Cooking Show Round-up

I've only recently become a cooking show fan. In the past, it annoyed me to no end that I couldn't legitimately judge the competition, because, well, until taste-o-vision becomes as popular as cable, judging a show based on eating is nigh impossible. Then, fortunately, I stumbled on to the original Japanese version of Iron Chef and found that the drama and the anticipation is the tastiest part of all. (That, plus the fact that the English dubbings on Iron Chef were completely hilarious... "Ooh, I find this dish very complex. The flavors make my mouth happy!" Solid. Gold.)

Since then cooking shows have found their way into my regular rotation. I don't think they'll ever be appointment TV exactly, but they make for nice alternates (what I call the 3 or 4 other channels I can watch while I'm watching my main program) during commercial breaks and the last bastion of hope during a programming drought. The Food Network has all sorts of fine shows to offer, my favorites being Good Eats; Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives; and the ever-popular food network challenges. I only caught the last half of last season's The Next Food Network Star, but it was enough to suck me in.

Henceforth, The Next Food Network Star has made its way onto my list of summer shows. It's kind of a sad list, what with summer sucking the life out of TV and all, so it's sadly close to the top of the list. After Top Chef ends next week and until Project Runway premieres in July, it'll have to do. It premiered on Sunday and looks to have all the usual trappings of competition reality show. I'm not a huge reality show buff, but desperate times call for desperate measures...

The first competition spoke volumes to the character of each contestant and I think everyone who watched already has some people to hate, with Lisa "I like to think I know what I'm talking about, but actually don't" at the front of the pack. Oy. My first thought was, "What kind of an idiot thinks she's going to succeed with a cullinary approach that involves deconstruction and community service?" but my thoughts soon turned to, "What kind of an idiot cooks wearing high heels?" This idiot does. And she is proooud of it. "Not only did I cook a fantastic meal, but I did it wearing a lovely outfit and heels!" Umm, good for you? Do the heels make the food taste better somehow? They were the color of oatmeal, so I seriously doubt it. In the promo for what happens later this season, it looks like she takes a major spill in the kitchen thanks to those heels, so, yay. ;) Not that I'm anti-heels. Far from it, in general. But seriously? Who does that?

Aside from the criers, the whiners, and the bouncy blondes, there were a couple of genuinely likable people that I'll be keeping my eye on. That being said, the guy I liked the best seemed to think it was possible to make potatoes gratin and bake a meatloaf in under 30 minutes, so I'm guessing he won't be staying around too long.

I wasn't particularly impressed by Nipa, but it looks like she pulls and America's Next Top Model "I can't do this anymore" style exit, so that should be fun to watch. I kind of doubt she'll receive the same Tyra-style freak-out that Tiffany did in cycle 4, but one can dream.



And then there's Top Chef.

Oh, Top Chef. I know ratings are nice and it always helps to have a bad guy in the finale, but keeping Lisa (wow, that name is just not winning any friends on cooking shows these days) around and sending Antonia home was just unforgivable.

Lisa, the surliest, bitchiest, least pleasant chef on the show, has been in the bottom two 6 times out of only 10 or 11 eliminations. That didn't tip you off to the fact that she sucks? Not at all? They both had a rough go in this last episode, so the tie should have gone to Antonia, and everyone knows it. But, Lisa makes for a good villain for the finale, so she gets to stay around. Admittedly, it will be nice to watch Stephanie and Richard destroy her in the finale, but still, it just wasn't fair to Antonia.

Oh, and the best part of all, Lisa's comments to Stephanie and Richard after Antonia left (Antonia telling Stephanie to "kick her ass" as she departed). Lisa actually had the gall to say, "I realize you both think the wrong person went home, but a 'Congratulations' would have been nice." Poor Stephanie and Richard are sitting there like they got punched in the stomach by the judges decision and she comes up with that! What a bitch. I hope she gets eviscerated in the finale. Which, is exactly what the producers were going for, I expect. Damn producers! And I played right into their hands!

I have no patience or pity for any contestant on a reality show who "isn't there to make friends" but who is there simply "to win," so clearly Lisa falls into that category. If she were any less pleasant to be around... actually, I'm pretty sure that isn't possible, so I'll just nip that sentence in the bud before I can't figure out a way to end it.

For shame, Top Chef. I really hope Lisa doesn't win. Come onnnn, Stephanie! Or Richard! Or the sound guy! Or the cameraman!