelley was at the helm, so not only has he seen shows that knew about law, but he’s produced them (The Practice, Ally McBeal, etc). So I guess the real flaw here is amnesia… Worst of the worst? “Turns out, the only one we needed was the judge…” Of course he was the only one you needed! Judges doe the sentencing! We all already knew he was guilty! And so did you! This was never about getting a “not guilty” verdict, and yet, when the verdict was announced, you looked so surprised, Kathy! Boo.

Most Unnecessary Remake: the US bastardization of Skins
For a show like Skins, you’d think bastardization would be a good thing (semantically speaking), but believe me, this is yet another pathetic attempt at revamping an excellent British show for primetime TV. In all honesty, I couldn’t even bring myself to finish the first episode. Scene for scene, the story is very similar to its superior British counterpart, but in execution, it’s yet another American embarrassment. The US version is water-down and tamed to the point where it doesn’t even make sense. The greatest of America’s sins when it comes to adopting foreign shows is with censorship, and with Skins, censorship is the death knell. It made this version seem completely inauthentic and lame. I’d say it was akin to a fourth grade class putting on a production of Rent. Or, how about a Glee version of Rocky Horror… Dear America, please stop. Seriously though, the British version is gritty, sharp, realistic, ballsy and incredibly creative. If you’re looking to add such a show to your rotation, seek out the British version. It’s on Netflix Instant Play, so it doesn’t get any easier than that. It is far better than the ersatz crap that MTV is offering. Trust me.

Best Way to Distract a Jury from the Presumed Nazism of the Defendant: Throw a Scientologist into the mix, a la The Good Wife
Man alive, this show is exciting, intricate, cerebral, sexy, and funny as hell. When their client is thought to have Nazi sympathies (he was actually a WWII buff who participated in reenactments, but that didn’t make the pictures any less incriminating), the defense comes up with a plan to give the jury someone new to hate by going after the religion of one of the witnesses. I honestly couldn’t think of what religion they could possibly attack that would deflect some of the presumed Nazi sympathies… Oh my god, I about died laughing when it was revealed to be Scientology. Ha! Nice job, Kalinda. I love her. No wonder she was one of Cary’s top concerns when deciding to take a new job. He tried to play it off all cool, but trust me Cary, no one would fault you for accepting a job simply because Kalinda was there.

Most Linguistically Ridiculous Final Straw: Off the Map
I tried to give this sucker one more episode, but after about 10 minutes of its second outing, I called it quits. Much like Matt Saracen not knowing what a “gringo” is (and apparently never having owned a TV or driven by a restaurant before), now Mamie Gummer seems terminally stupid. Apparently she couldn’t be bothered to learn what the Spanish word is for “sick” prior to moving to South America to provide medical care in a rural clinic, and somehow managed to get through more than 20 minutes on the job without picking up that little tidbit. It’s ridiculous on about 87 different levels. I’m pretty sure that the main thing esta enferma on this show is the writing. Annnnd, we’re done. Stop. Delete. Buh-bye.

Quotes of the Week:

Alicia: “Yes, your honor, I’m all laced up and ready to go.”
(The Good Wife, where Alicia manipulates the judge with hilarious enthusiasm, and more than a few sports-related colloquialisms. The true context would take forever to explain, but I seriously busted up. You had to be there.)

Gloria: “Why the whoosh? Where is the email?! It sended! Make it come back!”
(Modern Family)

Abed: “We should really start learning people’s names.”
Jeff: “I agree with the brown Jamie Lee Curtis.”
(Community)

“She has eaten 7 couches and 2 chairs.”
(My Strange Addiction, regarding a woman who had been eating the yellow foam cushions of furniture for over 20 years.)

Dorothy & Associates

It's getting to the point with USA Network programming that I could probably just cut and paste the better part of past reviews into my new reviews and no one would be the wiser. Simply swap out a few key terms and the rest would carry over straight across. Last night's premier of USA's newest brand-compatible show Fairly Legal followed in the grand tradition of other USA shows, right down to the shoes. I'm no footware aficionado, but I'm 90% sure those were Piper Perabo's black and red heels I spied... only now they're on the feet of a woman who clearly can't walk in them (visions of linebackers danced in my head).

I can respect a network that knows its brand and keeps playing a card that wins, but I do wish they'd step out of the box once in a while... That said, their latest addition seems perfectly suited to their schedule and, as with all their other shows, is pretty well-done, even if this one is more feather-light than ever. Fairly Legal doesn't strike me as having the same kind of potential as other shows, but all in all, it was fine.

Starring Life alum Sarah Shahi, Fairly Legal is USA's first foray into the world of the legal procedural. I was dreading the courtroom possibilities, assuming that if David E. Kelley can't make a law show work (Harry's Law needed more Harry, less law), USA network would probably founder. To my mild surprise, Fairly Legal takes the angle of legal mediation, not trial work. I can't say that mediation sends my heart all a flutter or has me tingling with excitement, but it is an admittedly new (if minor) take on an old routine. At the very least, it allowed the show to operate without me nitpicking any legal foibles and absurdities, giving me time to attack her wardrobe (good god, she wore this one outfit for almost the entire pilot that was difficult to look at).

Anyway, Shahi stars as Kate Reed (because there simply aren't enough Kates on my shows), a lawyer-turned-mediator who works for her late father's law firm and butts heads with her mother-in-law/fellow mediator Lauren. I've never been a huge fan of Shahi's, but she was personable and non-annoying, even if not a particularly memorable performance. Here's hoping she really finds the character and grows on me (hey, if Piper can do it, anyone can). Rounding out the cast, we have Kate's ex-husband Justin, a state's attorney/Kate's occasional boot-knocking partner, and Leo, Kate's assistant and token minority actor on the show (seriously, I really hope his role on the show is more substantial than it looks, because lord knows USA network could use a punch of diversity on it's nearly all-white programming--and yes, I realize that Shahi is of Persian and Spanish descent, but she's playing a Caucasian character here). As per usual, the cast is likable enough, and they play into USA's penchant for dramedies adequately, but so far, no one really stood at as anything unique or truly special.

Episode to episode, Fairly Legal will showcase Kate's amazing ability to make warring parties compromise, all the while juggling a complicated personal life. Same routine, different job. I'm not generally a fan of story-of-the-week A-plots, but USA has a better track record than most. I was actually pretty surprised at how interested I became in the cases Kate mediated in the pilot (even in spite of a healthy dollop of schmaltz and soapboxing here and there). I can't say it's a profession I'd necessarily want to watch every week, but they did a respectable job drawing me in. As is so often the case, however, I suspect I'll be a lot more engaged with the ongoing storylines. The pilot set up personal and professional dynamics that overlap constantly, but usually in logical ways. The actors all seemed to gel pretty well together and Kate's chemistry with ex-husband Justin was slightly cheesy and incredibly convenient, but also fairly charming and believable.

Speaking of slightly cheesy, but charming, there was a running motif throughout the pilot that established each of the main cast members as characters from The Wizard of Oz, as told by Kate's ringtones. Predictably, the Wicked Witch is her mother-in-law Lauren, the Cowardly Lion is Leo (get it, Lion, Leo), Kate's non-series-regular brother is the Scarecrow, her ex is the Tin Man, and her late father is, er, was the Wizard. That leaves Kate as Dorothy. It was a bit heavy-handed, but it really worked for me. I liked that the writers took a motif and ran with it in an unobtrusive, clever way. Kate left the world of lawyers behind and became a mediator. A lot of the faces and places look the same, but in terms of her career, she's definitely not in Kansas anymore. The show didn't hit you over the head with it, but made it a clear personality quirk that I liked quite a lot. I think it worked the best when, at the end of the pilot, Kate's ex-husband shows up at her place, only to be told that she already has company, and responds with, "Found a new Tin Man?" It helped establish their relationship in terms that the show had been building since the first minute of the episode and was a charming way for Justin to show his jealousy, rather than a blustering speech about the terms of their relationship. The terms have already been defined, and the reasons for the split are pretty clear. Kate hates conflict and wants everyone to win, and Justin is a district attorney following the letter of the law, no matter who gets hurt. "If I only had a heart" indeed.

Aside from Kate's personal relationships, however, the pilot didn't really set up much in the way of an ongoing story arc. For as well-done as the cases-of-the-week were, the show doesn't seem to have a ton of narrative force driving it. I'm not dying to see what happens next week, even in Kate's interactions with the people in her life are fairly interesting. I'll definitely give this show a few more episodes to draw me in (it usually takes USA shows a few episodes to really hit their groove), but I have to be honest. Legal mediation just isn't all that fascinating to me. It's a nice change of pace from hard-boiled courtroom dramas, but I think it'll be difficult for the writers to maintain. As with Royal Pains, I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll get bored with the A-plots and that the B-plots won't be quite enough to keep me going. Let's just say the fact that they paired these two shows together isn't lost on me and probably isn't a good sign. Shows like Burn Notice, Covert Affairs, White Collar, and In Plain Sight have concept that are exciting enough, and ongoing storylines that are intriguing enough, that I'm still intrigued even after several seasons in some cases. Legal mediation? Yeah, it's not quite espionage, but I'm willing to give it a chance.

Overall, Fairly Legal was fine. I can't point to anything specifically wrong with it, but it's hard to point to anything that was exactly right either. Aside from a peppering of cheesiness (that came out wrong), including a fairly corny scene of Kate mediating a robbery at the coffee shop she happened to be in, the pilot was well-made and produced, even if it isn't exactly going to turn the TV world on its ear. I guess I just wish there had been something to grab onto that was truly special and memorable...

Maybe if Kate were mediating conflicts in Oz, we'd be in business...

Pilot Grade: C+

Sex and Death (and Latin!)

As any frequent theatre-goer knows, any production worth its salt leads to a narrative climax just before intermission. Well, Spring Awakening took that notion and ran with it (to a little place called Literalberg). Let's just say they're worth a hell of a lot of salt...

Hot on the heels of the startling revelation that, in addition to watching TV, I actually read, comes one of my other passions in life: live theatre. You'd think I wouldn't have time for such things with my viewing schedule being what it is, but Saturdays need love too. I actually see a pretty ridiculous number of plays and musicals throughout the year, not to mention my newfound love of ballet. I think what this all really means is that I need to quit my job so that I can focus on what truly matters... Sigh...

Anyway, as referenced prior the inevitable tangent, I saw Spring Awakening this weekend as part of Broadway Across America's current slate of traveling productions. I had no real intention of writing about it, but I had an absolute blast at the show and can't keep my stupid mouth (er, fingers?) shut. Could I point out problems with the show if I had to? Certainly. But in the end, I was having way too much fun to care.

Had I gone to the production intent on reviewing it, I don't think I would have loved it as much. In retrospect, there certainly were some faults with the show, which, had I been viewing with a critical eye, probably would have tarnished the experience. If you're looking for flaws, there are certainly a few, but I think this is an instance of the sum being greater than its parts. I'm guessing this is at least somewhat true of most critics, but it's a lot harder for me to simply allow a show wash over me when I have to take mental notes about the pluses and minuses.

It's weird looking back at Spring Awakening in hindsight. It's a coming of age story about a group of sheltered students who begin to embrace their burgeoning sexuality in clear defiance of their parents, teachers, religious morality, and societal norms. Sooo... not exactly pushing the envelope in terms of basic themes, but in execution, the show is pretty far from what the average musical lover is used to. On poster just outside the theatre, in big bold letters (sans serif, so you know they're serious), it warned that the production contained: partial nudity, sexual content, and strong language. In other words, three of my top reasons for attending. My other reasons were far more pedestrian. I had seen a performance at the Tonys, which piqued my interest, and also, this is the show that Lea Michele and Johnathan Groff appeared in before Glee took over the planet. It would have been interesting to have seen the two off them perform in this capacity, but alas. It was a remarkably sexy show than ran the gamut from the simple exhilaration of a kiss to unabashed simulated sex between the show's leads (very salt-worthy, indeed). It may have been a bit over the top, but for a show like this, I'm honestly not sure such a distinction even exists. It was entirely organic to the story and the actors did a fine job pulling it off (among other things).

It's hard to look at Spring Awakening in terms of your standard musical, because is simply isn't. Having much more the vibe of a rock concert than The Sound of Music, Spring Awakening didn't conform to many of the standard musical components, which for me, was a nice change of pace. With a minimalist set and basic, innate themes, the show seemed more focused on musical expression than anything else. The characters would regularly sing into the microphone and completely rock out, quite contrary to conventional norms. They seemed almost as aware of the fact that they were in a musical as the audience was, which gave it all palpable sense of immediacy. Hell, some of the audience was actually onstage for the duration, so for them, that sensation was compounded. The format blurred the fourth wall and made me feel much more involved with the show than I generally do with a production. What's more, the show was surprisingly funny, with sexual innuendo, bawdy undertones, and flat-out ribaldry seeping into nearly every exchange. It felt like there was an inside joke (inside the gutter, at times) that we were all in on. Nearly every scene elicited a smirk, a chuckle, or even a blush. Except for, of course, the show's more somber notes, during which you hear a phone on vibrate (the modern equivalent of a pin dropping). It had a wealth of narrative rises and falls, and while not every shift was as graceful as I would expect, maybe this wasn't supposed to be a graceful experience.

In attending the production purely as a viewer, I just soaked it all in and enjoyed it. I really loved the show as a whole, but can't say it was perfect by any stretch. If I were being objective, and brutally honest, I'd say the narrative was uneven and predictable, with far too much of it falling into the category of pure pathos. Several individual storylines seemed a little too convenient and weren't paid due attention. The minor storylines were often abrupt, barely given enough time to having a beginning, middle, and an end, thereby diminishing the emotional impact of what was happening. Too boot, the acting for several characters could have been a lot stronger. Although it was clear that they were all fully committed to their roles, the sometimes stilted dialogue fell flat at times. In spite of all these irksome aspects of the show, I absolutely loved it. Go figure.

In the show's defense, when it comes to a musical (especially one with this format), I'd rather have a straight-forward story that's concerned with themes more so than details. Citing precedent, I'd rather have a simple, melodramatic story with exhilarating music than a story that's so overly complicated that you can barely follow it. I'm looking in your direction, musical adaption of Charles Dickens' Great Expectations. It was much more your standard musical, and suffered because of it. They simply tried to fit too much story into too restrictive a format. Cramming 600 pages of narrative and lengthy musical numbers into 3 hours is nigh-impossible. Clearly. Seriously, I shouldn't have to dig out long-suppressed memories of 10th grade English to follow the story. Even having actually read the book (one of the few Dickens' tomes to bear such a distinction), I still spent half the show trying to nail down who that guy was and why he did what he did to... that other guy... and why the hell it all matters for Pip. Kati and I had a sporting chance, source material in tow, but poor Annie just had to struggle through. Had the musical numbers been better, it all would have been more forgivable, but even the music was lackluster.

In spite of Spring Awakening's flaws, the actors were fully invested in their roles and gave 100% from start to finish. That makes up for a lot with me, and compensates for acting inefficiencies to a high degree. They seemed to be having as much fun performing as I was watching. There's nothing worse than watching a production where the actors would clearly prefer to be attached to a different production. I recently saw a stage production of Dracula that should have been excellent, but which had a cast that seemed utterly bored... which in turn made me bored. It's one of only two productions during which I bailed at intermission. I have to assume the actors wished they'd had the same option. You know, call in the understudy for second half...

Whatever bizarre alchemy made all these components come together, I'll never understand. The show seems to have had as many foibles as triumphs bit by bit, but altogether, it really worked. It was sexy and funny and dark and anti-establishment, often all at the same time. The music took what is ostensibly a so-so story and completely electrified it (ofttimes, quite literally). I'm confident that this isn't the kind of show that everyone will love, which actually makes me love it about 20% more. They took a lot of chances here, and I appreciated it. Not every element worked entirely on its own, but as a whole, it kicked ass. I've been stuck on the songs since I left the theatre and can't get them out of my head (in a good way).

Most problematic song to get stuck in your head (and start singing to yourself) while at work? Yeah, that would be Totally Fucked. Which, I don't know if you've met work, but it's a song that has a tendency to spring to mind...

Week-In-Review

By the time Friday rolls around, I've generally watched a hell of a lot of TV. I often have little opinions that don't warrant an entire post, so I'm adding a new feature to my blog: The week-in-review. Enjoy! (And I'll try to keep it to shows that actually aired for the first time this week, as opposed to something that happened on Lost five years ago.)

Best Guest Star: Fred Weller for The Good Wife
You’d think this nod would have to go to Leelee Sobieski for the very same episode of the very same show, but she elicited little more than, “Oh, it’s Leelee Sobieski. Huh.” Whereas Fred Weller brought forth hand clapping and an excited “US marshal Marshall Mann!!! Eeeee!” Hats off to The Good Wife for bringing back guest stars when you least expect it and in the twistiest and most conniving possible ways.

Worst Performance by an Inanimate Object: the cape

Worst Performance by an Animate Object: Mr. "The Cape”

Funniest Indicator of a Sexual Relationship: Ian Gallagher and his boss on Shameless
Upon entering the convenience store and seeing his brother and his brother’s boss awkwardly stocking shelves, Lip realizes who Ian has been sleeping with by simply noting their attire. You’d guess that his assumption was based on disheveled shirts or missing articles, but no, it’s all in the shoes, with Ian and his boss each wearing one white and one black sneaker. “You’re fucking him?!” Oops. Aside from the fact that his brother is sleeping with his boss, which Lip didn’t know, Lip also didn’t know for sure that Ian was gay. Well, he does now.

Most Titillating Preview for Next Week’s Episode: Um, CASTLE!
Yeah, so being the TV maven that I am, I had seen a picture of Castle and Beckett either just before or just after a kiss, so it isn’t a total surprise here, but I’m still quite excited for it (what with it having been building for the past 2 1/2 seasons and all). I'm also a little afraid of it… I’m confident this will simply make things more interesting and complex, but there’s always a chance that it will simply quash any and all sexual chemistry they once had… It’s happened before…

Most Justifiable Reason for Screwing-over your Colleague: Southland
After listening to recovering addict Office Dewey spout off about AA, rambling incessantly, and make racist remarks for an entire episode, Michael Cudlitz has finally had enough after he rails against a couple of female police officers for having the guts to call him on his shit (hats off to Regina King for finally smacking him in the face). After listening to Dewey call them “bitches” about a dozen times, Cudlitz does what anyone would do. He stops at a convenience store for coffee (where a fellow unit happened to be), waits for Dewey to go inside, then drives away (with Ben McKenzie in tow). While I had to feel bad for the poor officer who got stuck with Dewey after that, it’s hard to argue this one. It made me love Cudlitz character about 300% more, even if it meant that Chickie got screwed. Heh, the look on Ben’s face when Cudlitz told him to get in the car was classic.

Characters I’d Most Like to See Trapped in an Episode of I Shouldn’t Be Alive: the three newbs on Off the Map
As is, Off the Map is your standard Shonda Rhimes medical melodrama, only with more ferns. You really want to shake things up and reinvent a genre? Shatter someone’s pelvis, give them malaria, trap them under boulder, and then have them treat patients.

Best Lie: Cary Agos (aka Logan Huntzberger) on The Good Wife
Okay, I’ve always loved Cary a ridiculous amount, but his most recent turn as conniving ASA, lying and manipulating his way to a confession, has me positively gleeful. I don’t generally enjoy seeing Will and Alicia get played, but that was awesome. And then calling in US marshal Marshall Mann for back-up? So awesome.

Second Best Lie: Antonia on Top Chef
Upon being told that if her teammates Jamie and Tiffany hadn’t sucked so much, Antonia would be in the winners’ circle and would have won the whole challenge (including a trip to Amsterdam), Antonia starts to tear up. The judges predictably ask what the tears are for. The real answer is, “I can’t believe I missed out on my ONE CHANCE to win a challenge AND an effing trip to Amsterdam because dumb and dumber over here don’t know how to cook!” but Antonia quickly covered with, “I… just don’t want to see anyone go home.” Sure you don't. But, nice save. I was sure she’d shoot herself in the foot or make an ass of herself, but she managed the situation incredibly well.

Most Overdue Dismissal: Speaking of Top Chef, hey look, it's Jamie!
I’m not sure when exactly the show decided to start rewarding terrible chefs who constantly screw over their teammates, but apparently that was the order of the day for this season. Jamie has been a pathetic waste of space for the past several weeks, but only just now sent home. Either she’s secretly the daughter of the executive producer or she’s sleeping with him. That’s really the only possible explanation.

Least Convincing Argument for Participating in "Sports": Lights Out
Man alive, I wanted to like FX's new drama Lights Out, I really did, but the show seems to operate in universe where people actually care about boxing and manage to think of it as anything but a couple of morons beating the crap out of each other. I can suspend my disbelief as much, if not more, than the next person, but that's going too far. Show about a guy who can bring people back from the dead with a single touch? Mmm, okay! Show about vampires and werewolves and witches? Why not! Show where boxing is cool? Whoa, whoa, slow down there, people. Honestly, it was probably a very good pilot with strong themes and a specific perspective, but I was so annoyed at the notion that boxing is a sport that it was hard to care. The dialogue and acting weren't spectacular, but overall the show would have been fine if it had focused on just about any other sport. Seriously, I watch Friday Night Lights and the football doesn't bother me.

Been There, Sutured That

You know, most writers have a signature style that you can pick out or at least suspect when watching something new, but with Shonda Rhimes, it's not so much a signature as a lazy copy and paste job. After watching her latest venture, ABC's Off the Map, it's more apparent than ever that Rhimes only has one very specific card to play, so she plays it again and again and again.

All the elements that worked in her previous shows (the once-awesome Grey's Anatomy and the befuddlingly successful Private Practice) are present in her new show, and had I never seen her previous work (or any other medical drama ever), I probably would have enjoyed this show quite a bit more than I did. As is, I spent the entire pilot remembering that I had seen this dog and pony show before, with the exact same dog, and only a slightly different pony (a less exotic pony with duck lips, as it were).

As with its predecessors, Off the Map focuses on some eager new doctors as they make their way into the medical world. But this time, it's completely different because they're working in a small, rural clinic in the jungle. You'd think the new location would engender a lot more differences than it did. I don't know if I've just seen it all too many times before, but I was pretty bored. If you've seen one medical drama (especially a Shondaland medical drama), you've seen them all. Try as they might to give the cases-of-the-week urgency, personal investment, and excitement, I just couldn't seem to care all that much. Sure the mode of injury was a bit splashier than usual, but the basic fundamentals of a doctor show bled through every scene. A-plots in general aren't really my cup of tea, so when it comes to a procedural or medical drama, it has to boil down to character development and ongoing arcs and themes. As with the set-up, there wasn't anything specifically wrong with the characters, I just felt like I'd seen them all before.

The real highlights of the regular cast are Mamie Gummer (Meryl Streep's daughter, most recently guesting on The Good Wife), and our good friend Zach Gilford (whom you know better as Matt Saracen from Friday Night Lights). They both did a great job embodying eager young doctors (but with heartbreaking baggage, of course) who have found themselves in some of the most difficult working conditions around (although to be honest, for as rural as this clinic is, it seems surprisingly well outfitted). I can't remember their character names (or anyone else's for that matter), but these two are up and coming power-players who made the most of what they were given... which sadly, wasn't a whole hell of a lot. Or maybe it was. I honestly can't tell anymore with this genre, but it all seemed pretty hackneyed and overly-familiar to me. Their character designs did little to break the mold, and somehow the writers actually managed to make Matt Saracen kind of a dick, but the actors both added as much warmth and quirkiness as they could to make them the best part of the pilot. It was really nice to hear Matt Saracen without the mumbly teenage Texas drawl, even if what he was saying was eye-rollingly trite. Weird, but nice. (I think I forgave his character a hell of a lot of his unappealingness simply because I adore Matt Saracen...) The rest of the cast is all likable enough, with the hunky Dr. McDreamy character bringing quite a lot of charm and sex to the table, but for me to really invest in such a predictable, formulaic show, I think I'm going to need a whole lot more in terms of character.

Clearly, Off the Map is unabashedly Grey's Anatomy in the jungle, with the usual cast of beautiful young doctors embarking on a medical adventure with equally beautiful mentors. It pretends to be set "somewhere in South America," but it's quite obviously Hawaii. Sadly, trying to identify exactly which Lost location they were standing in was one of the most entertaining aspects of the pilot. It was also a bit distracting, to be honest. I was trying to care about whichever random patient they were treating at the moment, but it always ended up in the realm of, "Boy, that guy's arm looks really bad, I wonder if he'll-- Hey, look! It's Hurley's golf course!" I realize that logistically they couldn't actually film in South America, and the Lost locales are gorgeous and always nice to see, but at the very least they writers could have come up with an actual location for the story. Instead, all we get is the vague "somewhere in South America" card on the screen and some similarly vague tidbits about the location like it's 200 miles from the nearest hospital and that there are mountains and cliffs to avoid. Even that would be easy to overlook if it didn't present some serious logistical nightmares for the narrative. In a desperate attempt to reinvent an overdone genre, I fear the writers may have shot themselves en el pie.

You see, when you're in the middle of nowhere South America, 200 miles away from civilization, you're going to be surrounded by a local community that speaks Spanish (or any host of indigenous languages). Even this would be surmountable if the principle cast were multi-lingual, but instead, the writers have gone out of their way to make sure that none of the new, hot young doctors speak even basic Spanish. It was only the pilot and I was already annoyed. Don't get me wrong, I'm aware that ugly Americans expect everyone to speak English, but for them to uproot their lives and move to South America without even having learned travel Spanish is absurd. Quite frankly, for people in their twenties, who grew up in the US, most from major cities, to not speak any Spanish is in itself ridiculous. I kid you not, as one point, cocky party-boy doctor Matt Saracen (so basically, the Alex Karev of the show) was called a "gringo," which is a term he had apparently never heard before. Really, show? You expect me to believe that a twenty-something guy from Chicago has never heard of a "gringo" before? You have got to be kidding me. He also didn't know what "trece" meant, which, I'm sorry, if you're moving to South America, you're going to at least learn basic numbers.

Again, if you really want your characters to be that utterly clueless, fine, that's up to you, but its going to make your job a hell of a lot harder and make watching your show a hell of a lot more annoying. Most of their patients will logically speak Spanish in the local community, so in order for the doctors to actually be able to speak with people, they either need a translator (not exactly an ideal narrative set-up) or you're going to have to have patients who just so happen to speak English. Which is essentially what they did for the pilot and is what I suspect they'll be doing all series long. The main patient in the pilot was an American tourist injured on a zip line and the main patient in the next episode appears to be an English-speaking adventurer or wildlife scientist or something. How incredibly convenient! We're in the middle of nowhere and yet we're surrounded by English speakers who just so happen to need serious medical intervention! Who knew this location that's so obscure it can't even be given a specific name was such bustling tourist attraction!? Suffice it to say, the language barrier is going to be a problem. A major problem. I realize that having the barrier adds to the "fish out of water" aspect of the show, and the ugly Americans notion, but I'd much rather read subtitles than watch the majority of the principal cast making ridiculous hand gestures at people and talking too loudly. For the sake of the writers, the show, and the audience, those characters can't learn Spanish fast enough.

Overall, it's a well-made show with beautiful scenery, but very little spark or sizzle (or, you know, logic). It had all the basic elements that a formulaic network medical drama always has, but very little else. For as much as the writers were clearly hoping that the exotic location would invigorate a tired genre, for me, a guy bleeding to death is a guy bleeding to death, pretty foliage notwithstanding. The characters were all very pretty and likable, but not all that interesting. The pilot rather ham-fistedly imparted some backstory for each of the new young docs, but none of those stories struck me as particularly unique or intriguing. I found myself wishing that the actors had been given a lot more to work with, because frankly, the cast is extremely talented and could have made this show something really special, given the chance. As is, they were unceremoniously plopped into a genre, from which there seems to be no escape... even in South America.

If the medical drama is a genre that you aren't completely sick of, you'll probably enjoy this show quite a bit. They did very little to reinvent the wheel here, so if you're looking for anything beyond your typical, predictable doctor show, you should probably look elsewhere. I often think that when it comes to programs about doctors, lawyers, and cops, there's simply nothing left that can be done. I think to myself that the genres have been so overdone that there's no way to invigorate them again. But then a show like Mamie's most recent credit, The Good Wife, comes along and proves me wrong. In the proper hands, even the most exhausted of conceits can be given new life, going well beyond the standard cliches and instead giving audiences one of the best shows on air. What I'm trying to say is that it is possible for the medical drama to thrill audiences once again, but Off the Map fell short. I'm going to stick around for a couple more episodes for Mamie and Matt Saracen (who will hopefully get better material to work with in coming weeks), and I'd like to think that something about the show will grab me, but I'm doubtful. Even the best of characters are going to have a hell of time overcoming the confines of Shondaland. Methinks Mamie and Matt would be better suited to a different show (especially Matt, who plays adorable better than douchey).

Pilot Grade: C

So Close

It comes as no surprise that when looking for solid additions to one's viewing schedule, network TV is generally not the place to look. It's gotten to the point where I fully expect even the worst that HBO or Showtime has to offer will be better than 90% of what network TV dishes out. Maybe it's the freedom that comes without restrictions, maybe it's the decreased emphasis on ratings, maybe it's cable's attractiveness to real actors, but it's probably a melange of factors. Whatever the reasons, I find that even when I'm not completely bowled over by a Showtime or HBO program, I know that it's worth giving it time because odds are, it'll come through for me.

So let it be with Shameless, Showtime's latest drama. I wasn't utterly mesmerized by the pilot, but it was a solid hour of programming and I'm intrigued enough to invest. Again, even without knocking my socks off, it's still far better than what the big four have offered up so far this midseason.

Shameless is based on a British series which I've never seen before. Were I familiar with the show's predecessor across the pond, I have a feeling I wouldn't have enjoyed the pilot as much, so I guess it's a good thing this is one British series I haven't sought out. Yet. The American revamp was good, but just... didn't quite hit a home run. I suspect the British version probably does. If I ever get the time (you know, after I've caught up on all 622 serieseses that are currently in my backlog), I'll have to add this one to the pile.

Starring William H. Macy as the alcoholic train wreck single father of a gaggle of similarly unruly children, Shameless focuses on the dynamics of a family that goes beyond dysfunctional and verges on utterly shameless, hence the title. I say "verges on" because for all the writers efforts to shock audiences, the only aspect that really pushed my buttons was a reference to animal abuse that I can't believe made it into the pilot. I guess the full-frontal nudity, raunchiness, drug abuse, language, and perversity are what most people reacted to, but for me, it all just seemed like they were trying way too hard to be obscene to be genuinely obscene. If a show is truly radical and your characters are truly shameless, you shouldn't have to work so hard to prove it. I wouldn't say the concept was unsuccessful, but at times it really did feel like the writers simply made a laundry list of cultural taboos and scandalous behavior and then peppered them in throughout. Again, for all their efforts, the only scene that made me blink was younger son Carl's apparent penchant for torturing cats. I guess maybe that was the writers attempt at upsetting the unshockable people out there. If it was, mission accomplished, but I still can't believe Showtime let it slide. Anyway, it's beside the point, and wasn't referenced again in the episode, so fingers crossed it never gets mentioned again.

William H. Macy is the biggest name attached to the show, acting as patriarch of the Gallagher clan, but after seeing the pilot, I wouldn't say he's the heavy-hitter of the program or its anchor. Emmy Rossum, playing eldest daughter (and essentially, mother) of the Gallaghers is the real shining star of the series thus far. Especially given the economic climate of late, seeing a daughter working several jobs in order to take care of her younger siblings hits pretty hard. Father Gallagher is a lush who spends the better part of the pilot unconscious, so Fiona has to take over and manage her five young charges. Rossum does a lovely job as Fiona, giving her a hell of lot of strength and resiliency, while still retaining her warmth. She has hard edges, to be sure, but she isn't bitter. There's a very clear and growing sense of resentment she feels toward her father (with good reason), but she holds herself together because she has to.

Seeing Fiona's circumstances and her determination made the appearance of Steve, a charming, well-off suitor, a somewhat welcome, yet predictable turn. It was nice to see someone appreciate her for her (as opposed to the financial support she provides or mothering), but it had a definite Pretty Woman bent to it that was a leery of. While the show easily could have turned this into your typical "rich guy sweeps beautiful street urchin off her feet" whateverness, thankfully, they put a nice twist on it. Sure, he has money, but it's not from a trust fund or swanky job. No, in actuality, he's a car thief. I figured there had to be more to him than a silver spoon, but I honestly didn't see the thief angle coming. It made him a lot more interesting and made his infatuation with someone like Fiona make a lot more sense. I have a feeling that their relationship will provide the central narrative momentum, even in the dysfunctional family dynamic is the true basis for the show. The family seems to provide the context for these characters, and there's a fair bit of interaction among them, but each seems to have his/her own issues and is invested in individual storylines. Each of the two eldest boys (Lip and Ian) has well-founded and unique characteristics, but the youngest three children had little screentime and even less character development... thankfully. There really isn't a ton that can be done with very young children, which is why it comes as little surprise that they don't form the basis for the show. Until they hit puberty, I'm more than happy for them to take a backseat to the teens and adults. The teenage brothers have a great vibe between them and played off each other in a very warm familiar way. Like a good punch to the shoulder. The dynamic created between them by younger brother Ian's newly discovered homosexuality was engaging and realistic, managing to retain a hearty amount of brotherly love and protectiveness, while still acknowledging Lip's discomfort in seeing his brother in a new light.

Many of the individual issues explored through these characters are nothing new (sexuality, class, autonomy), but the show has rooted these familiar themes in some interesting people, so I found myself investing. As with other aspects of the show, the writers seem to have had good ideas, but they just didn't quite come together entirely. I'm hopeful that as the series progresses, the show will gel more fully. From just the pilot alone, the fundamentals of the show were close to hitting the mark, but not quite there yet.

The primary problem was with a lot of the dialogue. The verbal interactions were a bit too "on the nose" for me. The link there gives a good explanation of what I mean by "on the nose," so I'll keep this quick, but I basically mean that the characters said exactly what it was they were thinking, even if that's not what actual people would say. Particularly regarding the interplay between Fiona and Steve, there was too little subtlety to be completely believable. When it comes to a new relationship especially, people generally mask their feelings and try to hide their motives. It felt like the writers of the show had some things they wanted to say about life, so they simply had the characters say it flat out. They wanted to make a statement, and rather than making the audience work for it, they simply told the audience exactly what interpretations they should make. It wasn't oppressive, but it was particularly noticeable in Steve's dialogue. I found Steve to be one of the more charming characters on the show, however, so that made it easier to overlook. Nevertheless, I like to make my own inferences and draw my own conclusions about a show, its characters, and their motives. Shameless spelled things out for me a little to specifically for my tastes. I like having to actually try to figure out what someone is thinking or why he/she did or said something. I appreciate subtlety, but I guess it was kind of silly for me to expect a whole lot of nuance in a show called Shameless.

Overall, this was a difficult show for me to really boil down. I enjoyed it, and I'm intrigued for more, but it wasn't a home run either. At the end of the day, I think it's a solid premise with tons of potential, but it was just a "little too" some things and "not quite" other things. It sounds like ridiculous nitpicking, but I honestly couldn't point to one major thing that left it short of greatness. I think it could certainly grow into greatness, but with the pilot, the writers just seemed to be throwing in everything they possibly could. They seem to have maxed out on quirk in every possible way and that seemed to endear the characters to me less rather than more. I appreciate characters who are unique and quirky, but I don't need to be neck deep in it every minute. Again, here's where some subtlety would have gone a hell of a long way. Had they alluded to certain quirks or perversities, I think they would have been a lot more interesting, and as far as I'm concerned, considerably more shameless. The unknown and the unsaid are almost always a lot scarier/kinkier/more shameful/interesting/shocking than what is straight-forward and announced, and I would have liked to have been able to explore the possibilities these characters present beyond what was given.

At the end of the day, it was a very well-made pilot with a curious concept that hit a lot of the right notes. It certainly wasn't perfect, but neither are the Gallaghers. The real shame here is that it didn't quite click with me on every level, but it clicked enough that I'm happy to give this one time to grow. Having never seen the British incarnation, its hard to know how successful this remake is, but going in blind, I found that it had a lot going for it. It'll be interesting to see just where things go from here. I have to salute the writers for being brave enough to write a cast of characters that aren't always likable, so even in spite of the show's deficiencies, it's certainly a different experience. Where a lot of shows pull back on a character's less-than-charming qualities, Shameless celebrates them and that's commendable. I hope this show finds its footing and starts trusting its audience a bit more, but with those being the primary quibbles, it shouldn't be too much of a stretch.

I think Shameless will be a case of "Come for the William H. Macy, stay for the Emmy Rossum." Macy is the big name, and the ostensible draw, but Rossum stole the show. With her at the helm, I'm confident the niggling reservations I have can be ironed out for this promising new drama.

Pilot Grade: B-