Oh, just give him the damn cupcakes already!

This clip cracks me up every time. It's so sad! And yet... completely hilarious. Poor dog. All he wants is a cupcake! Come on, just give it to him!



What kind of heartless monster could look at that sad little face and NOT give him one?! Just one little cupcake! Oh, wait, Victoria Stillwell (which, could her name possibly sound more British?) And who names their dog Stains? I mean really. (That "sentence" makes sense when I say it in my head, but seeing it written down just looks wrong... probably because it is. Whatever. You get the idea.)

Anyway, in case a poor dog salivating over cupcakes isn't exactly your cup of tea, the clip below isn't as funny, but it's entertaining nonetheless. I stumbled across it the other day in a list of viral videos and figured I'd help the virus spread. Enjoy!



I really enjoy the little old ladies rockin' out with the umbrella (or was it a cane?). Either way, good times.

Lie to Me (no really, you'll have to to get me to watch this show)

Well, it just goes to show that a good cast and promising premise do not necessarily a great show make. Lie to Me, one of Fox's midseason replacements, premiered last Wednesday, and while the critics I've come across have been fairly generous, I will be far less forgiving. I watch a lot of TV and my standards are strictly observed.

Following in the unending line of procedurals, Lie to Me focuses on a team of agenty type people who have been trained in the elusive art of lie detection. It's not the strongest premise in the world, but with Tim Roth and Kelli Williams at the helm, and in spite of the oh-so-formulaic elements (e.g. a new agent joins the team and acts as the audience's way in to a new world), I had some hopes for this show. I was willing to go with the fairly cheesy premise if the stories were solid, but the stories were, well, less than solid... It was all really more in the realm of Ooblick...

Anyway, it wasn't that the story of the week was insanely terrible or that the group dynamic was fatally flawed, but the show's failings really revolved around an inherent problem with the show's concept. For the audience to see these agents as badasses who can fight crime thanks to their specialized training (as is the overarching premise of so many shows out there, particularly procedurals), the abilities they possess need to be truly unique. These agents are able to detect micro-expressions or minute changes in voice and behavior that allow them to tell when someone is lying. Unfortunately, because the people on this show are actors and are all lying basically anyways, there can't be any genuing micro-expressions or tells that they're lying, so the actors have to consciously make those expressions, which invariably makes them neither micro nor hardly perceptible.

The show essentially operates on the specious belief that the audience can't tell when people are lying and that they can't tell that the actors are acting. In order to set these agents apart from the regular people out there, they need a set of skills that most people don't have (e.g., I can't diffuse a bomb like Sydney Bristow, I can't diagnose people like Dr. House, I can't remove my sunglasses with earnest self-importance like David Caruso (who can?) etc.). Well, I hate to break it to you, show, but most of your audience has a least a decent ability to sense bullshit. Indeed, it's the truly rare individual who believes everything he or she hears. And given that the actors on the show have to exaggerate all their micro-expressions to the point of not being micro at all, it's pretty damn easy to tell who's lying and who's not. Because it's so patently apparent, it becomes unbelievably annoying that these characters seem to think they have some fantastic ability that makes them super cool or something. It makes it even more annoying when you, the audience member, can easily tell that a character is lying, but a lie-detectin' dream team member can't.

At one point during the show, Kelli Williams' character's husband shows up and says he's late because he got stuck at the office or something. I know he's lying, everyone else on the show knows he's lying, but Kelli doesn't. She's supposed to be some specially trained whatever but can't tell he's lying/probably cheating on her? Ummm.... okay? I'm hopeful that she actually does know that he's lying and is toying with him, but I'm not holding out hope. The most annoying part of that scene was that one of the onlookers mentioned the fact that the husband was lying as though it was some startling revelation. Yeah, no. Everyone watching knew that was the case as well.

What's more, the show also operates on the ridiculous assumption that people only ever lie with the belief that people will believe the lie. At one point, Tim Roth is waiting for a parking space when a lurker sneaks into it before he has the chance. Tim accosts the man who says he didn't notice Tim waiting for the space. Well, Tim brilliantly uses his super skills to point out that the man was lying. As though the guy thought (or cared) for even one second that this guy believe his lie! Well no duh he saw you, Tim. He just didn't care. And if he actually thought for even a second that you'd believe him, he's probably dumb enough to have actually not noticed you there, so you can't really blame him one way or the other.

I don't know. Maybe I just watch too much TV and that's why I could see the plot twists a mile away and knew that the characters were lying (and much more damningly, why they were lying--yeah, my mother and I had the whole storyline figured out in the first 20 minutes). Or maybe this genre is overdone. Or perhaps this show really is just kinda, sorta mediocre and has adopted a concept that seems promising on paper, but falters in execution. It's probably a bit of all three, but that's exactly why a show that uses this kind of formula has to have something special to offer--some sort of twist or perspective that keeps it fresh. Lie to Me has no such specialness. And it's kind of a shame... I have to admit, on paper, I thought this concept would work a lot better than it does. The actual skill of reading micro-expressions is extremely interesting, but on the show, it just comes across as lame and condescending.

I'll be giving Lie to Me a couple of more weeks to hopefully find its footing, but I'm not sure it's salvageable. The acting is good and the stories weren't terrible, but when the basic premise is flawed, it makes it hard to really find a foothold. It's a pity, but I have to say that Lie to Me isn't worth your time. I've seen more than a few shaky pilots that turned into really good serieseses, but that's when I saw a lot of promise in the premise. I don't think Lie to Me has enough promise...

I gave Lie to Me a C-/D+. It wasn't a total train wreck, but it goes as far off the rails as possible without garnering such a distinction.

I'll let you know if it miraculously gets better in the next few episodes. It's happened before, but not often...

Life Lessons from Michael Westen

So, last summer I got hooked on a little show called Burn Notice. It airs on USA Network at odd times during the year, so I didn't really think it had much potential at first. Well, after catching a couple of episodes of the first season, I very quickly became hooked and got caught up on the entire first season in a matter of days. It's not often that the pilot for a show is enough to get me totally invested, but Burn Notice is one of those rare gems that come along every so often.

I gave the show a shot mainly because it has the insanely awesome Bruce Campbell in it, but I soon found that the entire cast is fantastic, particularly Jeffrey Donovan who plays the main character, Michael Westen. Likewise, the case-of-the-week storylines are always solid and the arc storylines are even better.

Here's the intro to the show that gives a little background on the premise:


The show is a kickass spy thriller, but at the same time, it's surprisingly funny (which really ups the re-watch value). I'd say it's more fun that Alias, but more badass than Chuck.

On top of all the rest, Burn Notice is supremely educational (in a good way). Even though most of the knowledge imparted by Micheal is largely esoteric and would only ever be needed by a spy or covert operative, you can't help but feel like you're learning incredibly vaulable information that will no doubt save your life in the future. After a Burn Notice marathon or two, you walk away supremely confident that you could take down a drug lord, infiltrate a crime syndicate, or excape from a Turkish prison. All very valuable information that will invariably come in handy...

In case those don't sound like the kind of problems you encounter every day, here are some life lessons from Micheal that might actually be useful in your day to day life:













Solid. Gold. And if your interest hasn't been piqued quite enough, here's a promo for season 2 for you to enjoy.

GG Redux Part 2: Damn that motherchucker!

I couldn't possibly blog about the latest episode of Gossip Girl and only talk about Lufus (see below), so here I am again. With something even more important than the trials and tribulations and watersports-related accidents of a secret love child.

I posted the following on a Gossip Girl forum where I came across several comments saying that Blair wasn't sympathetic in this episode and some even saying that she was annoying. I completely disagree. I love my Chuck Bass as much as the next person, but when Blair told him she was done, I was actually glad to see her stand up for herself. She keeps putting herself out there, totally exposing her feelings, and standing by him through his toughest times, and she keeps getting clobbered for it.

Honestly, considering the things he's done, and more searingly, the things he's said to her over the past few weeks, my hat goes off to Blair for standing by him as long as she did. She got him through his darkest hours and he still spat all over her. Every time he broke her heart and then said he was sorry, she accepted it, because he needed her so badly and he was too broken to act otherwise. When he ditched dinner with Blair to go hook up with floozies (that's right, I'm going old school) and get high, however, he was on the rebound and had the presence of mind to make a non-destructive choice, but did it anyway. I think that's where the difference lies. When he came to Blair with a bouquet of peonies (which I guess he gets points for knowing that was her favorite flower, but still), it wasn't the emotionally distraught Charlie Trout in the elevator, honestly needing her forgiveness, it was someone else entirely.

I'm confident that Chuck knew he was in the wrong for doing what he did and saying what he said, but he knew that before he did or said any of it. He made a conscious choice to hurt her and then thought he could just pawn his actions off on being duped by his uncle. Jack may have set up the circumstances, but Chuck is the one who bailed on Blair, hooked up with random sluts, and got wasted, all in time for his board members to see. He made a choice, and even though he realized later it was the wrong choice, I think his remorse had more to do with getting caught than genuine regret for his actions.

The real kicker, as far as I'm concerned, is that he essentially the same thing to Blair less than a year earlier, and for very similar reasons. The whole situation reminded me of Chuck abandoning Blair in Italy because his father said how nice it was to see him settling down and becoming and adult. Jack's speech to Chuck about how he shouldn't be tied down and should live it up as a single playboy was coming from the opposite angle, but had the exact same effect. Chuck ditched Blair, again, not because he didn't want to be with her, but because he'd rather maintain his reputation (a facade that he just can't seem to let got of). After he abandoned her in Italy, he told her he immediately knew it was a huge mistake, but here we are again, Blair being stood up and stomped on because Chuck won't do the right thing, even if he wants to.

The crux of the matter is that I have to applaud Blair for not buying into his charade (again). I have no doubt that Chuck really does regret his actions toward Blair (which are pretty damn numerous at this point), but until he can actively modify his behavior, it doesn't matter how much he loves her (or she loves him), he'll just keep letting her down or more likely, completely smashing her to pieces. Blair has been allowing herself to be demolished at every turn because she loves him, but at some point, enough is enough.

Besides, as I see it, Chuck could only truly love a girl who can stand up for herself and put him in his place. The Blair of the past few weeks has played the role of loving mother, understanding girlfriend, and stalwart friend, because that's what Chuck needed to survive, but the Blair he fell in love with wears a very different mask. The Blair we all know and love is the Blair who doesn't take shit from anyone and wages war on those who've wronged her (in utterly fabulous ways). Which, incidentally, is very similar to the Chuck we all know and love. I'll be very pleased to see the two of them get their confidence back and be able to go toe-to-toe in a fair fight again. In order to take down Jack, I think they'll have to.

GG Redux: Lufus

By special request, I'm offering thoughts and opinions on Monday's episode of Gossip Girl. This season has been a bit of an angsty, boozy, scheme-y whirlwind already, but Monday's episode (2.15 entitled "Gone With The Will") still managed to up the ante. In case you missed anything, you can read a recap here.

Here are my thoughts and musings on the latest goings-on of the UES.

Lufus van der Humphrey:

So, as is customary for any show that even occasionally ventures in to soapy territory (and even those that don't), a secret love child will be showing up sooner or later (see such shows as Brothers and Sisters, 90210, The O.C., Alias, and if you're willing to stretch the definition a bit, even Buffy the Vampire Slayer).

Well, with Gossip Girl being soapier than most (saints be praised!), you had to know that some long lost relative would show up eventually. Well, enter Lily and Rufus' secret spawn, stage right. I'm still not sure how I feel about all of this, but I trust Josh Schwartz implicitly, so I'm willing to go with it.
If only Lily and Rufus (mainly Rufus) weren't so damned dull, I think I'd be much more invested... (Quite frankly, I think I'd rather be watching whatever they find so fascinating in the picture above. I'm guessing Chuck and Blair are to the left of frame...)

Anyway, so L and R go to Boston to find the kid L gave up for adoption. They said he was 19 I believe, so with Serena being almost 18, does that mean she had the lovechild (in Paris, as I recall), came back to the states, met up with Herr van der Woodsen, and immediately got pregnant with Serena? I would have thought Rufus Jr. would have to have been at least 21 by now, but I guess it's all possible. Anyway, moot point.

Although the whole love child storyline smacks of jumping the shark at times, for a show like this, it just means it's Monday. I really did enjoy the twist they put on it and I think that will open up a lot of fun avenues for the show to take in the future. So yeah, the family said that the love child (who will be called Lufus from here on out) was killed in a tragic jet ski accident (heh) the previous year. Lily and Rufus totally believe every word of this story because they don't watch their own show often enough. In actuality, it was the adoptive family's other son, Andrew, who was killed in the accident. I'm guessing Andrew and Lufus were roughly the same age, so I suppose that could work. I thought the newspaper article was a particularly nice touch on the part of the adoptive father in convincing L and R that their son was actually dead.

Why did the adoptive family do this, you ask? Well, the mother says that they already lost one son and they didn't want to lose another. A lot of forum posters were perplexed by this comment, not seeing where they could lose a son who was already an adult. I think it's more of an emotional issue for the parents than a legal issue. If L and R found their son, he might start to think of L and R as family (even if only to a small degree), and not the adoptive family alone. I can see where adoptive parents would feel like their territory was being encroached upon with the biological family stepping forward (particularly a biological mother who's insanely wealthy).

There was also some question on the forums as to why they couldn't just contact the kid directly, given that he's 19. Well, thanks to a lawyer on the forums, this quandary was clarified: The adoption agency or lawyer would still have to ask the parents and get permission before anyone contacted the child, unless the child was actively looking (e.g. he had signed up with an agency or contacted the people who placed the adoption and indicated that he was open to contacting his birth parents). It makes sense that the adoptive parents would need to be contacted first, especially if the child didn't know that he/she was adopted. So yeah, even if the person is 40, the biological parents would still have to ask the adoptive parents before they could proceed. In spite of this, it sounded like the adoptive parents themselves weren't too confident in maintaining the child's anonymity when they expressed concern that with all L's money and legal firepower, the child might be found anyway. Which is why they put together the elaborate ruse about which of their sons actually died.

It's a nice twist. It leaves the door open for the son to show up without anyone thinking he was really Lufus. I'm guessing he'll show up at the same college as some of the show's regulars. I'm also betting that he hooks up with Blair. Come on, how much fun would it be to see Blair face when she finds out that she's dating the spawn of Rufus Humphrey? Absolutely priceless.

I was apprehensive about the Lufus storyline from the first time I heard about, but I think it's going to be good. I must admit that I found Dan's and Serena's reactions to sharing a sibling a little underwhelming. For a couple that freaks out over who had first choice of canapes, I would have thought this would have been more of a dealbreaker. (Although if Serena's dress in the picture to the right wasn't a dealbreaker, nothing could be. I like to think Dan is begging her to go change into a gunny sack or a hefty bag or something, anything besides what only Serena van der Woodsen could consider a dress... it eases the pain. (Not that "antebellum brothel madam" isn't a good look, but still.))

"Are they talkin' about the bordello?"
"No! The burlesque house. So just keep your mouth shut."

I digress... Anyway... Fortunately D and S kind of bore me, so whatever is going on with them is beside the point. The point being Chuck and Blair, of course.

More on them later...

F, XOXO -L

Spotted: F bringing a smile to L's face. :)

Ha! A big shout out to F, who, after completely reaming me on her blog earlier this week, totally made my day with her newest post.

When I saw the image that was frozen on the video player, I really didn't know what to expect... But leave it to F to find the perfect clip. What better way to say, "I love you," than with the gift of a kid getting hit by a door. Shown again and again. And then in slow motion.

XOXO!

L

Another year wasted...

I don't often post anything personal on this blog and on the rare occasion that I do, it generally ends in disaster (you remember the Christmas scooter incident, right?). Well, as is customary with the dawning of a new year, and as I've watched about 17 year-in-review type specials over the past two weeks, I've come to reflect on the year that was and the year that is to come.

Enter clinical depression, stage right.

I am not the person I ever expected I would be, and more importantly, the person that I am is a disappointment. [I know writing this kind of crap down is supposed to be all cathartic and cleansing, but I think it's just making me more depressed...and seriously worsening my posture, in an odd and disconcerting twist (of fate and of spine).]

I look at the year that was and my initial reaction is to resolve to change nearly every aspect of my life for the new year:

I resolve to be more in control of my life.

I resolve to be more dynamic and pro-active.

I resolve to do the things that I've always wanted to do.

I resolve to be the person I always thought I would be.

I resolve to smash SC and RD and NA and all the others.

I resolve to become successful at something. Anything.

I resolve to go back to school and actual make something of myself.

I resolve to no longer be afraid of failure (so afraid that I never do anything, ever).

I resolve to finally get a life.

On a related not, I resolve to finally have something to offer at Saturday lunch with the girls (I really am sorry that all I do is soak up your stories and have pretty much none of my own, ladies.)

I resolve to no longer be pathetic and useless.

In short, I resolve to be someone wholly and entirely unlike myself.

You can see where that's not easy to do... Much more disturbing, however, is that this is the same list that I made in my head last year. And the year before that. And the ten or fifteen years before that (I think I was happy right up till about age 9 or so...it's a rough estimate). Point is, it's the same list every year (with the possible exception of who my top three "need to be smashed" candidates are).

Upon realizing (for the dozenth or so time) that each year I resolve to be the person I always wanted to be and I never even come close to succeeding (nor make the slightest gains in that regard), I'm making a new resolution this year that cuts out the middle man and puts me where I'll be a year from now without all the muss and fuss.

I resolve to give up on ever achieving anything now and just accept that this is the way my life is going to be. Oh, and to just deal with it.

Setting goals and having aspirations never got anyone anywhere, right?

Wait, that's not true?

Really?

That's just me?

Oh. Well. That's unnerving...

Fortunately, the new me has resolved not to care. To echo the immortal works of George Lass, "I excel at not giving a shit." I'm a quitter, and I'm just going to own it. I don't have any passions in life that would lead me anything fulfilling, so I'm just going to stop while I'm behind. I'm used to it, so I already know my way around the place. If at first you don't succeed, quit. Ah, pearls of wisdom, where have you been all my life.

Oh, and I also resolve to become a motivational speaker. Eeyore thinks I'm a natural.

(And in case Disney's all-powerful reach wasn't pronounced clearly enough, "Eeyore" did not come up in my spellcheck... which is kind of awesome.)