CBS Pilots: Changing things up a bit...

Not only is CBS changing things up a bit, but so am I. Rather than break up the CBS slate of pilots into two digestible blogposts, I'm just going put the whole magilla into one. What can I say, we're in the home stretch and I'm getting lazy.

CBS, however, is actually putting forth more effort than usual. Rather than simply spinning off their library of crime procedurals into even more crime procedurals, they've actually added some variety to their fall line-up. Oh, don't you worry, the bulk of it still fits into the standard TV genres, but at least it's not all from the same genre for once. Hopefully the success of The Good Wife is what bolstered their confidence, but really, I'm guessing it's the sagging ratings of their aging line-up that led to some toe-dips out of the box. Whatever the reason, it's a nice change.

Here is how the new fall schedule is stacking up:

MONDAY
7:00 pm How I Met Your Mother
7:30 pm Rules Of Engagement
8:00 pm Two And A Half Men
8:30 pm Mike & Molly (new)
9:00 pm Hawaii Five-0 (new)

TUESDAY
7:00 pm NCIS
8:00 pm NCIS: Los Angeles
9:00 pm The Good Wife

WEDNESDAY
7:00 pm Survivor
8:00 pm Criminal Minds
9:00 pm The Defenders (new)

THURSDAY
7:00 pm The Big Bang Theory
7:30 pm $#*! My Dad Says (new)
8:00 pm CSI
9:00 pm The Mentalist

FRIDAY
7:00 pm Medium
8:00 pm CSI: NY
9:00 pm Blue Bloods (new)

SUNDAY
7:00 pm The Amazing Race
8:00 pm Undercover Boss
9:00 pm CSI: Miami

Why CBS does some of the things it does in terms of scheduling, I'll never understand, but whatever. I realize that both NCIS and The Good Wife skew older, but I can't imagine it's really the same demographic of older. Their placement of Hawaii Five-0 also has me scratching my head. It's one thing for people to stick around after the god-awful, but shockingly successful Two and a Half Men for Mike & Molly, but it's quite another to think they'll stick around after that. If Mike & Molly is a dud, then a lot of the lead-out from Two and a Half Men could be seriously diminished. It seems like a risky move to me. I would have paired Hawaii Five-0 with a returning show directly. Whatever. I'm sure it'll do fine regardless (barring Alex O'Laughlin's showkilling abilities, that is).

Anyway, on with the show! ...er, shows!

HAWAII FIVE-0

Description: Stars perennial showkiller Alex O'Laughlin, Lost alum Daniel Dae Kim, Scott Caan (Ocean's Eleven), and Grace Park (Battlestar Galactica). The behind-the-scenes talent has changed hands a few times, but I believe they settled on Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci to script a pilot episode, and Peter Lenkov (CSI: NY) to serve as series showrunner.



My Take: Well, first off, no one can seem to decide if that's a zero or an "o" in the title... I saw a tweet that CBS issued an official memo, but I can't remember what is said and neither can anyone else. I believe it's supposed to be a zero, but that looks awfully funny depending on what font you're in. Anyway... This is a remake/reimagining of the original series from the 70's. I have to admit, I have never seen even a single episode of the original, so I came into this latest incarnation without any substantial pre-conceived notions. Coming in blind generally helps more than it hurts because shows don't have anything to live up to or exceed in my mind. As such, the trailer was pretty solid and managed to pique my interest (for more reasons than the simple fact that Spike appears to be the baddie-of-the-week in the pilot--yay!). Unlike the majority of cop shows coming down the pike, Hawaii Five-0 seems to be taking the splashy, fun-loving, thrill ride approach, rather than the gritty, nastily realistic approach of its genre compatriots. It's a bit of a throwback to older buddy cop shows, which I guess makes sense, what with it being a remake and all. I wouldn't say I'm on the edge of my seat for this one, but it looks like some low-commitment, carefree fun. I've always liked Alex O'Laughlin, even if his latest career moves have been... uh... how to put this gently...? Okay, he's a showkiller, plain and simple, but I think the shows he's been on had already signed DNRs, so he's a mercy showkiller. I don't think anyone is going to miss Three Rivers... Hopefully, third time really is the charm for O'Laughlin's relationship with CBS. If ever a show he was associated with looked like it could break his bad streak, I'd say it's this. It looks a little shallow, but that's what most people seem to like. I'd like to believe that it's a serial, but I'm willing to wager it'll have a bad-guy-of-the-week and get wrapped up in a nice, neat little bow at the end of every hour. Sigh. If they do it right, that's fine with me. I've learned to accept the fact that most Americans can't bring themselves to follow a storyline for more than one episode at a time, so I've learned to enjoy encapsulated episodes in their own right. Long story short, this looks like a slick, expensive production with a solid cast. I've never watched CSI: NY, so in terms of showrunners, I can't really offer much of an opinion, but I think we can all thank our lucky stars that at least he's not coming from CSI: Miami. I think this show will do very well and just might have enough panache and budget to pull this off. I'll definitely be giving it a shot.


MIKE & MOLLY

Description: From Chuck Lorre (“Two and a Half Men,” and “The Big Bang Theory”), stars Billy Gardell and Melissa McCarthy (Sookie from Gilmore Girls, not True Blood (yeah, cause that wouldn't be weird at all)), and the resplendent Swoozie Kurtz.



My Take: Okay, wow. I shouldn't be surprised considering Lorre's other shows, but Mike & Molly looks absolutely terrible (The Big Bang Theory is okay, I guess, in small doses, but Two and Half Men is positively pestilent). I didn't even crack a smile during this trailer. I'm a little conflicted though because I keep reading things on the web that says the full pilot is actually pretty charming and funny. Based solely on what I've seen so far, I find this hard to believe. Near as I can tell, it's just going to be 23 minutes of fat jokes and lame relationship anecdotes. I love Melissa McCarthy and her comedic timing is unimpeachable, but I'm afraid the jokes she was given fell pretty flat. She tried, she really did, but it all just struck me as predictable, forced, and stupid. The only reason I will even be screening the pilot is because I have heard some good reviews, but I'll be absolutely shocked if it's anything but painful to watch. Honestly, getting through the three minute trailer was fairly difficult... Also, on a purely shallow note, I have a hard time watching unattractive people engaged in romantic relationships, and the guy playing Mike is thoroughly unappealing... Sookie can do better, methinks. Much better. In all honesty though, I doubt I'll be around long enough for it be an issue.


BLUE BLOODS

Description: Stars Tom Selleck, Donnie Wahlberg, Will Estes, and Bridget Moynahan. From executive producers Robin Green and Mitch Burgess (The Sopranos).



My Take: Man alive, exactly how many new cop shows and I going to have to watch this fall? At last count, I think we hit 17. The glut makes it difficult to really get excited about any of them at all. Anyway, I find that I'm even less excited about this one than most, but I can't quite pinpoint why exactly. There's something off-putting about police officers in general (police work and military experience are pre-existing conditions as far as I'm concerned and are not covered under my dating policy) and unlawfully brutal police officers are even worse. Seriously, just hearing Tom Selleck say the words "enhanced interrogation techniques" made me a little ill. Which, to the show's credit, is probably the point. They are trying to stir a debate into the nature of justice, which is commendable, but not exactly appointment TV for me. I'm not really on the fence in this particular debate, so hearing it discussed at length doesn't really appeal to me. Anyway, I don't suppose that's going to be the central aspect of every single episode or anything and it really does point to a deeper, more conscientious narrative construct than most shows. Maybe it boils down to Donnie Wahlberg and his total lack of any and all appeal... Sigh. I'm mildly intrigued by the multi-generational family and the dynamics of a "family business" of sorts, but I'm not sure this is a capacity in which I'd want to explore it. In spite of Wahlberg, the on-air talent is seasoned and solid. The creative team has similarly impressive pedigrees. I never watched much of The Sopranos, but I'm well aware of its sustained quality over the years. I think the problem here is that this creative team is moving from the freedom of HBO to the confines of primetime network TV. Gritty crime dramas have a hard time being reined in by standards and practices in general, but for a team like this, I think they're going to have a hell of a time translating their style to a more family-friendly format. My other concern is that this show is premiering on Fridays at 9 pm, so I think finding an audience is going to be difficult. CBS has a better track record with this timeslot than other networks, however, so if anyone could pull this off, it's them. I'm not all that excited for this one, but I can definitely see where it could be better than it looks.


THE DEFENDERS

Description: Stars Jim Belushi, Jerry O'Connell, Jurnee Smollett, Tanya Fischer, and Gillian Vigman. Created by a couple of people I've never heard of...



My Take: Okay, so when I say CBS is changing things up a bit, I mean in terms of the CBS network brand only. In terms of TV, yeah, no, they're just as pathetically "business as usual" as the rest of the airwaves. Sigh. Here we have yet another lawyer show. Dear TV Writers, there are scads of workplaces that would make for interesting show settings, but you only seem to think there are three: lawyers, cops, and doctors. If you could casually dip your toe into something, anything else, it would be greatly appreciated. Honestly, this is getting ridiculous. Anyway... this show is a legal show, but it's totally different, see, because it's told from the point of view of the defense! Sooo... not different at all, then? I don't know. It's hard to be objective at this point. This looks like your standard client-of-the-week lawyer show, but I suppose with a more low-brow edge to it than usual. It looks like it could be a fun, low-commitment show, but at this point, I'm so weary of this genre that I just can't bring myself to be excited about it. Really, The Good Wife is the only recent legal drama that has brought something new and interesting to the table, and that's why I love it. This doesn't look like a bad show or anything, and the two leads have an obvious buddy chemistry going that's appealing, but I just don't know that I really care. What aspect of the trailer piqued my interest the most? The fact that Natalie Zea was in it. She isn't listed as a series regular or anything, so I assume she's only in the pilot, which is a good thing for Justified's sake, but not such a good thing for The Defenders. I'm sure I'll end up giving this show a shot, but as with the deluge of cop shows, I find myself looking for something newer and fresher to explore. With legal, doctor, and cop shows? I'm pretty sure I've seen it all.


$#*! MY DAD SAYS

Description: Stars William Shatner, Will Sasso, Nicole Sullivan, and Stephanie Lemelin. From the creators of Will & Grace.



My Take: Yeah, you lost me at "Based on the Twitter sensation"... Ugh. While this isn't the worst comedy trailer I've seen this year, it's pretty damn close. This looks pretty awful. I actually quite liked Will & Grace back in the day, and the creative team has other impressive credits as well, so I'm not sure what happened here. Maybe it's the multi-camera format, maybe it's the oppressive laugh track, maybe it's the weak-ass concept, maybe it's the Shatner, but whatever it is, it isn't working. Geez, even Nicole Sullivan is awful in this, and I quite like her in general. As with most CBS comedies, I don't think this one is going to win me over. And, from what I've been hearing on the web, it won't be winning over anyone else either. It's a lame concept, with forced, predictable jokes, and an unsuccessful attempt at giving it some heart as well. Thanks, but no thanks. I'll pass.